Name: down-in-flames (Signed) · Date: 12 Feb 2020 07:32 PM · For: contrecoup

and i’m back with number 2. :)

 

wow ok someone needs to give lily a hug here. she’s still clearly in shock from everything that’s happened, and she’s turned to completely blaming herself for everything, so much of which definitely isn’t her fault at all. she’s managed to take every little thing about this situation and turn it back on herself somehow - even the fact that she’s covered in sirius’ blood from literally trying to save him from bleeding out is something she’s done wrong somehow. but it doesn’t feel overdone, it just feels like this is exactly how she’s processing the situation.

 

but truly lily, ‘because james decided to fancy me’? surely you know that james would be fighting this war no matter whether or not he’s dating you - i’m glad remus manages to talk some sense into her there.

 

i love the picture of james arguing with the healers that sirius is his brother in order to be able to see him - that checks out completely.

 

james as a whole is brilliant here - he’s exactly what lily needs in this moment, being the voice of reason and reminding her that not only is what happened not her fault at all, but she actually *saved* sirius’ life. and the whole bit about how having both magic and muggle experiences giving her an advantage rather than a disadvantage rings incredibly true; there’s SO MUCH that the wizarding world just like... doesn’t teach that’s actually kind of super valuable information to have. like how to staunch a deep wound.

 

all in all i’m just really here for good heartfelt jily moments and this chapter was great for that. <3 also once again, couldn’t tell you where y’all switched off for the life of me, you guys are seriously too good at this.

 

-taylor

Name: down-in-flames (Signed) · Date: 12 Feb 2020 07:30 PM · For: savoir-faire

hi kayla, here for our swap!! i realised as i came to your ap that i have essentially reviewed almost all of your recent solo writing, so now i’ve moved onto collab fics (so also hi emma!)

 

i’m gonna go ahead and say that i’ve failed hard mode because i literally could not tell you for the life of me where y’all switched off. the whole thing flows seamlessly and honestly if i didn’t know both of y’all wrote this i would’ve assumed it was all written by the same person.

 

i love the opening of this - it’s a nice callback to the fact that lily went to muggle school for a while and that’s shaped her views on the world even now that she’s fully in the wizarding world. i can imagine a war doesn’t feel like much of one when it doesn’t have all the things we typically associate with war.

 

and then you throw us straight into the battle, and it’s *intense*. but i love the way that sirius and lily are still true to theirselves at the beginning here, trading snarky comments while dodging curses. 

 

and then of course severus fucking snape shows up and fucks shit up. (god i’m glad we’re allowed to say fuck in reviews now, i'm exclusively going to refer to snape as severus fucking snape from now on)

 

this whole scene is terrifying, but absolutely brilliantly written. sirius trying to crack a joke and lily playing along just to humor him even though she’s panicking the whole time, and finally she’s at the point of desperation that she’s having to check if he’s still breathing because he’s bleeding out so much that he’s nearly dead. it’s a very literal interpretation of back to the brink in that sirius is very literally on the brink of death here, and lily’s desperation throughout this is just so palpable.

 

thank god for moody and alice arriving just in the nick of time - i love this little peek of alice we get here, she very much seems like a motherly mentor-type figure to lily, which is kind of exactly how i envision her. but at least they allow sirius to get to mungo’s, and he’s going to be okay.

 

this was a roller coaster of a chapter, and i’m really intrigued to see where this story goes from here.

 

-taylor

Name: 800 words of heaven (Signed) · Date: 09 Dec 2019 08:46 AM · For: contrecoup

Hello again, Kayla and Emma! I'm back with another gift review :)

 

Aww! This chapter was actually really cute. I loved reading the Marauders and Lily together, fretting over Sirius, and trying to look after each other. It was really lovely to read the boys being supportive in their own ways, even Peter. Lily mentions that she thinks it's weird that Peter missed the point when he told her the time, but she kinda asked? Honestly, I think I would've done the same as Peter in that scenario. Peter Pettigrew has never been so relatable.

 

I forgot to mention this in the last chapter, but it struck me as so odd that the Healer offered to clean Lily up. That definitely doesn't happen in Muggle hospitals. But then, the gesture was only offered once? Was it because she said no, and said she was fine? Like, someone could still have pointed her in the direction of a bathroom or something, if they'd made the offer in the first place! Very strange behaviour, St Mungo's staff.

 

This was a great chapter, too. Well done, guys! This collab has read as quite seamless to me.

xx 800

Name: 800 words of heaven (Signed) · Date: 09 Dec 2019 07:04 AM · For: savoir-faire

Hey, Kayla and Emma! Here to leave a gift review!

 

Well, this was intense! I think my butt was clenched the entire time those spells were going off - probably until the moment when Sirius was hit. I liked the way you characterised Lily. At first, I was really annoyed with her through this chapter, because it seemed as if she just wasn't able to handle the situation. Like, she couldn't figure out how to stop the bleeding, and she was getting distracted by thoughts of Snape and all I wanted to do was yell GIRL, GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME! But then I remembered that she's hecking nineteen in this chapter and that's very very young, especially to be in such hectic duels. And it's not like she's likely to have had any first aid training, or anything. She was doing remarkably well, actually. I came around to her perspective, eventually :P

 

Gosh, Snape is the worst, here. It was also lovely to see one of the Longbottoms in action. I've mostly read stories of that moment where they're about to be tortured, so it's great to read them pre-torture and as very competent senior Aurors. Despite the circumstances in which Alice was introduced as a character, the change in their usual characterisation was a delight to read.

 

This was a very interesting first chapter, and I'm interested to see where this story goes next. If you'd called it a day at the end of this chapter, I think it would've worked very well as a one-shot, too. But hooray! I have more story to read!

 

xx 800

Name: Noelle Zingarella (Signed) · Date: 07 May 2019 04:26 PM · For: savoir-faire

Hi! I’m here for April 2019 CTF.

 

I am highly amused that Lily and Sirius are in the middle of a battle in a public park, and still manage to both look cool and notice the state of each other’s clothing. Sirius’s remark about how it’s a shame that Lily’s coolest trousers were ruined by a curse took me by surprise and made me laugh. But, I think it shows us how young—and optimistic—these two characters are. They haven’t been in enough battles yet to know how to hyper-focus I suppose. And they haven’t seen enough people get hurt or injured.

 

And then, Sirius is mortally wounded by that pesky Sectumsempra curse. The ensuing action is disorienting and desperate as Lily attempts to care for Sirius, knowing that he might die. You captured the dire nature of the situation very well and it was a huge relief when reinforcements arrive.

 

I loved your characterization of Alice, even though we only see her briefly. Something about her calm, competent nature struck me as very appealing. I wonder if Neville would have been that way from the beginning if he had not effectively lost his parents before he could remember them.

 

I’m glad that the Healer basically ordered Lily to stay put and not to go back to the battle. I can’t imagine her doing anything other than getting herself—and maybe someone else—killed if she had gone back in her traumatized state.

 

Nice work!

 

Yours,

Noelle

Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 07 May 2019 04:01 PM · For: savoir-faire

 

Hey!

 

here for ctf.

 

I kinda wasn't expecting this from Lily's POV but I love what you've done with this chapter. I thought it was really effective how you explored Lily's previous experiences of War in the opening for this chapter in contrast to this very real situation that she is now in something that she never really imagined before. I really love the bit when she was reminded of her childhood through that burning wood of the tree. I just like that little detail and the nostalgic feeling it has.

 

I love Sirius in this so much, how he goes to help Lily and his little comment about her trousers! I love that you've given up such a fun sense of humour even in this difficult time. I thought that injury to Sirius was beautifully played. The moment when Remus notices that Sirius is hurt. Lily's confusion and how scared she is comes across so clearly and it packs an emotional punch.

 

I love the contrast and humour that Sirius brings to this scene with his joke about Lily wanting to steal Remus from him and her playing along with it to keep the mood light. I feel like it's very Sirius thing to do to make jokes in time of need. I think we know that Sirius always enjoyed the thrill of battle but being hurt is something different to I did enjoy how you could bring that balance into this scene. it did wonders for characterisation between the characters too.

 

I wasn't sure where the ending of this chapter was going because I wasn't sure if it was going to be AU and I was seriously wondering if you were planning to kill off Sirius. It didn't seem likely but the writing felt that intense that I thought it was a possibility! I was so glad when Alice and Moody arrived to help them out. I wanted to say that I'm aware it's joint effort between the two of you. I thought it flowed really well and I can't really tell which bits are written by who honestly. it read well and felt really smooth throughout. well done!

 

- Abbi xx

 

Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 14 Apr 2019 01:53 PM · For: savoir-faire

Hey Kayla! Here for our swap! 

 

You and Emma are such a dynamic duo, a shining example of one of the many benefits of a writing community such as HPFT. 

 

The opening of this piece is harrowing in is descriptions of war. These images of trenches, air raids, etc. are familiar to me--not because I experienced them but because I, too, had learned about these wars wihle in school. But then your description of the First War, the one Lily has signed up to fight in... also harrowing. The more I contemplate the events of these wars in the HP-verse, the more I come to understand their complexities, their destructive natures--not only in outward forms of violence (which is more of what I imagined when I was a kid reading the books for the first time) but the systemic injustices, the mind games, the trickery. You do such an incredible job capturing this in the opening bits, and you show just how high the stakes are.

 

And then Lily's reflection of just exactly who the Death Eaters are... that is a chilling part of this story. It's so easy to get swept up in speculation because you want to see justice and there's a sense of betrayal (re: Severus) and resentment (re: Lily's dehumanization). It takes a lot of mental strength to bring yourself back to the present, especially in this battle, where, as Lily joltingly realizes, she DOES know at least one Death Eater, her former childhoos friend... 

 

Poor Sirius! And Remus! And Lily! This is NOT good, totally not good, and I am fearing for Sirius's life here. At this point, people have to fulfill roles, and for Remus to keep fighting and not to stay at his boyfriend's side takes so much strength... especially now that they are all literally in survival mode. I love how you capture the uncertainties in everyone before they settle on a decision: Remus with continuing to fight after giving Lily instructions, Lily in trying to save Sirius's life through her patchy knowledge and experience of Healing, even Sirius's joke to try to lighten the mood...

 

It's a relief when Alice and Moody show up, and Alice, depsite being in the thick of a battle, is so gentle and reassuring with Lily (while maintaining her fierce Auror self). This is exactly who I envision Alice to be! 

 

The end of this chapter... gah, way to leave a cliffhanger! There's some relief, some hope that Sirius is going to be okay, but he's been hit with a nasty spell, and even though they're away from the battle, the fight isn't over yet... 

 

What a great opening chapter. I will definitely be back to finish it! :)