FanficTalk Archive
Unleash Your Fandom
As you know, Remus Lupin is my happy place…and my sad, heartbreaking place too. He’s such a complex character and I always feel for him. So thanks very much for breaking my heart all over again, you monster! Ha, no seriously, it was brilliant.
The thing that scared him progressively more and more was how little he had to actually act. - wow. That actually seems pretty realistic to be honest. The fact that he mentioned how Sirius and Peter have been treating him at Order meetings, he knows they think the spy is him and that must be so gutting to know your best friends don’t trust you. It’s odd, because he’s such a trustworthy character, to me anyway, even though when we meet him in Azkaban he’s hiding is lycanthropy, he still comes across as someone who has a heart.
Your descriptions of Remus as the Wolf was fantastic. How he was growing less and less human with every day and he felt and the raw rage had filled him and for the first time, the man and wolf were united when he found out about Marlene McKinnon’s death and he hadn’t been told. He must have felt so alone and isolated, especially in a place he detested.
I liked that Marlene was older than him as often all the order members seem to be in the same year at Hogwarts, and that she was his first friend. I really felt his grief here, especially because they had a real connection and had stayed friends throughout the years and fought together.
Though I did like how by the end he had come to the conclusion that his friends were all working in areas they hated to try and win the war and that they were all struggling.
However, that ending. It crushes me that no one thought to tell him that everything was over and that his best friends, his family, had been long gone. Those messages full of love and hope for a future that will never be, just disappeared with no one there to receive them. This was really a gorgeous piece of writing and I feel like a need a hug now!
Great job - Tasha xx
For the review event 2020.
Author's Response:Hello you lovely human being. Thank you so much for this encouraging review! It really means a lot to me. ~Kaitlin
Kaitlin! Here for CTF, Round 2 Week 1! Team Red!
This piece... oh my goodness, this piece of writing is incredibly moving. You depict Remus's experiences in the latter half of the First War in a chilling way. What Dumbledore has asked Remus to do is no easy feat: going deep undercover into one of the most marginalized communities in the wizarding world, coming into contact with people so broken by society that they have their own set of morals and values (example: Fenrir).
But for him to feel isolated like that... I've always wondered why people thought Remus was the spy in canon. I mean, I got to know him before ever finding out that he was a werewolf, and he won me over. I suppose the prejudice behind his condition was a coping mechanism for the fear that the War stirred up. But to think that Lily and James didn't really have much to do with him while in hiding, Sirius's coldness, and Peter's... face efforts (though, in retrospect, that was rather brilliant on his part, no?) You craft Remus's isolation in a believable and heartbreaking way.
Marlene... I am thrilled that you have her in here. Sure, they have an age difference, but I imagine Marlene to be friendly with people across multiple years when she was at Hogwarts. I'm glad she had such an impact on Remus, to bring him out of his shell. We all need people in the life. And I like how the memory of Marlene also helps Remus consider different perspectives regarding his friends' distance. The awful missions that drudge up trauma for Sirius. (There is no redeeming comment for Peter here, since he clearly had other priorities.) The price on the Potter's heads. Your writing is so well done that you have these almost contradictory points of view in the same piece, and they're both so believable.
The ending, though. Wow. That goes to show just how out of touch Remus was with everything when the attack on the Potter's happened. But I can see this actually happening in canon, since Sirius was at the Potter's house when Hagrid was there and then confronted Peter in the street... no one really knows where Remus was when all of this happened, and I can see him being wrapped up in Order business.
And his messages of hope. Of love. Going unheard. Stunningly heartbreaking. A tragically beautiful ending to a beautiful piece. <3
Hiya Kaitlin! I'm here for CTF Round 2.
I've brought up this period of time in my stories before, and I've seen others do the same, but this is the first time I've actually read a story about Remus infiltrating the werewolves. You did a really great job in the opening scenes setting up the danger and tension of what Remus was about to undertake. His fear was very clear and it was a total gutpunch when I got to the line that explained he's more afraid of giving in to his impulses than he is of the other werewolves. That rang very true for me.
You also did a great job showing the toll that the war has taken on Remus, especially with the climate of suspicion and fear amongst his closest friends. It was so heartbreaking, the bitterness he felt and his sense of abandonment. Definitely very realistic, but very heartbreaking. What I thought was really interesting was that even though he was very bitter that his loved ones suspected him of being a mole, there was never a moment where he suspected one of them. I imagine Remus would have a hard time suspecting his friends, especially given everything they did for him at school.
It was also heartbreaking when Remus found out about Marlene's funeral from the paper, especially with the scene between the two of them that followed. I had never thought of Remus and Marlene as close friends, but you set it up very well and I thought it totally worked. The only thing that had me slightly taken aback was how much older she was than him - but only because I was wondering if they stayed in touch (by owl?) after she left Hogwarts. It was lovely that her friendship - and the loss of her - was what made Remus reframe what was going on with his friends.
I was so happy and hopeful when Remus sent off those Patronuses - and then that last paragraph came! Kaitlin, that is honestly pure evil. Genius, but pure evil. The thought of Remus returning home from his terrible mission to such awful news is just... crushing.
Great work, Kaitlin!
-Kayla (team red)
Hi! I am here to review for the April 2019 Capture the Flag.
I simply loved this story. You’ve explored every aspect of Remus’s character in it—his devotion to his friends, his tenaciousness, his depression, his self-loathing, and his bitterness. I think it’s this last part of his personality that is the most interesting to me. The fact that he has to delve deep into the wolf part of him in order to be an effective spy is so harsh and true and dangerous. How can he manage to keep his control, when it’s so easy to lose control—especially around the influnce of these particular werewolves.
I loved how creepy the pack was. The fact that they liked ‘virgin flesh’ and biting kids—eek! I was really nervous when Remus walked into their den, even though I knew he wouldn’t die at that point.
The moments when you write about how his friends are ignoring him made me sad and a little angry. Why are they ignoring him? I know they are all stressed, but so is he.
The scene where Remus sees the child getting ready to go off to school was a nice bright moment to offset all the darkness in this story. I love how you segued into his memory of meeting Marlene and how she helped him. Really, I just love Marlene as a character (kudos for writing out her accent and turn of phrase), so any time I see her I cheer. But what do you mean she dies?!
Then you take us to a high point where Remus is in a better place emotionally—he’s understanding his friends and he’s not mad at them any more and he sends them these lovely, hopeful messages. And your parting shot was all the more effective and tragic for the preceding moment: that his friends are dead, in prison, missing, and they never hear his message.
Great work! I really enjoyed this.
Hey Kaitlin!
I'm here for ctf.
I think you're right that Remus is a perfect character for these prompts. I thought you did really well at his characterisation. I think you've taken him this really clear inner monologue and the description of his oppression that he feels was really powerful and effective. I feel really sorry for him because it's not fair that he has to feel like that. He is quite a tragic character honestly but he's not the only one. 'Though the people inside were his kin in affliction, they were not his kin in conviction.' I really like this line, it stood out because it basically sums up his situation but in an almost poetic way.
Fenrir is really scary character and I think you caught that in this piece. the whole idea of being in a werewolf den is very scary. I thought it was very in character about Remus' embarrassment in his search which again shows the difference between them especially in Remus' quiet nature.
OMG. I loved that you had Marlene's cameo in this story. I really adore her character in Abby's stories so it was wonderful to see your take on her too. I loved that you kept the Scottish dialect which is really effective. I can really imagine her being friends with Remus and it's so sad that he had to find out about her death like that. I really liked Remus' realisation about everyone else's sacrifices are similar to his own. Even though we found out that the message didn't get listened to I think it's important that he sent them.
I love how the last time ends into the title. I thought it was powerful. This is piece is really wonderful portrayal of Remus and it made great use of the prompts. Well done!
Abbi xo
Hi, Kaitlin. I came back for your review swap 2/4.
It's a very sad story, the title means the last scene. His last hope would never been done. His friendship ended in such a tragic way. You writing style sometines let people cry or let us see the severe reality. Readers can't stop wishing Lupin's happiness.
The first scene how Lupin must face Fenrir, is scary. I felt for him while he was checked if he had a weapon such as his wand. It's smart of him he hid it in his mokeskin pouch and he was so brave.
In the middle, you spared much space to describe his desperate effort to work for the Order against his wild desire as a werewolf. You used the two themes effectively, careeres and internalized oppression. Great job, Kaitlin!
K
Hey again Kaitlin! Here to leave the last review of our swap :D
Okay, so you might have noticed that I saved this for last, because Remus Lupin is one of my absolute favourite characters and I love seeing stories written about him. And you tackled a really tough period for him and did it really well, in my opinion. I really love how he starts out doing this as a rote sort of job for the Order, purely because he doesn’t want to let them down -- it’s not a bad reason, but it’s not the kind of reason that’ll keep someone going through a situation like this, and I really love how you illustrated it. You were absolutely right that it fit the back from the brink prompt really well, and you worked the internalised oppression and careers themes in so flawlessly as well.
Ugh, it really sucks that he’s such a target just because he’s a werewolf. The fact that people are suspecting him of being the spy just for that is exactly the kind of thing that would make the person in question bitter and resentful -- and then that blow of not being told about Marlene’s death was awful :( It was heartbreaking to watch Remus go down that rabbit hole, and maybe a little strange because he seems so much more in control of himself in canon, but you’ve made it totally understandable to me.
He came back from the brink, but what was there to greet him ;-; Far out, but that’s so heartbreaking -- the fact that he’s dragged himself back from a perilous downwards spiral with the thought of his friends and the bond they share, and then he immediately finds out that one of his friends has betrayed the rest. That’s an absolute gut punch of an ending, Kaitlin v_v The last line especially was just -- his messages went unheard! I’m extremely emotional, argh. You’ve made me feel things in my heart parts.
Which is to say, I enjoyed this story a lot :’) You’ve really done a great job of diving into Remus’s point of view during a really awful period in his life. Thank you for swapping with me, it was a pleasure!
❤Emily
Author's Response:Hello you lovely human being. Thank you so much for this encouraging review! It really means a lot to me. ~Kaitlin
Any access or use of the FanficTalk Archive is conditioned upon compliance with our Site Guidelines and Terms of Service and the Copyright Policy and Privacy Policy contained therein. Should you have any questions about them, you are very welcome to contact any of our archive validators. For advanced searching, please click here.
Any characters, source code, text, or titles contained herein which are recognizable as copyrighted material are the sole property of their owners.