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Chiara, I was sure I'd reviewed this one, but obviously I haven't, so I'm here to remedy that :)
The image of a teenage Petunia having to take part in a family welcome for Lily has me LMAO - typical moody behaviour; not just because it's something she doesn't want to do (or has something 'better' to do instead) but because it's for Lily. Lily, who was magical enough for Hogwarts and on a pedestal Petunia could never hope to occupy. Yeah, I can imagine she acted in an unbecoming manner, haha!
When the boy and his trunk collide with Petunia, and he offers an apology and his hand in assistance, I did wonder whether Petunia would sneer and rebuff him. But no - and this line has me LOLing:
"[she] readied herself for a long, and totally dignified of course, hysterical fit about how he was nothing more than a freak and should've watched where he was going."
HA! I can just imagine Petunia's 'dignified yet hysterical' outburst!!
But wait; what's this? Regulus Black? He's handsome? OMG, Petunia's response is almost as though she's taken a love potion, haha! And she doesn't have a hissy fit at being described as 'not bad for a muggle', nor does he turn a hair at being labelled a 'freak'. Ah, this could be the start of something AMAYZING between them - yeah, see you Vernon. Don't let the door hit you on the way out...
I LOVE the insight into Petunia's and Regulus's thoughts and actions following the encounter - Vernon's boring drills (pun intended) were getting just too much for Petunia to bear, and Regulus is considering running away with his teddy-bear Alioth (and a photo of his parents). That muggle t-shirt birthday present finally came in handy LMAO.
And the proposal and marriage ceremony (with Sirius as best man because poorr Regulus wasn't exactly spoilt for choice) almost made me spit my tea out, haha! But I wish this had been canon, if only to save Harry from the ghastly childhood he suffered.
This was brilliantly funny! Loved the unusual pairing of Petunia with Regulus and I really thought you made it work so well!!
Meera <3
Author's Response:Hi, Meera, my dear! <3
Ahahah! Poor Petunia... why would she want to waist her "precious time" to go pick "perfect Lily" up, right? :P Of course, she would be moody about it! :P
Ahahah! Her dignified yet hysterical outburst would've been a sight to behold, am I right? :P But no... it's Regulus Black, and he's very handsome... :P in the aristocratical way that's bound to struck Petunia... almost like she took a love potion, indeed... :P Poor Vernon... lol! :P
So glad you liked Petunia and Regulus' thoughts following the encounter... :D I had a lot of fun with it, as you can imagine... :P
So glad you liked the proposal, too! And poor Reg, being stuck with Sirius as best man because he doesn't have an alternative, lol! :P I mean, still not ideal for Harry, but definitely better than what he suffered with the Dursleys... (have I mentioned how much I despise Vernon? I have a feeling it comes across here quite well, anyway... :P)
Thank you so much! I'm so happy you enjoyed this silly fic of mine! Thank you so much for making me laugh with this lovely review! <3
This was AMAZING.
Ok, I personally would have made it fit with the fact that Regulus died. It would have been tragic, but I could then imagine Petunia going back to Vernon and everything would happen as it does in the books. Perhaps Dudley could have actually been Regulus' son, but then he wouldn't have been overweight, presumably. Anyway. I could totally see this happening. :D Great job!
Author's Response:Hi, Heather! :D
So glad you enjoyed this little fic! :D I guess I could've made it link back to canon, although I didn't really want to... :P But now I'm so intrigued by this idea of Dudley actually being Regulus' son... :P (but yes, he probably would've looked differently... and he probably would've been a wizard... mmmh...)
Thank you for stopping by and reviewing! :D
Hi Chiara!
I've read this story before, but I hadn't had the time to review until now.
So: I love this story! It's so wonderfully written, even with having to include what might be the rarest of rare pairs. I would never have paired Regulus and Petunia together in a million years, but that's what rare pair challenges are for, am I right? :D (And I am a huge fan of rare pairs.) Either way, you definitely pulled the pairing off!
I love the way you wrote the meetcute with our two intrepid characters! It was actually really sweet. And I love that they each had such an impact on the other (haha, impact, pun 100% intended). Meeting really made them reconsider the preconceptions they had. And though the ending feels abrupt with Regulus's proposal (and he's like...17 at that point, right??), it fits with this story! It's somehow a regular progression with how positively wild this pairing is, haha.
Overall, this story is just ridiculously sweet. You did a great job writing for two very different characters and showing that they actually have a lot in common if you actually think about it.
Well done!
Best,
Emily
*for the Fairyland review event*
Author's Response:Emily!!! :D
Thank you so much for stopping by, dear! <3
I'm so glad you enjoyed this story and that you thought it was well-written! :) And yes, Petunia/Regulus must be the rarest pair ever, but they do make sense? In a way? They are like two sides of the same coin, right? :P
I'm so glad you liked their meetcute, and the "impact" they had on each other (lol) Ahahah! Reg's proposal was very abrupt, but this was meant to be silly/parodical, so I don't feel guilty at all... and yes, they are a wild pairing to begin with... ;)
So glad you enjoyed! Thank you so much again for stopping by! :D
Love,
Chiara
Hey Chiara!
It occurred to me today that I think I still owe you a review or two, so I thought I'd pop by your page and leave you some review love. Sorry, I've been such a terrible friend with keeping up with reviews. Life has been weird lately.
I chose to read this story because I love to see how people handle rare pairs and Petunia/Regulus is a rare pair indeed. I honestly can't even fathom how you bring the two of them together. I mean, Petunia hates wizards and Regulus is about blood purity.
Ooh. Okay. A chance meeting at King's Cross makes sense. I really enjoyed the little detail about how Petunia and her parents are allowed in because they know about King's Cross. That's a clever explanation for how some muggles can get in, but others can't.
Okay. I love how Petunia notices Regulus. She immediately sees a difference in him from the other "freaks" around him. And it makes sense too. He's from the noble house of Black. He's all about status and finery, which is everything Petunia is attracted too. And I love that it makes Vernon seem boring in comparison.
I have to admit that I'm slightly more skeptical about Regulus' part. I could see him finding Petunia objectively appealing because of her demeanor, but I don't know that I can sincerely imagine him thinking she was his soul mate. I feel like there would be a lot of prejudices to challenge and change before he could get to that place.
I do like the little confrontation between Sirius and Regulus. It does seem fitting that Sirius would question Regulus' motives. I mean it's pretty odd for him to just suddenly show up on the doorstep and wildly out of character for what Sirius would remember of him. Wow. From there it's quite the whirlwind. I can't believe Regulus asks for Petunia's hand without ever having gone on a date with her.
Ah okay. Your author's note makes it a little more clear for me. As satire this makes a bit more sense. I guess I read it in a more serious tone and I was like, wow this is moving so fast. As a parody of the typical love at first sight trope, it's brilliant.
Good work!
~Kaitlin
Author's Response:Hi, Kaitlin! <3
Aww, don't worry at all! Thank you for stopping by! <3
I think rare pairs can be extremely entertaining :D And, well, this was meant to be mostly a humorous thing anyway, so... yes, Regulus and Petunia are practically opposites, but in a way that makes them basically the same? I enjoyed a lot playing with that concept! :)
I thought a chance meeting at King's Cross was the logical choice for their encounter. I can't see them meeting in any other way. Glad you liked my explanation of how the barrier works, it's something I'd been wondering about a lot, and this seemed a good way to make it work. :)
I can totally imagine Petunia fall for Regulus' aristocratic charme :P He would stand out as much more refined than all those other freaks... :P And honestly, Vernon is the most boring (read disgusting) man in the world... if I were Petunia, I would have no doubts. :P
Regulus was pretty inpulsive, and maybe a bit childish about the whole thing, but that's what made it funny! :P He probably would've struggled more, I agree, but I liked the idea of love at first sight... :P
I'm glad you liked the confrontation between Sirius and Regulus! Ahahah! Yes, it was a bit of a rollercoaster :P
Yes, it would've been wild if it was serious, but it wasn't meant to be completely serious, so... :P So glad you enjoyed it! :D
Thank you so much for the lovely review! (And for the Chalices nom!!! <3 <3 <3)
Love,
Chiara
HELLO CHIARA. Here with another review for Chiara Appreciation Month!
AHH I was so unimaginably curious about this story! I have never once read a fic about Petunia and Regulus (they are truly rarepairs, aren’t they :P), and considering the very extreme viewpoints that these two have grown up with about one another’s worlds, it was sure to be extremely entertaining! And you did not disappoint! You managed to make their infatuation/romance with one another believable while still making it very very funny. :D
A small thing that I noticed that I actually really loved is that you closed the loophole about the Platform Nine and Three-Quarters wall! I have wondered that myself, about what the rules were surrounding that entrance, and you tied it in so smoothly into the narration that it didn’t disrupt the story at all!
Anyway, I love the way you characterized Petunia—she’s not quite likable still, which is very consistent with her personality from the books, since she opens the story by effectively throwing a minor tantrum over having to go pick Lily up. (And she’s probably at least eighteen by this point, isn’t she? :P) Oh man, her daydreamy thoughts about Vernon made want to chortle; I still cannot understand anyone mooning over that completely undesirable man. But as soon as she bumps into Regulus! Oh, the tone change! Suddenly, in comparison, her thoughts about Vernon feel flat and lifeless, as she admires the aristocratic features of Regulus. It was so funny, and so well done.
Somehow, it strikes me as no surprise that Petunia would fall for someone with that imperious look, with the regal cheekbones and everything. :P Despite her vicious prejudice against the magical kind (her calling Regulus a “magician” had me chuckling), it’s Regulus’s high-born look that makes him appealing to her at first glance! Ugh I love it, it’s such a Petunia way to feel about somebody. To a certain degree, I can relate to her, considering the alternative is…Vernon. :P
REGULUS WANTS TO MARRY HER SDFJKLS. I bet this is such a Pureblood thing to do, to marry a girl that you don’t even know that well hahaha. (I actually loved his internal thoughts about how graceful and elegant Petunia was; based on everything about Petunia from Harry’s perspective, she is so very not refined, so seeing this side of her from Regulus’s perspective is the best thing ever. I also looked up what étoile meant because it looks like such a beautiful word, and now I understand! Thank you for teaching me a new word with this story haha. <3)
THE CONFUSED CONFRONTATION AT THE EVANS’ HOUSE ABSOLUTEYL TICKLED ME. That was hilarious, especially when it came to Petunia’s perspective and her thoughts on “Freak Number One” and “Freak Number Two”. There is something so compelling about shipping Petunia and Regulus, and it’s just so great.
This story made me unbelievably happy. (Though there’s that somewhat worrying bit of uncertainty there at the end! What is the non-happy ending? I must know!) Thank you so much for writing such a wonderful piece, Chiara! <3
Love,
Eva
Author's Response:You really spoiled me for the appreciation month... you are too sweet... <3
I'm so glad you enjoyed this! Reg/Tuney is definitely an extremely rare pair, but I'm sort of fond of them? <3 Yes, they come from totally opposite worlds, and they have strong prejudices towards each other, but that's what make them similar, isn't it? Ironic, in effect! :P
The Platform 9 3/4 thing never made sense to me... what were parents of Muggleborn children supposed to do? So I thought that this could be a reasonable solution! I'm glad you liked that detail, and that it didn't disturb the narration too much! :)
Ahahah! Putting up a tantrum about going to pick up her sister at the station just seems such a Petunia thing to do! :P Yes, she's definitely not perfect, or even likeable... :P It's a good thing that she bumped into Regulus, and that he opened her eyes on all the much better possibilities than Vernon Dursley... I agree with you, I can't see how anyone would moon over him...
Definitely typical Petunia, being struck by someone with such aristocratic features... :P And Regulus definitely has that charm, even if he's a "magician" :P
Ahahah! I must admit, that was pretty silly of Regulus... but since pureblood society is probably based on arranged marriages and the like, he wouldn't find it that unusual to propose to a girl he's just met? :P Ahahah! No, based on how we see her in the books (through Harry's eyes) she doesn't seem that graceful... but Regulus has other views, doesn't he? :P Happy that I made you discover a new word! :D
The confrontation at the Evans' was so much fun to write! :D Glad you liked Petunia's "nicknames" for James and Sirius as well! :P
I'm so glad this made you happy!!! <3 And no worries... what I meant there is just that Regulus and Petunia would... have quite a few opinion divergences... :P but they'll live happily ever after... sort of... :P
You are the best!!! I love you!!!
Snowball hug,
Chiara
--- for the sandcastle event ---
Hey!
I'm obsessed with this ship. I loved the little story about how you came up with this idea because it's rather special. I think it's such a crazy pairing that it was going to be really tough to write but you've really pull it off! I think the secret to your success is really think about the two characters like you've managed to think about the only thing that they may have in common and craft a believable couple from that. I think that's cute that she calls him a magician! I love that little bit of banter between the two.
I like how you've created that spark between them. I think it's really nice that Petunia has a reason to break up with Vernon because let's face it she wasn't going to be properly happy with him even without Reg on the scene. I think Regulus' assessment about why they are good together is really spot on. They do have in common more than meets the eye. I don't think I could have put it better myself honestly. I really like that Regulus is now comparing himself to Sirius.
Go get your girl, reg! I thought that interaction with Sirius was brilliant, it was so passionate. I think regulus is a man on a mission. I think this is so crazy but the end scene was wonderful but crazy. I guess love makes us all do mental things. I love that last section detailing their lives together but why might they know live happily ever after?! I demand to know what could drive these soulmates apart. This was a fun little piece, good job!
Abbi xx
Author's Response:You've really being spoiling me, haven't you? <3
Ah, I'm so glad you like the idea of Tuney/Reg! (This reminds me of your James/Tuney, btw, and how much I loved it! I think I'd love more of that one! <3) I'm also so glad you liked the story about how I came up with this in the first place... it's actually kind of bittersweet for me, since Sophie passed away last year... :( but maybe it's better if we don't go there... :(
I'm very glad you liked their first interaction! And the spark between them! :P Let's be honest, anyone would've been better than Vernon, and Petunia could really have done so much better than that... And Regulus would absolutely appreciate her pride in her heritage, wouldn't he? They do have so much in common, despite coming from totally opposite environments! ;) And yes, Regulus is starting to see things from Sirius' POV a little, too! <3
Regulus' actions and proposal were quite ridicolous and crazy, yeah! :P And I loved writing him and Sirius facing off! I'm so glad you also enjoyed the little summary of their future life, too! :P I think they had a pretty good life together, to be honest... but I also think they would be constantly arguing over something, being it how to raise their children (because she would totally spoil them rotten and Regulus wouold hate it) or using or not using magic for chores (yes, I have too much headcanon for these two... maybe one day I'll write more in this universe...)
Thank you so much! Your reviews are always so wonderful! <3
Love,
Chiara
--- for the sandcastle event ---
Ha! This was a fun little whirlwind of a story! At first I was taken aback by the suddenness and randomness of Regulus's proposal, but I see this for the parody and satire that it is and I take your point! What's most brilliant here is the comparison between these two characters who seem so different and literally worlds apart, but they're both so prejudiced, judgmental, and narcissistic that they're basically the same.
The funny thing about Petunia is that she always craved normality, to the point that she married someone as abysmally mundane as Vernon, but I can totally see her letting go of that attachment to normal by the romanticism of being with someone who is highbrow and mysterious (at least if he's handsome, amirite?). As for Regulus, I think he is rather amused and fascinated by meeting someone from a social group he despises who is open in her prejudice against him. Like maybe it never entered into his mind that Muggles might thing wizards are below them!
The icing on the cake is James, Lily, and Sirius all like, "WHAT IS GOING ON?"
This is a great little "what if" exploration!
Melanie
Author's Response:Hi, Melanie! <3
I'm glad this story amused you! :D Yeah, I know, that was pretty sudden, but I wanted it to be a bit ridiculous... :P And yes, that's exactly my point! They come from complete opposites backgrounds, but they are just the two sides of the same coin! ;)
I never understood why Petunia would marry Vernon in the first place, to be honest... :/ she would immediately be drawn by Regulus' aristocratic (and definitely handsome) features, wouldn't she? :P And yes, I think you absolutely nailed Reg here! The idea of Muggles feeling superior to wizards would totally amuse him to the point of being attractive... :P
Ahahah! Can you imagine what it would be like for James, Lily and Sirius? :D
Thank you so much!!!
I've never read a Petunia/Regulus story before. Though, I've read her paired with the other three Marauders.
You characterized Petunia and Regulus rather well.
Regulus is more of a Gryffindor than he thinks acting on emotions after proposing to Petunia just after talking to her a few minutes a year before.
You can't go wrong with Marauder mischief and evesdropping.
I loved the last line about Harry wondering how they even got married.
Author's Response:Hello, Delaney! Thank you for stopping by! :)
I'm glad you liked my characterization of Petunia and Regulus! Yes, there is something definitely Gryffindor-ish in Regulus' sudden proposal... I didn't think about that... :P
Eavesdropping is 100% what James and Sirius would do in that situation! :P And glad you liked that line of Harry wondering how they got married! ;)
Thank you again for reading and reviewing! :)
Hello my love! Here for our swap.
So I had every intention of continuing with your WIPs I’ve started, but saw Regulus/Petunia, and could not pass that by. What an unlikely, yet also you can kind of see it pairing.
I love how you justified the attraction between them. Petunia does seem the sort that, even though he’s a “freak,” you can tell he comes from money, and is proper, and that would be something that would let her look past the wizardry. Not to mention, he’s a Black, and they’re all supposed to be super good looking. So, proper manners, money, and good looks. Yeah, she’d fall for that hook, line and sinker.
Then Regulus sees that she’s proud, and haughty, probably very similar to the pureblood girls he’d been forced around his entire life. And she’s fiercely proud of her being a “pureblood” Muggle, just as he was raised to be proud of being wizarding pureblood. It’s like their two sides of the same coin.
I’m sure it must have been dreadfully dull listening to Vernon drone on and on about drills. Snore fest. Plus, he looks like a walrus lol. I mean, looks aren’t the most important thing, but there’s a limit hahaha. And then Reg actually runs away from home! Just like Sirius! He’s got it bad for her and I love it.
He didn’t take the Mark! Yay! But still, only natural for Sirius and James to assume the worst. As far as they knew, considering who Reg’s friends were, he was a death eater. I love how he had no tolerance for either of them, and was just like, “Mr. Evans, may I speak to you?” And I love the little bit of Marauder humor, that you have down to an art, which you’ve thrown in. With them both listening at the door like little kids, exclaiming, “he wants to do what?!” Hahaha.
Imagine her shock at only meeting him once, but here he is proposing. Yet, it seemed right. And then Sirius was best man! *cries* I would LOVE to read more of their married life, and to see what the “lived happily ever after, or didn’t” means… I think you need another WIP :p
As always, my love, this was a delight to read. No one does Marauder’s era like you do, and I always love stopping by to read your work.
Thanks for the swap, lovely!! Love you!
Author's Response:MEG!!! Hello, my love! And sorry I'm so late with this reply... <3
Ah, yes, Reg/Tuney is definitely an unusual ship, but one that I had a lot of fun imagining... and they do sort of make sense, don't they? :P
Proper manners, money and good looks would definitely get Petunia's attention, magic or not! :D And yes, Regulus does see that pride that he's been taught to appreciate, even if in an opposite context... two sides of the same coin is exactly what I was going for with these two! ;)
I mean, if I had to choose between Vernon and Regulus I would have no doubt! I don't understand why Petunia chose Vernon in the first place... but whatever :P And yes, Reg follows in his brother's steps! :P He definitely does have it bad for her! ;)
Yeah, Reg didn't become a Death Eater here, he left before that. But of course James and Sirius would assume he had bad intentions. And of course he would have no tolerance for them. :P Ahahah! Sirius and James would definitely eavesdrop at the door! Isn't it exactly what they would do? :P
I kind of feel neither of them even thought it was weird? :P And yes, Sirius as best man just seemed the funniest thing! :P I actually have a quite precise headcanon for their life togeher and their kids... maybe one day I'll write more in this universe...? But for now Jimmy is my only focus, I'm afraid...
Aww, thank you... you are too sweet! Thank you so much for the lovely review and the swap!
Snowball hug,
Chiara
Hi Chiara! I’m here for our review swap! Sorry for the wait! :^) (I would’ve continued with Jimmy, but this story caught my eye, and well, here I am.)
You characterize Petunia really well only with a few sentences. Already, we see Petunia’s character that we learned about in the books, and it matches that really well.
The bitterness towards her parents also is pretty apparent, but in all honesty, it makes me kind of sad. Sure, some of that bitterness may stem from Petunia’s own world views, but it also kind of is telling that perhaps she isn’t getting the sort of attention and affection she needs from them. I don’t know. This is a pattern I see sometimes in real life.
Is it weird that I imagine your Regulus Black as Logan Lerman? It’s just something about the way you write him. Either way, the Petunia described charms me.
I find it really funny, in a more hysterical way, that they both might find common ground of liking each other through their intense dislike of Lily. The reasons for their hatred of her should have kept them apart, but, uh, clearly not, in this case.
It’s also quite ironic that Regulus seems to be questioning his family’s values for Petunia of all people; she’s hardly the paragon of goodness and morality. Her character is an interesting one to analyze, sure, but from my perspective, I find her appalling.
Oh, wow, that moved increasingly fast. Who would’ve thought that Regulus might have fallen in love with Petunia after meeting her only once?
They’re cute in a way… I guess. They might be good for each other, or they might not be. When you put together someone who hates muggles and someone who hates magic, what do you get? This, I think.
This was a good look into what might have happened if the two met, and it was a great read!
Thanks for writing (and for swapping)! xx
Author's Response:Hello! Thank you for stopping by and for the swap! <3
I'm glad you liked my Petunia here and that you found her in character! :) Well... I guess there is a point of truth in her parents favouring Lily? Although I still think Petunia's point of view is not exactly reliable and she might be exaggerating things a little...
I'm not very good at faceclaims, but I actually don't dislike Logan Lerman as Reg? Anyway, I guess you can imagine in any way you like! ;) I Petunia's view might not be completely reliable here either... :P (Although I imagine Regulus would be pretty charming...)
Well... I suppose that, while their views are opposite, they are also sort of the same in a way? And yes, Petunia is not a model of virtue, but that's not how Regulus sees it... :P
Ahahah! Yeah, well... this is sort of a parody, it's totally not supposed to be verosimilar... although I guess love at first sight can happen?
Ahahah! It is sort of fun to imagine... I actually have a quite precise headcanon for how their family would be like... maybe one day I'll write more, who knows? :P
Thank you so much for the review, glad you enjoyed the story! :D
Love,
Chiara
Hello again!!!
DanyFire here again for another review for our swap. I absolutely LOVED this story. You portayed everyon so well. This is possibly my new favorite ship now lol. You wrote it so beauticfully. And wrote Petunia perfectly. I never thought I would see this particular pairing, so I was a little surprised. You certainly chose a unique pairing to work with. I hope to read more of your work soon!!!
DanyFore (AKA Meg H.)
Author's Response:Hi again!
I'm glad you enjoyed this story, too! I had a lot of fun with this one as well! :P
Ahahah! Yes, Petunia/Regulus is not a ship you see every day, but it does make sense in some way? :P I'm so glad you enjoyed seeing them paired up and my take on it (as silly as it was...)
Thank you for another sweet review!
Love,
Chiara
Hi Chiara. I’m here for your challenge review.
I must admit. I was first intrigued when I read that the story was for both the What If and the Riddikulus Challenge, but then I realized how much sense it made. One could really go off on a wild tangent (and into a wild relationship) with something as simple as tripping over a trunk.
I find it amusing that Regulus found her full of grace, strong and fierce whereas at the beginning we see her throwing a teenager temper tantrum which her father describes as unfitting for a girl her age. Of course in the books we see her as the latter but perhaps that is more Vernon’s influence (or given her actions in childhood, perhaps not.)
Your words choice and descriptions have always been top notch and this one is keeps to that expectations. The description of 100% pure. . .pure muggle cracked me up and I love the use of Freak 1 and Freak 2 during the conversation at the Evan’s house.
If nothing else, at least Petunia figured something out she never did in the books-Vernon Dursley is a bore.
Regulus’s viewpoint is so ridiculous, perhaps that’s how he ended up in the “riddikulus relationship.” The fact that he’s convinced they are soul mates because she might have been a ballet dancer (and the star of the show of course) and his name is among the stars. They “obviously” have this instant connection.
Even the things he packs when running away make one cringe if this was serious and roll their eyes when we realize that it isn’t. Yes, sir, Regulus. You will survive quite well in the “real world” with a T-shirt, a picture and your teddy bear. At least he didn’t forget his wand.
The proposal scene was hilarious and so unexpected. When he transfigured the ring, I was thinking. “No, Chiara wouldn’t jump straight to that. Perhaps they’ll go for a walk. Perhaps they’ll have more than a two minute exchange before he. . . wait a moment, he’s asking to talk to her father. . .alone. . .and now Regulus is down on one knee.” In the words of Vernon Dudley, “Preposterous!” and oh so funny.
However, the best part is definitely the last part “adorable, freaky little mudbloods” really sums it up and Harry wondering how they ever got married to begin with--he’s always been an insightful boy--sometimes.
This story is highly entertaining and just fun. It demonstrates that the cliches “love at first sight” and “opposites attract” can really be true. . . or maybe not.
Thank you for entering in the challenge. I’ll have the results up soon.
Author's Response:Barbara! :) Thank you so much for this absolutely perfect review, my dear! <3
I thought this would make sense for the What if challenge. Yes, a little episode like tripping over a trunk can really have wild consequences... :P
I think Regulus is not seeing her in the most objective ways... (which makes sense, since they literally met for five minutes... :P) And I also think Petunia can be both things (strong and fierce but also overdramatic teen at the same time) I don't think Vernon's influence in canon helped particularly to bring out the best of her...
So glad my word choice and description seemed to work. :) I did have a lot of fun with both the "purely Muggle" and the "Freak One and Two" bits. :P And yes, Vernon Dursley is the most boring man on earth, let's be Sirius... :P (I have no idea what Petunia saw in him...)
Regulus is being pretty childish about the whole thing, but I loved him that way. I liked the idea of making him a bit of a dreamer and a big romantic... and I think he must be like eighteen at this point, so he is a bit of a child anyway? Wait, do you mean you can't survive in the world with a T-shirt, a picture and a teddy bear? What else would you need? :P
Glad the proposal scene was fun, too. :D A bit abrupt, wasn't it? I did have a bit too much fun with this story... :P
I have pretty clear ideas about their kids, maybe one day I'll write more in this universe, who knows... ;) And yes, Harry can be very insightful, except for when he isn't. :P
So glad you had fun with this story! Thank you so much for the wonderful review! <3 <3 <3
Lots of love,
Chiara
Look at you with a new story! And a very unusual ship, at that. I clicked on the link wondering how on earth you were going to pull that off. XD
This was a wonderfully entertaining read. Like I can totally see the first part being pretty realistic, actually - Petunia is annoyed at wizards, etc, does a double take when she sees Regulus because he's quite good looking and Petunia probably had imagined everyone in the wizarding world grows up to be hags. And his reaction to her isn't so positive at first either, of course.
At this point I thought you were going to try and build up their relationship in a realistic way (clearly I missed the tag that says parody, lol), but what you did was a lot funnier. It was especially funny because I didn't expect it, and then a year goes by and they don't see each other meanwhile Regulus is lost in thoughts of soulmates, then he proposes XD Everything is just chaos, compounded by the fact that James and Sirius are in there as Freak 1 and 2, which was hilarious and also probably realistic to what Petunia would think of them in her head. All this is to say that I really liked the way you played with the idea of what's realistic and what's not and mixed them together to keep me on my toes as a reader.
Everything about Regulus' proposal was so funny. First of all, that he just finds some random rock in the garden. Also, that he tells his mother about his pureblood girlfriend and then like, just walks out one random day to propose to Petunia, like none of the drama that happened when Sirius left home because Regulus just walked out as if it's any old day and he's off to work or something. I suppose there will be drama later when Reg isn't around for it, but just the way he snuck away was so funny to me.
Omg the best line "and their orphan nephew Harry Potter, who spent most of his childhood wondering how the hell had Uncle Regulus and Aunt Petunia ever got married."
Also hilarious was Petunia thinking of Lily as childish for wanting to marry an immature freak, but meanwhile is accepting a marriage proposal from someone she talked to for 2 minutes a year ago. XD
This was really fun! I bet you had a lot of fun writing this :D And I'm glad to see a new story on your page! Thanks for letting me know about it :)
Author's Response:Kristin!!! Thank you so much for stopping by, my love! <3
I'm so glad you had fun with this story! :) Yes, their first encounter was almost believable. :P I had so much fun playing with both of their prejudices but having them feel attracted to each other at the same time. :P
I had a lot of fun with Regulus just obsessing over the idea of Petunia and then just going and proposing to her! And of course James and Sirius would be there and just as shocked as the reader... :P (Petunia would totally call them Freak 1 and 2 in her head... :P)
Yes, Regulus' escape was definitely less dramatic than Sirius'... I guess that's Slytherin vs Gryffindor, though? There would probably a lot of drama later, when Reg isn't around for it...
Ahahah! Poor Harry would be so confused... and yes, it is ridicolous that Petunia would think that of Lily and then accepting Reg's proposal despite hardly knowing him at all... :P
So glad you had fun! I definitely had a lot writing! Thank you so much for stopping by!
Love you!
Chiara
Ahhhh hello Chiara! This story was so wonderful! It was funny and silly and romantic all at once! I think you did a great job with it!
So their encounter was wonderfully believable. I love that it seems as if fate brought them together, and that they were both instantly attracted but also a little bit disgusted with one another! I can absolutely understand how Petunia wouldn't be able to see Vernon the same way again after meeting Regulus!
I love how Regulus followed in his brother's footsteps (... um, literally) and left Grimmauld Place - and to be with the one he loves, aw! James and Sirious are HILARIOUS (of course - you wrote them!) and I love how in Petunia's mind they are Freak 1 and Freak 2. I especially loved when they were scrambling over one another to listen at the door!
Of course, it's just so hilarious that he proposed to Petunia straight away like that, after just one meeting over a year ago :P but it was pretty romantic too! When you know you know, I guess! And then poor Harry in the future just being utterly bewildered at how his aunt and uncle got together, haha!
Thanks for an entertaining story! And good luck in the challenge, my love!
Author's Response:B!!! Shake-what, my dear?
I'm so glad you enjoyed this little story! So glad you enjoyed their encounter and found it sort of believable! Honestly, Vernon wouldn't stand comparison, would he? :P
I wish Regulus had followed in his brother's steps in canon... :( But at least he escaped here! :) Sirius and James are my boys, what can I say? :P I had a bit too much fun calling them Freak 1 and 2 in Petunia's head... :P
Yeah, Regulus just proposing to her like that was kind of ridicolous, but that's why this is a parody... :P And yes, poor Harry, not really getting how those two got together in the first place. :D
Thank you for the lovely review, darling! <3 <3 <3
Hey there!
I am here for our review Swap~!
FIRST and I had to say, I adore your Petunia character. The concept of not only a riddikulus pair such as Regulus Black and Petunia Evans is GOLD and might I add that this would be a really cool AU if Petunia raised Harry in this realtionship instead of with Vernon.
Their "meet cute" was indeed that: so adorably cute. I absolutely thought that you wrote Petunia perfectly and that her draw to Regulus was so believable the way you write it!
The concept of soulmates that Regulus believes in warms my heart! The fact that he is so traditional too is beautiful. 1 year is such a long time for him to still be obsessing over the thing he supposedly hates and I love that he has such an obvious devotion to her after a meeting that lasted but 5 minutes.
I feel like the story was very well written, and that the way you voiced Petunia was perfect. she nicknaming Sirius and James: Freak one and two was hilarious and so very Petunia-like. the ending was so cute, and I get a feeling you will be writing more?
I hope so!
LB
Author's Response:Lexi! <3
Two months later, I'm finally here to reply to this lovely review...
I'm so glad you liked my Petunia in this. I think Harry's life would've definitely been better. Not perfect, but better. I actually have a very precise headcanon for Petunia and Regulus' children and who knows, maybe one day I'll write more in this universe... :P
So glad you found their meeting cute! And that you liked Regulus' belief in soulmates and how traditional he is (I mean, he's a Black, of course he is traditional... :P) Yes, it's crazy that he would be so obsessed after meeting her for 5 minutes... but that's why this is a parody :P
Petunia calling James and Sirius Freak 1 and 2 was one of the funniest things for me! :P I don't really have plans to write more anytime soon, but as I said I have headcanons, so maybe one day? ;)
Thank you so much for the review and the swap!
Chiara
Oh my god, Chiara. This is so precious!
I was intrigued by this ship from the moment you mentioned it (and tbh I always always am wildly in favour of anything anti-Vernon) but I never expected it to be this good.
It was a rollercoaster ride, I always kept fearing you'd break them up and that would have broken my heart because you made me ship them so much. They are so perfect together, because you take them so serious as characters and let them remain the snobbish, imperfect, arrogant, annoying gits they are, but having those two develop real profound feelings for each other was all the more sweet for how rude they are usually.
Your writing is so vivid and you had me rooting for them, laughing out loud at times and holding my breath at others… I was personally very gratified to read the bit about Petunia breaking up with Vernon and I adored your last and second to last paragraphs, I have hardly ever read a parody that manages to toe the line from ridiculous to serious so perfectly. It's like I could hear your voice telling the story and your words were all so serious and grave, but all the time the tone let me know you were not 100% serious and then that last part was like you giving the reader one last wink in closing.
One hundred percent pure muggle - you really are onto something with their similarities in hating each other's heritage so wholely. This sort of bigoted thinking gives me headaches most days in real life, and it was incredibly freeing to be able to smile indulgently about it / laugh about it wholeheartedly.
I keep thinking that I must get to reading your longer stories, they must be pure gold, with your talent, but there's never enough time… I will get to them at one point though, I promise!
Chiara, you are really a wonderful person and your writing is wonderful too. I'm sending lots of hugs and good thoughts your way!
Love,
Jo
Author's Response:Jo!!! <3 <3 <3
I'm so glad you enjoyed this little story... and yes, I'm very much anti-Vernon as well... :P
Ahahah! I do think Reg and Tuney are actually pretty similar and that they would work together well (sort of...) I'm so glad I made you ship them, and that you found their feelings for each other endearing, despite (or maybe especially) them being the arrogant, prejudiced gits they are :P Glad you felt I managed the balance between serious and ridicolous well, too. :D
I'm also so glad I managed to make you laugh over bigoted thinking a little as well! *hug*
YOU are wonderful! Thank you so, so much for this adorable review!
Love,
Chiara
Hi Chiara! I’m here to review your story and I’m delighted to meet you. :-)
I wanted to let you know first that I think there is a typo here:’ended up on the backsit’ should be backseat.
Now that that’s out of the way, I want to tell you that this story is adorable! I giggled the whole way through it. I really like how you took Petunia, who is so unlikeable in the HP novels, and made me think she was cute. She was a young lady once, and she felt as though she was not as loved as her sister. So she dealt with that by trying to belittle her sister and dismiss the wizarding world as a bunch of ‘freaks.’ That is a sad, but understandable reaction, and I love how you’ve given us this story from her point of view.
One of the things that I particularly liked is how you kept using the word ‘Freaks’ throughout the piece. It was like the refrain of a song and it tied the whole thing together. I felt a bit sorry for Petunia at the beginning—I can remember being a teenager and not wanting to go along with my parents on an errand and being forced to anyway. You’ve captured her mood so well and her bitter feelings about the Wizard Freaks. And I enjoyed the mention of Vernon and how she expected him to propose soon (gag).
Then you take us into an absolutely adorable ‘meet cute.’ I love that Petunia goes toppling over Regulus Black’s trunk. Of all the people to run into!! And I love her thought process—that he’s stunning, a gentleman, an angel. Wow, she’s got it bad. Their exchange of banter was very funny too—he seems amused that she calls him a freak and she takes his backhanded compliment in stride. I love that Petunia then dumps Vernon, even though she’s only had this one encounter with Regulus. Good for her!! There’s other fish in the sea.
Regulus can’t seem to get over Petunia, so he runs away from home to start a new life with her. I really liked when he transfigures an engagement ring for her. He’s so romantic and sweet!
I had a good laugh when he finds Sirius and James already at the Potter house, especially as Petunia refers to Lily’s friends as Freak One and Freak Two. Too funny.
The fact that Regulus is not a Death Eater in this story and that he is going to get away from his terrible past makes me wish that it had really happened. The scene where Regulus goes to ask Mr. Evans for Petunia’s hand in marriage was super sweet and I loved the description of their wedding with all the lovely white and blue petunias. I had another giggle that Sirius had to be the best man, because there wasn’t really anyone else for the job and that Sirius had a hard time keeping himself from laughing.
The sweet parting detail about the Blacks “raising their four kids—adorable, freaky little mud-bloods” and Harry Potter makes me really wish that this was the way it had happened. I bet Petunia would have been a much nicer lady if it had.
Thank you for writing this absolutely adorable story!
Author's Response:Hello, Noelle! Thank you for stopping by! And sorry if it took me a bit to reply to your review! <3
Thank you for the typo, I fixed it ;)
I'm so glad you enjoyed the story and found it amusing. I'm also glad that you could like Petunia a little better here. She's still not the most likable character, but her resentment towards her sister is partially understandable, and I'm glad you liked seeing things through her eyes.
Glad you liked the repetition of freaks and that you felt it helped tying it all together. I guess that's just the way Petunia is? :P I suppose we all got annoyed to our parents dragging us along on errands at least once in our lives. :P Glad you enjoyed the mention of Vernon, too. :)
Petunia bumping into Regulus was absolutely delightful to write. :P And yes, she's got it bad. But I suppose Regulus would do that effect. After all it is said that Sirius was pretty good looking, and if we assume the two brothers resembled each other... ;) Glad you enjoyed their banter. And yay for Petunia breaking up with Vernon as well. There are definitely better options out there. :D
Glad you found Regulus running away from home and transfiguring the ring sweet! :)
And yes, I had a bit too much fun putting James and Sirius there. I love all the drama. :P
I really wish this was how it went, too. Regulus' story is one of the most heartbreaking of the series (there are a lot of heartbreaking backstories, to be honest... but the way Regulus died, and the fact that no one ever knew, makes me so sad every single time...) I'm so glad you liked Regulus asking Petunia's hand to her father and then the description of the wedding. :D And of course Sirius struggling to stay serious at the ceremony (no pun intended :P)
I'm so glad you liked the closing, too, with Regulus and Petunia raising their four children and Harry. Harry wouldn't have had a perfect childhood in this universe either, but definitely better than what he got with the Dursleys. ;)
Thank you so much for the lovely review!!!
Snowball hug,
Chiara
WHAT?!
Well.. this is, well.. I have absolutely no words for how BRILLIANT this is.
I love everyone's shock, including my own when Regulus causally just pops the question, I also love how Petunia breaks up with Vernon, I've never had any love for that man.. she could always have done so much better.
I honestly love the idea of Petunia/Regulus, one day I hope to follow in your footsteps and maybe write a little one-shot of my own featuring these two.
Thank you for bringing this amazing pairing to life and allowing me to read it through my challenge. Your writing is wonderful, keep the stories coming!!! I can't wait to read what else you write.
- Alice x
Author's Response:Alice! :D
Ah, I'm so glad you enjoyed the story! It was wonderful to take part in your challenge and finally be able to write it, because it's one I'd been working on/thinking about for ages, so I'm so grateful you gave me the push I needed! Thank you so much! <3
Ahahah! The proposal was pretty unexpected, wasn't it? Glad you liked everyone's shock, and that you were shocked a bit too. :P And yay for Petunia breaking up with Vernon! I've never liked Vernon at all, she definitely could have done much better! ;)
Ahahah! If you do write a Regulus/Petunia, please send me a link. I would love to read it. :D
Thank you so much again! It means a lot that you enjoyed the story! And thank you for hosting the challenge again! <3
Love,
Chiara
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