Name: ReillyJade (Signed) · Date: 16 Jul 2019 02:03 AM · For: everything ponders in the night

Hi, Joey! I'm stopping by for the HC Final! :)

 

I think this was a great exploration of the love and support between two brothers. Here are George and Ron, having not spoken for half a decade for some reason, but the moment George's life is in shambles, Ron is there for him. It's a lovely illustration of the strength of their relationship, despite it being strained for a few years.

 

I noticed in your author's note that your characters and first/last lines were assigned. I think you made a really intriguing choice in choosing George to say that first line rather than Ron. With the exception of stories about Fred's death, I rarely see George depicted in fics as melancholy; rather, he's always confident, carefree, and wielding a strong moral compass. Therefore, I though this was a really unique take on his character. Showing George as the one with the broken marriage, inner demons (for something other than Fred), and being unsatisfied with parts of who he is was a very interesting change of pace.

 

Something I really appreciated about this fic is that you didn't bother diving into things that weren't important to the core of the story. For one, you tell us who George is talking about; all you say is "her." I would assume it's Angelina, but there's nothing that states this follow canon, so it could be anyone. Either way, it really doesn't matter. You also never tell us exactly what Ron and George fought about that cause their strain in their relationship. Again, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter who George was married to or what he fought about Ron with, at least not in the context of this story. The point is to explore George's pain and the repairing of a brotherly bond, and by omitting those details, you allowed your narrative to focus solely on that. I think that was an excellent choice. I know many authors (myself included) would have been more explicit in those details, but sometimes it's what's not included in a story that makes it more powerful.

 

You did an excellent job with this! Well done! 

 

Cheers,

Reilly

Name: Lacey Black (Signed) · Date: 13 Jun 2019 06:03 PM · For: everything ponders in the night

Hey Joey! 

Im here to leave you a review for entering the contest!

i really enjoyed reading this story! I feel like you cast a really interesting light on George and we’re able to show how the tribulations that he has gone through in his life thus far have greatly influenced him, his life and his relationships with those he loves. He seems so broken, and so decided on being alone and not bringing people down with him.  I think you personified Ron perfectly here.  The way that he cares so much for his family, but how he could easily over look things and even people when he himself is going through things. And though Ron and George have obviously grown apart over the years, Ron even as thick as he can be loves him and came to him in his time of need, realizing he had to help his brother. 

You connected the pieces of the story that you were given very well, andhank you for giving me the honour of being able to read more great works by you!

Good job!

xo