Name: lovegood27 (Signed) · Date: 26 Jan 2019 07:03 PM · For: Chapter 1 Only One Side

Hello! I’m here for Magical Menagerie :)

Oh God, poor Draco! As if having to deal with a newborn baby and sleep deprivation isn’t enough, he has to go and get himself cancer. I’ve never been in his position, but I relate to the feeling of not knowing whether you’re looking too deeply into something, or if it’s genuinely a cause for concern. I have a bad feeling about what’s going to happen to him next, though… :(

I have to say that I really liked your beginning. It’s reminiscent of the DH epilogue, only we get to see it from Draco’s POV with all his thoughts on Scorpius leaving (without any biased commentary, looking at you, Ron). It was so sweet, because he seems to be a much better man, more mature and learned from his mistakes at Hogwarts. His love for Scorpius jumps out at the reader, in the 9 ¾ scene and when his son is a baby, and it’s wonderful seeing that loving side of Draco. I feel sad for him, because he’s right, Scorpius is his only one.

“He thinks my childhood is in the Middle Ages” made me laugh. Children are never exactly the best judge of time/age and always think grown ups are ancient.

Great work so far!

Author's Response:

Yes, speaking as a mother I can say that it's always hard when your children leave home.  I can't fathom sending them off to boarding school when they're only eleven years old.  

Thank you for saying that you liked the way the story opened.  It's a challenge to write stretches of narrative that reiterate what JKR gave us in her story, without sounding as if you're just copying her narrative, so I guess that using someone else's POV is the way to go.  I hope you read the rest of the story -- it was interesting to write about this.  Thank you so much for the nice review.  Vicki

Name: Noelle Zingarella (Signed) · Date: 25 Jan 2019 11:16 PM · For: Chapter 1 Only One Side

I am writing this review as part of the Magical Menagarie for the Smelly Bundimun. I'm brand new on this site, and this is my first review, so if I mess anything up, I appologize in advance!Hello Oregonian, this is Noelle Zingarella.

This is a wonderful start! I am so interested in what happens next. Draco Malfoy is a character that has grown on me more and more over time, and I think it's very interesting to read about him as an adult. 

Your description of the scene at the start is lovely. I could picture everything, but it wasn't as though you were simply quoting from the books. I thought it was particularly nice how you explored Draco’s thoughts about Scorpius leaving. It really hit me in the heart when Draco realizes that he and his wife will be sad because no matter what they do they’ll always miss Scorpius. I also loved when Draco realizes that Scorpius has no idea, and that he had no idea when he was a child either. Ooo, and it was very funny how Draco notices that Scorpius thinks Draco is an old man who could not possibly remember his own childhood.

 

The flashback to Draco walking colicky Scorpius is wonderful! I love this image of rich kid Draco Malfoy being a hands-on, sleep deprived new father. It’s delightful. I also love that there are no magic potions or spells, and that the Healers tell the new parents to just suck it up and wait for it to end. (I  have four children of my own, so this scene was pretty familiar, you nailed it :-). 

 

I was totally thrown for a loop by Draco finding a lump! AHHH!! I suppose that wizards are human too, and that they would get cancer just like everyone else, but I hope he’ll be okay! I’ll be back when you post more. Keep up the good work :-).

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for the lovely review, Noelle.  Al least you know something abbout how the Magical Menagerie thing works -- I'm still trying to figure it out!  I've entered all the chapters into the queue, so now it's up to the validators as to how fast the chapters appear.  My concept of Draco is that he has changed his mind about many things since the end of the Second Wizarding War, in the way that kids, as they become adults, often turn away from the practices of their parents (religion, politics, parenting philosophy, attitudes toward money, etc), so that he can be less of a jerk in his more mature years, having learned some painful lessons the hard way.   Vicki