Name: Rhaenyra (Signed) · Date: 16 Aug 2019 08:09 PM · For: Chapter 1

I'm not sure sure why I was expecting this to be from Lily or James's perspective, but Lily's friend will work. I'm looking forward to learning more about her as the story progresses. Clearly she has two relatively wealthy magical parents, based on them running Camp Merlin. At the moment I'm thinking that they were former hippies or part of the counter-culture movement in the 1960s, based on the names they've given their daughters. (Magnolia and Meadow seem like hippie names to me.) They also seem odd enough to be things that a witch and wizard would pick, since we see a lot of other less-common names among witches and wizards. Her parents also seem like they may have had a surprise pregnancy along the way, either Magnolia when they were super young or now Meadow when they're around 40 with a 16 year age gap between the two.

 

Speaking of names, I think Hadrian Fletchley also works! It's a nice nod to Justin from Harry's year. I'm going to go with the head canon that he is Justin's uncle for the time being. "Hadrian" is also super different than the (presumably Muggle) "Billy" who works across the street from Lily.

 

There are a handful of questions I have at this point, which I expect will be answered at some point over the rest of the story. First of all, why does Magnolia not like Sirius? He seems like he would have some similarities to James but she likes James. Is it just that they have bonded over Lily? That they have known each other since childhood (given the fact that her parents are against Orion and Walburga, maybe they'd be familiar with the Potters but have better opinions of non-racists)? Something to do with Quidditch or Transfiguration? I'm hoping there is a cool story there so it isn't TOO similar to the whole Lily/James thing. Although given the fact that they apparently kissed at least once, maybe there is a more recent issue specifically with Sirius.

 

The fact that there is an entire camp for witch and wizard kids makes me curious about the impact the war had. Maybe we really did lose a lot of people in the First Wizarding War. :( Knowing that is going along in the background is a sharp contrast to the tone of this. I'm liking the fact that there's a sort of teenage romance, summer fling, possibly comedic thing.

 

There is still a lot of ways this could go, but there is definitely potential. I would look over it again to tweak some of the weird formatting and extra punctuation, but that should be fast.

 

I'm interested to see where you go with this. :)

Author's Response:

Thank you for your review! :)