Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 05 Dec 2019 10:41 PM · For: i'll keep leading you on

Well, I have to say, I had a feeling that was coming. It's always when you're embarassed to see someone that you tend to bump into them the most. I knew Freya and Oliver weren't done with each other quite yet. I wonder how they'll work together for this fashion shoot. 

 

Poor Freya definitely had a rough night. Sounds like the gold potion she downed was really sketchy. Kind of curious about what sort of potion it was. Maybe a variation of a cheering potion?

 

I am also a bit curious about the fashion industry in the wizarding world. I get the impression that Freya is Daphne's muse, so I would sort of expect her to be paid a little better than it seems she is. Or maybe modeling isn't as stable a career in the wizarding world?

 

Wow. Freya's mom is so different from her. I imagine it must be quite difficult for her to understand her daughter's lifestyle. It's hard to fight for a cause like equal rights and then watch someone you care about doing something that seems to undermine that. 

 

As usual, another good chapter! I'm off to read the last one now. 

 

~Kaitilin

Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 05 Dec 2019 10:21 PM · For: so light me up

Hello again! 

 

I'm back for another review because how could I not continue on with this story after the last chapter? I have to know what happens. 

 

Well, I was worried that something like this might happen. I figured the hook up would be hot and that she'd find herself struggling to let go of it. I do have to wonder though about her reaction towards becoming his next flavor of the month. She knew who he was and what he's like with ladies. Why get jealous after she slept with him? I mean if she didn't want to be the flavor of the month, there are less hostile ways to clarify it was a one night thing.

 

The hook up scene was very well written. I struggle super hard with writing sex, so I'm super impressed with it. You had the right balance of detail without it becoming gratuitous. 

 

I have a feeling in the upcoming chapters that Freya and Wood might bump into each other here and there. It seems Wood was as into her as she was into him and I think after the post-hook up blow up they both might feel like they have things to air out with each other.

 

Another good chapter! Look forward to reading more soon.

 

~Kaitlin

Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 05 Dec 2019 09:52 PM · For: i can feel the flames on my skin

Hey there! 

 

I'm here to drop off a couple of review gifts from your wishlist! I always really enjoy your writing and this story in particular sounded intriguing, so here I am.

 

Wow. This is such a unique concept. I love the idea of this gritty fashion underworld with part-veela models. I also really enjoy the idea of Daphne Greengrass being a famous designer. It seems a fitting career choice.

 

I really love all of the details you put into to describing the club. I always want to be able to visualize a setting fully, so I appreciate the way you built it here. The details about the mood enhancing candles, the way drinks just appear, all of it really builds the vibe.

 

Oh. This is an interesting departure from the Wood we knew in the books. Clearly, age and fame has changed him significantly. I get why Freya finds him appealing and I'm glad she's keeping his history in mind because I can see so many red flags flying already. I really hope she doesn't get herself hurt or into trouble.

 

I have to admitt, I'm really curious to see where this is going to go. I'll be back for another chapter soon! 

 

~Kaitlin

 

 

Name: MrsDarcy (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2019 06:59 PM · For: so light me up

Just wow!

 

I loved this chapter a lot – the exchange between Freya and Oliver escalated really quickly and I can kind of already see why they’re not together in TAOBN, which is sad because they’ve got such great chemistry :o

 

I like that you’re dealing with drug-use, I think it’s really interesting and really fits the story. Oh man, Freya is such a mess, it seems a realistic portrayal of the world she lives in – the model world, that is. It’s vividly imagined and I especially loved this ending line:

 

“I drop my bag to the floor, wand clatters to the fluffy carpet and I make my way towards my bedroom, shedding my clothes with each step I take.”

 

It’s amazing and paints a really vivid image

 

I have this little theory that Freya will end up pregnant after their one-night stand, I’m so much hoping for this – please tell me it will happen! Haha, I’m all for the drama that would cause :)

 

<33 Beth

Name: MrsDarcy (Signed) · Date: 29 Nov 2019 12:27 PM · For: i can feel the flames on my skin

Hey Kris! Here for EvS

 

Wow, this was really something – first of all, I really love your writing, it’s very immersive and you have such a knack for being inside your character’s heads, which I find unbelievably difficult, but you just do it! And it works seamlessly. I especially liked the first line: “What happens in the Serpent stays there, cloaked in darkness and shadows, half-truths and illicit touches never to be spoken of again.”

 

I’m super happy that this ties in with the rest of the universe – like all your writing does, it’s just really fun to follow your continual expansion of it. And Freya and Oliver are definitely a little messed up, which I totally expected, because, well, it’s you who’s the writer :P I think Freya has a maturity in the way that she knows herself, however, is still young enough to ignore her mind (as in, Oliver is no good, and she knows it).

 

I already know that this isn’t intended to have a happy ending, and I can see why – both characters, especially Oliver, needs to grow in order to have a functional relationship – but hey – perhaps he will! I’d love to see how they can connect, not only based on physical attraction, but on a deeper level.

 

The “skål” made me feel right at home, haha. I hope you’ll tie in more Norwegian words – and perhaps let Freya introduce Oliver to schnapps and liquorice shots ^_^ 

 

Overall, I thought it was a really lovely beginning and I’m super excited to see what comes next!

 

<33

Beth

Name: Aphoride (Signed) · Date: 24 Nov 2019 08:00 PM · For: i can feel the flames on my skin

Heyyyy Kris! :) It feels like such a long time since I stopped by your page, honestly :P Which means it's a good thing I'm here now, right? :P 

 

I think my favourite thing about your writing - or, at least, one of my favourite things - is how messy your characters are. I've never been a fan of purely good characters, and I love how your characters are so free to make mistakes, be rude or cruel or silly, and generally be a mess - though there's always something of a lift towards the end of the story :P It makes all your writing seem so honest and real and I love that :) 

 

I love that this ties into your Greengrass-universe - if only because I love that 'verse, haha, and the whole world you've created around it, and it gives an extra layer to the idea of Daphne being a designer, having exclusivity over Freya's contract and who she works for. And, ofc, staging her brand parties in her father's shady lair :P 

 

Freya is such a great character, already. I love how she's obviously beautiful but with more of a fragile confidence that I might have expected: it seems more of a front than genuine, natural confidence - until she decides she wants Oliver and has the potion and goes for Yael, then she feels so fired up and so sure of herself - and I can almost feel the intoxication through your writing: how she waits, how she's so expectant and so nervous and thrilled; ah your description is so so good. 

 

I love as well how she knows herself so well: she knows Oliver's bad for her, she knows it's not a good idea, but she also sort of knows from the beginning what's going to happen and almost half-surrenders, half tries to take control of things/herself. She just feels so fully fleshed out and so real - like, it's such a relatable thing to do, haha, and such a relatable way to be: confident in some situations, not others; easily distracted; that knowing you're going to do something even though you know you shouldn't... this whole thing just is so emotive and so descriptive and gives this super edgy, thrumming sort of vibe which I love - exactly like a club and all the bad decisions that come with clubbing :P 

 

Ahhh Oliver :P I like how you've taken his character from the books and grown him up, haha. He was never that arrogant in the books, but fame easily gets to people's heads and makes them full of themselves and overly cocky, almost demanding and obnoxious and I lovelovelove that you've taken him that way. (It's a real contrast to how Viktor Krum's written, yk, with his kind of humility and shyness, despite being an international Quidditch sensation at 18, and I really like that?) 

 

Honestly, I'm so so curious to see where you go with this from here - what kind of mistakes are made, how actually bad are they? Does Oliver mellow out, does Freya take control of things? Does Daphne have to intervene and smack them both upside the head until they become sensible adults? :P (I wouldn't put it past her honestly :P) I feel like this story could go almost anywhere, any way and I love that openness about it - I'm hooked, can you tell? :P 

 

A great, great start! :) 

 

Laura xx

Name: belgian quaffle (Signed) · Date: 18 Nov 2019 04:34 PM · For: i can feel the flames on my skin

obviously i'm just so extraordinarily late on our swap because i was waiting for you to post this so i could review it! obviously oliver wood is one of my fave characters so i've been excited about it since you started talking about it in the first place and couldn't resist this AT ALL when i saw you posted it. it was only a matter of needing time to actually sit and write out a review since i do that at literal turtle speed.

 

omg the description in this is AMAZING! i genuinely feel like i'm inside the club with them. a little sweaty and gross, a loud bass, SO MANY BODIES. it's amazing how you manage to set the scene and transport me as a reader into The Serpent. it makes the rest of the chapter so much more fun to read.

 

i love freya's first interaction with oliver. that she's so confident that's the only norwegeian he knows but acknowledges that he uses it well. their interactions here are SO FLIRTY their collective hotness is so tangible kris!! i'm v jealous. also, changes girlfriends like socks is my new favorite line ever. i couldn't help but giggle at that.

 

and again with the description!! the ending few paragraphs set SUCH a scene between freya and oliver (and yael who is maybe the ultimate wingwoman?? hopefully girl gets her from one of the other girls on the floor). but OH MAN WAS THIS ENDING HOT.  ughh this is incredible. i love how you described oliver as being all action but still the time seemed to stop-the contrast there is incredible! i literally cannot wait for this whole thing! ive been stalking your nano nest for updates in this and i too want a happy ending for these two now. anyway, excited for literally everything to come in this!!

-sarah

Name: copilot (Signed) · Date: 14 Nov 2019 08:27 PM · For: i can feel the flames on my skin

KRIS

KRIS

i am here 1 for our swap and 2 because let's be real - i'm going to review everything you post to the archives eventually

and let me tell you this

THIS IS *CHEF'S KISS* 

i did sign up for smut but i am not disappointed in the SLIGHTEST because this is just TANTALISING!! their aggressive flirting! *cue grease 'tell me more' style chorus* 

i would also like to take this moment to reflect on the indirect social commentary of how models aren't really viewed as humans - and then the double whammy with the whole veela aspect because you did not have to go that hard but you did and MAJOR RESPECT because MMMM that watered my crops, fed my children and cleared my skin all at the same time. 

as always, your writing is EXQUISITE (aka so fantastic i think i'm going to go and eat a dictionary because..... HOW??? DO YOU WORD???? THIS GOOD????) and i am both very glad i've been in your dms, semi-aggressively trying to cheer you on AND that you decided it was your nano project. and that's that on that. 

- love, emily xxx

(see you for chapter 2 soon!!!!)