Name: Noelle Zingarella (Signed) · Date: 27 Jan 2020 02:15 AM · For: Chapter 1

Hi Vicki! I’m here for the CMDC Round 1

 

This is an interesting little poem. Honestly, it could stand by itself outside of the Harry Potter fandom I think, as a lovely ode to fall. But, since it is in the fandom, it has an added layer of urgency. As Helga Hufflepuff stands there, watching the work of the Founders take shape, she is wondering and hoping that their dream will come to fruition. Because, what if none of the parents want to take the risk of sending their children there? Is Hogwarts ever safe?

 

You mention in the footnote to notice the alliteration, and it is very nice. All the w’s lined up together remind me of winning but also of woefulness. Winning because the Founders have dug out this space to educate the next magical generation, and woefulness because they live in a difficult, violent time. There is also something very nostalgic about the sound of the repeated w’s.

 

But the repeated f’s are my favorite. They remind me of fall itself, and also of the sound of the breeze, blowing the colored leaves off of the trees. And the f seems to be used the most; describing the leaves, and also the fear that the parents may have to trying something so new. 

 

Nice work!

 

Yours,

 

Noelle

Author's Response:

Hi Noelle,

 

This poem is another one that I wrote for the poetry forum on MNFF.  Each year they held the October Triathlon, which was three poems on autumnal or Hallowe'en themes.  I thought back to the very earliest days of Hogwarts, in the low Middle Ages, when life in general was not very secure, and the building was not yet made of stone, and nobody knew for sure how this idea of a school was going to turn out.  The waning of the year creates a mood of apprehension, insecurity, and the subtle effect of the alliteration seemed more suitable than did a more strident rhythm and sharp rhyme.  

 

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing it.

 

Vicki

Name: grumpy cat (Signed) · Date: 05 Nov 2019 09:44 PM · For: Chapter 1

heeey vicki! i'm here for good old EvS, team silver *_*

 

even before i noticed your end note about alliteration, i really appreciated the effect it creates. there's this certain rhythm to the poem and somehow, it creates this sort of...peaceful (before the start of the first school year) but tense and expectant (maybe even slightly excited?) mood that occupies helga.

 

i loved how you drew us the imagery of the end of summer and start of autumn because those lines in particular create the expectant mood, like something new is going to happen, something the founders have been working on and it's time to let go of old habits and embrace the new. and even though spring is usually the time we associate with new beginnings, i've found that in this particular poem, autumn works really really well in this regard, as if everything is becoming clean (i don't know which better word to use, to be honest) before this big thing that will happen.

 

i also think that you've somehow, in this short poem, still managed to show us plenty of helga's personality and character. the simple fact that she's there, thinking about children, about what's best, hoping that their families (parents) will embrace the future and let them learn from the best tells us just how great of a teacher she is (or, well, in this time would be since she hasn't started teaching yet :P).

 

i always love reading your stories and poems *_*

 

kris

Author's Response:

Hi, kris.

 

It's always so gratifying when a reviewer turns their attention to the poetry on my AP, since poems don't receive as many reviews as prose does.  It was interesting to see that your impression of Helga was that, while she was feeling tense and expectant, her mood was both peaceful and excited.  It must have been exhilarating for Helga and the other Founders to bring their vision to reality, to build this first wooden building, and to advertise for students, but now, at the final moment, she wonders Will they come? She knows that she and the other Founders are asking the wizarding population to make a big cultural shift.  I'd like to think that the numbers, though small at first, grew larger every year.  Thanks so much for the review.

 

Vicki