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KAYLA I AM HERE WITH THE FIRST OF YOUR PRIZE REVIEWS. I HAVE HEARD A LOT ABOUT YOUR IAIN-VERSE AND AM THEREFORE EXTREMELY EXCITED TO GET STARTED.
You have such a gift with one-shots -- there’s an arc that comes with them, where something really changes from beginning to end, and even if it’s subtle it’s important. And Sirius goes through a pretty serious arc. It made me feel almost a little sick knowing he was so ashamed of himself, when there’s nothing to be ashamed of! I do like how you imply that Hogwarts isn’t any more progressive or open than the Muggle world, that the gay kids still had to hide at Hogwarts many decades ago. It’s kind of thought-provoking, actually; why do so many writers/readers just sort of automatically assume that the magical world would be more accepting?
I LOVE IAIN. He seems so chill and understanding, and Sirius’s complete awkwardness/internal panic around him is super endearing. I love that they met in a Muggle gay bar! I love that Sirius was so drawn to Iain immediately!!! Also, I don’t know who your faceclaim is for Iain, but he is very easy on the eyes. :P
It’s so fascinating, Sirius’s progression from feeling shame to feeling just pure affection! I feel like that sort of feeling captures a lot of us when we initially try out new things, especially physical things in a new relationship, but then it does fade. Because there’s really nothing wrong with Sirius being with Iain, so I’m really glad he’s experiencing the healthy emotions that come with liking someone, rather than just hating himself all the time. :(
SIRIUS STUMBLING OVER HIMSELF TO INVITE IAIN TO BREAKFAST IS THE MOST PRECIOUS. Oh, I love him. I love how far he came in such a short one-shot. :’)
This was wonderful and fabulous, thank you so much for writing! <3
Love,
Eva
kaylaaa, i'm back for another swap! i've been low key creeping on this series for a bit (and following along on twitter for sure) so i'm very excited to have the chance to drop a review on them!
anyway, you basically do the masterclass on writing sirius black and this is no exception! you do such a great job at showing sirius and all kinds of emotional turmoil. it's absolutely incredible how you manage to bring all these emotions to light and to make them so vivid.
you build this up really well too! from starting when sirius is young and knowing that he's not attracted to women and then to how he starts to work through that, you manage to really show the growth he goes through.
and yet by the time sirius and iain meet, he still has so many things to work through, but that he starts thinking about even wanting to work through them is incredible. iain is so confident with himself, so okay with everything that sirius is totally not okay with; i think it's good for sirius to even see that! i love these last few scenes. iain being totally cool with him staying and asking about breakfast-all causal and normal about things that totally are and sirius in a straight up panic about it! i loved the ending, when he finally got his shit together and tracked iain down (and got called out for creeping lolll) and returned the invite to breakfast! first of all, because i love when things come full ciricle. and second, because it was freaking cute to see this all come together! i'm already excited to see what happens in the next fic! great work!
-sarah
Kayla! I hope you had a great holiday season and here is a gift for you <3
Ooh that is one interesting way to spend your first kiss, Sirius. Listening for people passing by. But that might also have to do with the fact that it was a lot harder back in the day to do things like this, more hiding and stuff. I am feeling sorry for Sirius though, that he hates himself for it, and that he wanted to be fixed. Like nothing’s wrong with him so I’m just sad he feels that way.
I want to hug him even more. Sure it’s easier to think about how life’d be with a woman, but it shouldn’t be easier, bc it shouldn’t matter with who you are and it should be as easy to see how it’d be to be with someone of the same gender or whatever. And then to think that it just makes him want to panic just… I feel so sorry
I want to hug him so so bad
there would be enough people who’d want you for more than one night i swear
Come on sirius, give in, like it might not be the best idea bc you don’t know him but damn you deserve to be happy and feel happy especially when everything around you goes to shit
Kayla you’re going to make me cry i swear
you should definitely not feel ashamed, sirius, but i can get that it’s weird when it suddenly doesn’t feel like shame anymore
YAS HE GOES UP AND IAIN GOES FOR IT AND THEYRE GOING FOR BREAKFAST YAY! I’m so happy oh my god i need to read more of this please let me know when there’s more of this because i need this thank you
Hey, Kayla, darling! I'm here or your wishlist! Happy holidays!!! <3 <3 <3
Ah, Sirius... poor, sweet, silly Sirius... can I give him a hug? Just quickly? (I suppose he'd prefer to be hugged by someone else, but just, you know...)
I can sympathize with him... so, so, so well... I mean, not exactly, but that feeling of loneliness, of wishing to have someone to share your life with... It's just so much easier to imagine what life would be like with a woman - not sex, a life. They'd probably go on romantic dates, get married, buy a house with a white picket fence and have children. And He wants to be loved. He also, in a vague sort of way, wouldn't mind loving someone in return. I can feel these things so much... probably not for the same reasons, but they are very familiar feelings and I think you described them brilliantly... you've always been an amazing writer, and no one can capture Sirius' feelings better than you do!
The encounter with Iain was just lovely! I mean, I wish the circumstances of Sirius' life hadn't been so tragic (the war must've been wearing him off so much, it's horrible what they all had to go through...) and I wish he wouldn't be so convinced that he doesn't deserve an actual relationship... although I suppose I can understand why he feels the way he does... but, homestly, Sirius! Give yourself a chance!
Anyway, I loved how they immediately connected and how good Sirius felt with him... even if he decided that he couldn't risk for it to go further than just that one night... :/
The way he kept thinking of him in the next days and how eventually it became pleasant, a pleasant, ticklish sort of warmth that he might call fondness... ah, I love it! (And I love that line you used, it's brilliant!) I love that he eventually works out the courage to go seek Iain out! (So very Gryfindor-ish! So very Sirius! <3)
The ending just had me smile! I love that this ended in a (sort of) happy way! Happy endings are too rare on your AP, just saying... you should give me more of those... :P
This was such a brilliant, heartwarming story! Your writing is beautiful as always and your Sirius is just the best! And Iain is such a great OC and the perfect match for our lovely Padfoot! I love this so much! <3
Happy holidays again, sweety!
Lots of love and snowball hug,
Chiara
I just read Crushed Little Stars, so I'm not going to lie to you, I squealed a little bit when Iain appeared :P I really like him, and the fact that he and Sirius are a duo in their own series, I'm really invested in their relationship now, and I really, really hope you write more of them!
I really enjoyed this story! I loved the "he wasn't Gryffindor for nothing" because I really appreciate that as hard as his development is, and as loud as his insecurities are, he still tries, and that's what's so admirable! I'm glad it paid off, but I already knew it would, since I kind of spoiled it for myself by reading the stories out of order :P
Lovely writing as always!
Hey Kayla! Here for the first of our three swaps :D
I do love me some Sirius and I thought this was a really unique take on him -- usually we see him as so brash and self-confident, but I can totally see him being this large pile of issues and internalised insecurities based on what he’s had to go through, and I think you pulled that off here really well. Internalised shame and self-loathing are really tough to read and even harder to write, in my opinion, because it’s just this whole mess of contradictions and wants and needs, and you captured that with Sirius really well. His internal monologue is so focussed on the shame of things, trying its best to rationalise his feelings away, and the slight flashes of pleasure against the later emotional crash made for some really effective contrasts. I felt bad for him, is what I’m saying, I think!!!! I felt bad for him. You made me feel bad, congratulations? The question mark because I’m not sure whether this is the appropriate sentiment, apologies.
The introduction of Iain made me feel less bad, though!! He seems a lot more comfortable with himself than Sirius and it seems like that would be a good thing to add to Sirius’ life! It’s hard to know much about him past broad positives and contrasts to Sirius because their encounters are so short, but I in fact liked this a lot. Iain is so very divorced from the rest of Sirius’ world -- usually I’m reading wolfstar, where they’ve known each other since they were babies, and when I read Sirius/OC fics they’re usually Hogwarts romances also. I liked seeing an adult stranger playing off Sirius! It allows for a lot more mystery around him, I think, because they don’t have 7 years of history, and it also means the stakes felt higher to me when Sirius rushed out. Could he NEVER SEE THIS MAN AGAIN? I mean, probably not, it’s a Sirius/OC fic, but the possibility felt real-ish.
And of course, the ending made me smile. It was very good to see Sirius being a little lighter on himself, in fact!!! I like that he has to make the choice to hunt Iain down (as un-creepily as possible) and I like that it took him some effort but he went and did it anyway. Not being a Gryffindor for nothing, and all that. It was very lovely to see Sirius opening up a little after a lifetime of angst and shame, figuratively and literally accepting Iain’s hand. Breakfast will hopefully be a good start to a good thing! I’m excited to see what comes of their culinary encounter.
?Emily
Hey Kayla!
I'm here to drop off a little holiday gift for your wishlist! It's been way too long since I've read any angsty Sirius, so here I am to remedy it!
You already know you do the best angsty Sirius, right? I always think of him as so confident and boyishly charming, but then I read your characterization of him and I'm equally as convinced that he's a bundle of anxiety and insecurity. Regardless of what's causing his issue, you always make him so relatable and authentic. I could see someone struggling with similar anxietes as they deal with their own coming out process.
Wait. You've partnered Sirius with someone else besides Remus? What is this madness?
That being said, Iain sounds lovely. He's a bit mysterious in the beginning. They have good physical intimacy and he seems to really want to give Sirius a chance. I was so sad when Sirius fled from him.
I'm glad that Sirius did finally buck up and find the courage to go back to him. I know jumping into the beginning of a relationship is terrifying, but I also feel like never knowing would could've been is terrifying too. I have a feeling they'll have a sweet future together.
I'd love to see where they end up for breakfast! You know I enjoy food description, so I'd be excited to see what Iain was so excited about.
Wishing you the happiest of holiday seasons!
~Kaitlin
Just stopping by to drop of a review gift for your wishlist.
Kayla! You ventured away from WolfStar and I am shocked! I'm pretty sure you have before, but honestly I'm currently sleep deprived and can't remember anything that happened before lunch! You know I adore your writing and this was fab as ever.
Anyway, this whole thing was gorgeous. I love your description of the shame Sirius feels and how he seems to want to be "fixed", you always capture his internal thoughts beautifully. The fact that he thinks he can't love a man, but he desperately wants to be loved himself, made me feel so sad for him as he's not used to being loved in that way. And it always hurts my heart to find out people (or fictional characters!) are lonely, it's so heartbreaking and will forever make me ugly cry.
I liked Iain. He seems just the kind of guy that Sirius needs at this moment in his life. Someone comfortable with who he is, and someone who is able to make Sirius feel relaxed and comfortable in his own skin. Well, as comfortable as Sirius will ever be anyway. I especially loved how Sirius seems to relax just thinking about him.
"he can't say how this happens, or even when, really, because it happens so slowly that he doesn't even notice - it mellows out into a pleasant, ticklish sort of warmth that he might call fondness." - I loved that. I'm off to read the next instalment now!
Merry Christmas - Tasha xxx
hi kayla, i’m back again as i veeeery slowly work my way through these challenge reviews!
as always, you’ve completely knocked it out of the park with sirius’ characterization. there’s something so raw and real about him and all of his internal conflicts, and this fic really does serve as a really interesting character study of who he is when he’s not around the marauders. and it seems like, when it comes to his sexuality, it’s something he *has* entirely isolated from the marauders - which makes all of the things he’s going through in his own head that much worse, because he lacks any sort of support system that would help him change his mindset and see himself in a better light.
the internal conflict and internalized oppression you’ve captured in this is just executed so well - he’s clearly at odds with himself for the majority of this piece and it makes for some pretty heavy parts. “He wants to be loved. He also, in a vague sort of way, wouldn't mind loving someone in return. It's all a bit ironic - that he could be so cut off from something he wants to feel, while he feels everything else so hard it hurts -“ this line in particular is just … it’s so poignant and really makes my heart break for him.
and then there’s iain. i honestly don’t think i read a lot of sirius/male oc’s (it’s pretty much *just* wolfstar), but in this particular fic, i can really see the ways that someone like iain is good for him. iain is so much more confident and self-assured in himself and his sexuality in all the ways that sirius is not, and that’s something sirius needs. it’s a sort of proof that, for all sirius has convinced himself that he needs to suppress this part of himself and that he’s not worthy of love, there’s another way of looking at things and a way to accept who he is and who he loves.
i also really like how you’ve ended this. it’s no guaranteed happy ending, just a short breakfast date, but it’s a step in the right direction, and some much-needed light in sirius’ life after all of this darkness and heaviness. and the moment that sirius takes iain's hand is just one small gesture, but it's also such a huge leap for sirius, who's spent this whole fic thinking he's not worthy of anyone's love and affection, and it's a perfect glimmer of hope to end on. <3
-taylor
Hey Kayla! I'm here with your requested review and omg I was so excited when I saw that you requested a review in my thread! I've missed your writing so much <3 Full disclosure: I fully walked into this fic expecting to read a Wolfstar fic. (I probably should've read the summary or looked at the story shell, but you know, I don't possess that level of forethought). So I was admittedly a little personally devastated at first, when there was no Remus.
But I found that I really enjoyed seeing Sirius in an entirely different context than I've seen him before! Obviously, Sirius alone was a major theme of this fic, and that isolation really drew out his pain. As always, your writing is so emotionally powerful; I was so struck by his internalized oppression and self-hatred. I think part of that might be that I'm at a very similar place as Sirius right now, in trying to figure out my sexuality, so this fic was very personally striking. But even if I wasn't, you're really a master at emotional manipulation (which I mean 100% as a compliment).
One example I want to draw attention to in particular, because I actually read this fic a couple days ago and this image and line has been staying on mind ever since then, is Sirius's desire, really need, but inability to return that love. I'm amazed at how perfectly you articulated that truly very complicated emotional state. Every time that I've felt this way, I've felt an immediate surge of guilt and shame about that feeling, because it's kind of selfish, right? To want to be loved so badly, but to not really want to love in return. This fic really put that in perspective in kind of an empathetic way, you know; Sirius wants to be loved so badly because he feels like he hasn't been loved before, and it's pain that's motivating him more than selfishness.
That's also why I almost immediately liked Iain--because he was so confident. I liked that you posited him almost immediately as a foil to Sirius: completely, unashamedly, and unabashedly himself. I saw him as kind of a representation of what Sirius could have, or what he could be--and that made it all the more easier to instantly like him. And I really loved how genuine Sirius was around him too. This might be an odd detail to fixate on, but I loved that Sirius nearly stumbled when he got off his bike--it was just this really nice detail about what I think of as the real Sirius: not this super suave and confident guy, but someone who's awkward and clumsy and just trying to figure himself out.
I would've learned to love more about Iain and his journey towards self-acceptance--and perhaps see it as a mirror/divergence of Sirius's journey in some sense, if you wanted to go for Extra Symbolism. But also I'm cognizant of the word limits, etc. I'd be really interested in reading a follow-up to this from Iain's perspective.
Fantastic job as well, Kayla <3
Author's Response:Hi Shreya!
Ah, you are so sweet! You're definitely not the first person to come into this story expecting a wolfstar, and I'm sure you won't be the last :P However, you really hit the nail on the head in terms of why this isn't a wolfstar. I really wanted to put Sirius in a different context than I usually have him and just try something new.
I... am very sorry to hear that you could relate to Sirius so much in this story, because this is not a particularly happy story! If you ever need to talk about anything you can always, always message me <3
That said I'm kind of tempted to change my member title on the forums to "master of emotional manipulation" hahahaaa
To be completely honest, I didn't conciously write Iain as a foil, but I think that is how it shook out. I really don't write OCs, like, ever, and it's always been something I've been nervous about; but I've been having a lot of fun writing Iain. In terms of having more about Iain in this story, this fic was riiiiight up against the word limit (I actually had to cut a bunch of stuff haha) so it just wasn't in the cards. But you may be pleased to know that I have an Iain-POV scheduled for right after I finish the fic I'm currently working on :)
Thanks so very much for the review! <3
-Kayla
Hi Kayla! I'm here (finally, I'm terrible) for our swap!
So I'm slightly surprised to read a story by you that features Sirius paired with someone other than Remus but I still have a lot of Feelings and this was a really wonderful and heartbreaking piece to read.
I feel like I say this in every review that I leave you, but it doesn't make it any less true: your characterisation of Sirius is brilliant. In this piece especially, it was refreshing to see him away from the Marauders and the lighter, more relaxed side that naturally comes out when he's joking around with his friends. In fact, I think the fact that the Marauders were only mentioned once in the whole story, and not in a context that made it seem like they could be any part of this, really reinforced just how alone Sirius is in this struggle. I think that's really the epitome of internalised oppression, hating yourself so much for something natural that you can't even bear to share it with the people closest to you, the ones who've always accepted you and loved you no matter what. That really showed the terrible power that internalised oppression and hatred can have in that way.
I think you captured that brilliantly from the opening lines of the story, and the theme ran so strongly throughout. I felt so sorry for Sirius, I just wanted to wrap him up in a hug and tell him it was okay to be whoever he was, but you built up the picture of his persistent self-hatred so well, it was incredibly believable. It breaks my heart that even at the start, Sirius knows that he's not the only guy who's attracted to guys, but there's never any question in his mind that that attraction is impossible or even wrong, and seeing the different iterations of that in the scenes you showed us in this story paints that image so clearly and tragically.
Your writing style was, as ever, wonderful, but I really loved the way that there were moments when you used repetition and run-on sentences in this to truly mirror the tone of Sirius's self-loathing thoughts; the "he wants, he wants, he wants" emphasises the torment of desire and longing and captures his state of mind so well.
The fact that Sirius wants to be loved so badly is heartbreaking, too. It's so understandable, even more so when you think about the fact that his family had disowned him and the people who were meant to show unconditional love for him completely failed to do so, but it's even sadder that he doesn't seem to believe that being loved is possible, or that he's even worthy of it.
The scene when Sirius met Ian was so well written, as well. I wasn't expecting it to be Iain and not Remus in this story, for some reason, but I actually think it worked a lot better here. The chemistry was instantly obvious as soon as they met, and even though we don't get to know Iain that well here (let's be honest, neither has Sirius, yet) I found myself warming to him instantly.
The reason I think that Iain probably complements Sirius much better in this story than Remus would is because of how relaxed and at peace with himself he seems. Iain's someone who's accepted who he is and is happy to own that and be himself, whether people like it or not. That's a possibility that Sirius hasn't even thought of before he meets Iain, and I think that's one of the reasons he preys on his mind so much: it's that magic of learning that there's a different way to live, a version of the future that's much happier and more self-accepting.
Iain's amazing for the calm and accepting way he reacted to Sirius - both when Sirius left right after they slept together and when he came back weeks later and asked him out for breakfast. It feels like it's one of the first times that Sirius has really, truly encountered someone who doesn't meet him with judgement for things he says or does, just understanding and acceptance, and that's so important. I really loved the uplifting ending after the haunting self-loathing and internalised oppression - I'm not naive enough to think that breakfast with Iain will solve everything for Sirius, but it's certainly a start, and I'd be intrigued to read more of the two together if you're ever inspired to write about them again!
Sian :)
Hey Kayla! I’m here with your requested review :)
This was such a wonderful piece, and I loved it!
First things first - ok, I know you didn’t ask about this, and you probably already know that you’re absolutely amazing at writing Sirius, but I would feel remiss if I didn’t mention it :P Your portrayal of Sirius (in everything you write) has always been one of the most well thought out, believable interpretations of his character and this story is no exception.
“He needs to leave now before he tricks himself into thinking there are possibilities here. There aren’t, there can’t be, because Sirius is broken in so many ways and Iain doesn’t deserve any of them.” -- Omg, my heart breaks for Sirius here, and I also feel weird about how much I relate to him in this sentence :-S
It’s interesting seeing Sirius in a context that is completely unrelated to the other Marauders - they’re only mentioned once, and even that I found to be an interesting mention, how he dresses differently in a way that he’d never let the others see, and it made me wonder if they even know that he’s gay? Or, I guess more likely, they know, but Sirius is pretty closed up about it around them and in a way can’t really be himself around them, which is sad to think about because they’re his best friends. I suppose that does fit with the time period, though. :(
On to the things you actually did ask about: Considering how hard I ship wolfstar, you did manage to convince me of this potential relationship between Iain and Sirius. I like that Iain is so confident in who he is, and the chemistry between him and Sirius is apparent right from the beginning. And he seems like he would be good for Sirius, who struggles with the exact things that Iain seems to excel at. That ending scene is so hopeful. Really, you have nothing to worry about in writing OC’s. This was a wonderful introduction of an OC and even with no prior knowledge of the character I have a pretty good idea of what he’s like just after these few scenes he has here. So yeah, I have nothing but good feedback for your OC and the Sirius/OC relationship :)
The section that I liked the most, for some reason, is the one when Sirius makes plans to go talk to Iain and then has a panic attack and stays inside all day miserable, but then tries again the following day and succeeds. Throughout this whole piece Sirius is struggling with such self-loathing and sometimes it’s bad, but he fights through it even when it’s not easy. And I just like that this section acknowledges how much he struggles with but also suggests that he can win against his anxiety.
The story is well paced, too. The short sections show his slow progress from earlier times as he comes to terms with who he is, and I think the story ends in the perfect place too. Ultimately, it’s not really about whether or not this relationship turns out, although it’d be nice if it did - it’s about Sirius becoming comfortable with who he is, and it ends on a really hopeful note for that.
I enjoyed this story a lot. You’re such a talented writer and I’m always glad to have the chance to read anything by you. Great work <3
Well damn. This is gorgeous.
I'm sorry for vanishing on you after promising to give an initial read-through of this story, but it looks as though you've produced a masterpiece so I'm not really that sorry. :P For real, though, this is such an incredible piece of writing and I am in awe of your talent once again.
I especially love this line: "He's being slowly crushed by isolation, and he wants, he wants, he wants, but it doesn't matter when what he wants is the impossible." It seriously made me ache. Guh. I could *feel* Sirius's insecurity and self-hatred and it made me want to crawl under my bedsheets and cry. (Which I still might do, except they'll be happy tears because that ending... AHHHH.)
I love how much I feel like I know Iain within a short space of time. I love his confidence as he eyes up Sirius and puts his hand on Sirius's arm. He is exactly what Sirius needs--someone who is unafraid to go for what they want, unafraid of judgment, just liviing life to the fullest. When Sirius left after Iain so calmly and coolly asked him to breakfast made me want to scream at the computer because THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT, SIRIUS, STARING YOU IN THE FACE. When he broke down at cried as he got back to his flat, I just... I almost lost it there, Kayla. I was an inch away from needing a WHOLE FREAKING BOX OF TISSUES.
But really, all of the emotional turmoil was 100% worth it to read the scene where Sirius awkwardly shows up on Iain's doorstop and bumbles through asking him out. OH GOD. My heart. And he TOOK IAIN'S HAND. Such a small gesture but a huge step for Sirius.
Damn. I was doing so well and now I'm legitimately crying. There is a tear rolling down my cheek. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You can't ever stop writing, okay?
xx Gina
Author's Response:Ginaaaaa <3
As always, you are way too kind. This review really means a lot to me <3 I'm particularly glad for your feedback about Iain, because I was quite worried with my decision to turn this into a series that I actually hadn't established him well enough. It's so reassuring to come back to this review and see your comments about him.
<3 You rock, thank you so much for this very sweet review!
Love,
Kayla
Kayla! Here for our swap!
Ahhhh, this piece is so powerful. You write an angsty Sirius Black so well. I love your heartbreaking interpretation of him, though I wish I could also support him in any way shape or form in the beginning of this story. Wow. What heaviness. His denial, self loathing, desire, shame, loneliness. And on top of all that, we have the First War.
As soon as Sirius goes to a gay bar, I'm stricken by the description that he wears clothes that he wouldn't dare wear in front of the other Marauders. So does that mean that Sirius is absolutely closeted? That his best friends don't know? Surely James does, they're so close, but this is perhaps my bias in wanting Sirius to have someone in his life who he can trust and be himself around.
You raise that hope with Iain here... the chemistry is there straight away, and I'm cheering Sirius on because I want him to accept himself for who he is and for him to have self love and self respect... those things aren't all there (yet), but I can see his growth from when he was with Roger Acon at Hogwarts til now. But then... when Sirius goes to leave and Iain wants him to stay, I feel like we're almost back at square one again. You do such an incredible job showing a confident Sirius and then an unstable one. His reactions are totally believable, too.
That line about how Sirius is broken in so many ways and that Iain doesn't deserve any of them was gut wrenching. But I'm glad that Iain lingers in his thoughts. I feel like Sirius needs to try reaching out to someone, and if he's already somewhat comfortable with Iain, then I want him to go for it.
And he does! He's totally a Gryffindor. The ending is so heartwarming. I feel like it's a huge moment of growth for Sirius. With all of the inner turmoil and angst and path to more self acceptance, I have finished this piece with a little smile. This is so well written, Kayla! Great work!
Author's Response:Abbyyyyy <3
Can I just take a moment to say a huge thank you for your support of this series? It's so far outside of my comfort zone and so your wonderful reviews really, truly mean a lot <3
You've read the other fics in this series now, so it won't be a spoiler (for you! If you're not Abbi and you're reading this review before the stories for some reason, stop now hahahaha) for me to confirm that yes, he's absolutely closeted. That was a conflict that I really wanted to explore!
Your feedback on Sirius's characterization, and Iain's as well, is so wonderful! Thank you for your very kind words <3 Again, they're truly appreciated. (Sorry it took me a year to answer this and tell you that. I am terrible :P)
Love,
Kayla
Kayla <3
I'm here for our swap!
This was so difficult to get my thoughts together for this review so I'm sorry if this is a crazy mess of a review.
another Sirius Black masterpiece! I can't believe how well you captured Sirius as a character especially how conflicted he feels in this piece. I really like the start of the piece which gives a bit of background into what he is going through. I feel you've shaped the way I view Sirius through your writing, you've made me believe in your vision of him. You are so talented at getting inside of your character's thought process and this piece is really a master class in that. Everything about these piece feel so realistic. The jumbly confused thoughts in his mind are perfect for your narrative.
there are some really fantastic line in this piece. .'He's being slowly crushed by isolation, and he wants, he wants, he wants, but it doesn't matter when what he wants is the impossible.' This is a line that stood out at me as being so powerful. It packs such an emotional punch.
I love the meeting between Iain and Sirius. I think the dialogue is great to create a dynamic between the two. We've only get to see a bit of Iain but I can totally ship him and Sirius together. I feel like he'll be great for Sirius as he seems very confident in himself. It is quite a talent to make the readers really care about your characters but you've just done it here by having such good but also very natural character development from Sirius here.
I love your angst but I'm a sucker for a hopeful ending! I think it was really nicely played too, It wasn't a magic over the top fix but it was the beginning of something for Sirius. I very much like to think that Sirius would be on the road a little more self love and hopefully maybe a nice new blossoming relationship but who knows!
Abbi xx
Author's Response:Hi Abbi <3
Please don't apologize, this is far from being a crazy mess of a review <3 In all sincerity, this review means a lot to me, as does your support of this series in general! I really can't thank you enough.
I was (and still am, tbqh) pretty insecure about Iain, so it really bolstered me up to hear that you like the relationship between the two of them even here at the start, where readers really haven't seen much of Iain yet.
Thank you THANK YOU for your kind words and for the feedback <3 I really, really appreciate it.
-Kayla
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