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Hey! I'm just dropping by with a galazy review :)
Interesting premise for a story! I love a murder mystery, and this epistolary format adds to the intrigue :) I wondered whether there would be witches/wizards in the police force, in case of 'strange' happenings in the muggle world.
OMG, the actual letter to Dolores Umbridge is bloody hilarious; I would have LOVED to have been a fly on the wall when she read it LOLOL. 'Overpromoted quill pusher' indeed!! Very insulting of Dolores to refer to Jack's career as a 'muggle hobby' - how dare she! Love the way he tells her exactly like it is!
But who killed the vicar? And why? I hope we'll find out - that's a particularly gruesome way to do away with somebody...
Great beginning to this story!
Meera <3
YES Detective Inspector Teague, fuck Cornelius up!! Ooooh he pulled NO punches, and that makes me want to go “hell yeah!” like I’m at a football (american football) game or something like I’m cheering for a goal/touchdown/point being scored. Jack Teague just OWNED Fudge, and he better know it!! He will expose Fudge for those shady Malfoy business connections in Ministry business, and he won’t budge on having Umbridge arrested for obstruction of justice. I’m also curious about the new little tidbit of information we get in this chapter too, with the Reverend having baptised baby Harry Potter, and knowing Sirius was his godfather, and therefore possibly the turmoil after the Potters’ death with Sirius, etc. etc. Great chapter, Dave!
~Madi
Broom Racing
Oooh letters from Minister Fudge let’s go and see what this guy thinks of DI Teague’s work and investigation. I love the detail you put in with the Minister’s office information for postage and then DI Teague’s address, but I’m not sure if it’s his home address or work address. Either way, love little details like, especially in epistolary fics like this! Minister Fudge literally being like, “Hey I can destroy your career without lifting a single finger on my own, so release my undersecretary or you’re in deep shit” is some sort of terrifying tyrannical shit. But also because he sent that letter, that *clearly* means there’s something extremely fishy going on with the Rosier case if both he and Umbridge are going to so much trouble to block DI Teague’s efforts to read the records of the investigation. Onwards!
~Madi
Broom Racing
Hell yes let’s interview Umbridge!! DAVE. DAAAVE. THIS IS SO GOOD!!! I love the tag teaming that DI Teague & Amelia Bones do against Umbridge to get her to a) admit she didn’t ever even look at the request, and b) did it because she’s such a petty toad who holds grudges from school well over into her adult life. Her incredibly rude comments towards DI Teague and his children would have made me very angry, but he’s trained so he is able to keep it together and move forward with attempting to arrest her for obstruction of justice and interfering with police work. That is just the sweet sound of justice being served to one of the worst characters (personality-wise, obviously) in HP that we don’t fully get in canon, and I’m so here for it.
~Madi
Broom Racing
Ooh it’s a letter from Amelia Bones! Susan’s aunt! How neat!! I love the little different ties you have to the canon characters and their timeline in this fic, because that just makes me even more excited for what’s to come. She is clearly very competent and good at her job, and also doesn’t like Dolores Umbridge (honestly, who even does???) and is willing to help DI Teague get the records he wants/needs, even if it means he would need to arrest Umbridge the muggle way. Which I think is HILARIOUS! Also we get a Frank Longbottom shout out too, ahhh this is great! Amelia is just *so* professional in her letter but there’s that underlying current of wanting to get back at Umbridge for being a nasty piece of work and I love that for her. Love it, as usual!
~Madi
Broom Racing
Dave! I really like these two cases you’ve involved Snape in -- they’re quite interesting, and the second one especially considering the date of that one. That one takes place earlier in the month prior to the death of James and Lily Potter, and I wonder if Rosier was trying to extract information out of Snape, if he knew that Snape still carried a flame for Lily, or something else occurred that caused their scuffle outside of where he lived in Cokeworth. OOh I love this tie-in with Scrimgeour as well as the Department Head for the Auror office at this time -- considering we know he becomes Minister of Magic after Fudge, I was always curious how he got that position (Thanks Harry for the limited POV in canon, boo). I wonder what thread DI Teague wants to pull on with that inspection of Rosier’s death concerning Snape. Very curious indeed!
~Madi
Broom Racing
I see you decided to change up the epistolary style for this chapter with it being an interview record rather than a letter or memo! I’m glad that you’re exploring different ways of writing this fic with epistolary in mind but really letting it take you where it wants. I do have to chuckle a bit at your character name for the detective sergeant - “Drinkwater” as a last name just reminded me to drink some water, but hey it’s a good character so I can’t fault you there. This Major Magwood guy, he seems like a decent fellow so I hope he doesn’t get more entangled in this than he already is by a piece of evidence belonging to him. Way to end with a cliffhanger about Severus Snape though, wow Dave! Also, I wonder why DS Drinkwater perked up at Snape’s name first over Teague, but I suppose that will be revealed in later chapters.
~Madi
Broom Racing
Heya I’m back! I’m really enjoying that a lot of your characters seem to have nicknames, like John Teague is “Jack”, Octavius Weasley is “Oggy”, and so on and so forth. It makes sense but a lot of times we don’t see it that often in fic, so it’s nice that you make your characters more human by having those nicknames. These memos back and forth between Inspector Teague and the crime lab’s forensic pathologist are basic and to the point, but they also convey a sense of a strong rapport between the men, that they don’t need a lot of words to communicate important information and can read into things when necessary. I liked the opening letter with Octavius Weasley, who is very old by this point going off of canon complaining about Umbridge complaining to him about Jack’s letter. Love the circular moment that gives. Onwards!
~Madi
Broom Racin
Hey Dave! I know I’ve reviewed the most recent chapter of this, but as I plan to podfic this whole fic for you (it’s really exciting, tbh) I figured I’d come back through and really dig into it more! This opening chapter and letter really sets the stage and the tone for how this fic will progress. I love your OC Jack Teague here, especially as he gives zero fucks about Dolores Umbridge (hell yeah, Jack!) and her “Ministry this, Fudge that” attitude about things. I’m also curious about that opening section before the letter -- will this book edition thing come back into play in future chapters, or perhaps will a descendant find this book at some point to really learn the history of their distant relative? Also I love that it’s a second edition book too, not just a first edition, because that means this case was popular to read about, and they had to do a second printing of the book! I love that Jack still signs off with propriety even though he swears at her so many times in the letter, it’s so fitting. *joy emoji* I love this opening!
~Madi
Broom Racing
Hey Dave! I’m here with 1/2 prize reviews from my Science Fiction Challenge!
I forgot where I was caught up to in terms of reading this fic, so I decided to just read through everything you’ve gotten posted so far! I absolutely love this drive and need to do good and figure out this case that Jack Teague has, and his bitter relationship with Umbridge. The fact you’ve even given her children makes me feel even more strongly about her character and how awful those children must be! :P I also like the touch of her being Fudge’s Junior Undersecretary right now, when she’s Senior Undersecretary come OotP. This connection of the dead reverend with the Potters, Snape, Sirius, and now Lupin is curious indeed. And what a cliffhanger at the end there, wow!! What is Snape up to? Who is he protecting? Who actually murdered the reverend? You leave me with so many questions, Dave! Great job on this fic so far :)
~Madi
Dave,
Hi, I'm here for the BvB.
First, I have to say how impressed I'm with this as an epistolary form. Usually, I can handle about one chapter of letters before I want to move on to narrative, but you have made each chapter unique with various characters and different types of written communication.
I love how you give us a tidbit of information in each chapter, so we are trying to put together the pieces just like Jack is--great method for a detective story but tricky to inact. Thus far, you've done a great job.
Now, this chapter and Dolores. Ugh, that Toad. She must feel very secure in her beliefs and her position in the military because she obviously doesn't care what she says to others. You've nailed her characterization. I can only hope, at some point in the story, she will have consequences for her petty actions.
Author's Response:Thanks so much Barbara,
It's a challenge in feed in all the clues and twists but it's very rewarding to see that people do enjoy it
I've got my coffee and I'm ready for more!
Oooh another piece to the puzzle! So the blood was created simply to be a part of the set-up (by magical means), and Talbot was killed by means of the Killing Curse. I'm staggeringly curious as to why someone was setting up the stage like this -- it's quite intricate and still yet simple enough to pull off. Furthermore, I'm still dying to know (haha?) to what purpose Talbot's death was and to whom. Hopefully they'll turn up some more information at Talbot's cottage to help them along.
Ahh so Remus Lupin is going to enter the picture. I get the sinking feeling that, with the prejudices surrounding werewolves are going to come into play since he's been found randomly hanging around. <.< I mean, I'm sure Jack will be able to sort things out but I also fear Umbridge. There is so much left to answer! Eeeeeeeeee!
Always glad to see a new chapter!
-Rumpels
Author's Response:Hi Rumpels!
I know I haven't responded to your other wonderful reviews which I have enjoyed reading immensely. I was always intending that the blood and beheading was a set up and the resolution of how Jack and the others cracked it was fun to create.
The purpose of Talbot's murder....can't tell you that!
Another clue will come from the Talbot cottage. Remus' appearance was always in the pipe-line, he will allow us to get a sense of both Jack's and Snape's backstories, yes sadly his werewolf status is one of the reasons he's around.
thanks for reading
Dave
O/
YES GET HER, JACK! She absolutely got in the way of the investigation by refusing him those documents -- there's a murderer out there and he must be caught. Here's hoping that Lucius Malfoy can't change that, anyway. That man is far too powerful for his own good (let alone anyone elses).
OH so Talbot would have known about Sirius. I still desperately need to know how Talbot and Snape are connected, and why Talbot was murdererd. Not to mention what happened with Rosier. There are so many mysteries to be unraveled!
Jack takes nobody's crap, you love to see it. Nothing is going to stand between Jack and his case and I absolutely love that!
I was super excited to see these two chapters -- they totally made my night!
-Rumpels
Hey!
Oh my gosh, I can't believe Fudge interjected here. AHHHH. I mean, it's probably safer for everyone involved to just leave Umbridge alone, but uggh it's so frustrating that she can just get away with whatever she wants. *dramatic eyeroll* Of course he's asked Lucius Malfoy to intervene on her behalf -- my gosh. If there was ever evidence that the Ministry was corrupt, this hold several significant factors. :P
Also, I'm happy to see an update! I'm going to run around on the next chapter!
-R
OH YES PLEASE -- A TRANSCRIPT WITH UMBRIDGE, I'M SO HERE FOR IT.
That does raise some rather valid concerns surrounding the Statute of Secrecy, doesn't it? At to raise that point a bit he is a half-blooded Muggle Liason working Muggle x Magical cases, I mean at some point in time I would suspect that collegues (especially those he works close with) would kinda, sorta figure out that something was different about Jack, eh? And it's totally not an excuse for Umbridge to be witholding records from him about Snape.
Though I do low-key want him to just turn up on Snape's doorstep. I'm in the mood for freaking firecrackers tonight. (You'll have to excuse me, I seem to be in for an all out Battle Royale -- and am totally blaming my medication.) On the other hand, I would love to see Snape dance the conga. Either is fine.
I, for one, would LOVE to know the whereabouts of Rosier's corpse, so maybe Dumbledore would too. SHE DIDN'T EVEN READ IT SHE JUST DENIED IT BECAUSE IT WAS FROM JACK -- MY HEART. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. JUST PUT HER AWAY, SHE'S REDICULOUS -- SOMEBODY ARREST THIS WITCH. ANd oof what a low blow @'ing his kids like that . Like, if my dad were anywhere near as cool as Jack I'd be #SuperFreakingProud. BUT HOT DAMN JUSTICE IS SERVED! I'm so happy she was charged. Even if they don't hold up, at least she was charged.
Let me know when this is updated so I can come back and scream some more. I'm dying to know things and I'm very sad to have run out of chapters. ;_;
-Rumpel
Ready, ready, ready, ready player one.
Oh my gosh, Umbridge continuously blocked his requests for information on Snape?! I'm furious! We need that information to continue the investigation, and YES absolutely arrest her PLEASE. I absolutely one-hundred-percent enjoy that this letter from Amelia Bones continues to support the fact that Umbridge is (in fact) a toad, and everyone hates her. I do also very much enjoy the little tidbits thrown in here and there, like how Frank and Jack managed to dupe her about Professor Bin's death :P (and oh my gosh, can we please just imagine what sorts of malarky Jack and Frank could've been up to while they were in Hogwarts -- I'm daydreaming head-canon, excuse me).
Ahhh I can't believe I'm almost out of chapters to read -- I may ugly sob openly. ONTO THE NEXT CHAPTER.
-R.
Coffeee time (with a bit of a break because my grandmother called to chat :) ).
Oooh so Snape was involved in a break-in as a teenager. Interesting. I wonder what that was about. I mean, he did become a Death Eater and all that so I suppose getting involved in more petty crimes isn't something of a surprise, but I'm super curious as to what it was all about. Was he after something? Just trying to impress those dudes he was with? BUT OH BOY THAT'S NOT EVEN THE CRAZY PART. Gah now I'm dying to know what happened to Rosier. Okay, so, yeah i'ts SUPER suspicious for the dude you'd been fighting earlier that day to wind up dead -- yikes. It certainly lands him in the spotlight during the current investigation, doesn't it?
*facepalm* BIG OOF. I wonder how Jack is going to take any information the Ministry is going to give him on Snape, what with everything going on. I'm super curious to see what Snape knows about what went on with Talbot's murder eeeeee. I'm also dying to see a Jack - Snape interaction because something about their two characters, especially if Jack will be interrogating Snape, makes me believe that things are about to get SPICY. LET'S FREAKING GO.
NEXT CHAPTER!
-R.
Oh heck, the coffee is started! Just in time for a transcript and I'm ready for it!
I'm almost completely convinced that Magwood had nothing to do with this based solely on the fact that he didn't want any sort of legal representation during the interview -- it just makes me feel as if he doesn't have anything to hide (unless that's just what he wants me to think o.o). Ugh, I love how distinct all the voices are in this, especially Jack's, but even the rest of them have their own specific quality to them that makes it easy to tell them apart.
Oh! So the break in and the murder were staged in order to set up Magwood?! Clever. I mean, obviously whoever did this didn't to the BEST of jobs, at least not while in comparison to Jack's detective skills. But, of course, now the real questions are why and who? Of course, then there's the matter of how Talbot really died and why he was targeted specifically. Was he just convenient in setting up Magwood or something more? I MUST KNOW.
Snape, Snape, Severus Snape!
Ohh, the plot thickens. But why would Snape kill someone he'd been getting visits from for eight years and at such a frequency. And why were the Reverend and Snape meeting to begin with. I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS TO BE ANSWERED.
Coffee's ready. Grabbing a cup and meeting you in the next chapter because I simply cannot wait.
-R
*cracks knuckles* Let's go!
I do deeply enjoy the fact that the person Umbridge used in order to attempt to mess with is in agreeance that she's actually a toad. Oggy seems pretty cool (though I may be biased due to mutual feelings for Umbridge). Ahh a murder investigation on an anniversary of the Potters' murders. DID Talbot have anything to do with them -- that IS the question, isn't it. I'm sevretly hoping so, and can't wait to untangle the web.
Oh snap, his heart had stopped prior to being decapitated, which means that the blood at the scene wasn't his. I wonder why the murderer was attempting to cover up Talbot's cause of death by decapitating him -- and WHOSE BLOOD IS THAT? I'm willing to venture that maybe it was the Killing Curse...or maybe it could have been some sort of poison. I love mysteries, but I'm also very bad at reading them because I'm incredibly impatient (which sort of makes it more fun). WAS THAT THE SWORD FOUND AT THE SCENE?
I must know. I must know everything.
Making coffee and heading to the next chapter.
-Rumpel
Hello! I have no idea where to start so I landed here.
Oh no I'm dying. I was immediately intrigued by the concept of writing to Dolres Umbridge, and I absolutely adore that Jack completely rips into her. What's more is I love that he referred to her as an over pomoted quill pusher. So, for having the moxy to volley insult and idignation back at Umbridge in response to (what I can only assume to be a rediculously condesending letter she sent under the guise of it being on someone else's behalf), I already am invested in Jack. He's got my vote.
So, you definitely deserve a huge kudos for being able to establish this huge personality of his in (first and foremost) such a small wordcount, but also for doing so by using a letter as a medium. Not only that, but you've also managed to slip in several facts about Jack here (like his job, how long he's been doing his job, and just what he thinks about people like Umbridge trying to tell him how to do his job).
Also, a beheading! I'm so here for this -- I'll meet you in the next chapter in a couple minutes!
Excellent start, I'm already invested.
-Rumpels
The final chapter (for now)!
We are back to some memos, but these are unquestionably more substantive in terms of actuallly moving the case forward. They've got a person of interest in the investigation into the Reverend's murder now and they're doing the requisite background on him before considering moving him to suspect status. While I'm not sure if there's any significance to the incident where Snape is fifteen, I will say the disposition is unique. While restitution is obviously a significant concern, I usually don't see restitution-only pre-charge dispositions for B&Es because of the underlying emotional and/or business security (and indirect costs) issues. So that's unique, but probably just my prosecutorial perspective. Of more interest I think is the clash between Snape and Rosier - and of course the fact that Rosier turns up dead. The time-frame is quite unique and likely draws on the Potter murders connection described in the first inter-agency chatter. The non-charge and mortuary theft is interesting in that case too. Was this an early double-agent move by Snape? Probably not because it's relatively obvious, but who knows.
I just want to comment in closing that I think you're doing a really good job building this story and immersing readers in the mystery even while keeping this is the investigative format and ditching reports for direct communications only. I hope that more will come of this story!
Thanks for sharing!
We meet once more!
Ahh! An interrogation transcript. I love a good interrogation transcript and this one was well-utilized in my opinion. First, we get the reveal that Teague is also magical or has magic in his line anyway. I'm getting the sense that he's a squib, which explains him being in muggle work and would add more reason for Umbridge's disdain for him given her belief in superiority of magic wielders specifically. Or maybe he's gone Cho Chang for some reason and renounced the magical world other than being a begruding as-needed connection between the Ministry and local law enforcement.
In any event, it's interesting that Drinkwater sort of hijacks the interrogation. I don't know if she's just inexperienced (thought not terribly likely given that she's a sergeant), tends toward the aggressive style, or something else, but Teague seems to have had a certain layout that she thwarts when she gets nothing out of the basic alibi questioning. That said, Teague's portion of the conversation with Magwood is interesting itself for several reasons. One, Magwood knows that Teague is of magical heritage. If Drinkwater doesn't know already that seems like it poses some Statute of Secrecy issues both on her level and raises an open question as to how and why Magwood knows about Teague.
Then we get the Snape reveal. I'm very much interested to see that connection between he and the Reverend explored.
See you in Chapter Four!
Howdy again!
The plot is thickening quickly, but I love that it starts with that inter-agency dynamic I was talking about - Umbridge getting salty right back and going over Teague's head. So typical in inter-agency squabbles in law enforcement and even more typical of Umbridge as we've seen through canon with her Ministry versus Hogwarts/Ministry versus Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore, et al. conduct.
The interaction between the other memos is what really intrigues me! The Potter murders are obviously referenced which seems to establish a potential link between them and the Reverend's murder - a connection which seems reinforced by the later remark about cause of death and the blood not being the Reverend's. Sounds like the Killing Curse if I've ever heard of it. And then somebody trying to cover it up by making the murder look muggle-style. This is obviously going to draw some serious need for liaising between the muggle investigators and the Ministry given the indicators and I'm interested to see how well that works going forward. Hopefully they'll get past the squabbling for the greater good, but we all know how that turns out sometimes.
See you in Chapter Three!
Howdy!
I wasn't the hugest fan of epistolaries before this (and another) challenge and I am enjoying the start to yours here. Yours is set apart from the others I've read by the length of the communications which I think is more realistic in a situation like this. You obviously resisted the urge to have this one be a formal inter-agency communique via a police report or some-such thing. I think this especially works here because while it's obviously tied to a specific investigation, this is much more personal - kind of like an e-mail - which allows to Teague to express in no uncertain terms his disdain for Umbridge.
I am interested to see how the inter-agency dynamic continues to play out as the story progresses, especially since it's not only inter-agency, but inter-cultural in terms of magic versus muggle. We get the idea from this letter than Teague is something of a firebrand who's not necessarily a fan of working too directly under authority and is potentially territorial, though that's not one hundred percent clear yet.
See you in the next chapter!
I really like how this is developing, and the different forms of records and correspondence you're using to flesh it out. It's nice to watch the mystery unfold from the perspective of the investigator and his colleagues and professional contacts. I'm more than a little amused at the thought of teen Snape being involved in a break-in at an off-license. The whole thing with Rosier's death is very interesting, considering it happened less than a month before the attack on the Potters, and I'm interested to see what Snape's involvement has been in the current murder case.
Melanie
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