Name: LadyMarauder (Signed) · Date: 12 Dec 2019 07:42 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hi! I'm here for your Christmas wishlist.

 

Oh my word, this was hysterical! I cackled the whole way through - it was such a unique way of engineering a revenge plot. I certainly wasn't expecting what I've just read, but after all, there's nothing quite like a woman scored, eh? Also, I loved that it was Lewelle that invented that really complicated spell, just to get her cheating boyfriend back. I usually avoid mpreg stories as they're not really my cup of tea, but as this was written in such a funny way, it really made it an enjoyable read.

 

I loved that each scene was to the point - I know there was word limit -  but it really kept the pace going and it really worked well for this story. Also, I really enjoyed reading about all these characters and how they dealt with the pregnancies. Sirius being supported by James's mum was such a lovely touch, especially when Madam Pomfrey referred to his mother coming to visit and he freaked out thinking it was his actual mother, which would have been a complete disaster. I loved it.

 

I thought it was actually hilarious that Dumbledore just completely accepted what was happening with the boys, with just a twinkle in his eye. His advice to pretty much just get on with it as women have to do it every day, was really brilliant. Great job!

 

Merry Christmas! - Tasha x

Author's Response:

Thanks Tasha. I'm glad the story could brighten your day. I also love the part when Sirius's  "mom" comes to see him. It's one of my favorite along with Jocelyn making an "honest man" out of her boyfriend. 

Name: Veritaserum27 (Signed) · Date: 10 Jun 2019 02:15 AM · For: Chapter 1

Hi there!

 

I'm here from the BvB review tag in the common room for this rather lovely story!

 

Oh boy, (haha - or girl!) this was particlularly fabulout to read.  Normally, I am NOT a fan of teenage pregnancy fics, but this was so beutfully tongue-in-cheek, that I couldn't hold a smile off my face while I was reading it.  You did a really gread job with the execution, and nothing seemd rushed or contrived.  I adore the fact that a witch was so skillfull as to come up with and execute such a brilliantly deviant revenge for her responsibility-dogding boyfriend.  He completely deserved what he got in the end and it was so satifying to read!

 

I really like that you found a way to portray almost every scenario.  As per usual, MOST of the girls were more empathetic and supportive than the boys would've been.  At some point, I would guess that Dumbledore would feel the need to include some additional curriculum for the students - perhaps a parenting or sexual ethics class?

 

I'm just imagining the end result of all this... there should be some veeeeeery interesting labor and delivery scenes.  Haha - I can only picture what poor Sirius will be going through.  And my heart is just bursting for Oscar and Max.  Though they are young, and this is likely something they never considered possible, they might be able to see it as a blessing if they were a bit older.  However, I don't really envy any teenager in this situation.  I feel like they have a tough road ahead. 

 

The way you chose to tell this story makes for an easy read.  I really liked the short and to-the-point scenes.  You have a brilliant way of giving your reader all of the pertinent details, drawing up fantasitic images, and finding a way to make us chuckle at every turn.  Great job!!

Author's Response:

Thanks for the review.  I thought briefly about the labor and delivery and then decided I really didn't want to think about. I'm probably being sexists with this statement but there are certain things men just couldn't handle. :) I had other scenes but alas word limits are just so. . . . well, limiting.

 

Name: Renacera (Signed) · Date: 29 Jan 2019 05:53 PM · For: Chapter 1

Well, this was definitely unique! I can't say that I've ever read an mpreg story, since I wouldn't consider them my particular cup of tea, but this was a good way to make that trope funny!

I really did laugh several times throughout this! I have to compliment you on that. I especially loved the line, "with tentacles longer than the Giant Squid and information flying faster than a pixie with its pants on fire"! That's so clever and well-written for a Harry Potter fanfic, and I love that you were able to work something so apt into this story.

I can't say that I blame Lewelle for wanting revenge on Deolopian! I know I would've been furious if my boyfriend had gotten me pregnant and then denied that he was the father. So I think she definitely took the Slytherin route of getting revenge. And I loved at the end that her friends were in on it. Though, it also sort of implied that they'd slept with Lewelle's boyfriend when she was dating him, so that's got to be an interesting friendship these girls have.

You did a great job using the different pregnancies for comedic effect. And I loved when Sirius was supported by Mrs. Potter in the hospital wing instead of his biological mother (who, we all know, wouldn't have come to see him anyway). The other boys had such mixed reactions! I laughed for some and "aww'd" for others. I was surprised to find sweet moments in such a comedic story. Well done!

So, though this was definitely out of my regular reading zone, I think you did really well with it! Good job!

—Emily

Author's Response:

I am going to have to rewrite the end. You are the second person that thought he slept with all those girls. It was supposed to be that the girls said he slept with them so he couldn't pin the pregnancy on any one girl-just like he did to Lewelle at the beginning. The story is sitting at 2,495 words and it look a lot of crying and delete button to get it there. I'll edit it after the Collab competition when word counts don't matter. 

Name: lovegood27 (Signed) · Date: 20 Jan 2019 12:21 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hi! Here for Magical Menagerie! :)

This was a fun story to read, and the idea of a girl creating a spell that makes boys pregnant as revenge is very original. The beginning was pretty to the point, which I liked, there wasn’t any unnecessary build up but just straight up...Lewelle is pregnant. I know you had a word limit and all that, but it did get me engaged in the storyline quickly. Her boyfriend is SUCH a jerk, though, he totally deserved what he got. Paying other boys to avoid getting mixed up in a scandal (there are...a surprising number of hook-ups at Hogwarts it seems). And he cheated on his next girlfriend too! Ugh. But it made the ending all the more satisfying ;)

I really enjoyed reading about all those different little scenes with various couples, seeing how each one dealt with the situation. There were some cute moments and some humorous ones which balanced things out. I loved the scene with Jocelyn and Robert! She’s completely unfazed by his pregnancy, and flips over the classic men propose idea.

The Marauders’ interactions were hilarious (‘porcelain god’ is a new one). I was laughing in their first scene where they’re discussing what Sirius was ‘revising’ and the wittiness is just on point. I’m definitely on board with Madam Pomfrey calling Euphemia! She was so sweet and perfectly played the role of the loving parent Sirius deserves, it was really heartwarming. Kudos to James for waiting haha, when even Peter got himself pregnant loll...and do I see the beginnings of JILY ROMANCE?? ;)

Those scenes were my favourites but I did love the others too. Poor Willow, I’m so glad things worked out for her! And Oscar and Max, they seem so awkward and they’re BOTH pregnant oh gosh. In their position, I’d find Madam Pomfrey’s suggestion entirely reasonable XD

Great job on this! :)

Author's Response:

Thanks. My New Year's Resolution was to write only fluff, so I tried to do a mix of humor and sweet. The word count was a bit of a problem. I had to cut one scene short and delete a whole scenerio about Remus. Thanksfully, some other Claws knocked it down for me to 2495 words.