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Hi there! Here for a galazy event review:
Wow, I love the sensation that you create in just the first paragraph. I could really feel the lock clicking and the sound filling the room. It was like a sensory overload moment. The next paragraph has the same senation attached to it. And the phrase "evidence, they said" makes me believe that the narrator does not believe they are guilty. Such interesting phrasing.
This description is continued with the ship, which is another amazing image you conjure! Your way with descriptive lanuage is so powerful. I wonder how this person was captured with this much power. And I love how you describe that as well, with an ability to "carve scars in the wall", it's so cool
I would love to know more about this story. It is so jam-packed full of descriptive language and intense reflections on the past and what is to come. I wonder how you came up with the idea for this!
Great one-shot :)
blackballet
I'm back at it again at Krispy Kreme with another review for your Gellert/Albus content! I love this being entirely from Gellert's perspective, the energy definitely feels more manic. The description of the blood on his hands and his irregular heartbeat like a hummingbird actually made me a bit stressed reading it, haha, it was so effective at creating a mood!
I'm curious, is this a specific crime that we know happens in canon? I haven't watched the Fantastic Beast films so I'm a bit behind on my Gellert canon, and I'd be really curious. In any case, you make the entire event bristle with life. He's so detached from what he's done, which I think is pretty realistic given what we know about him, but at the same time he's hyperfixated on these little details. It almost feels like I'm watching a true crime documentary about him (I love true crime and it's fascinating seeing the narratives killers event about themselves).
Great job!
**review left for the winter in fairyland event**
Hello!
This story description drew me in because Gellert is such a darkly fascinating character and we know so little in canon of his origin story (those recent films notwithstanding haha)
I was really impressed by the way you utilized colors in this story. From the blue/grey of the eyes to the purple/black waves with silver crests, it painted a very vivid picture that not only helped the reader visualize the scene, but also conveyed a real sense of the mood and emotions.
The blood on the hands part was very effective. It conveys that he did something very serious while leaving the reader to speculate on th specifics, which I think makes it that much creepier. Plus you have the neat symbolism of all the blood that would be on his hands in the coming years.
And those closing paragraphs, you can just feel how he's becoming self-aware of how much power he has and how he can wield it. What a sense of foreboding Big things are coming. Excellent villain writing!
-James
Gryffenclaw Take Flight Review Event
Hello, Laura, my love! I'm here with a review for CMDC round 3! :)
This was so good, just as your writing always is! I can't believe the stunning image you were able to paint with so little words, it's astounding! <3
There is salt on the air and blood on my hands what exactly did Gellert do to be expelled from Durmstrang??? Actually, I'm not sure I want to know... but there is something so chilling about the way you describe the blood sticking to his skin, like an indelible mark...
The description of the ocean air, the ship swaying, the colours, the smells... it's all just so powerful and almost tangible... your descriptions are always so vivid and beautiful, but I've told you that so many times already...
The feeling of power that Grindelwald feels is also so strong and tangible and I love how it just seems to explode, and how you use the images of blood and water again. It's so effective and so good! And his delirious laughter in the end, and the feeling of freedom... just so powerful and so good and so... Gellert? I guess?
In case that wasn't clear, I absolutely adored this, just as I always adore everything you write!
Good luck in the FROGS and brilliant work once again! <3 <3 <3
Love,
Chiara
Author's Response:Hey Chiara! :) Thank you so much for dropping by! :)
Ahhh thank you so much! I was kinda worried about this story, tbh, because it doesn't have a linear timeframe and it jumps from points in time to others, bouncing around the timeframe for the story - which I know can be super confusing, especially because it's all based in visions and images, rather than actions. So what Gellert did is something I didn't actually really decide on, tbh? We know from canon that he did something involved dark magic, supposedly, which endangered other students and meant Durmstrang refused to tolerate him any more - but most of our information on that comes from Rita Skeeter, who's not necessarily the best source :P So it's very variable, and I liked keeping it vague - and I liked the image of them refusing to let him wash his hands - there's a kind of cruel horror in that, because washing your hands is a very normal, usual thing to do, and insisting someone can't is an odd, personal restriction, yk?
Thank you thank you! I love writing Durmstrang. I've always liked mountains and lakes and things, so it's not odd, haha, but I love writing about it - so that was so so nice to do and so familiar, as well, which was helpful :)
It was really fun to explore Gellert in this moment, where he's discovering freedom, power, a real sense of self and determination that he's just kinda untouchable - because he doesn't care if he stays or goes, that's not really a big deal for him - and I really wanted to try and convey that: that for him it's not a bad thing? And yes, he goes on to meet Albus and that changes his life, but for him this is the beginning. So this is where it all starts and beginnings are exciting and hopeful - and that's how Gellert is, yk? Also he is a deeply dramatic soul and I love that :P
Thank you so so so much for the lovely review - it was such a great thing to get! :) <3
Laura xx
Hi Laura!
(I was surprised to see this - I think it might be the shortest piece I've read by you :P (no less brilliant for that, of course).)
I know I've read a lot of your stories that feature Gellert, but this was fascinating - I don't think I've ever actually read about the moment that he was expelled from Durmstrang before, so this was such an intriguing story and moment to drop us into. I think what I found most interesting about this piece was how vulnerable Gellert appeared in these moments. In the stories I've read where he's with Dumbledore, or later, I've always seen him as a confident young man who's sure of his destiny - almost like the charm and determination that we see in a young Tom Riddle. Here, he was much more vulnerable and open than I've ever seen him before, and it was so interesting to see him in that state.
Yes, he might be experimenting with terrible dark magic, and yes, he might already have horrendous plans for how he's going to achieve domination - but equally, he's still just a boy here, and I thought you captured that sense of momentary fragility brilliantly well.
The description (surprise surprise) was stunning in this piece, too. I loved the way that you used so much imagery that was fleeting, even down to the descriptions of the colours - it was a real echo of the transience of this moment, and it was so effective in painting this picture.
I loved the arc that Gellert travelled in this piece, too - going from looking inwards as he wonders where his path will take him next to looking outwards and forwards again with renewed confidence. It was a really nice way to bring the story full circle!
Sian :)
Author's Response:Hey Sian! :)
(Omg I knoww! It's so tiny! But, yk, when it comes to the House Cup, you gotta do what you gotta do, so - in my case, this meant a tiny, tiny story which was a terrifying kinda challenge, but it was nice to actually come through it, yk? :P)
Yes! :) So canon has said that Gellert is a Seer - and that kinda made me think about how destabilising it must be to be a Seer, yk? Seeing things that aren't real - or aren't yet real or might not ever be real; good things and bad things alike - and knowing things that perhaps you wish you didn't. Especially since the only other Seer we meet in canon is Trelawney who, er, can't really be called stable as such :/ So I liked the idea of developing that in the context of Gellert's whole future changing with his expulsion and how he is in that moment and how it effects him. And, yeah, ultimately he's still sixteen - and as much as he's happy and determined and still so certain about his destiny, he's still emotional and full of adrenalin at being caught and expelled and therefore vulnerable and his Sight makes him almost more vulnerable on top of that because there are moments when he's not in control of himself or his surroundings, or even really aware of them.
I liked writing him as more emotional - with a kind of obvious, exploitable weakness and a kinda stubbornness and anti-authority stance which is kinda typical of teenagers in general, I think, haha. It was fun to bring out that kind of emotional conflict and write him more out of balance and disoriented and more taking advantage of a situation out of his control than following a plan he'd designed and executed. For him expulsion isn't a bad thing, but it's something he wasn't expecting - something in his plans has gone wrong - and he has to adjust, which isn't always easy, especially when you're young and as convinced as Gellert is of your own intelligence and ability :P
Ah thank you so much! I loved writing the description in this - it was fun to jump around from image to image and to try to create recurring themes, even if there wasn't as much space to develop them as I'm used to :P (Also I cut so much from this, omg, so many little additions here and there which had to be cut out to get it under the word count, which was hard but it was a good test to pair it down and make it a real skin-and-bones kinda story, with no waffling or divergences? :P) Writing Durmstrang is so so much fun, with all the mountains and the gleaming sunshine and the lake itself, so it was nice to come back to that in this :)
Yessss it's a really kinda scary sort of step forwards - because we know what happens, but for Gellert, it's all just beginning and I liked the circular aspect of it, even though I didn't really intend that when I started it? :P
Thank you so much for the wonderful review - it was so lovely to get! <3
Laura xx
CMDC round 3
Hi, Laura. I've just read your reply at the six segments of satsuma. There, you mentioned it was natural for you to mention wind, water or nature. After reading the episode of the famous character who was expelled from the northern magical school, I remembered the other work of yours and stopped by the review response of satsuma. Reading this one shot, I made sure the excellence of your writing flavoured with poetic wording like Wordsworth, Coleridge, Shelley, the romantic poets. I remember a mountain worshiper, Rousseau as well, reading water description of the sea in this story. You put the protagonist's emotion into the words describing water, even the blood is liquid.
If he had not done any harm, the sailing should have been full of hope for the future. Alas, he did crimes, his future was tainted by his own sins.?This one shot is like the picture painted by a romantic painter, J. M. W. Turner, Grindelwald 'sitting low in the sky under the red-orange sun' on the canvas.
K
Author's Response:Hey Kenny! :) Thank you so much for stopping by! :)
Ahhhh thank you so much! I've always loved the romantic poets too - there's something so ethereal almost about a lot of their work; at least, there is to me :P And I think that kinda rubbed off on me, yk, because they tended to write a lot of landscapes, scenery, and a lot of natural elements - plants, animals, wind and water and things - and I do that too? But yes - it's so fun to do, for me, and it was lovely to get to come back to that in this, especially with Durmstrang and its mountains and lakes. There is a lot of water in it - and I think in ways it reflects Gellert well: there's so many layers to him and so much turmoil and an almost constant movement as he thinks and plans and things change, even as there's this single-minded pursuit of the Hallows and his revolution.
Yeah, I always saw as it a hopeful ending: full of freedom as he leaves behind Durmstrang and its rules and walls and very prescribed days with lessons and lunchtimes and things, and goes out into the world to pursue his own ends. But I like the idea that that was tainted by the crimes he committed to get expelled - I hadn't really thought of that.
Thank you so much for the lovely review - it was such a sweet surprise to get! :)
Laura xx
Hi Laura! I’m here for CMDC Round 3 :D
The word painting in this story is amazing! Everything is so vivid and specific from the psychedelic colors to the feel of Grindelwald’s magic.
I felt off-kilter during the whole of the piece, being dropped right in the middle of this upheaval in Grindelwald’s life and treading water trying to get my bearings—but in a very good way! I felt that it really highlighted the turmoil within and without Grindelwald at this moment when he’s been expelled.
My favorite part was the description of Grindelwald’s experience of his magic—the way it flowed from all parts of him into his hands and then outward to do his will in the world.
The description of the blood on his hands and the way that it’s seeped in to every line and fingernail was so tactile and vivid. I wondered if its the sort of thing that would never come off. Will that mark always be there—however much he washes?
Nice work!
Yours,
Noelle
Author's Response:Hey Noelle! :) Thank you so much for stopping by! :)
Ahhh thank you so much! :) I really loved writing this - and description comes kinda naturally to me and feels easier for me, and with the small wordcount which really is the opposite of my normal style, haha, it made sense for me to stick to something which was a lot more comfortable :P Plus it's been a while since I wrote something super description-heavy so it was nice to go back to something super full of metaphors and images :)
Yessss I'm so glad it worked! :D I really wanted the non-linear timeline and the jumping around from place to place and image to image to feel really out of sorts - because this is kinda a moment for Gellert where he's not really in the moment in the way most people would be, being a Seer under a lot of emotional stress (whether good or bad: adrenalin, relief, excitement, etc.), and so he's struggling with it a bit. And it is an emotional kinda time: I doubt he would have expected to get expelled, perhaps thinking he could get away with whatever it was he did, and so he has to reassess and redo his plans, deal with the mixed emotions from getting caught and then expelled and things.
Hahaha it is a very Lady Macbeth-esque image, isn't it? :P I never really decided exactly what it was he did, but blood was too good and too vibrant an image to pass up :P The blood itself probably does, but it's the kind of thing that leaves an internal mark, I guess, yk?
Thank you so much for the lovely review - it was a really great surprise to get! :)
Laura xx
LAURA. <3
You do so much in these five hundred-odd words -- it feels almost like a vignette, a brief capture of Grindelwald’s messed-up psyche, but what I think is amazing is how there is also a past and future in this piece. We know that he did something incredibly nasty and horrible (is this depicting the aftermath of Grindelwald taking control of the Elder Wand?), and that after the ship sails, marking his expulsion, he will continue on this destructive warpath. It’s incredible how you include those three timelines all at once, fitting it so neatly in this one-shot, which is so rich with beautifully dark descriptions.
I am obsessed with your opening sentence, which winds and stretches across three lines in a way that feels more than unstable. It captures his wild state of mind, almost creepily contemplative and vivid, so well. I don’t know that I’ve ever read something this short by you before, BUT you of course completely nail it -- you convey the story through the descriptions, which I think is more effective at communicating the goings-on of this wonderful one-shot in this short space than if you had just straight-up stated what was happening. Am I reading the first sentence wrong, or does Grindelwald have heterochromia in this story?? You mention his “eyes - one light, one dark” which makes me think that he has one blue eye and one brown, or something like that, which would be really interesting. It’s certainly a very rare characteristic, and I can see how people with heterochromia would’ve been considered a little alarming, especially back in that era, so it feels oddly suitable for someone like Grindelwald. However, I don’t know if that’s actually the case -- I just love the concept of it. :P
I’m very much in love with “choked-gasp passionfruit-pink”. I love it because it creates such a new association with passionfruit-pink -- the color suddenly feels much more fragile, as someone who is choking up surely would be (at least in the moment). It also feels a little fleshy and human, and reminds me of how carnations share the same root as carnivore, which I really love.
The shift of Grindelwald’s mood from the teary-eyed, distraught beginning to the power-hungry end is accomplished so well. It was absolutely chilling, when he slid his bloodied palms against the wall, leaving those handprints. It’s so symbolic of the violence and bloodshed that he’ll commit in the future -- I absolutely love it.
This is a really beautiful one-shot, Laura! Thank you for sharing. <3
Love,
Eva
Howdy Laura!
You are always writing such dark things and you can convey them with such brevity and impact that it's like this experience of the words physically massaging your brain. That probably makes no sense, but back to the story.
As always, your descriptions here are fantastic which really helps immerse us in Grindelwald's twisted and tumultuous mind. In the beginning we can obviously visualize him locked in the cell, but then he literally wipes away the present and jumps into an AU where he's happy to be soaked, though soaked in something entirely different - water. The comparison between blood and saltwater was actually one of the things I really enjoyed about the story because there are so many 'sayings' if you will that connect the two and thus even more to call to mind when you consider the connection in the story that actually kind of holds everything together with a shred of coherency on Grindelwald's part.
What also intrigues me about the concept of Grindelwald contemplating (though I'm not precisely sure how much contemplation is involved) different lives. There is a chance that if he were not so focused on magic vs. muggle (blood...interesting) that he would've applied his many talents elsewhere and wound up with the freedom he experiences on the boat. It kind of evokes the sadness or anger you have about talent used for evil or talent simply wasted.
In any event, this proves another excellent contribution to your wondrous AP. Thanks for sharing!
Hey Aph!
I'm here to leave you a review for the CDMC event - Round 3! Congratulations on your nomination in the one-shot category. I'm excited to see just what this story is about.
One of the things that I think comes across so well in this story is just how well you know Gellert Grindelwald. I always feel like you've put so much thought and care into deciding and building his history. That really shows here. You really dive into his expulsion from Durmstrang so brilliantly. You show that madness and chaos that's always simmering under the surface waiting to explode outwards, the rage at being bound by social morays and the freedom that he suddenly feels now that he won't be confined by teachers and their desires.
As usual, your description in this is absolutely brilliant as well. I know I've told you at least one hundred times over that your use of imagery is some of the best on the site and it really shows here. You do a lot of work exposing the turmoil inside of Grindelwald via images and it makes the feelings in this so very tangible. One of my favorite little bits of description comes towards the end when you are talking about the blood colored hand prints and the delirious and sour laughter on the air. It really paints a fantastic picture of his final spin towards madness.
It's also super impressive how much you packed into such a short chapter. With just over 500 words, you provide the reader with such a visceral experience. I could really feel Grindelwald's relief at being free from the confines of the school, from the rules, and the people watching over his shoulder. I feel like he sees it more as breaking out of the asylum than an actual punishment. In some ways, the way you wrote him reminds me a lot of the joker towards the end of the most recent movie.
This was definitely chilling and so well done, but then again, I never expect anything less from you! You truly are a brilliant wordsmith and this story is just one of many examples of that.
~Kaitlin
Hi Laura!
I’m a fan of your Albus/Gellert stories already, but this was a super cool short one to read/listen to! You write so beautifully, and I think what really makes this story work is the sharp, cutting phrases that act as transitions to either a new location or new feeling or body part doing something. I quite like that this takes place when Grindelwald is still a youth, getting expelled for his crimes at Durmstrang, because it’s indicative that he’s not got all of his power under control yet, and lost control too much here and is now paying for it with his expulsion and potential to be locked away for said crimes. And Paula, narrating this fic, wow!! Her cadence with all of the cuts and specific phrasing you wrote is absolutely perfect. She’s got great tone of voice for Gellert’s internal monologue, and the rise and fall matches with when he’s finishing a thought or the cut to a different one. Just stellar all around, honestly! Even though Gellert is a homicidal maniac, you manage to make me enjoy his story so much in your fics, Laura, and this one is no exception!
~Madi
Author's Response:Hey Madi! :) Thanks so much for dropping by! :)
Ahhhh thank you so much - they're so fun to write and I've written them for so long now that they're kinda easy to slip into? so they're sort of my go-to for when I need to write things quickly, and especially things like this, where with the short wordcount it's not really in my comfort zone at all :P Thank you - this was such a fun one-shot to write because I haven't really explored much of that darker side of Gellert before, so it was fun to do more of that and expand it out - with the added threat and disorientation that being a Seer would bring to it too. And yea, him being expelled was an interesting moment to do because it's not something he was expecting - a real, big mistake for him - and it forces him to adapt and re-evaluate what he could get away with and what he couldn't. A bit of a moment of hubris for him :P
I know, right?! Paula's narration is so so beautiful - she captures the rhythm of it all so so perfectly and the way she reads it adds a really beautiful, real kind of layer to it which I love <3 It was a lovely, lovely gift from her and I'm still a little bit shook that there's a podfic of it :P
Ahh thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! :)
Laura xx
For the sandcastle event in the HC finale 2020
Laura,
First thank you for writing this moment in history for Ravenclaw.
Wow! In 500+ words you packed quite a punch. Your description and visualization is beautiful. I love the use of color throughout the story from the blue eyes and passion-fruit pink to the colors of the ocean.
The blood on the hands was also so telling, yet created so many questions. The biggest being, of course, what crime did he commit?
The ship was also a great idea. Is this the same ship that came to Hogwarts? Is this the normal way of travel for Durmstrang. Where are they taking Grindelwald imprisoned on the ship? Or is it less taking him somewhere but rather sending him away from school.
The paragraph about power was particularly. . . . well, powerful. "Power pools like water. . . Their ignorance, my enlightment." Even as a teen, we definitely see the formation of his beliefs and desire for power.
Great job, Laura. Very chilling!
Author's Response:Hey! :) Ahh it was so fun to do - writing the moment - and helpfully exactly my jam, yk? So I was so so glad to do it - especially because I'm not always the most consistent at contributing, so it was nice to do something :)
Ahhh thank you so much! I love writing description, haha, and I ended up cutting quite a bit of stuff out of this - mostly exposition, so it wasn't really needed but I just liked it :P - which was often description-based. It was hard to get that balance right, especially because I wanted it to be a bit dream-like and feel kinda vague and blurred, with it's jumbled-up timeline for the plot and the character flitting between what has happened, what is happening, and what will happen in the near future. It was fun to write, but hard to know if the balance is there, yk? :P
Ooohhhh yea so I really didn't want to go into what he did - because I kinda like that in canon (so far, at least) it's left up to people's imaginations what he did to get expelled from Durmstrang. I've seen a lot of variations of what it was - ranging from super dark magic to something far more petty, like graffiti - and I've never really picked an idea myself, so I didn't want to waste time trying to work that out for this, especially with the deadline :)
Yes! :D So it's a major part of my general Durmstrang headcanon that the ship is their version of the train which takes students to and from Hogwarts - which works better, imo, because the school is meant to be north Norway/Sweden, and accepts students from as far south as Bulgaria, so they'd need some way to get the kids there which didn't depend on there being a land connection, and the ship is fun :) So yes, he's on the ship and they're taking him back home after his expulsion.
Ahhh thank you so much - I'm so glad you liked it! It was hard to fit everything into the word count, haha, and Gellert's a character who's prone to waffling (as, er, am I :P), so it was a challenge, but it was so fun to write so I can only hope other people liked it too :)
Thank you for the lovely review! <3
Laura xx
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