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Hi there! I'm here to leave a review for the Wizarding Universiade! :)
Wow, I really really loved this! I am so fascinated and compelled by your characterization of Lucy; every one has kind of a unique interpretation of her, but your characterization feels a lot fuller. I especially love the way you illustrated the various tensions within her and how they're interrelated.
First, there is the tension between Lucy's ingrained sense of responsibility and morality, warring with her (very natural!) desire for freedom, a litte recklessness, a thrill-seeking side. I loved how this tension was illustrated at the beginning of the story, when Lucy was considering the ticket to the Flitterbees' concert. I think it's very clever how the Flitterbees' songs seem to reflect and speak to this tension: echoing a 'weariness' within her, igniting a thunderclap, as you so articulately put it. This feels like a very familiar, teenage feeling--you know, the sense of being carried away by a song, or really the feelings the song speaks to. I've definitely felt it, and I think you described it perfectly: especially in the description of how her brain rationalizes it, but her heart clenches onto it. (Related sidenote: you've nailed the Ravenclaw characterization, haha. I feel very seen). I also loved the description of all the things that Lucy desires, but feel out of reach--it really contextualizes this moment of rebellion and irresponsibility very well, making it all the more compelling.
The interesting this is that rebellion doesn't even feel like the right word...perhaps indulgence, but that would imply a sense of guiltlessness, which Lucy obviously does not feel, given how guilty she felt when trying to lie to her parents and for the risk that she might put on Francis and Cal. I'n really compelled by this sense of morality; it makes Lucy incredibly likable.
The second tension that I picked up on was Lucy's conflict over her sexuality and her (seemingly) unrequited feelings. Ohmygosh, my heart hurts so bad for Lucy, with her crush over Cal...what a relatable feeling. And her fear over her sexuality when it comes to her parents....also a super relatable feeling! I loved the way that this tension played out in her conversation with her parents, and the ways that they assumed certain things about her and suggested things about their beliefs--the subtle discomfort with saying the word "gay". It's such a good nuance about how difficult these conversations can be for closeted people.
I was also really interested in how these tensions intersected with Lucy's parents conception of her as "a good girl"--a well-behaved, predictable heterosexual girl. I get the sense that this story will be of that perception being challenged...because I think that Lucy is a good girl. Clearly incredibly empathetic, clearly very responsible and inherently moral...but not necessarily well-behaved and obedient. I'm excited to see her develop more throughout the rest of the story, embodying her "rebel" self more...I love the idea of a "responsible rebel"! And I really love the immediate backdrop of the Flitterbees' concert and the greater backdrop of the seventh year: it creates a sense of urgency and transformation, like you can't keep waiting anymore, that is the perfect motivation for a coming-of-age story.
Anyways, great job! I loved this first chapter, and hope to come back and read more!
<3 Shreya
Hello! Back again for the CMDC review event :)
I love the dynamics between your characters and I love that we get to see them from all of their points of views. Last chapter, it was so obvious that Lucy was falling all over Cal but we at least got the impression that she tried to contain it and be chill. Then we get to this chapter with Francis and it's so absolutely hilarious that she gets called on it, even if it is only in his internal monologue. It really shows how close these three are and how they're able to notice
Poor Francis. I know he's trying to be nice and cooperative with his friends but it must be killing him to have to deal with Lucy and Cal (who seem like a real handful when they're together) and get over his ex. I'm sure a concert will cheer him up in the end, but I have to agree with him. The Leaky Cauldron seems like an awful place to take your friend who just got dumped (in a letter no less).
His anxiety is too real. I'd like to think that if I skipped the first day of school to go to concert I'd act like Cal, but I'd totally end up like Francis. I almost kinda hope that his mom accidentally shows up and he has to talk his way out of it, especially after whatever Cal ends up forcing him to wear. Because let's face it, he talks a big game about Lucy always giving into Cal, but he only prolongs the arguments by pretending he doesn't.
I can't wait to read more! You'll have to let me know when you update :)
Hello! Here for the CMDC review event :)
I love the premise for this story and I absolutely love that it's about Lucy. I feel like she (and Molly) are sometimes underused Weasleys so whenever I find a story about them that's really well written (like this one) I have to jump right in and see where it's going.
I absolutely love that you're focusing on wizarding music for this. It's such an interesting premise and I love how you've ingrained it in Lucy's personality. It seems like such an of-brand thing for Percy's daughter to be into but that makes it even better. I also love how you didn't go all the way to the extreme and make her super rebellious and obviously into rock and all that. It's a much more engaging story with the way that you've presented, with Lucy still being the good daughter who follows the rules but also happens to be skipping the first day of seventh year to go to a seedy venue to listen to a 90s band no one's heard of.
I cannot wait to see more of the dynamic between Cal, Lucy, and Francis. They're friendship seems really real and I do actually believe that they've been friends since they were eleven. They seem like they compliment each other well and I'm so hyped for Lucy's crush on Cal to play out. It seems like it could be a really interesting relationship between the two of them, especially if no one knows that Lucy is into girls.
Also...a vampire?? I'm so in. I cannot wait to read more!!
Hiya! Happy new year to you! Here is some wishlist cheer for you <3
It’s amazing how a ticket like that can make one feel so powerful! also i loved the story about releasing the frogs lol
ha i love the analogy and how it all seems to make sense for dominique, makes for some interesting story progressing!
Ooooh the discovering music is always great and there is nothing more brilliant than discovering beautiful music for the first time. I sometimes long to go back to the moment I first heard my favorites
Okay haha she’s definitely gonna rebel, this is great
ooooh she def is so not used to rebelling and lying though she makes excellent arguments
oooh the guilt
cal truly is a helpful friend
lol i love cal, she’s brilliant
but truly, what a great start to the story! people rebelling for the first time, heartbreak, the fact that lucy hates the way she is getting pushed to a job she doesnt want - it truly has it all and everyone is so diverse too! truly an excellent way of writing and i loved the descriptions! happy new year!
hi caro, i’m here spreading some last-minute wishlist cheer!
i love this introduction to lucy - she’s such an interesting character, wanting to be a rebel (and getting up to her first real act of rebellion in this chapter) but she’s also been a bit of a good girl for most of her life, so this is her first true act of teenage rebellion. and what a good cause for teenage rebellion! skipping the hogwarts express to see your favorite band perform for the last time ever seems like such a great time - i know lucy’s freaking out about it a little, but i can’t help but think it’ll be 100% worth the punishment.
i also really love the way you talk about music in this chapter - i’ve 100% been in that same place as lucy when she discovered the flitterbies for the first time. there’s something about finding that perfect artist or that perfect song that’s just… life-altering. there are so many songs that i can just distinctly remember what was happening the first time i listened to them, because it was very much a ‘holy shit’ type of moment. and i love all the lyrics to their songs that you’ve woven in here!! did you come up with all of those yourself?? they’re great!
percy and audrey are… almost exactly what i’d expect out of them. poor lucy is trying to hard to lie her way out of them coming to the train platform with her - i felt so much secondhand stress for her when they somehow had a response for every excuse she tried to make! also, percy’s comment of ‘i read all about the spectrum’ is just so incredibly percy.
and then francis and cal! first of all, i love that seventh-year summer of severance is a thing with an actual name - i can definitely see that being a thing, because i definitely remember a lot of relationships dying right before my senior year of high school or my senior year of college. people always want to ~live up~ that final year to the fullest, lol.
and i love seeing cal through lucy’s eyes - she seems like such a great character, and lucy’s feelings for her are so bittersweet. it’s got to be hard to listen to someone you like talk about how they don’t believe in love. but i’m low-key shipping them already, so i can’t help but hope that something will happen between them!
i love that you’re doing this story through multiple POVs - it’s always so fun to see how different people react to the same situation. i’ll definitely have to come back to this story soon for more!! <3
-taylor
CARO!!! Hello, dear! Here for your wishlist! Happy holidays! :D
I've heard so many good things about this story, so I'm glad to be here now! :) And it is so great so far! You have such a lovely, engaging style and such a wonderful sense of humour, I'm sure I already told you, but it's true! :D
Honestly, I can't imagine skipping school to go to a concert... which probably tells more about me than it does of your characters... :P It is so amusing to imagine Lucy, who is always so well-behaved (or at least, that's the feeling I'm getting) to do something like that... lie to her parents, pretend to be where she isn't and all that... especially when she's Percy's daughter... I'm wondering what will happen once they get caught... because they will, won't they? But I'm sure it'll be worth it, even if Lucy is feeling so guilty... I loved all her arguments to convince her parents not to see her off at King's Cross, btw! Those were hilarious! :D
I'm already enjoying the trio of friends! Poor Francis... but Aiden doesn't seem to have been particularly good for him in the first place, so... I'm sure he will get over it...
Lucy's feelings for Cal are so sweet, as well. Will anything come out of that? Being in love with someone who claims to not believe in love does seem like a struggle, but maybe she'll change her mind... (hopefully...?)
I loved the final scene. There is a sense of finality in the clock hitting 11... it's like the point of no return, they can't backtrack anymore now... they are officially "criminals" :P (very side note: is the death potion a thing? I know it was only a joke, but I'm wondering...)
I'm also curious to see how Percy will react when (if) he'll learn about Lucy's sexuality... I'm sure he'll be accepting, but also he'll take some time to get used to the idea?
This was a great first chapter! Brilliant job! Remind me to come back some time, please?
Snowball hug and happy holidays again!
Chiara
First of all, I LOVE Regina Spektor. So there's that out of the way.
You have a really beautiful way of turning a phrase, like this:
Being around them made him feel somewhat like a giant; he was gangly and taller, on the cusp of something they wouldn’t know for a few more years.
If I could make a suggestion: I like how you are heading each section with the time of day, but the header at the beginning of the flashback to the party where it says "History" is a little jarring - it's like announcing a flashback with "Flashback" and sort of takes the reader out of the story. I would suggest titling that section with the month and/or year of the party, e.g. "December 2019" or whatever year Francis was 11.
I really like how we are seeing why this band is so significant to each of these characters, and therefore understanding why this excursion is so significant for them, even though even without those back stories there would still be significance to this group of close friends ditching school to embark on this adventure together. I mentioned Ferris Bueller in my previous review, and this second chapter only solidifies this feeling for me as the reader, that even though this story is set in modern times or very near future and concerns a fantasy world, it is very evocative of those classic coming-of-age stories that we all know and love, and I think that nostalgia why it's so engaging.
Melanie
Hey, so first of all, I love the concept for this fic, it's so fun and lighthearted on its face, like a wizarding Ferris Bueller's Day Off, but you're also doing a great job weaving in some deeper themes with these characters.
I am really liking this characterization of Lucy - she's not only a good girl, nor only a rebel, but a truly realistic, multifacted character with conflicting desires and doubts. I identify a lot with her, actually, having been a compliant child but also a person who sort of always wished I was more rebellious, cooler, and more willing to beg forgiveness than ask permission.
But on nights like these, when the world is so still and quiet, Lucy can feel her skin stretching against her anxious bones, she likes to fancy herself as quite capable of doing anything.
--This is such a gorgeous description.
“Yes,” says Percy. “I read all about the spectrum.”
--Oh my god. LOL. I can 100% hear Percy saying this. I loved that whole interaction.
I loved the pervasive feeling of anxiety throughout, as Lucy is very clearly worried about being caught, and it carries through to the very end where they're all holding their breath, and making us eager to see what happens next!
Melanie
Hey!
I love this chapter! I've always seen this story around the archives and I've always really loved the title of it and meant to check it out. I'm so pleased that gifting event is here so I get some time to read and review.
I think your writing is just wonderful. I think you have such a brilliant talent with your imagery. I love what you've done with your descriptions like the doxy/pixies in the first paragraph is really effective. I think the way you've really gone into little details which is really making your story come to life. Your writing is so rich and vivid. I don't know how much is canon in regards to the band? I feel a lot of it is your worldbuilding though which is amazing!
I think you've done a great job with lucy's characterisation so far. I really like the way she looks at herself like she wants to be more of a rebel but she isn't. I think you've set lucy up in such a good way because it feels like there is a big journey for lucy to go on with those early hints on her sexuality too. I think there is a lot of growth in her character which I'm excited to see.
I feel like I'm shipping lucy/cal already! i love your description of cal. it's really effective how you've chosen to describe her through lucy's eyes. I think when you're just crazy about someone then you notice little things about them. how she smells is so personal but it's something that lucy knows notices is so telling. I think it's just very clever description. We don't see much of Francis but he seems like he is going to develop into a big personality. I'm looking forward to seeing more of him.
I was really taken with how you wrote her family dynamic. I think I see Percy pretty much how you've painted him. He seems well meaning, they both do (Audrey). they seem too care a lot but maybe not sure how to relate with her. I think that's a really realistic portray of family.
I love the idea about music into the piece too. I think it's pretty unique concept to base the story around which is weird considering music is so important to everyone's lives but I've not really seen people use that in stories too much. I'm going to be interested how you develop this aspect as lucy talks about it so passionately.
I think this is a wonderful first chapter. It sets up so many different strands for this story. I can't wait to see that change in POV too.
Abbi xx
Hi Caro! I’m here for the Rager :D
Wow, do you have a knack for description. I love how you pull the reader viscerally into the scene with the words that you choose—particularly the way Lucy’s skin is stretched over her anxious bones—brilliant! And the way you capture that special moment when Lucy discovers a new song—and the way you described the singers’ voices as being between weariness and attitude—you’ve done an amazing job choosing the right words for this story!
And Lucy! She wants to be a rebel but she’s been a good girl all her life. Sounds like Percy’s daughter, if I do say so myself. This band must be something special if their break-up concert is the catalyst that causes Lucy to finally do something rebellious. I can’t wait to find out where this adventure takes her.
The image of Percy constantly reading the newspaper—even while attempting to raise a child—is so fitting. And poor Lucy’s attempts to lie to her parents are deliciously awkward. I really liked the part where she remembered the story of Pinocchio and her own nose started itching. But she’s bought herself a lot of credit by always having been a good girl, so even her unpracticed fibbing gets her what she wants.
Cal seems like a lot of fun—and poor Francis :( Break-up by letter is awful, even if the guy is a tosser.
I loved the ending scene with the trio holding their breath as they miss the train to Hogwarts. As rebellions go this isn’t the worst thing they could do—and they way they are all in awe of themselves and thrilled by their own daring is sort of adorable.
This is a great start to what I predict will be a wonderful story!
Yours,
Noelle
I loved getting this insight into Francis' character! He seems so sweet, I really like him! And I really appreciate the little flashback into his first experience with the Flitterbies. He felt like a realistic teenager with the way one particular song got him through years of his life--I guess I'm just finding this very relatable!
And I really like Cal in this chapter. She's a fantastic character, such a go-getter! She definietly feels like the glue in their threesome, and I can't wait to hear her perspective!
Absolutely loved this, I hope you update soon!
Hi Caro!
Wow, wow, wow! I loved this SO much! Your writing is so compelling and entertaining, I just fell into this story and I don't ever want to leave! You've written so many unique and magical descriptions that made the story feel so rich, and I especially love the lyrics to the songs!
This was a perfect first chapter, you've set up so much that I can't wait to see unfold, from Lucy's attraction to Cal, and Francis' break up. Speaking of those characters, they all feel very distinct and like a real friendship group, and I got very excited when I saw your endnote about switching perspectives! But what I enjoyed the most was this idea of Lucy looking to step out from under her parents' watchful eyes and rebel, even if it makes her feel unsure and uncomfortable. I think it's something every teenager goes through. I'm very excited to see where this goes!
CARO! CHAPTER TWO WAS JUST AS GOOD AS CHAPTER ONE. HOW DO YOU DO IT.
I adore Francis. He reminds me of this adorable freshman who lives on my floor, who has the absolute funniest sense of humor—his mannerisms and everything are so quirky and strange and cute, and every time he says anything, it’s just borderline hilarious. Francis reminds me of that kind of child. I kind of want to protect him with every fiber of my being! He just inspires that kind of loving feeling, you know what I mean? :P I’m sure you do, you created him, haha. And speaking of which—how do you manage to create such true-to-life characters?? IT’S AMAZING. Like, in the previous chapter, I felt so sympathetic with Lucy, like I had my own personal experiences for comparison’s sake. And now Francis?? Who literally reminds me of a very real human?
You’re just so amazing with your characters. I love and treasure them all already, and would pretty much die for them at this point because of how wholesome they are. I mean! In fantasy lands such as the mystical Hogwartsian Wizarding Word, we always read about characters who are brave and daring and who go off on high adventures that often feel far too complicated and dangerous for their age (haha like Harry Potter himself), which is always fun, but it doesn’t inspire this same kind of relatability. I get these characters. They’re not the bravest of the bunch, like the rest of us! Yet they’re still decent people, and enjoy the same sorts of things, and take the odd risk every once in a lifetime, you know? :P
But on a more serious note, being in Francis’s head highlights his insecurities. While we’re also able to see his outer effects—how he’s a good-natured, wholesome presence within the group (I say wholesome because he loves experiencing the Hogwarts Express view anew each time, which is the cutest thing omg)—we really get to delve deep into his poor mind. It obviously really, really hurts him about the breakup, which makes sense. I mean, getting broken up with via text (owl, oops) is one of the cheapest things in the world, and it makes me wonder what exactly Aiden’s reasons were? I also wonder whether or not this was Francis’s first relationship! It gives me first-relationship vibes, mostly because of the way he thought things would be okay between them even though it “sometimes felt like it was deeply lacking.” I feel like oftentimes in first relationships, people don’t really know where the standard should be, so it’s easy to sort of sink into a subpar relationship without worrying too much about it.
It’s okay! I have faith in him! He will soon realize that there are better things to expect in this world. <3
I have a feeling that this endeavor will be kind of life-changing. I really love coming-of-age stories, and I’m really looking forward to see how Francis develops as this story goes! I loved reading that little origin story of sorts, when you describe how he first came to love The Flitterbies, and the way you describe music! “He made himself focus on the lyrics, on the guitar playing, on the pounding beat, drinking it all in before it would end—” Ugh, so good. Did you base The Flitterbies on any particular real-life group? I’m so curious to see if there’s like a real-life analogous music band! :P
I love Cal. Her callousness is pretty rough at times, but gosh I love her to the end of the world and back. Her insistence that they wear shoes with “at least” twenty spikes is so funny—partially because I have no idea whether or not I should trust her, hahaha. I mean, does she know any more than them? :P She’s so fab, I love it. I feel like she’s someone who disguises worry with snappishness, though, because she had that moment when she apologized to Francis…
So looking forward to her chapter!! <3
Love,
Eva
Ahhhh that’s author’s note! I’m so flattered!
Okay, Francis time! I am already so deeply attached to Lucy I may be sad she’s not narrating, but let’s see if you can make me feel the same about our boy Francis.
The struggle is that nobody is a very flattering picture of themselves when they’re in a post-breakup state, and while I pity him, that does make it harder to actively like him. But I also kind of relate, especially to how conflicted he is between wanting to not ruin things for his friends and not wanting to miss this opportunity.
Omg Francis is such a tragedy he’s even allergic to floo powder. It almost reminds me of Blunder.
Haha, I love the visual of Cal being totally chill and unflappable on the knight bus, it’s very her.
“He’s mostly been avoiding his feelings.” Francis, hun, if this is you avoiding your feelings….
Haha, “a phoenix in need of a chiropractor” is hilarious.
I like that Lucy is the only one practical enough to read the actual instructions about where they’re going XD
HMMM what could Lucy POSSIBLY be preoccupied about
I didn’t expect Cal to admit she was nervous. I’m looking forward to her POV chapter and seeing what’s up in her head and how long it takes for her to acknowledge how into Lucy she is.
The description of the train ride is lovely, both in the beauty and the visual of students being crammed together like sardines. That is the first part that makes me actively affectionate about Francis. He’s not in too much of a hurry to grow up, and he realizes that one day he’ll miss what he had the opportunity for now.
Haha, I love ““Well, she’s going to have to learn that not everyone is going to blindly follow her—” But evidently, Lucy will”
You do a really good job of writing younger Francis. I liked how you balanced his awkward age, and the excitement he felt about being in cahoots with the girl and saying the word drunk out loud.
I’m getting emotional over Francis getting emotional about all the significant moments that song would see him through.
Yesss I love Hex Closet, and best friend clothes shopping trip is the perfect vibe for this story. Is it too much to hope for a Lucy and Cal dressing room scene?
I continue to love this story, and can’t wait to see what happens next!
Sam.
CARO. THIS IS SO GOOD OMG. I WAS SO ABSORBED FROM BEGINNING TO END, AND I AM ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE. My very first reaction upon finishing was “No more???” because I didn’t fully register at first that you’ve only written one chapter of this so far, and now I am just going to be waiting very eagerly for the next chapter. I mean, your writing is so beautiful, I can’t get enough of it!
The first thing that mesmerized me were your descriptions. I have such a soft spot for ethereal, mystical descriptions of things, and I was drawn into that exact sort of description when you wrote about fairies and doxies. The words you chose reminded me of one of those rare early mornings in forests when the sunlight is perfect, and the dew on the grass and leaves are glistening in the light. Like, that kind of image brings me so much calm, and I love the way you made me think of it with your description of fairies! “The sinews in their wings caught the light like dewy spiderwebs, and their eyes resembled tiny obsidian rocks, completely black”—I mean, that’s just such poetic language that I feel almost overwhelmed by how beautiful the fairies sound. And then the contrast with the doxies! Everything here was written so beautifully. <3
I loved the way you set up the image of The Flitterbies following the paragraph about fairies and doxies! My canon knowledge is not good enough to remember if this is an actual band or not, but either way, I had no idea who these people were, yet you’ve imprinted such a strong image of their musical persona in my mind! I could almost hear their style of music playing in Lucy’s room. (I love that she listens to them on a record; it makes a lot of sense that the wizarding world won’t have switched comfortably over to more advanced recording methods, and the retro-ness of it somehow feels a lot better than if she had been using CDs or something.) And that this is the thing that she’s going to really break the rules for, for the very first time? It shows so much about her, and it makes her so relatable, and I just love her so much already.
Oh my goodness the scene when Lucy was trying to convince her parents not to go with her to the train station by lying about this and that was so nerve-wracking. Though for me, it was partially because it reminded me very strongly of the end of my summer, when I wanted to return to school a day before move-in day so that I could hang out with my friends (some of whom who were already there, living in their own apartments) before having to handle actual responsibilities and such, and so I kept trying to convince my mom not to come up with me to the dorms because they weren’t technically even open yet. :P And she was so suspicious of me. Which was entirely deserved, but that was the most anxious situation of my life, and I was so worried about Lucy because her situation just echoed mine in a frightful way hahaha. (Things worked out for me in the end, so I’m glad that things worked out for her, too. :P)
Oh man I’m so sorry that I just spent a paragraph talking about why I found Lucy’s situation relatable.
Anyway! When Percy was like, “Maybe around noon, I’ll pop down to Marion’s office and express my own gratitude—" I was like, “NononononONONONONONO” but I’m glad that Lucy handled it well. (With the helpful support of her mother, haha.) Her parents are so relatable though, it’s insane—they evidently care about her, and they want her future to be successful, but sometimes their approaches to pushing her towards jobs feel a lot more stressful than helpful, you know?
I love Lucy’s friends!! The moment that Cal popped in, I went “aha” because of course this is the girl that Lucy would fall in love with. She seems wonderfully snarky and funny, and the two seem so so close, and I am so curious to see how their story unfolds in the following chapters! And I love Francis, who seems like the sweetest, most wholesome person, and I’m so sorry that he had to suffer through breakup via owl. :( Which I presume is like breakup via text, though the owl breakup probably takes a little more effort than that haha.
That moment when they were just watching the clock tick closer to eleven o’clock was so marvelously done. I was holding my breath alongside them.
Wow, this is such a wonderful beginning to a story, I can’t even fully describe how much I love it. Your writing is just amazing! I’m so, so looking forward to more! <3
Love,
Eva
Have I mentioned that I’m INCREDIBLY EXCITED FOR THIS STORY
I feel like I might have.
I resisted asking on the forums if this story was going to be gay, because I didn’t want to make it look like how much I care about a story depends on how gay it is (just kidding, that’s totally true), so as you can imagine I am more pumped than previously stated.
I think you already know that I have a soft spot for Percy, so I always like reading from Lucy’s perspective. I really like how you characterized the dichotomies in her, of how she acts vs how she feels. I kind of relate to that, having simultaneously been rebellious and a Good Kid.
The Flitterbies is just such a perfect band name, I love it.
I don’t think I’ve read many stories that have much of a focus on music, which is a little odd because music is such a powerful influence on a lot of people. And you write about it so well here, I can really feel Lucy’s unique connection to it. I especially loved this line: “There’s a magic in discovering a song, entirely different from the spells she’d been writing about, the alchemy she’d learned.”
Hehe, I like your little worldbuilding bits like the Fizzing Whizbee recall.
I think you did a good job of capturing the family dynamic here, of well-intentioned people who don’t always connect the best. The line about how Lucy always remembers her father blocked by newsprint is sad, but it’s in the midst of a conversation of him insisting on accompanying her, so it’s not as if he’s totally unavailable. I found the bit about the family trying to get a rise out of Percy to be endearing.
UM we get breath on cheek and lingering fingers in the paragraph Calliope is introduced? You’re going to kill me with this aren’t you. Ahhh and her scent. I can’t imagine how much more intense the feels are going to get.
UGH and all of these little hints of it maybe not being one-sided, like the way Calliope reassures Lucy about her laugh and how she only feels comfortable singing around her?? I’m melting.
You really make me feel the need to hear their songs so badly.
I really enjoy Cal’s sass. All of your characters feel very dynamic and alive.
I tend to have a really hard time reading anything longer than 2k words, but your writing kept me hungry for more. Again, I say: gimme, gimme!
Sam.
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