Name: WriteYourHeartOut (Signed) · Date: 07 Feb 2024 05:08 AM · For: I don't smoke

I really enjoyed this. I remember your writing from back on HPFF and was always so impressed by it, and also very happy that someone with your talent was such an avid WolfStar writer. It feels no different reading your writing here today.

 

You have such a hold on your versions of Remus and Sirius, and they both always feel so authentic. I think what you excel at most is putting that edge on Sirius, that wall he has up because of the way he was raised and the family life he had, and you know how to walk that line of damage between wanting to move on from it, and knowing he may never. I think between the two of them, the "happy ending" idea probably does sound far-fetched and unrealistic, but I like that Remus still - despite everything he has been through himself - can hold onto the hope of. And that bit of hope bleeds into Sirius at the end. I think that's as much as Sirius can take at one time - like he's desperate for all of that love really, but he doesn't know how to take it all at once, it has to be spoon-fed to him, or he'll just close up.

 

Anyway, this was beautifully done, I'm glad I stopped by.

Name: maraudertimes (Signed) · Date: 29 Apr 2020 09:28 PM · For: I don't smoke

Hello!!!!! I am here for the RvG POGs special!

This was a really bittersweet story - bitter because of the build up made me worry, sweet because the ending made me happy! I think you captured both of their personalities so well, from the start to the finish!

Remus’ aversion to large crowds is dead on - though I would’ve liked to know what party they’re at. And his ‘sense of wrongness’ as you put it rings too true after graduating and feeling like you should still be back where you used to be. I thought those were two small but very useful details! Also when he immediately knows the moon’s phase it really brought me back to “ah, yes, this poor young man is a werewolf.

And Sirius! He was amazing, of course with his leather jacket and cigarette. I think Remus lying about smoking was cute (I mean, it’s the title!), but what really got to me was the line “because he’ll take whatever Sirius will give him”, because it was so raw and really demonstrated how infatuated Remus is.

AND THE KISS! It was perfect. I loved that it took a second for Sirius to reciprocate, and then he did and they go home together! Perfect!

Of course the happiness had to be shattered by the aftermath of it all (I blame men for being terrible communicators). Remus taking the cigarette is a very subtle parallel to the earlier, public scene, vs here in private with just Sirius. Again, though, it’s the title, I shouldn’t be so surprised!

Their talk was very difficult to read (although that’s because it’s a difficult conversation and I’m an awkward person). But you continued to show their personalities, with Remus shutting down and not saying anything while Sirius keeps talking in the silence. It was the same as the start of the story and I enjoyed the parallel. So many parallels!!

The ending was very sweet, and I liked that Remus stood up for himself and managed to make a joke out of it - because what’s the use of coming from a bad situation if you can’t laugh about it? And it was just a really really sweet ending.

So thank you for writing this so that I could read it!

 

Lo <3

Name: down-in-flames (Signed) · Date: 15 Dec 2019 05:42 AM · For: I don't smoke

hiiiii i’m finally here with your final challenge prize review!! (only took me, what, like three months to finish them all? that’s actually so sad why am i so bad at reviewing sos)

 

anyways, i felt like i’d reviewed this fic before but apparently i hadn’t, so i’m here now to rectify that. (i think i judged it for the collab then? idk, i just know i’ve been here before lol) anyways, i really love messy relationship dynamics and that is more or less exactly what this fic is, and i love it. there’s just so much worth unpacking in all these characters - sirius especially. it’s kind of fascinating, the mindset you’ve given him in this. he’s just resigned to the idea that he doesn’t deserve any sort of happy ending and that he’s never going to get it - he doesn’t even want to consider that things could go anything other than horribly for him. and then the fact that he’s so convinced he’ll hurt remus; there’s clearly a lot of internalized self-loathing that’s brought him to this point.

 

and then there’s remus, who is also such an interesting character in this. the way that he’s just… resigned to his fate as well, but in a different way. the fact that he knows he’ll take whatever he can get from sirius, even though he knows he wants more, is a different kind of ‘i’ve internalized this idea of what i think i deserve’ and the two of them are kind of similar in that regard. but i also really love that remus eventually decided to say something, and i particularly loved his response of “is that so ridiculous?” - i think that speaks a lot to the different depths to which they’ve accepted their own fates; sirius is much less capable of accepting that he can have something good - that he’s *deserving* of something good - whereas remus, at the very least, has at least some hope that they could be something more than just mindlessly casual.

 

the dynamics in all of this are just so good and i love the way that it ends - not a perfect happy ending, but a step in that direction. 

 

-taylor

Name: Noelle Zingarella (Signed) · Date: 17 Nov 2019 01:17 AM · For: I don't smoke

Hi Kayla! I’m here for your second prize review :D

 

“Remus is an affliction, a miserable indulgence that Sirius seems helpless to avoid, like his cigarettes, and drinking too much, and the way he throws himself headlong into every danger that comes his way. He gives Sirius as much as he can take, and would give him more if he asked for it.”

 

This paragraph here struck me so much that I had to start this review with it. I really enjoy your prose—it’s witty and quick and engaging. And you have such a good handle on Sirius and Remus as characters. This paragraph captures Remus’s self-loathing and Sirius’s self-destruction in a brutal sort of honesty. 

 

The story starts off with that brutal honesty—because Sirius and Remus are sort of together and sort of not. And they’re both pretending like nothing is going on, even though it is. They’re both afraid to talk about what they want for fear of rejection because, as Sirius says, they aren’t the sort of people who get happy endings. Sirius’s bitter reflection on his prediction of his future destiny is chillingly close to the truth—even if his stint in prison is because he was trying to avenge his friends and not for some fouler reason. 

 

Sirius treats Remus so brutally too throughout the story and I think that any guy with more self-worth than Remus wouldn’t put up with it. But Remus is good at seeing beneath the surface and, just when he is ready to write this whole thing off as a bad job, he realizes that Sirius is sad under his anger. And Remus is brave enough to take that risk and say—sort of—what he wants. And then he manages to talk Sirius into putting his fears aside. 

 

Maybe it’s not a perfect conversation or a perfect relationship—but it’s a start. 

 

A well-written story in your element :D

 

Yours,

Noelle

Name: newsbypostcard (Signed) · Date: 29 Sep 2019 05:16 AM · For: I don't smoke

Oh my gosh, I loved this so much. So many lines in this hit like an impact: when Remus kisses him, "They have not talked about it"—it all flows so well, you really get that sense of yearning and mounting tension as you read. Remus just standing beside Sirius while he smokes—WOW! I have been searching for this feeling about this pairing and you delivered it wonderfully, where everything's on edge and desperate and they're helpless for each other all the same. Both characters are so well developed in their voices, I'm in awe. I'm so glad you stepped out of your comfort (or just usual?) zone for this. I loved reading it and look forward to reading more of your work. Thank you!

Name: Unwritten Curse (Signed) · Date: 06 Aug 2019 03:46 AM · For: I don't smoke

Okay, so I actually read this a couple of months ago and I never left you a review because this is literally all I could say:

 

This is my favorite thing you've ever written.

 

And that seems silly because it's such a... simple piece? I hesitate to call it simple because it is so damn complex emotionally. I hope you know what I mean because I really can't express my thoughts, hence why I didn't leave a review in the first place. *hides*

 

IT'S JUST... The way everything they say has a deeper meaning, and how casually they can skirt around their feelings, as if everything is okay, but it's not okay and this means something and GUH. And when they do finally talk, the conversation feels so authentic, like nothing is forced, and the ending is this open-ended, things-are-sort-of-resolved-but-not-really thing and it makes me want to break things because I have so many emotions. (I mean that in the best way.)

 

Okay, just wanted to tell you that.

 

-- Gina

Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 19 Jun 2019 12:10 AM · For: I don't smoke

Here for the sixth of your prize reviews. <3

 

God I love all of your Wolfstar writing. You are so versatile in your styles, like Of Bookshelves and Baby Carriers was so fluffy and warm and romantic and soft, and this story is just thick with tension and suppressed emotions and bitterness and resentment. You’re so talented, being able to go from one mood to another so seemingly effortlessly. And I feel like you’re equally great writing both, which is so impressive.

 

I can sort of understand Remus’s weird sense of displacement after graduating from Hogwarts; I’ve found myself wondering how it will feel graduating college after I’ve spent all my life in school. And it’s much worse for Remus because his after-school option was really just the war.

 

It must feel terrible to be sleeping with someone and have them not acknowledge it at all, ever. I’m glad that Remus confronts Sirius about it in this story, because keeping his feelings swallowed probably isn’t the most healthy state to be in. That bit of dialogue at the end was so good, though, like we could see the vulnerabilities from both characters in their voices, and I loved it.

 

My favorite exchange was this one, when Sirius says, “So what do you want? Some kind of... of happily ever after, or something?" and Remus responds with a tentative "Is that so ridiculous?" It’s just so good. Sirius is automatically pessimistic about where this relationship can go, while Remus still has hope. And the most heartbreaking line is probably when Sirius says this: “We just get - quick nameless fucks in cottages, maybe a short stint in prison, and then we die of liver failure.” It’s just heartbreaking how he’s internalized this ‘never a happily-ever-after’ type idea.

 

And the fact that they managed to get through this conversation and break down some of the emotional barriers? Beautiful. I loved this. <3

 

Love,

Eva

Name: Lacey Black (Signed) · Date: 08 May 2019 07:42 PM · For: I don't smoke

Hey there I am here just because I want to read this :)

Excuse me while I Fan Girl scream....

Okay I’m back.

I think the way you wrote this is just amazing. Remus tentative yet strong, Sirius over dramatic about being unable to be with someone because “people like them” don’t get happily ever afters they just “die of liver failure” *snort*

That first kiss was so hot and the nervousness that Remus had until Sirius melted into it was just so sweet. You definitely depicted that steamy moment very well!  

The way Sirius pulls away after and has such a distant and emotionless disconnect to Remus after they had sex was really sad.  Like Sirius truly doesn’t see how deserving he is of love and sweetness, not only that but he can’t see how that causes pain for Remus too. Someone he loves and cares for even if only as a best friend.  If shows that When you deny yourself love you are not just denying yourself you are also denying the person who loves you and deserves your love in return. Oh my heart <3

I am so happy that in the end they were at least able to find a way to talk about it, even if they haven't quite grasped where they stand, at least they are acknowledging that they are more then just casual sex buddies. 

Great story! Looking forward to more Wolfstar from you!

Xo

LB