Name: Noelle Zingarella (Signed) · Date: 25 Oct 2019 12:43 AM · For: Chapter 1

Hi Barbara! I’m here for prize review number seven. :D

 

 

Once again, you’ve got a great concept here—the folks who keep getting cursed, and then the one clever girl who doesn’t. And I love the tongue-in-cheek tone you use to narrate the story. You’ve done a lovely job creating a fairy-tale-esque voice for the narrator, and I love all the little jabs at the three brothers that start off this tale. I was snorting the whole way through the first part, what with the brothers knowing everything, and how they should have listened to their mother, and their difficulties with reading. But they should have read all the directions before they opened the box! I suspect they would have done poorly in school…

 

But those poor young men! I mean, they shouldn’t have opened the box that said DO NOT OPEN, but what a price to pay. I’m glad that they still have each other, and that their mother got rid of the box and didn’t open it yet again.

 

Your poem describing the curses was nicely done and I’m eager to find out how these curses will afflict the other unfortunate souls they meet.

 

Ellwood and Miles fare much better than the three brothers—although I wonder why they kept opening the box after they defeated the first three curses. I’m glad that Miles was able to save Ellwood and that Ellwood was able to make the best of the remnants of the curse. The bit about all the girls wanting to snuggle him in the summer made me laugh, although it’s too bad he’s all alone in the winter. 

 

Iquiam’s story was the funniest of them all! When I read that the “parts would shrink” I wasn’t sure if it would be those parts, but indeed they were. It was just too funny. I love that he’s a singer and then is blessed with a beautiful soprano voice and gets to travel the world. So I guess it worked out okay for him in the end? Male sopranos make lots of money, you know. I love that you went there, and my favorite part of this section was how you said that you weren’t going to describe the process of Iquiam’s parts shrinking, and then you did so hilariously.

 

It looks like even the curse breakers are having trouble with this box, as Rafe Thomas winds up dangling over the edge of a cliff and has to be saved by Muggles. And, is this the meeting of Dean Thomas’s parents?? What a fun moment! I’m glad he managed to escape dying and that Delly was there to bring him back from the brink. He fared much better than John, who apparently died so quickly that he only gets a limerick. (Which I love, by the way).

 

Hula and the final story are a delight! I love that she thinks outside the box and is able to figure out the answer. And I love that she’s high energy and has lots of accidental magic and nobody wants to baby-sit her—except for one special lady who understands how special Hula is. Too bad her mom doesn’t seem to get her. Having Hula talk back to the seductive voice of the box and tell it that she was NOT going to open it was so simple and perfect. And I love that she figured out how to break the curse in the end. She’ll be a curse breaker for sure.

 

Also, your descriptions of the vault were really vivid and chilling—while still maintaining the humorous tone of the whole piece.

 

I really enjoyed this story! Nice work and thank you for entering my challenge!

 

Yours,

Noelle

 

 

 

Author's Response:

Thank you, Noelle. This originally started only as one curse. The story of Rafe Thomas and was for the Back from the Brink Writing Challenge, Then Beth reviewed it and said she went back looking for other people who tried to open the box, it got me thinking.  The posting of the 5 plus 1 challenge solidified my idea and here we are! 

Name: lostrobin (Signed) · Date: 05 Oct 2019 12:17 AM · For: Chapter 1

Hi!

This was a very interesting story, and I enjoyed every second of reading it. I think Rafe was the luckiest of the cursed people, I think, and I hope he and Delly had a lovely life. The only thing I was a little confused on was how the chest went from Rafe to John, but I like how it tended to be the inheritance from uncles. I loved the ending, especially how she figured out the depressions. I am curious what's in the chest, but I like that we never find out. After all, we didn't break the curse like Hula.

-A

Author's Response:

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Rafe never actually owned the chest. He was a curse breaker working for Gringotts. Either John or his predecessor owned the chest at the time.