Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 24 Jul 2020 03:56 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hey, Juls! I'm here for our swap! :D

I was undecided about what to pick, then I thought that I should've read more in this universe you created, so here I am! I hope it's alright! ;)

Severus' nervousness before knocking at Albus' door... I think it's so relatable, which ex student wouldn't feel a bit of nervousness knocking at the door of their previous headmaster? Especially if that headmaster is Albus Dumbledore? And I guess Severus is even more nervous because of the reason he's gone to see Dumbledore in the first place... it must not be easy to expose himself like that, especially for Severus who's so reserved and wary in general.

And I think the progression of the memories was intriguing and so well done! From the infamous Mudblood incident (although it had a slight different flavour from canon, but that's okay... after all, this is an AU for a reason), to Narcissa introducing him in the Death Eater circle, to the eavesdropping of the prophecy, to the actual initiation... can I just say how scary that last scene was? I hate the idea of the Cruciatus rite of passage, even if it makes a bit too much sense (it's my headcanon too). And the vindictive pleasure Lucius felt when he Crucioed him as well... so creepy! Did I mention I hate Lucius Malfoy? Because I do! A lot!

Now that I think about it, the first encounter with Voldemort was so scary and creepy as well! The way Nagini enveloped Severus in her spires... urgh... and the mention of Eileen!!! I didn't think much of that, I thought it had actually been Tobias who killed her, but when you revealed at the end how she truly died... well, that takes a completely different meaning. And I hate it. And it makes me so sad. :(

I can't say that I don't blame Severus for his choices, but I do feel bad for him. I mean, he was obviously manipulated, and he turned to the bright side once he realized it, so that counts for something, I guess?

This was a really interesting and well written one-shot! Thank you so much for the swap! <3

Snowball hug,

Chiara

Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 21 Jun 2020 06:23 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hi! I’m here for the 2020 House Cup Finale.

Clever use of pensieves to create flashbacks. The first one was of no surprise (and I’m sure he wishes that he could obliviate himself of it.) I like how we get little hints in each memory like when Voldemort admits that he knew Eileen and his father was blamed for his mother’s murder. I also like the graduation from lemon drops to “dutch courage” whiskey. It helps us realize that this isn’t just a walk down  memory lane, but Snape might come across something that he doesn’t truly want to know.

The ending was quite a shock for me. When Severus made the connection between Riddle and mom’s murder. Then the reason he actually murdered her--shocking reason, but then, again, this is Voldemort, so maybe so. There is no doubt, however, we can see two solid reasons why Snape defected. 

 

Great job!

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 02 Oct 2019 04:22 AM · For: Chapter 1

Hi Juls,

Isn't it nice to have the EvS Review Tag running for October, so that we get the impetus to read each other's excellent spooky stories?

I like this story, so let me be the first to give you a review.  Your characterization of a 21-year-old Snape is well done.  You show him as still young, shaken, not completely sure of himself, not yet the hardened man that we meet ten years later when Harry enters Hogwarts, afte living the life of a double agent for ten years.

You capture the voices of Albus and Severus well.  And I like your choice of the four vignettes that Snape shares with Dumbledore.  Two are very familiar, though retold in a skillful way, and two are less familiar as regards their details, but they are also events that we know did happen, so they are well-imagined by you and carefully desccribed.

The final section of your story was a surprising twist -- that Tom Riddle had murdered Eilleen Prince to prevent her revealing that Lord Voldemort was really Tom Riddle the Halfblood.  Well, it sounds like just the sort of thing he would do.

And it give Severus another reason to turn against Lord Voldemort -- that he had murdered the two people, Lily and Eileen, that Severus had loved.  I think he did love his mother (although his father was a jerk), and the ripping up of the picture tells us that.

And the business of the diary being recently found in a box in the attic does not seem contrived at all.  After all, we all have boxes of forgotten contents in our attics or basements, and every once in a while we open one up. :)

A nice job.  I very much enjoyed reading this story.  Familiar characters, but there's always something new to say about them.

Vicki