Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 15 Dec 2017 09:53 PM · For: Balls bounce.

Hey!

 

I love the thoughtful feel of this--to draw a direct comparison between the style of this versus 'Stroke', this is the complete opposite stylistic approach and I think that's it's really awesome that you've been able to accomplish both of these styles. While 'Stroke' was full of short and punchy sentences, the more natural, flowing sentences of this one gives it an entirely new feel. And I love how the thoughtfullness really carries through the story in both mood and tone--it's nearly nostalgic the way she watches the courts, wondering what is to come. I'm also really glad that you threw in some of the court descriptions because I'm still a little at unfamiliar with netball, and also, the way it's thrown in there, it definitely feels like the main character is well-versed with these courts (like she could draw them blindfolded). I also love how netball is drawing all of these different personality types together in the hopes of making the netball squad. 

 

Wonderful job!

 

-Rumpels

Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 04 Dec 2017 12:39 AM · For: Balls bounce.

Omg this was the FIRST OF that you posted? Wow, that’s awesome! I’m really glad that you pushed yourself and posted this, because it’s obviously paved the way for you to write and post many more great things!

 

Uh oh. Sports. I know nothing about sports. What is control? Maybe I should go back to the really painful stories, anything if not sports! XD

 

Like, you’re talking about the lines on the courts with such wonderful detail, but here I am not having any clue what they mean XD I’m going to guess it’s a basketball court, because of the word bounce. Other balls sports probably have bouncey balls too? I have no idea.

 

A shot at the team! That sounds like a basketball pun!

 

I find it interesting how you describe all the different types of people coming to try out and things that seperate them, while they are all trying to get on a team that would blend them together.

 

Netball, eh?

 

Nice job!

 

Sam.

Name: abhorsen (Signed) · Date: 01 Dec 2016 07:49 PM · For: Balls bounce.

Niiiice. I like the athletic theme that's running through several of your entries - as someone who's always liked sports and spent a lot of time playing them as a kid, it really speaks to me. My only complaint is that I wish they were longer! <3

Author's Response:

Noice! *makes obscure reference to Laura Marano and hopes you get it*

Sports has always been a big part in my life. I swim twice a week all year round, and play netball in winter as well as do school sport so it's something that I can't forget, and being active is something that is far from foreign to me.

As for longer stories, I'm working on a long netball story that tells the events of a young girl's netball season.

Thanks for reviewing!

Hayden,

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Name: PaulaTheProkaryote (Signed) · Date: 21 Nov 2016 11:54 AM · For: Balls bounce.

Y'know, before I knew you, I had never heard of netball. It feels like the tryouts have this almost heavy sense of finality with it being her last year as the captain of the under 16s, but then bigger and better things will come, right? RIGHT? Yes. It really starts out slow and peaceful and there's this over all feeling of just contemplation and ease. Then we have the nervous enegy of soon coming arrival. I just think you wrote this very nicely balanced out.

Author's Response:

So many Americans (yes Im sorry for my stereotyping) have no idea about netball! *cries* at least I've shown you the light.

 

Try-outs/grading day (as it can be called) definitely have a sense of finality for all actually, in that based on what your performance is on the day, you're either in the top squads, or you're not. The pressure every year is huge. My grading day for my club team is this coming Sunday, and it's mounting for sure.

Bigger and better things always come! (mostly)

 

Thank you so much for reviewing B2!

Hayden

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Name: Diogenissa (Signed) · Date: 16 Nov 2016 08:18 PM · For: Balls bounce.

Heylloooo lovely darling! 😊

I thought that I should really get back to reviewing ,which makes yours my very first here on the HPFT archives! :D

What I  loved the most about this is your description of everything -- it really helps those such as myself for instance who are unfamiliar with the game to -really- get a feel for what it looks like.  I had no problem visualizing it and felt like I was this young lady watching the sunrise, alone but yet full of anticipation for the coming day.

You did a fantastic job with this and I hope to see more netball stories.  Awesome stuff hon and good luck in the challenge! <3

Love, Karen 

 

Author's Response:

Heeeeyyyyyyyyyy Karen!

I'm blessed that this is your first review on HPFT's archives! <3

Thank you! Netball is often considered to be very similar to Basketball, and I tried to break that common view by showing that it can be quite simpler, though as a long-time player/umpire I know it is not. I have often sat on the steps of Control at my own local courts and watched the sunrise before warming up, it's a beautiful thing to watch and really prepares you for the day ahead.

There are definitely more netball/sports stories coming! Particularly netball and swimming, as I have better knowledge of them. Thank you and I wish you all the best with your own entry/ies if you enter! <3

Thank you for reviewing,

Hayden

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