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Howdy yet another time!
Since I have read the rest of them, I figured I would go ahead a read the final chapter as well, especially given how I'm enjoying it!
This piece about Remus is just really tragic. It paints a real picture of what he faced as the war rolled on and to go his last days at Hogwarts, to James and Lily's wedding, to the Christmas dinner described here, to...hell - it's very difficult to imagine a man overcoming that - especially given his status as a pariah. And he couldn't be with his only family either because of his father's continued grieving. There have to be few people who've ever felt so alone.
Unsurprisingly then we're left with a shattered Remus - all he doesn't want to do is reflect on the death of his friends and the betrayal - but it's also all he can.
This has been an excellent story. Thanks for sharing!
Howdy again!
I liked reading this take on Sirius's experience in Azkaban. Of course we get the prelude to it as well, but I found his experience at the prison to be a much more interesting part of the story. An open question has always been how he survived all those years without suffering the same fate as others, but yours felt the most believeable. The way he waited on the word of a dead and possibly (probably) imaginary James for all the time he did was a very unique take. Really the 'conversations' with James period were a unique wrinkle that I liked reading.
Thanks for sharing!
Howdy howdy howdy!
Ah, Snape and his obsession with Lily. His vision of he and Lily's future together is disgustingly creepy. I think I've seen (but did not read) a fic before where this actually happened (other than the part where Lily ACTUALLY was into him), but it still freaks me out that a person could be so deluded and in such a disgusting way like...oh, my boss murdered your child (he's dead hooray), now's my opportunity.
In any event, I thought it rang very true to who he was and we also get the nice tidbit at the end where Sirius turns up. A part of me wonders whether he actually figured out he discovered that night who the true traitor was and just wanted to get a perverse revenge on Sirius.
Thanks for sharing!
Howdy once more!
I really enjoyed this chapter because it's got a unique focus (at least for me). I have never read much about Voldemort's actual thinking in the immediate run-up to killing James and Lily and not much about the details of Peter's betrayal.
Here we actually got the tidbit that Peter was at least tortured for the information. I think he's often seen as he gets afraid, rolls over, and sells his friends out. Even though he is driven by fear to turn mole, he does hold on to the secret of Lily and James's location until 'the end' such as it was. So it's a bit of a character improvement versus the usual depiction, even though he's still horrible.
Getting into Voldemort's actions too was interesting. You don't really think of him as human much - just a monster - but here he is chilling, drinking wine, and musing on his evil. You absolutely see that evil we all know in his musings, but it was different. It's interesting how casually he considers death until he considers his own.
Thanks for sharing!
Howdy howdy howdy!
This story was thankfully happier than the last chapter! I definitely feel James as far as fatherhood goes. Parenthood generally is that way for everybody I think - at least the first go around (I wouldn't know about later) because you've never done it before, it obviously is a huge responsibility, and the only clues you have about what to do are - for better or worse - your parents/family and potentially your spouse or partner's parents/family. There's so much to digest and I think especially in James's situation where he's basically alone at this age (James and Lily had a good honeymoon I guess) in terms of friends having kids makes it even scarier.
I think the conclusion was really well-written as far as those hospital emotions go and that moment you first see your kid. Wow.
Thanks for sharing!
Howdy Rose!
I thought this was a really interesting look at Lily in this period (and on this day). I think a lot of people just mention 'oh, nerves' when they write about wedding day jitters in fic and then make it more comedic or sappy at the end, but you actually took it seriously - both in the context of the war and the worry that people have about the permanence of marriage and love amid later growth and change. I just left this out of Evolution for the sake of a purely fluffy ending myself.
I think I've honestly only read one other story about the wedding and shut-in period that was serious. And this straddled the line between reflective and ultimately much more positive and then a really dark fic where there are bad problems between James and Lily and they're both kind of in a regret, WTF did we do mode.
But very well done.
Thanks for sharing!
Alrighty, it’s the last chapter, and of course it’s the saddest boi of them all, Remus Lupin. How dare you :P Oh Remus, of course you poor, poor soul you put the blame on yourself for James and Lily’s death, and for Peter’s subsequent supposed murder and Sirius’s lockup in Azkaban. He always blames himself because of his lycanthropy, and oh boy does that just make my heart ache so much for him.
BRB I’m just gonna go sob in a corner now with that flashback to Christmas 1980 with everyone still alive and little fifth month old Harry [insert sob emoji] This is too effing cute and happy and DOMESTIC with ALL of the Marauders. You capture everyone’s personalities so well in such few words, and clearly indicate who is most at ease with babies of Sirius and Remus, which I greatly appreciate. The Quidditch talk and then the bet and banter afterwards is just something I want to fully enjoy and think “oh this is so precious” but I can’t, because I know there’s a war on, and that they’re all going to be apart very very soon. I really can’t take it when you cut back to Remus alone at his fireplace in his little house, with everyone either dead or locked up. I just can’t take it, Rose! I think it’s fitting that you ended this series with Remus, though. He’s the last one standing out of all of them, technically, so it’s sadly poetic, in a sense.
Even though you emotionally wrecked me throughout the entire piece, I think that the formatting and choice of which part of the Litany Against Fear you chose for each character was very carefully done and I appreciate that so much! Thanks for breaking my heart five times over and made me think one time (voldie). Wonderful story <3
~Madi
Oh boy it’s time for Sirius’s Litany Against Fear and I’m not sure how ready I am for this chapter. Of course you give Sirius the angsty part, whyyyy?! I mean, I know he’s an angsty character to begin with, but man you just went OFF with it in this chapter. Just peep me sitting on my couch basically sobbing over this chapter, all right? That’s how angsty you’ve made me feel over Sirius Black, a character I don’t usually feel so emotional about! The James in his head just breaks my heart but hey if it helps Sirius deal with his grief, then it’s okay. I think it’s portrayed very well how Sirius is not dealing with his grief very well at all, hence the conversations in his head with James that are theoretically keeping him mildly tethered to reality, or are an escape from reality for him. You do a fantastic job of showing rather than telling about the beginning of his experience in Azkaban, and the passage of time doesn’t seem disjointed or weird -- it makes sense that he might not know exactly how much time has passed, but rather than he eventually comes to a realization that he can’t just sit here and wallow in grief for his best mate and godson he’ll never know. He’s an intelligent man, and I’m SO GLAD you’ve written him to fight back for his life and his freedom and learn how to do wandless magic again, and eventually turn into his big black dog animagus form again! It’s something I’ve never really read about in fic before, so I doubly appreciate you showing that part of his escape from Azkaban here. And then his final conversation with mind-James, ugh, what a best friend he is to his now dead mate. Sirius is ready and willing to do what it takes to get out of Azkaban and protect Harry when he needs it. I. LOVE.
~Madi
Okay so now we’re onto Snape’s chapter, which I was really looking forward to for several reasons. First, I get to see a new take on what he does when he learns of what has happened to Lily after Voldemort has decided to attack the Potters. So first of all, I really enjoy your perception of Snape here and what his role is with Voldemort versus the Order of the Phoenix, and how much care he has to take to do anything, especially when it’s a transfer of information either way, but primarily when it’s being given to Voldemort’s cronies. Snape’s assessment of who he’s meeting with each time for this information exchange speaks to his intelligence and intimate knowledge on what will keep him safe and secure in his double agent position. His action after learning of Voldemort’s plan to kill the Potters that night is to immediately start thinking about worst case scenarios and can’t contain all of those conflicting emotions. And then, his agony over finding the Potters’ house completely destroyed and visible in its entirety to the local muggles, and hoping beyond hope that Lily is alive and safe and definitely not dead but that he could care less if James or Harry survived. The course of recompense he chooses to go on is well thought-out and executed here, so great job with making me not actually completely hate Snape in this piece!
~Madi
Oooh I love the choice of the Litany Against Fear section you used for this chapter about Voldemort. Extremely fitting for his character and the associations we as fans often make with him. Hmmm, Voldemort drinking red wine? That’s not a task I would typically think of him doing, but whatever it seems interesting enough here for me to accept it as a minor detail and move on. His systematic logging of the blood traitors he’d had his Death Eaters kill recently reads almost like a CEO checking over weekly or monthly reports on the latest finances for their company. It’s business to him, nothing more, and that is added to by his realization of the “emotions” he is feeling while cycling through these killings are ones of accomplishment and pride in the murders he’s committed or ordered done on his behalf. You’ve shown the truly sickening part of him here, so excellent job!
But now, now we see how it was that Peter Pettigrew could so easily turn to the dark side and join Voldemort, and we see why he would think that’s his only option. It drops the other Marauders down a peg in terms of how “good” of people they are to ceaselessly taunt and tease someone who is supposed to be their best mate. You draw a nice parallel with Pettrigrew’s assumption of the turncoat position and Snape’s spy position, for which I can appreciate the different kinds of information each of them brings to the table, and how they’re most useful at different times. Aha, and then Voldemort thinks he’s killed his fear, when in fact, it’s nearly killed him, and otherwise would have if he didn’t have all those Horcruxes. Nicely done!
~Madi
It’s me again :)
Okay, so now we’re focusing on James, and it looks like there’s about to be a baby Harry, how fun! James being very scared about becoming a father when he’s so obviously still super young at only twenty years old is super characteristic of him, I think. The Marauders have obviously had to grow up pretty quickly since Hogwarts, considering all of the fighting and work they’re doing on behalf of the Order against Voldemort, and it’s nice to see that maturity on display here in James’s conversation with Sirius about becoming a father so soon. Sirius is clearly uncomfortable with this topic, not being a father himself, but I think you’ve done a good job of writing Sirius to where he’s giving the best advice he can and still trying to cheer James up at the same time. I’m happy we get to see all four of them together, and see how they all take cracks at each other without any bite to any of their remarks. They also are just trying to support each other in this difficult time of war, and I think the boys realize that James needs a little bit extra right now as he’s feeling overwhelmed about becoming a parent. Of course Remus does the emotional appeal bit, that’s just so true to his character, bless him. Augh, such a sweet, sweet ending to this chapter with the birth of Harry, Rose! I LOVE IT!
~Madi
Hi Rose!
So when I realized this was kind of written around the Litany Against Fear from the Dune series, I just HAD to check this out!!
Oh Lily, sweet, sweet Lily Evans. I think it’s very appropriate that she’s fearful on her wedding day, even if she’s not sure what exactly it is that she’s fearful of or fearful for. The letter from Petunia stating why she wouldn’t be there for Lily & James’ wedding is so sad but I think is a nice touch because it gives more tension to what is supposed to be a happy, joyful occasion. The fact that Lily’s parents are still there for her while their eldest daughter refused to come speaks volumes about that familial relationship, and that Lily is the favorite child and likely always has been, disregarding her magical talents entirely. The background of the war looming overhead also dampens a wedding, because for all they and their guests know, one or both of them could easily be killed tomorrow or a week from then with the way it has been going for the Order. What I thought was interesting was Voldemort’s attempt at recruiting both her and James -- I know James is a pureblood, but did he really not know that Lily was as muggleborn as you can get? I find that curious. [insert shrug emoji] The flashback to James’s proposal was fitting and adds to the air of rushing about this whole ordeal and the worry of making a mistake because of the war and not knowing if you’re going to live or die when you wake up each day. Lily’s mother comforting and reassurances about Lily’s fears are so tender and, well, motherly, it’s perfect. Nice ending to this chapter!
~Madi
Hi, Rose! I wanted to read another chapter but, life being what it is, didn't get there until just now.
Remus is magnificent in this chapter. There's one thing that he and Harry definitely have in common, and it's the ability to see flaws in other people's thinking that they can't see in their own. In Deathly Hallows, Harry angrily drives Remus back toward Tonks and Teddy after he spends the majority of six and a half books pretending his troubles don't exist and pushing away people who try to help him.
Remus is no different. The guy who feels unworthy of assistance or affection explaining to James how all of his friends will support him and how his son will adore him. I guess maybe the contradiction doesn't seem so plain to Remus. I imagine he spent a lot of his school years feeling like James had a perfect life. I his less charitable moments, I'm sure he was envious and possibly even jealous. Still, Remus had a group of friends who were willing to go to great lengths for him, yet he never felt worth of their friendship.
Let's see, what else? Peter is... well, Peter. He's just sort of there, I guess. He chips in from time to time, but his words don't seem to add a lot to the conversation. He is the remora of the Marauders.
The four friends had faced a lot together. They had broken more laws than any of them bothered to track, except perhaps Remus -- That was a great moment. Love the way it lightens the tone momentarily.
Sirius can't be serious (even though he is Sirius), but I think that's what James needs in the moment. Even at his best, it takes Sirius several snappy one-liners to break through James's mood. I guess that's a testament to how heavy this all seems to James.
You did a good job of capturing James's anxiety. I've been there, times two. It's strange, how well prepared you can feel up to a few days or weeks before you become a parent. Then the gravity of the situation really hits you. You realize just what a huge undertaking this child-rearing thing really is. How for the next eighteen years, minimum, you will never not be worrying and planning and thinking about what your child is doing. It seems like all of that hits James very abruptly, which is usually how it happens in real life.
Well done!
-Dan
Hi, Rose! I'm not sure how I missed this story for so long. It looks like something that's right up my alley. So here goes...
As I read this, I can't help but winder whether you've felt some of the same things. You got inside of Lily's head really well and the progression of her thoughts as she moves through the story feels really natural.
I like the conflict between what Lily things that she should be feeling and the nagging doubts and anxieties she'd dealing with. This is how reality works, at least for 90+% of all people who get married. Your brain goes through a laundry list of everything, internal and external to your relationship, that impinges on how things might go. And Lily plainly has a very long list. An ongoing magical war is no small thing.
How could she worry about Voldemort on her wedding day? -- Child, I don't think there's a wrong day to worry about Voldemort.
For the first time in their relationship, Lily did not have a snappy response or a quick reproach for James. Instead she answered him with a quiet, “Yes, James, I will marry you,” and slipped the small ring on her finger before kissing her dark-haired fiancé. -- That was so sweet! I think the readers you've scarred with your other stories might be surprised to read this.
Lily's mother's advice is so sound. She's very good at this. Nothing stays constant in life. It would be fairly boring if it did. At the same time, it's sad to think what a short amount of time James and Lily would have together.
I really enjoyed this chapter and I'm looking forward to reading more!
-Dan
Hey Rose!
i figures might as well review as I read so I’m here for another EvS battle! Team Silver!
The fear of becoming a parent, more like becoming a bad parent is so raw and real, I absolutely have felt these things myself so I can honest relate to this story. You wrote James voice so well, how he feels, why he feels it. The pain he has over his parents death, the nervousness and anxiety about his sons future being left in his hands. A truely good parent will always worry about such things.
I think my favourite part of this story was how you brought his friends into the story to help y’all him down. How Remus, the one who has always seems to be wiser beyond his years, was the voice of reason and reassurance. The way you depicte Sirius and his loyalty but also I love his hunourous side where he draws on comedy to break tension and stress James is feeling.
That grin when his son is born and he gets to look at him for the first time! Awe. My heart.
Great story Rose I look forward to reading the rest !
xo
LB
Hey there Rose!
i am here for the EvS Battle for Team silver!
i really enjoyed this chapter of this story! I feel like you skillfully captured the anxiety and fear that every bride feels, but not only that you were able to draw on some of the extra special circumstances that would be adding to her worries. I don’t think (though I am not experienced in such a moment) that a bride is meant to feel completely and 100% fine leading up to the wedding. I like how you voiced Lily and the reaction she had to James proposal. So certain. But that the fear lead up to the moment that once was over she couldn’t just turn back and ask for a do over.
I love the mother daughter moment, and felt it was very fitting for the plot. I think my favourite line is where her mother says that their love will change and that it’s a good thing. It’s so true, love doesn’t stay the same and people don’t stay the same and I like how that was communicated to Lily through her personal experience of when James first liked her and was playing silly pranks on her to get her attention.
There is something so bitter sweet in marauders tales , especially ones so happy.
You really captured this moment of Lily Evans thoughts and emotions great writing!
xo
LB
Hello Rose! I'm here for the Menagerie and BvY.
First of all, I love the idea for this fic. And I'm happy you started with Lily <3
It really would be hard to find the energy to celebrate amid everything that was happening at this time, especially the deaths in the order. I think marraige is pretty scary. Anything associated with the word "forever" is scary, to be honest. And with marraige, even though of course she loves James so much, it's exactly what she says. "What about the unforeseeable future?" That is a brilliant way of putting it.
And then, on top of this, marrying James is obviously going to pull her even farther away from her family. Petunia is cruel and selfish not to come, and it's really hurtful to send a letter like that. But the marriage is also going to mean seeing her parents less, bcs James will be the central person in her life now (and she in his) and that is going to me less time in the muggle world. That's a sacrifice, too.
I really love how you wrote Lily's mom in this. She says just the right things. I loved her example about putting frog guts in pumpkin juice.
The entire theme of this chapter is very HP, because the message i take from this is that acts of love take courage.
I'm so happy Lily is able to put her fear aside and approach the wedding happily at the end. She and James deserve it.
xoxo Renee
Rose! It’s been too long since I’ve stopped by with a review, and this one won’t be shouty caps, I swear lol.
This was so bittersweet, and so beautiful. I really had hope for their future, but in the back of my mind was so sad, knowing that they never would have more than just Harry, and they wouldn’t have large family cookouts, or anything she hoped for in the future. And all of that with Petunia being a B was heartbreaking, too. I can’t imagine a sibling hating me as much as Petunia seemed to hate Lily. It’s so sad. I would love to see that fight between Vernon and James at Petunia’s wedding. It’s too bad he didn’t get a hex or two in.
Even though I’m not married yet, I do get that fear that Lily had. Yeah, I’ve been with my significant other for a long time now, but you really can’t be certain if it’s going to last, and that is scary. It was a very real and human thing. Just like all of your work, the characters all feel so real, and relatable in one way or another.
That talk with her mother was sweet. I loved the line about the frog guts in the pumpkin juice. Could totally see that happening when they were kids haha. And I don’t know why, but the line about Remus escorting Lily’s mother made me a little emotional. Like, just thinking of close they all were, and then Remus losing everyone the night Lily and James died. Idk, it just really gave me a lot of feels for such a tiny part of this story.
So yeah, Hagrid does mention that Voldemort tried to recruit James and Lily, when telling Harry about his parents in the first book. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone mention that in a fic. I always wondered about that. Like why he would have tried to get James and Lily, considering she was a Muggleborn. And he was also willing to spare her for Snape. Asking her to stand aside when he went to kill Harry. I wonder why she was different than other Muggleborns? It’s interesting, isn’t it? I liked that detail that you added in this.
So of course I loved this. I don’t think you could ever write something I didn’t like, honestly. It wasn’t the typical rip our hearts out and feed on our tears type heartbreaking, but still sad just the same. Because of the hope that she had, and the fear of a future that would never come. Feels. A lot of feels. Beautifully written feels. I can’t wait to see how you break me in the following chapters!
All the love,
Meg
Transferred from offsite at request of the author
Originally left on 08/18/2015
Awww it's her wedding day! :D Oh no! Why are you so mean Petunia! And on your sisters wedding day? Why couldn't she just say ""Sorry, I can't attend"" and be done with it. Oh sisters are so mean sometimes!
Poor Lily, I hate to think how it must feel to have your big day ruined by an evil sister and a war :(
I like how they deal with the terror that they face during the war by joking about it. I think that they definitely need that.
Awww that proposal is so them, and I can totally seeing James proposing like that.
I'm glad that her mother came and talked to her, she's right though, love changes day to day.
This was such a good first chapter, and I'm excited to read the rest. I can totally understand Lily's fears, and you did a fantastic job of showing them.
Fantastic work my lovely!
Transferred from offsite at request of the author
Originally left on 06/12/2015
Hufflepuff House Cup Review 2015!
I.Love.Death.Eaters! And this 3rd chapter reminded me of why. Your characterization of Voldemort (as well as Pettigrew) was spot-on! I love how the Dark Lord refuses to acknowledge the fear that he knows is deep inside of him over the prophecy. Although it's interesting to note his sado-masochistic and prideful nature.
I enjoy how disdainful he is of Pettigrew, even with the accurate and valuable information. He keeps him at an arm's length (and for a good reason), which is exactly what he'll continue to do despite the sneaky rat's help in his return. Quite honestly, I can't blame him.
The 3rd line of the Litany couldn't be more PERFECT for this--in the end, it was the Dark Lord's underlying fear that was his undoing and hence 'obliterating' him.
Beautiful chapter--really LOOOVED IT! Thank you so much it was awesome! :)
Karen xoxo
Hufflepuff House Cup 2015
(P.S. -- I loved how Pettigrew showed up in his PJs in front of the Dark Lord LOL nicely done!)
Author's Response: Karen!
your reviews on this are the best. You *get* what I'm going for with Voldemort and Peter (especially Voldemort). Voldemort's fear is that he feels fear (very Kennedy of him) and it was his downfall.
I really can't imagine Voldemort valuing osmeone like Peter because of his disloyalty.
hehehe, I love that you appreciate the litany and its use here. Love love love.
thank you so much!
-rose
Transferred from offsite at request of the author
Originally left on 06/12/2015
HOuse Cup Review ala Hufflepuff 2015!
Hayllo I'm back for seconds! :-D
In your AN you asked if this was a good point in time to examine James fear and IMHO it's a resounding yes! I mean what person wouldn't be afraid of what they'll be like as a parent, especially for the first time? You expressed James' fear as truly natural and one thing I really noticed is that he seems a bit 'toned down' in terms of immaturity--he's really grown since being married to Lily, as well as having been fighting in the War for awhile--it's made him smart and realize just how precious life is in all its' aspects. It's also taught him to not take anything for granted.
The camaraderie among the 4 friends here was very nice and refreshing. It shows that the other 3 Marauders have (in their own ways) matured as well and that their friendship is now one of steadfastness (even though we know what will happen later, it's still beautiful. Which makes these moments all the more bittersweet).
This: Sirius let out a short, sharp laugh. “Got to make sure your kid knows how to raise hell. You’ll have someone to carry on your legacy.”
And this: “I’m a Black, I don’t change nappies.” *snort* of COURSE you don't Sirius! :-P
MY FAVORITE LINES! I laughed so hard at these and I was like 'yeah sounds like something Sirius would say!'
Overall a very beautiful chapter with a very personal and intimate look into James as well as the rest of the Mauraders. The next line of the Litany fits in perfectly here! Thanks for a wonderful chapter--good job! :-D
Karen xoxo
Hufflepuff House Cup 2015
Author's Response: Karen!
Oh boy, I just love your comments on this chapter. The parenthood fear makes so much more sense to me after becoming a parent. When I wrote this it was a bit of a reach. From a tolerability perspective, I needed James to be more mature than he is usually shown in school otherwise I couldnt' imagine anyone being married to him. Plus the war would make him settle a bit.
:D I love your favorite lines. They're ones I'm proud of as well.
thank you so much for another wondeful review!
-Rose
Transferred from offsite at request of the author
Originally left on 06/12/2015
House Cup Review!
Rose this is amazing! I LOVE Dune and to see that you based an an entire series on the Litany was just something I couldn't pass up!
And did you nail it--I love how you set the stage here and the all too natural uncertainty of a bride on her wedding day. The interaction between her and her mother was very natural and real and nicely done (especially frog guts in pumpkin juice :-P ).
Her sorrow with her sister and her memory of Voldemort's actions were very believable. Rejection so very close to the home and heart is never easy and even harder to come to terms with and my heart went out to her.
My favorite part was her flashback to when James proposed to her! I was admittedly gushing and it was written so lovely!
I also very much enjoyed that Mrs. Evans was being escorted by Remus--the mixing of magical and muggle was especially unifying in my mind and brought Lily's two worlds full circle.
Nicely written and excellent choice of theme! Thank you for a wonderful story!
Karen xoxo
Hufflepuff House Cup 2015
Author's Response: Karen!!
Yayyayay! another Dune fan. :D
omg *dies* I thought it was nice to start off soft with something like wedding jitters. I can't imagine having that sort of rejection from a sister but it would be quite devastating. And the whole Voldemort thing :P
ah, I just can't with this review. thank you so much!!
-Rose
Transferred from offsite at request of the author
Originally left on 08/27/2014
Hello! Here for TGS review exchange.
This is a very nice idea for a short story collection, and I liked this first chapter very much. It was interesting how your focus was on Lily's fear of marriage rather than the whole war thing. Marriage is a big step and any man/woman is bound to get nervous on their wedding day. I think you portrayed lily's nervousness and fear very well. Her question of whether she could continue to love James in the ""unforeseeable"" future was a very apt one. It is kind of sad that the couple never got that far though... but anyway, you got her thoughts and feelings right in my opinion.
The setting of the story was good too, and I liked the brief mention of Petunia. The memory of James' proposal was sweet too; I liked how it wasn't all fancy and extravagant but rather quite simple. Lily's parents were also included in the chapter fairly well.
All in all, good job! it made for a nice little read and I enjoyed it!
Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)
Author's Response: Hi AD!!
Thank you so much for the lovely review!! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. This kind of came at me from nowhere (well, re-watching Dune) and I'm happy with how it materialized.
-Rose
Transferred from offsite at request of the author
Originally left on 07/09/2014
Hi again, Rose!
This was another great chapter, and a fantastic ending to the Moments of Fear that you've been writing for the Marauders and others! I liked the fact that you ended it with Remus, who was the only one left living any semblance of a normal life after the first war was over, and even then he suffered because of his lycanthropy.
It won't be a surprise to you that I love the way that you write Remus and think your characterisation is fantastic - since you've written a novel about him, it makes sense for you to capture him perfectly. I think that the fear of being alone is something that would be very real to him, and it just made me so sad to think of him in those thirteen years between his friends dying and him finding out Sirius was innocent, because he was so alone in that.
I loved the fact that you included the Christmas before in this chapter, though. It was nice to see a flashback to a happy memory of them all as friends, ignoring the war for a day. Sirius and Remus made me laugh when it came to handling Harry, and the way that they teased James had become domesticated :P But it emphasised just how lonely he was in the present Christmas and it was so moving.
You've done a great job with this story, Rose. I love the idea behind it and the execution has been brilliant!
Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review
Author's Response: Sian! (x2!!)
I can't tell you how much squee I got out of this review. Your reactions to this were exactly what I hoped for when I sat down to write this (which doesn't happen all the time but it's amazing when it does). Remus was my clear choice for the last quote and the last person to talk about. I could have fit him in earlier with the mistrust and alienation but this was much more impactful.
ha, well, despite having written a novel about Remus, I still get excited when people say I've written him well. He's one of my favorite characters so it's important to me that I do him justice. Ugh, yes, the 13 years of solitude were heart breaking for me to think about.
Contrasting the two Christases was my way of showing how different Remus' life was in the war versus afterwards. It's another thing you picked up on right away which others did not :) All in all, Remus lost so much during the war that it couldn't have felt like much of a victory in the end.
*hug* I'm just so moved that you liked this story so much. It was one of my more out there story ideas (in terms of blending two poetry into a fic and giving it the overall story arc). Thank you so much for such a wonderful, uplifting review!
-Rose
Transferred from offsite at request of the author
Originally left on 07/09/2014
Hi Rose! I'm trying to leave some reviews for our lovely staffers in the middle of my reviewing frenzy and couldn't resist coming back to finish this story!
Wow, this was such a sad chapter. I mean, with it being about Sirius I knew it would be, and since the rest of the chapters have followed a chronological order, this could only take place after Lily and James have died. But still, it made me so sad to read how much grief he was feeling and all the chaos of emotions that were running through him at this point.
I loved your portrayal of Sirius here. I know you've written him before but I thought that you captured his character perfectly, especially at this time. The fact that he was so devoid of hope and happiness when he realised what had happened, as well as the guilt that consumed him knowing he'd been the one to suggest Peter as the secret keeper. I thought all of that tied in really well to the quote at the beginning.
The sections in italics, when Sirius was hearing James in his head, were probably my favourite part of this. They worked so well and I think you captured James's voice too. Only the thought of one day doing his duty again could combat the sadness and grief Sirius was feeling, and I'm glad that you ended the chapter on a slightly more hopeful note!
Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review
Author's Response: Sian!!
I'm so happy you came back to this story!! It's missed you! :D
this chapter hit a lot of people in the feels. It hit me in the feels when I wrote it. Whoo - you picked up on my not so subtle chronological order thing (some people missed that).
I'm really thrilled you liked my portrayal of Sirius. I've written him a lot but never at such a low point. Yay! I worked a bit to get this part of the story to fit its quote even though the quote is a bit abstract (this chapter is also a bit abstract).
Writing James into this chapter started off as a way to break the monotony of mysery but turned into a great way of reflecting Sirius' mood and events. I'm so happy that I got James down. i've only written him a few times before this. I needed to end this on hope - otherwise it would have been too miserable.
Thanks for a wonderful review!!
-Rose
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