Name: MrsKatieGrint (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: Sirius -- Solitude

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 11/18/2013

Wow, such an interesting twist from your other chapters. I like it!(:

I like the fact that Sirius doesn't have an exact fear. I almost believe that his emotions are all over the place for him to actually have any fear.

I love how you would go back in forth in his head/sanity. It just again goes to show the bond that James and Sirius shared. It was heartwarming to think about how much Sirius actually cared for James.

As a whole, I really still love the idea of your story. I love how its actually occurring chronologically, and that the 'fear' each character have, is just mind numbing almost. Its weird to think, but definitely true when you stop to think about it.

You also really keep things interesting on how you write each chapter. I think you have a different flair for each chapter, but its still written in the same style, does that make sense? Lol, its really awesome just reading through, and totally geeking out as the english major I am.

Great job, once again, you have outdone yourself!(: Cheers!

Author's Response: Hello!!!

Ah, I'm glad you liked how this one changed up a bit.

His chapter was a bit harder to work with because of the quote. I couldn't think of a discrete fear for Sirius either so having him all over the place with emotions felt like the best direction for this part.

The James/Sirius scenes were partly a plot device to keep some sense of flow and continuity. I also wanted to show their relationship as Sirius' anchor to reality.

:D You might be the first person to comment on the story happening chronologically. It was a bit of the complexity I wanted to add to the overall plot arch.

I think I know what you mean with the voice staying the same but the style/implementation of the narrative varied. I wanted to have the feel of an omniscient narrator but with different pizzazz each time. It's kind of awesome that I have been able to make you geek out.

Thank you so much for another awesome review!!

-Rose

Name: ReeBee (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: Lily -- Future

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 11/17/2013

Hi! Its ReeBee from Ravenclaw ;)

It's awesome! I truly feel that u have captured the exact feelings during Lily's marriage!

First of all, James is characterised extremely well. You have captured perfectly how he is not a main character, but still important enough. I love the line at the end, ""He’d still be putting frog guts in your pumpkin juice.""

Second, I love the little snippets of humour in between the her confused feelings. I felt that they lightened up the whole scene, showing us that Lily is also very excited for her marriage day, even though she is scared.

You have also captured fear perfectly. How Lily's mind is worrying about a tonne of things. How it starts on Voldemort then goes to whether she will still love him after the years. I am also very impressed at how you have still carried out Lily's personality, even when she is afraid. How you haven't completely changed her, in fear. Even though she is terrified, she is not completely panicking, just fearfully thinking everything over. I also love it how she rationalises her thoughts! Perfect example of Lily to me!

One thing I think you could improve on is length. Not as in word length but the details on each scene. Especially with her mother, I felt it was quite rushed. You could have dragged it on longer. But, that being said, a mother (especially in this chapter), immediately knows when something is wrong, you have captured that perfectly. So, it is not that big of a problem.

I also believe that you totally don't need to worry about your build up of fear. It was perfect! :) And the chapter does go hand in hand with the quote. It was good. You were implying it, but i think that you could have expanded on it. Maybe go on about about she eventually calmed down and stopped doubting and fearing. But, other than that, it was amazing!

Awesome Chapter!

Xoxo

Author's Response: Hello!!!

So sorry I took a few days to respond. I kind of get a stack of reviews then blow through them all at once.

Thank you so much for such a helpful and detailed review. You're too kind with your praise. My ego might be too big to be supported on a broomstick now. :D

I'm really glad that James' character came across really well given his small role in this story. I've only just started writing him in any significant way so he's still quite new to me.

I was trying to keep this chapter light enough to still feel like a wedding day.

My experience has been that wedding day thoughts aren't always linear. It's really great to hear that the way I unpacked her fears made sense and flowed.

Thanks for the feedback on plumping out the scenes. I struggled a lot with this story and it feels clunkier to me than the other parts of the story collection. I'll definitely try to make the connection to the quote more explicit. :D

Thanks again for an incredible review!!

-Rose

Name: MrsKatieGrint (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: Severus -- Loss

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 11/16/2013

Oh geez, take my heart and rip it out, why don't you?

I think its safe to say that most fans after reading the DH became mega fans of Lily/Snape, and I would put myself in that category, except their aren't many good FF out there like that.

Again, I just love this. Its perfect, and everybody knows that was Snape's fear, losing Lily to the Dark side he was apart of at the time.

I think the part that got me, was when he was thinking about their future. #tear

This was again, another crazy insight, just like Voldemort, and I think you wrote this fabulously. I really liked this one too, even though it wasn't action packed, it certain was emotionally packed.

The feeling and atmosphere of this chapter is just wonderful, and kinda wraps you in. Its just crazy, your attention to detail.

As always, I love love loved this, it was beautiful.(:

Cheers!

Author's Response: Hello!!

I do like ripping hearts out... it's an unfortunate hobby of mine. :)

I didn't become a huge fan of Lily/Snape but I do like people trying to write them. I feel that it's a very lopsided ship.

Snape's fear felt so singular to me. I mean, he was rather fearless in the books but it was definitely fear/love that drove him to the Order. I've read a few fics (don't remember where/when) where Snape and Lily ended up together after James died (it was AU). It was such a twisted hope but fit Snape so well.

I'm blushing a bit - Snape isn't someone I'm confident writing so it's really amazing to hear that I got him down well. This chapter was certainly packed with the feels. More so than the previous ones (but not as much as the last two).

The atmosphere was meant to be sad and engulfing - I'm so glad to hear that's how it hit you.

Thank you so much for a wonderful review. You've really made me elated. :D

-Rose

Name: 800 words of heaven (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: Severus -- Loss

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 11/15/2013

REVIEW TAG!

I'm not the biggest fan of Snape, so I was really interested to see how you would show his fear. Lily seemed like an obvious focus, but I was pleasantly surprised at the angle. I had expected something from their school days, or even more obviously something from when he finds out the prophecy - this was better.

I liked how Snape's fear was so completely understated. All the previous fears had been obvious, but Snape's was so much more subtle. This was such a great way to show some of his personality. Snape's used to hiding his feelings, even from himself, I'm sure, so it was so natural for him to suppress his fear and try to make it sound less important.

I also loved how you kept his nasty side. In my opinion, it's what makes him an interesting character, so it was great to see it here. So often I've read stories where Snape is a little OOC, but I didn't feel that this was the case here. He only really cared about Lily, as shown for his complete disregard for James's death, and his hatred for Sirius is palpable. There's also something essentially Slytherin about him throughout the piece - especially evident in his conversation with Rabastan. He weighs up the other guy's strong and weak points so consciously and that entire conversation was carried out with such precise carefulness, it was delicious! His devious mind does not rest, as he tries to anticipate Voldemort and the Death Eaters' motivations and next moves.

I seriously enjoyed this story! Each one has been so different so far, but so informed and aware of the character which they portray, it's been fantastic! I'm so excited for Sirius next chapter!

Author's Response: I've just been re-reading this and grinning. People keep thinking I got an email from a cute guy. :P Nope, just an awesome review.

Snape isn't one of my favorite people. I mean, he's interesting and complicated but I'm not part of his fan club. I thought about their school days but I wanted to keep each section of the story chronological to the previous ones. :D I'm glad this was better than the other predictions you made.

Making his story much less blunt felt very natural for this. I didn't think of it as a portrayal of his personality - but I'll take that and pretend it was intentional.

Making him a still cruel and harboring the same bits of hatred felt right (clearly I write with my emotions :P). I'm flabbergasted by your compliments on how I made him very Slytherin. He's definitely analytic - I was digging into my own way of analyzing people for that.

I'm so very thrilled you've enjoyed each story and this one too! I hope you like the Sirius chapter when you get to it. It might be a bit heart-achy.

Thank you so, so, SO much for this review!!!

-Rose

Name: marauderfan (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: Severus -- Loss

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 11/14/2013

Hi there! I'm back to read more of this awesome short story collection! :)

This one was so sad! And I don't even like Snape. But I couldn't help feeling badly for him! I thought you tied the beginning quote in really well with this one, how Snape faced his fear of seeing Lily dead, just so that he'll know for sure. I can't imagine how hard that would be - he wants to know if she's alive or dead, but only seeing her dead will make him give up hope of one day being with her.

You handled Snape's complicated emotions and obsessiveness very well, too. He is a really difficult character to get into the mind of, but you did. The way he thought that James and Harry's deaths would be inconsequential and Lily would eventually be with him... it's very much like Snape to think that, to not be able to see anything past his own selfish love and how that would be the worst thing possible for Lily if she survived.

This was a great chapter! You should be so proud that you're able to write difficult characters like Snape and Voldemort so well. Gold star for you! :D

Author's Response: Hi!!

I'm so glad you came back!

It's kind of awesome that I got you to feel sad for Snape given that you don't like him. His was a very sad fear to write about. You describe it quite brilliantly.

Snape was quite interesting to write about. Many of his thoughts were quite disconnected to my own feelings and desire for how to react. It was really twisted to have him so excited at the possibility to move on Lily after her family's death even though, like you said, it would have been devistating.

Thank you very much for an awesome review and such kind words! I shall covet the gold star for all time. :D

-Rose

Name: MrsKatieGrint (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: Voldemort -- Death

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 11/14/2013

Hey there!

Oh wow, definitely was not expecting that.

This was just crazy, for real, this just blew my mind. One, I knew Voldemont feared Harry, or atleast the boy in the prophecy, but this chapter was a little different than the rest of yours, where the fear was actually said at the end, I think that did a world of wonders for the impact of the story, atleast for me. Two, this was so interesting reading from Voldemort's point of view. Now, I've only read two other stories with Voldemort being the main character, but yours was by the best. It was just cunning, and realistic and just wonderful, or as much as it can be, considering its Voldemort we're talking about haha.

I just thought it was so awesome to actually completely see into the villain's mind. I know we do briefly, through Harry, but its still so different seeing it first hand? I just think this was fabulous, again, for it being Voldemort, and I think his fear was such a realistic fear for him to have, death, I mean, thats why he created so many horcruxes in the first place. (Um, is that even the correct plural form? Lol whatever)

Wow, to be completely honest here, I was kinda dreading reading this chapter, simply because it was Voldemort, and it would either be written really well, or really awful. And, if it was the second I was scared as to how this would affect the story, but, I'm so glad I did, because I personally think this chapter sent the story to a whole new level.

You're doing an amazingly awesome job with that one quote, and I can't wait to see the rest of everyone's fears!(: Cheers!

Author's Response: Hello!!!

It's really great to hear that this chapter kind of hit the story into a new level. While writing this chapter I was more into the fear behind the chapter and felt stronger about the idea behind it. The first two were leading up to a bigger idea. It's a turning point in terms of tone and intensity.

The first two stories are a bit more up for interpretation. They were fears that were so general and ephemeral. Voldemort's was quite focused and concrete.

I'm so glad that Voldemort was well done here! (Even the best you've read :D) This was the first time I featured him as a main character. I wrote another story with Tom Riddle (as a little kid) shortly after this. My head was full of Voldy for a few weeks!

Thank you so much for your helpful and incredibly nice review!! I am very happy his fear and the action was well done. :D

-Rose

Name: MrsKatieGrint (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: James -- Parenthood

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 11/13/2013

Hey there!

Okay, totally called that James' fear would be being a dad! NAILED IT! haha

Anywho, everytime I read a chapter, I fall more and more in love with the idea of this story. I mean its just so amazing!

I don't think you understand how much I actually love this!:D

Its just nice to think that at this time the only thing people feared was Voldemort or the war. I think its nice, that we remember they're people too, not just wizards.

I think you play the part of fear in their lives so nicely? I guess, I mean, its not good that they have fears, its just that the fears you give them are so realistic, and so almost uncomplicated? I mean, not really, because being nervous on your wedding day, or becoming a parent is no small feat, but its just so down to earth. AND I LOVE IT! haha

I think you nailed all of the mauders and their reactions. I literally laughed outloud several times, so I'm sure my roommate thinks I'm more crazy than I actually am.:P

I think your concerns about Peter were right, I guess I just expected him to be more wishy-washy? He was a people pleaser, and the one that didn't really fit in almost? I imagine him to be more jumpy and nervous, real uncertain of anything. I would imagine by now he was in Voldemort's league, but he might not. If that may be the case, I would still expect him to be a little more uncertain of everything, and for that to show in his responses.

All in all, I think you did a marvelous job, and like I said, I adore this story idea in more ways than you could imagine! Great job again, cheers!

Author's Response: Hi!!

I guess his fear was a bit easier to guess (especially following Lily's fear). I'm so glad the story is drawing you in. :D

It is a bit unrealistic to think that people only have the war to fear. I'm sure during WWI/II people had real life stuff to deal with in addition to the war. :D I didn't want to get into deeper/psychological issues with James and Lily. Their fears are quite common and quite surface level (bit but not deep).

It's great to hear I made you laugh. :D I think the Marauders would have been a hoot to hang out with. In my head, Peter hadn't turned to the dark side yet. I do think wishy-washy would be a good way to describe how he should be though.

Thank you so much for another wonderful and helpful review!!

-Rose

Name: heartjily4ever (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: James -- Parenthood

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 11/13/2013

Hi this is me back for the next review you requested. Sorry it's been about 12 days, school has just been a nightmare. But I'm back, and ready to review.

I think this is a really good follow up chapter, after Lily's fears about the wedding. I like that you didn't do James's fears about the wedding, although I'm sure he would have had some. But this seems so like the James I envisage, and I love it.

I do think he would panic about being a parent. It seems so him, so Marauder. Being a dad is like being the opposite of being a trouble maker - all responsibility and full time care I guess. His fears seem completely legit and believable.

I think the relationship with the Marauders is good. Sirius seemed jokey enough about parenthood, but still completely loyal, and serious enough to see when his friend was properly panicking. Remus seemed so calm even when his friend was panicking. And Peter seems to not care as much as the others - maybe a subtle sign that he's going to the dark side, caring less?

It was an excellent point in time to see James's fear and I loved it. Well done :D

~Frances

Author's Response: Hello!!

No worries about the time - school can be hectic and life is always crazy. :)

I'm quite glad this seemed to follow well after Lily's fear. I'm trying to mix thematic changes with chronological events from this period.

I thought he'd he excited and extremely scared - it's good to know you could see him having the same fear I wrote about. :D

Nothing's better than hearing the Marauders sounded right. I really like writing them. :D Peter was difficult here - I can't decide if he crossed over yet or was thinking about it. he definitely wasn't all the way good.

Thank you so much for such a great review! It's really awesome that you liked it!

-Rose

Name: Courtney Dark (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: Lily -- Future

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 11/12/2013

Hey there!

Wow, this was a really great first chapter - and very unique, too, I don't think I've ever read anything along these lines in the archives.

I think you characterized Lily extremely well. Her personality was strong as was her personal voice, which can be extremely difficult to write well. I though you wrote her conflicted thoughts about the marriage - happiness and fear - perfectly. It was clear to seen that she was in love with James, but at the same time was worried about it being everlasting, wondering whether she'd made a decision too hasty, just because of the war. I think you portrayed this well, and had a natural, realistic pace.

I also loved the entrance of Lily's mother in this chapter, and how comforting she was to Lily. That's exactly how a mother should be on a wedding day! Her comment; “Love isn’t meant to stay the same throughout a marriage. It changes day to day and year to year. Can you imagine if James loved you the same way he did when you were in school? He’d still be putting frog guts in your pumpkin juice” was especially perfect, and I think that comforting Lily more than anything.

You asked whether Lily's fear sat more towards the event she's facing or external events. Honestly, I'd say a good balance of both - she seemed almost to have combined the two events in her head, even though one was meant to be extremely happy, the other dark and terrifying - overall, I think you did a great job!

Thanks for the great read!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hi Courtney!!

Aw, it makes me really happy that this chapter was well done and the idea seems quite unique. :D

I'm so glad Lily came across well. It was my first time writing her as a main character and I struggled a lot getting her voice in my head. You've given me a good bit of confidence on her voice and characterization!

Mrs. Evans was so fun to include. Her advice was exactly what my mom would have said on my wedding day - it was nice to channel that idea/emotion into a story.

Balanced fear was more or less what I was aiming for. I didn't want it to be just about the war or just about the wedding (either extreme would have put the wrong slant on the story).

Thank you so much for such a helpful and thoughtful review!!

-Rose

Name: KatieRoo (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: Lily -- Future

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 11/11/2013

Hey there!

Sorry I'm just getting to your review!D: I had a super busy weekend, but now that its monday, I have good things to do like reviewing!:D

So, I've only read the first chapter, Lily, but I'm deeply drawn to have crazy amazing this idea is. I like that you showed real moments that wizards have, and that wizards don't just fear Voldemort, they fear normal things that we fear too. I think people tend to forget that wizards are human too, they seem to put wizards into a category of their own, in which they face no fear unless its Voldemort.

#endrant haha

I am not married, but my best friend recently tied the knot, and she similarly went through the same emotions on her wedding day, so you definitely nailed this experience, making it super realistic, and very heartwarming.

I think your story also flowed very nicely. The build up was superb, and not at all rushed. You gave plenty of beautiful descriptive words, and made for the perfect build up of fear, I believe.

I'm really quite interested in how the story all relate and click. I'm also kinda curious to see what you have in store for no fears James Potter.

All in all, I think you did a wonderful job with this first chapter. I think you're off to a great start, and I can't wait to read more! Cheers!

Author's Response: Hello!!

I love your review too much to care if it took a few days. :D (and, you know, people have lives that don't revolve around reviewing FF)

I have to say that yours is one of the best reactions I've had to the idea behind this story. A lot of folks thought it was cool but not ""crazy amazing"" :D

Would it be weird to say I'm glad your friend had similar fears? or rather that I'm glad this felt realistic after that experience? I am married so I was able to parallel my own wedding day jitters to this - but it's really good to hear other people had the same thoughts/trepidation on their wedding day.

It's really great to hear that the story built up nicely and was descriptive enough. I sometimes glaze over details so I always like to ask.

I'll re-request soon for the chapter on James - I hope it is as cool for you to read.

Thank you so much! This was a very helpful review!!

-Rose

Name: AlexFan (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: Remus -- Loneliness

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 11/09/2013

This was such a good ending! I especially loved the part where everyone was over at James' house and having dinner. It was so nice to read something cheerful.

Remus and Sirius are such great uncles and the image that I got in my head of them playing with Harry just made this warm feeling spread through me.

It's wasn't too sad or anything at all. I was silently yelling at Remus that Sirius wasn't guilty but I can see why he would think that along with everyone else!

But anyway, this really was a great ending to this!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review. I'm so glad it was a good ending to the series. It was hard to end it (but I did run out of lines to use).

:D I meant to have a scene of good feels with them playing with quidditch. Nothing is more adorable than grown men playing with a child.

It is hard having Remus not knowing the truth about Sirius and Peter at this point and that he has to wait 12 years to find out. :(

Thank you again for this awesome review!!

-Rose

Name: Cannons (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: Lily -- Future

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 11/08/2013

Hey!

Review Tag again!!

After this I only have James' chapter to read and then I have finished the collection of stories. Lily is one of the most important characters in HP, in my opinion, so it was interesting to see your take on her.

Coming from reading your chapter on Remus where you focus quite a lot on the theme of loneliness and loss I found it a very interesting contrast to see you focus on the theme of marriage and how it would be heightened by the war that was raging around them.

This was a great line - ' She wasn’t going to let Petunia’s rejection or the worries of the war they were entrenched in to overshadow her happy day. ' - because it makes the point that the war truly overshadows everything, a testament to Vol..sory..Lord Voldemort in a way. Her wedding day should have been in different and happy circumstances and she is trying to make it be as happy as she can, but even though she actively tries to ignore those thoughts she cant. - That is where Lily knew she’d find solace.

Except, she didn’t. ' - So you've done a great job of telling the reader how big a deal the war was without actually saying it. It was quite powerful.

The bit you mentioned, I can't find the exact bit now, but where Lily is wondering if the war was forcing them together to quickly was an interesting point. this - Had their love grown organically or because of extraneous stress that pushed them together? - great line.

I thought this was a little choppier then the Lupin chapter and I may be reading to much in to this or maybe it was accidently, I'm not sure but I think it sort of works to your favour in the fact that Lily's thoughts and emotions were obviously all over the place. Whereas Lupin's chapter which flowed better, he had loads of time to think clearly on a lonely Christmas. As I say I may be over-thinking/over-complicating things here but... :)

I think Lily's fear is very believable, with all the pre-weddings nerves and stuff on top of the war. In my mind she is a very strong female character who is more then able to stand up for herself, as is most of J.K's female characters, so I think that she would be one to mask emotion on the outside. So it makes sense for her to be feeling and (over)thinking when she is on her own just before she is about to get married.

After reading 5/6 chapters I really appreciate the brilliance of the idea behind this collection. You ask so many questions in your writing, that the reader just wants to know more.

Overall I have like reading the Lupin chapter the best so far and will definitely re-read that at some point, but I did enjoy this Lily chapter as well.

Cannons.

Author's Response: Hi!! I'm so glad you swung around to pick this one up. I wasn't sure if you had read the chapters you didn't review yet.

Reading the chapters out of order must be quite the unique experience. I mean, they'd jump around chronologically and emotionally. This chapter is much lighter and more optimistic - there's a sense of overcoming fear here.

You really got what I was going for with the war and Petunia's rejection I wanted to acknowledge that those things were there and that they were huge but that her fear was multifaceted.

Having Lily question her love for James (and how it came to be) was really just the fear working its mojo with her. I think it's quite a normal fear for a wedding day.

This *is* choppier than the other chapters. I struggled a bit more writing this - I'm planning on editing it. :-/ though it is nice that you connected the choppy chapter with how eradic her thoughts would have been.

It's so great to hear that you think the idea behind this is brilliant. :D I meant to turnover quite a lot of stones and only addressed a few of the issues that came up.

I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter!!

Thank you so much for another wonderful review!

-Rose

Name: SkyEcho (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: Lily -- Future

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 11/07/2013

I think you did a wonderful job capturing the fear Lily would have on her wedding day. I liked the way you seamlessly moved between Lily's thoughts and recollections of past events and the present day. Can't wait to read more :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review!! I'm very glad to hear that the fear moved well and blended past and present.

-Rose

Name: Cannons (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: Remus -- Loneliness

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 11/05/2013

Hey, Review Tag!

Well...

*whistles slowly*

This was, um, quite powerful. Sad. Mainly sad, mostly powerful. Make sense right? Actually. Don't forget upsetting.

*Rubs hands together*

Erm, right I'm going to try and type coherently from this point onwards. Try. Being the key word.

This was amazingly written, I can't do it justice with a silly review like this.

You are a genius to use Christmas to enhance Lupin's sense of loss and loneliness. It's so evident in this it's practically jumping from the screen. His underlying anger and sense of betrayal really comes through as well.

The flashback was great, it really showed them all in a great light, having fun on Christmas as they should, but the war was still hanging above them. Maybe Pettigrew being late was because he was hanging out with Voldemort instead of his friends :/ Okay, probably not but still. He also brought up talk of the war, I don't know if you did that on purpose but could he have a guilty conscience maybe?

I noticed one mistake maybe I don't know - 'As Harry began to fuss at the cold air and new person, Sirius called out to James, “Padfoot, he’s calling for you!”' - Shouldn't that be ''Prongs, he's calling for you!'' - or a I missing something that's right in front of me?

This was jammed to the hilt with beautiful description and heart-wrenching lines so I'll just pick out a few.

Last Christmas they had all been terrified of the war and Voldemort. This Christmas those fears were gone but so were his friends… his family. - This was such a hard hitting couple of lines, because that shows the true cost of war. Before the war they were the best group of friends you could ever hope for, when everything is normal they get along great. But then the war comes along and they start to fall apart, bit by bit. Lupin strikes me as the only one who could cope with this and still be able to live with some normality afterwards, he would be able to see the bigger picture.

“He needs to start practicing quidditch,” Sirius insisted reaching for his wand. - This is a great line by Sirius and really made his character more believable to me.

More than anything, Remus wished that any one of his friends were there to say some words of comfort. - Man...this was a devastating line. Friends were the most important thing in Lupin's life up to that point. They accepted him as a werewolf and became animagi to help him. Everyone hated werewolf's and yet he found the greatest friends he could ever have hoped for, even without being a werewolf. Now though, they're all gone and to make it worse, one of his friends betrayed them.

The truth was that the recent months had only included the war and violence. - You remind everyone that even though it's Christmas the war is still looming over them and it is quite a sad fact. Yet the war is over and it's Christmas and it is even worse for Lupin because he has practically nobody left.

“Why didn’t we see it?” Remus said to his empty house. “That black-hearted traitor played us all!” - I loved this line because it showed how betrayed he felt, plus he is also angry with himself for not guessing. That is an incredible thing to have to live with, the amount of grief and regret. Yet we know how strong he eventually becomes, so I think this is a great line that stays true to cannon. You have used contrast to great effect in this chapter, with the flashback and Lupin on his own.

Remus felt the signs of alienation from the others as it became more evident that there was a spy close to James and Lilly. - This was soul destroying and I seriously hope that this didn't happen in cannon! I need to go and check after this review. I thought James valued and trusted all his friends, it's why he did! But if he trusted Pettigrew then he surly must have trusted Lupin. Gah. I hope this isn't true. It would be so sad to find out it was and that James had actually backed Pettigrew instead of Lupin. :'(

I loved how you lightened it a bit with lines like this - Remus and Sirius exchanged amused looks before the werewolf said, “Domesticated a bit, hasn’t he?” - so that the comment about the war by Pettigrew stood out even more.

Finally this line - Was it worth it? Would Remus exchange the safety and security of the wizarding world for his friends and the fear-filled lives they led? Yes, in a moment, yes. - This is the Lupin we all know. Such a strong character, he is effectively all alone, living with his conscience and grief with no support and yet he still believes it was worth it for the greater good of the wizarding world. The fact that he dies the way he does in the end is just so tragic, and maybe needless? Maybe J.k felt that she had to kill off all the Marauders for closure or something, but I truly believe that Lupin's death wasn't needed. There was so many deaths in that final battle that it would be easy for him not to get the recognition he deserves. The fact that he survives everything that has faced him. His furry little problem, the first wizarding war, the death of Sirius and then only to die at the final hurdle, leaving a kid behind is just so NEEDLESS. Lupin needs to survive! BRING BACK LUPIN! Ok. to far maybe.

You have written Lupin extremely well and this is defiantly my favourite chapter at the moment, I still have the first one to read though, It is clear that you have a lot of experience at writing Lupin from this chapter.

I hope you enjoy reading through my review and that it is motivating in some way. I seriously did enjoy reading this though. Lupin is my favourite Marauder. Along with James and Sirius. ;) So in my opinion you did a great job. I saw in another review that you cried while writing this and if that's true I can certainly see why. The good news is though that you channelled all that emotion and sadness in to the most wonderful chapter!

Will look forward to reading more epicenes from you soon!

Cannons!

Author's Response: This has to be one of the best reviews I've had - hands down. I've taken a few days to respond because I've had to gather my thoughts.

Powerful and sad - I'm really glad I was able to hit those notes with you. :D

Christmas seemed like a perfect time of year to drive the point about loneliness. It could be the sadness I feel at Christmas that came through in the story but the cruel author part of me liked the extra sting that came with the holidays.

:D I wanted people to questions where Peter really was when he was late. I'm so glad it seemed open for interpretation. I haven't decided where I thought he was but really wanted people to wonder what he was up to. I'm not sure how much of that is because of my writing or just because it's Peter. I did have him bring that info up as a guilty conscious/pumping for information. I theorized that Peter got most of his information about the Order during the war by asking questions like that. It's subtle but really effective.

Ah, that is a mistake! I'll fix that asap.

I ♥ the quotes you picked out. I am really glad the gravity of the loss Lupin felt came out in that line contrasting the previous year. I am honestly not sure how Remus recovered from the war. :(

Sirius seemed like he would push quidditch stuff on Harry. A toy broomstick is what he got Harry for his first birthday after all. :D

I imagine that for Remus, his friends were the closest family he ever had. I'm sure he loved his parents but they were parents. His friends were his chosen family which is often harder to replace.

Remus tends to carry a lot of guilt for stuff that happens around him (I mean, he preambled his speech in PoA about Peter with that it all started with him - as if he was the one to blame).

I made him tie the alienation to being a werewolf based on two things - a sidenote in PoA about Sirius thinking he was the spy and me building into what I say in another fic where I talk about Remus at the werewolf encampment with Fenrir. Sirius did state that they thought Remus to be a spy - so it is quite logical that they picked Peter over Remus (though I hadn't broke it down in those terms before).

I'm right with you about Lupin's death being needless and just mean. I remember reading that she wanted to balance out sparing Mr. Weasley and some other people she didn't off earlier. I do think it was quite lazy from a story perspective to kill important people at the very end. I'm a bit bitter about his death too.

Thank you so much for this incredible review!! I can't begin to tell you how awesome it was.

-Rose

Name: marauderfan (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: Voldemort -- Death

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 11/04/2013

Hello, here with your review!

This is absolutely your best chapter so far. What a creepy, illuminating view into Voldemort's mind! I think you wrote him so well - and what a difficult character to write! This line: It was spectacularly gruesome and beautiful. Voldemort made a note to pair the two of them again.

So twisted. But I like the way you wrote how he thinks, it seemed very in character! Voldemort would find that beautiful, wouldn't he.

So, when I first clicked on this chapter and saw that it was about Voldemort, I was really excited because that's not often something I read about - Voldemort being afraid. I thought it would focus on his fear of death. And it seemed to be more about uncertainty than death, which surprised me. What I really liked was this:

Fear was death and he had expertly removed that risk from his existence.

This is great. He is so arrogant, so convinced that he cannot be brought down, that at least consciously he is not afraid of death anymore because he thinks he has conquered it. And that leads into the quote from the Litany Against Fear in the beginning - that's PERFECT for ole' Voldy. That line suits so well because it's like at the moment he tries the curse on Harry, he has like a little flash of that buried fear returning just as he dies (well, not dies. Whatever they called it when he vanished the first time) I'm starting to ramble but anyway really great job tying those together and I like the way you approached Voldemort's ""fear"" of death.

I have only minor CC for this. Voldemort discusses the Potters and refers to them as his greatest threat, but then later he's considering which boy to kill. Earlier it sounded as if he had already decided on Harry, so is he starting to change his mind? It was a little unclear to me why he flip flopped there. Also, there's a small typo: ""populous"" should be ""populace"".

But that aside. This must have been a challenge to write, Voldemort's mind is a really crazy place, lol. And you did an amazing job! Bravo for taking on Voldy as a main character.

Author's Response: I might be the most proud of this chapter so it means a lot for you to say it's the best so far. I was slightly creeped out by how easy Voldemort came to me. O.o I did think Voldy would see the deaths done on his command as bits of art that he directed (like a movie director). I'm on the fence about the fear for Voldemort. I'm not sure if it's a fear of death or a fear of fear. I meant to straddle both.

The ending was meant to be the tie-in to the quote at the beginning - I'm really glad you saw how it connected through.

Ah! I do need to better explain that line of though. I meant to have both families be a threat and the Potters be selected because he got information about them first. Or (and this is me just explaining away my unclear plot) Voldemort was leaning towards the Potters being a bigger threat but wasn't completely sold on that idea. (That's just what I'll tell myself I meant until I go back and edit that)

Your review has meant so much to me! Thank you so much for such a detailed and incredibly awesome review!

-Rose

Name: Cavell (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: Lily -- Future

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 11/03/2013

Hi there! It's Raine from the forums with your requested review :) First things first, I loved the idea for this! I thought it was really creative to show everyone's fears, and Lily's fear was very creative especially, because goodness knows I'd be nervous beyond belief on my wedding day too. Admittedly, the flow was a little choppy in the first three paragraphs when you explained why Petunia wouldn't be attending the wedding, but maybe that's just me :p Not going to lie, I liked the explanation for it though! Of course, it's simply a shame Petunia wouldn't come -- that would have been a perfect backdrop for a little chaos.

Anyway, I thought Lily's fear was very realistic as she worried about the war and Voldemort and all, and the part about their love for each other fading over the years just really touched my heart, especially since we know about how they wouldn't live for too long after this :( if that part was meant to make you tear up, then it worked! One thing I noticed though is the spacing gets really weird around the part of the flashback and then afterwards near the end, but that's an easy fix. Also, in some sentences, you're missing a few commas, usually right after someone says something and proceeds to do something else, but that's just me being picky.

Mrs. Evans said standing up. -- there should be a comma in between 'said' and 'standing up' and I noticed this was something that happened regularly when Lily and her mum are talking to each other. Really though, this was the only part where there were any mistakes because other than that, it was a fairly lovely read. Thanks for requesting, and see you around the forums!

Author's Response: Hi Raine!

I'm so glad you liked the premise for this story. The first three paragraphs are a bit choppy - I've been meaning to do something with them.

I wasn't shooting for tears in this section of the series, but I am glad it moved you enough to cause a bit of tearing up. :D

Thank you so much for the CC and pointers where the story went weird. I'll take a peak at the spacing funkiness.

Your review was really awesome - thank you so much for the detailed feedback!

-Rose

Name: MissesWeasley123 (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: Remus -- Loneliness

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 11/02/2013

:( This is done. GNAAAH.

I really liked the side you showed of Remus. It was really well done and heartwarming. It was agonizing to think that he was all alone, his group of friends that were once together torn apart.

You show the sense of ""home"" and ""friendship"" so well. The personality you've given to Remus is likable and believable, exactly like how I imagined him to be. He's quiet, but very wise and observant too. But he was insecure, and that tied in really well with his confrontation with Sirius in PoA. And all because he was a werewolf! Gah! Not nice :(

The flashback to Christmas was so well done. The way you play with your characters, and make them ""dance"" in a way - because when you write them, they literally move. Breathtaking.

I loved every section/part/word of this story, and I look forward to more stuff by you. Your command and prowess with the Marauders is commendable and inspiring.

Nadia

Author's Response: Nadia!!

Your review gave me all sorts of grins and giggles. Thank you so much - home and friendship were the two things I wanted people to feel in this. To feel his loss of security and love was a key goal in this chapter. I thought the werewolf dimension was especially sad. I was playing his bitterness here against feelings he has in another fic I have (I create my own canon sometimes).

Okay, I can't really think of how to respond to your bit about making the characters dance. that's probably the nicest thing anyone has said about my writing. :) Thank you

I am so glad you have enjoyed this story! I was sad to end it. I do have another Marauder fic coming up for the Downton Abbey challenge. It's a one shot though.

Anyway, I've really enjoyed your review on this! Thank you so much for each and every one.

-Rose

Name: 800 words of heaven (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: Voldemort -- Death

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 11/02/2013

REVIEW TAG!

So I thought about skipping straight onto Sirius, but then I REALLY wanted to read what you wrote about Voldemort. It wasn't what I expected - but in a good way.

I guess I was expecting something a little more existential, like Voldemort taking a good hard look at himself and pondering the mysteries of life and death. I'm glad you didn't do that - well, you kind of did, but it was a lot cooler than what I had predicted :D

I liked how you showed his more sadistic side. One could argue that this is his ONLY side, but I like how you've shown Voldemort as blindingly oblivious. Like, he knows what he is, but he's so caught up in that, he doesn't want to understand why he is the way he is. It gives him no satisfaction to understand the way he thinks.

In my opinion, this portrayal is so perfect. I adore that you've shown, rather than told us about Voldemort. It's an interesting character study and I can see you had fun with it! It's also quite a change from the last two stories, which have been so normal. I liked how this fear was also normal - but only normal for a psychopath like Voldemort, obviously!

Sorry about the rambling - I think I got a little carried away, but I really enjoyed this! Fantastic, as usual :D

Author's Response: Hi!!

Well... if it makes you feel better, Sirius' chapter is a bit more existential. I am really glad it's a lot cooler than you predicted. :D Definitely glad I missed the 'less cool than predicted' marker as well. :P

I was going for a more well-rounded Voldemort. Sadistic, egotistic, oblivious-istic (had to keep with istics). I think he was too wrapped up in himself/his evil to take that more self-aware view of his life (which would have shown him how much fear he had).

I did have fun writing Voldemort - I'm really glad that came out in the chapter. I almost worry I had too much fun getting in his head. O.o He was quite a departure from Lily and James - I think the rest of the series is as well.

really, you couldn't have made me smile more if you tried. ""fantastic as usual"" are you looking for some chocolate and cookies? :D

Thank you so much - I quite enjoyed your rambling and review!

-Rose

Name: True Author (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: James -- Parenthood

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 11/02/2013

Hi again! It's nice to come back and read another chapter. =]

I really really liked the fear you have chosen here. I found it very realistic and natural. The way you described the situation and James' feelings was really effective.

And the end!! It was my favorite part of your little one-shot. I couldn't help smiling at Harry's birth. =]

Definitely good story. Looks like more interesting chapter ahead!

Ashwini

Author's Response: I'm so glad you're back for part 2!!

I couldn't help including harry's birth - I'm glad it seemed like a good ending point for the chapter. It's great to hear that the fear felt natural and realistic. I thought it'd be quite easy for other people to connect to (where perhaps Voldy's or other fears might be harder to connect with).

Thank you so much for taking the time to R&R this!!

Name: Haronione (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: Remus -- Loneliness

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 11/01/2013

Hello again, Rose! I have been wanting to get to this all day, but I got roped in to doing a 1000 piece jigsaw (which, needless to say, took a while!) Anyway, I am here now, so on with the review -

Poor, poor Remus! This must have been such a lonely and horrible time for him, and you bring out the emotion of it really well! Gah, it really hit me when Remus thinks back over the past year and how they had drifted apart. It just made me so sad for Remus :( But, that he had felt more and more alienated from the group is a great exploration of why Remus never saw Peter for what he was. I have always thought Remus was a very observant and perceptive character and that surely he would have noticed Peter's odd behaviour (for there must have been some/alot of odd behaviour from him) But, your explanation of alienation makes it more believable that he wouldn't have noticed. Fantastic. In fact, filling plot holes from the Marauder era is something you have done persistently throughout this series. And done it well, really well!!

Gah, this line got me 'Of course it's the werewolf who had the finger of blame' How awful for Remus to feel his friends would think this of him!! Although, I feel this is more his own insecurities making him think that, than anything concrete that had happened. It must have been a very low time for him :(

I loved the Christmas flashback :) Seeing them all together at a far happier time was just lovely! So light and fun, but with an undertone of the tragedy that was to come. Peter being late - was he really with his mum? I actually doubt it, not that he would have raised any suspicion here. And the undercurrent of the build up of tension between Sirius and Remus at Lily's remarks about Harry. It is a very small hint of it, but it was there. It was great that you hinted at this here but kept the focus on the positive side of this flashback. I loved the banter between them all :) (as always!) it had me giggling, especially this line from Sirius 'Domesticated. It's what we feared' loved it!

Gah, the ending!! It was heart breaking :(

This line really got me 'He knew deep down that he'd never know friendship and community like he did with his friends during the war' I just wanted to give Remus a hug at this. His life after this tragedy would not have been much better than Sirius's, yes Remus had his freedom but he had no-one to share it with, no-one to really help him through his grief :(

The quote at the start was so beautifully interwoven through this chapter. It was perfect! (I meant to mention in my review for the Sirius chapter how wonderfully you had matched the chapter to the quote, it was pure brilliance :D I was annoyed wih myself that I forgot to mention it so had to mention it here)

This was an amazing end to this short story collection. I am so sad that this is the end, I have truly enjoyed every single chapter of this fantabulous series! Thank you for such a great read :D

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: I've been sitting on this for a few days - I just like re-reading it. :)

This was probably an all time low for Remus. I really don't know what he would have done after this to bring himself out of the lull he's in here. :( I had to think of why none of them would put the facts together about Peter - I'm really glad you like how I justified his ignorance. I'm always flattered that you like my work.

I thought it was something in PoA about Sirius thinking he was the spy (and because he was a werewolf was part of the explanation).

Christmas was so bittersweet to write. I am glad it was light and fun and that the darker feeling oozed through. I wanted to have people suspicion of what Peter was really doing. You're the only one who thought that so it makes me incredibly happy!!

I wanted to hug and curl up with Remus (*cough* married, I know *cough*) after writing this chapter. I agree - Remus and Sirius had an equally miserable life after the war.

:D It's fantabulous that the quotes weaved with the chapters. Thank you so much for saying that.

I'm really glad you liked this story (and chapter). It's been a joy to write (though quite sad at times). Your reviews for this has been incredible!

-ROse

Name: heartjily4ever (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: Lily -- Future

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 11/01/2013

Hiya, this is from you asking for a review on the forums. First of all I think the whole idea is really good. It's a unique way of looking at how they felt during the way, and I think all of the chapters will map out well. I think you expressed Lily's character well, and her thoughts about James.

As for her fear, which you asked about, I think it was pretty well done. I think Lily would be worried about her wedding, after the way James treated her. I know he changed for her, but I still think there would be some of those feeling hanging around in the back of her mind and the prospect of spending forever with him must have brought them up. So I think it was really good to have her fears about that.

I think Lily would be quite brave in the face of the war, so the way she wasn't completely terrified was good. I do think she maybe could have been a little more scared - she was a muggle born after all and would be hunted. So maybe a little more worry,but not absolute terror.

Overall I really liked the chapter, and her mother as well. She seemed to tie it all in, relating them to Lily and James. I liked that. You are free to re-request another review if you would like. :D

~Frances

Author's Response: Hi Frances!!

One, I love your name! I named my first cat Frances. Two, thank you so much for getting to this review so fast!!

I'm really glad the fear is really well done. I thought about putting in more fear of the war but I didn't want to muddle the two arenas. I haven't thought about the idea of her trepidation of getting married as being tied with James' previous behavior.

It's really nice to hear that you liked Mrs. Evans. She was a delight to write about. ^_^

I'll definitely re-request. I'd love to see how you think the chapters tie together. I'm glad it looked like they'd tie well from a first reading of this chapter.

Thank you so much! Your review was incredible.

-Rose

Name: Haronione (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: Sirius -- Solitude

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 11/01/2013

I will start this review by apologising for how long it has taken me to get here! Real life has been a bit manic... but it has calmed down now so here I am :)

You gave me the feels right from the first paragraph -you set the tone well with Sirius being left alone, watching the last things he loved vanish. And then when he says 'Goodbye, Prongs' just gah, goodbyes always get me! The feels only increased as I read on.

I loved this line, even though it made me sad :( The sight of James and Lily's house ruined and full of death had nearly stopped Sirius' heart and then Sirius felt all hope had left the world forever and He was stuck in a forsaken emotional wasteland Just so sad, and would be just how Sirius would have felt. Beautifully written!

It was a great touch to have Sirius wishing he'd paid more attention to Peter's habits. Maybe if he had he wouldn't have been in this situation and Peter would not have survived a year as a traitor! And that this brought Sirius to realise that Remus was gone to him too was sad - he really was all alone :(

Ha, I love that you had Peter grow up in Lewisham - I used to live near Lewisham, it's the perfect place for that ratbag to have grown up ;)

When Sirius finally catches up with Peter he would definitely not have been in his right mind, and therefore his magical abilities would have been affected. This is a great explanation for how Peter managed to best Sirius here.

Gah, you got me again when Sirius starts hearing James :( The humour in that first conversation with James lightened the mood slightly, but then bam, you hit me with the feels again! You do this very well, Rose! That he starts conversing with James at this time is a fantastic explanation for the outward manicness of Sirius when he was captured.

Oh my, Rose, the conversation in The 'broom cupboard'. You made me cry! I asked you not to!! That was just so touching and emotional :'( And also it was a great portrayal of their relationship!

Your description of Sirius's time in Azkaban and his thought processes that led him to attempt wandless magic to eventually transform were fantastic. You explored the reasons why the Dementors didn't affect him really well - to most freedom from Azkaban would have been a happy one, but not for Sirius, not at that time when he would not really be free, just entering another type of hell really!

I absolutely loved that last conversation, that it was James that guided Sirius to his actions! I just love the thought that James was still with him, still being the friend he always had been :)

As I've told you before, Sirius is my favourite character and his story really makes me sad, it's so tragic! I feel you have written this part of his story perfectly, even if you've made it even sadder then I already found it. You have characterised him brilliantly here and, despite the fact that you made me cry, I really enjoyed reading this chapter - so thank you!

I'm off to buy some more tissues now, I shall invoice you for them later heehee ;)

Author's Response: I'm just glad when I get reviews from you. :D They're always so awesome and full of squee.

I am so sorry I made you cry. :( I'll magic some tissue your way... expect delivery any time. :P

It was emotionally hard for me to write this chapter. I tried to use James and Sirius' conversations to lighten the mood (I hadn't planned on using James but then I realized I was writing something too sad and without any dialogue).

I imagine that Sirius came up with a lot of regrets (including the wish he paid more attention to Peter). I also wanted to throw that in there to justify how I characterize Sirius in my Remus/Tonks stories (where's he's a bit more observant and notices subtle things between them). I justify my own canon at times. :P

I randomly picked Lewisham. I'm so glad it fits. I was going to say ""South London"" but as that's a real place I looked what the different boroughs were. :D

When I was writing the conversation between James and Sirius in the alley, I felt I needed to justify how Fudge described his behavior when captured. Besides having gone off the deep end slightly, if he were having a conversation with James in his head, he'd come off as quite mad and deranged.

:( I wasn't aiming for tears with the broom cupboard conversation. I'm really glad it showed their relationship in a good way though. I guess I did hit heavier topics with Sirius not wanting to be alone.

Yes! I was desperately trying to justify how he ended up trying to use magic and why he didn't break out sooner. I mean, he would have gone mad if he didn't discover he could transform but once he discovered he could do that level of magic, why not leave? All of this bothered me and I had to talk about it or I'd feel all plot-holey.

I'm really glad you enjoyed this chapter despite the tears it caused. I got all sorts of sad when I was writing it and thinking through it. It's always great when I can get feedback from a huge fan of the person I'm writing. Anytime I get your feedback it's even more awesome.

Thank you so much for reviewing this! I hope you like Remus' chapter when you get a chance to read it. It's sad but less sad than this was.

-Rose

Name: nott theodore (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: James -- Parenthood

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 10/30/2013

Hi Rose! I'm really sorry that it's taken me so long to get round to it (real life is to blame for that) but I'm finally here with your requested review!

I was really interested to see what you'd choose for James's fear after reading about Lily's, and I think you did a great job of deciding what to write about. The fear of becoming a parent is so natural, and can be applied to the real world as well as the magical one. I think it maybe highlights the fear even more because of the contrast between the normality of this fear, and the general terror of the war and chaos going on around them. And honestly, even if they weren't fighting a war it would make sense to be scared, but with it? I can't think of any parent who wouldn't worry about bringing a child into the world in a situation like that and not being able to protect them from it.

I think you develop the fear well through the story. It's not dispelled the first time that Sirius tries to lighten the mood, or even fully gone by the end of the piece, but I think you can see that James realises he's scared and that at the same time he's got to go on with life, because he will make a rubbish father if he lets the fear take over him. I liked the way you wrote that because it felt realistic to me.

There were a couple of typos that I spotted, and I'll point them out because this is really the only CC I have for you:

""smirked of the memory"" - at the memory

""James had drug this out"" - I'm not sure if this is a typo or just an Americanism, so ignore me if I'm wrong, but I think it should be dragged?

I'd also recommend looking through this again for commas, as you're missing a couple in places where they should be.

I really enjoyed your characterisation of Peter in this. One of the things that annoys me the most is when he's pushed out in Marauders stories; even at this point and up to the Potters' deaths, he was still behaving as their friend and they'd have treated him as such. Nobody would make someone they didn't like that much their Secret Keeper! Besides my little rant, it was nice seeing him here, very much a part of the friendship, joining in with the others and trying to offer some sort of advice, even though they're all ill-equipped to be offering advice on this sort of thing. But I was really pleased to see him taking an equal role in this story.

One of the things I liked the best was the friendship here, and the way that you've shown that but at the same time kept true to their canon characters. Their friendship is one of my favourite things to read about and seeing the way you used it to help James get over his fear - maybe a fear he couldn't even admit to Lily, since he's so sure she'll be a brilliant mum - was really touching.

I loved the nods to the books as well, and what will happen in the future, when James and Sirius are talking about all the things his son will do. I particularly loved the line about blowing up his aunt - even if it wasn't the one they were thinking about! All of those predictions made this story even more poignant, actually, because it reminded me that they didn't get to see Harry grow up. James never got the chance to be a father for Harry, not for more than a year, and that makes it so sad to read. At the same time, I'm even happier that his friends were able to help him over his fear because it means that he can make the most of what little time he has with his son!

This was another great installment, Rose, and again I'm sorry it took so long! Feel free to re-request!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Sian!! I'm so happy whenever I get a review from you. :D

It felt logical to go with another family-based fear for James after making Lily's about their marriage. I'm glad it came across as parenting is scary and the war doesn't help. I didn't want to underplay the war but it wasn't the focus.

Thank you so much for the feedback on how the fear was developed. For such a big/common fear, I wanted to make sure it was teased out enough to seem like a legitimate fear (versus some trivial fear that can be laughed away).

I'll definitely go in and fix that typo. I think ""had drug"" is a regional thing. It might be an Americanism. It's kind of funny because my husband (who is from the Midwest) said that dragged was right but a friend of mine (who is also from the West coast thought it was drug).

I've had a lot of comments on how I did Peter. Yours are my favorite so far. :D I was definitely trying to buck the trend that keeps him as a minor character or writes him as quite unlikable. I wanted him to seem relevant to the others and to the story. Thank you so much for pointing that out.

Writing in the nods to the books was a guilty pleasure. I wasn't sure if it'd read as corny or as a well-done/sentimental way to show what they missed in Harry's life. I'm so glad it felt like the second one. Thinking through all the milestones James missed as a parent was quite sad for me to write. They don't talk about that a lot in the books but James and Lily also lost out as parents. I felt that the most in DH when Harry is walking to Voldemort in the woods. :(

Thank you for such a wonderful review!! I'll be sure to re-request!!!

-Rose

Name: CambAngst (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: Voldemort -- Death

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 10/29/2013

Hi, there! It's been a while, for which I apologize. I see that the story is complete now, and I'm looking forward to reading more!

I guess I should start by saying that I found the premise of this chapter a little odd. I don't think of Voldemort as being any stranger to fear. He had an obsessive fear of death, one that drove him to incredible lengths. He feared Dumbledore because the old wizard had the capacity to best him if they ever dueled on even terms. That said, I can definitely get my head around the idea that Voldemort was living with the delusion that he had nothing more to fear because of the preparations he'd made against his own death. But the idea that he'd be unable to affix a name to the feeling was weird to me.

Setting that aside, I thought you did an amazing job of capturing his character. To wit: That Fenwick traitor was a death Voldemort would remember for quite some time. It was the first murder Bellatrix and the werewolf Greyback had carried out together. It was spectacularly gruesome and beautiful. That was sublime Voldemort logic. A deep appreciation for the artistry of a murder designed to send a message.

I really liked the way you worked the story of Peter's defection and betrayal into this. It's an overlooked aspect of Peter's story, and you brought a great deal of sense and believability to it. Then you gradually developed the story through Peter's ultimate betrayal of James and Lily and their deaths at Voldemort's wand. The last paragraph of this chapter was as brilliant as it was chilling. Excellent job with that!

Author's Response: Hi!! I'm really thrilled you're back! :D

I did write this from Voldemort's brain rather than my own analysis of his brain. Meaning, I do think he was riddled with fear and that he led a fear-based existence. However (as you said) he probably deluded himself into thinking he was fear-free. I could probably be tempted to write a ridiculously long essay about Voldemort's personality. I mean, he lied to himself about many things including the amount fear dictated his actions. His inability to quite pinpoint his emotions was more because he wasn't used to acknowledging or really caring what emotions he had. I think he'd try to separate himself from feelings as much as possible. It's an interpretation of the disregard he shows love. If he disregards one of the most powerful emotions people feel (because it is weak and useless) would he also eschew less powerful emotions for the same reason?

Phew - I am really glad I captured his character well. He was a scary place to write from (I keep telling people that for some reason). It wasn't too hard to see how Voldemort would enjoy, even encourage, the death eaters to rise to new levels of gross and twisted murders.

Writing about Peter ended up being a theme for me while writing this (the larger story). I debated making him one of the chapters but he didn't seem like a powerful enough narrative to have alone. I also feel that Peter is an overlooked character. His story is interesting to me (going from good/best friend to betrayer). I always felt there was a deeper issue than just fearing for his life. It means a lot to read that the last paragraph of the chapter was 'brilliant and chilling.' It was a balancing act for me to tell that part of the story without relying on exactly what the books (and movies) said happened.

Thank you so much for a great review. I hope you continue to enjoy this! i'm interested in your opinion regarding the next few fears/topics that are raised.

-Rose

Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Anonymous) · Date: 02 Jan 2019 12:59 AM · For: Remus -- Loneliness

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 10/28/2013

Rumpel here for the last chapter! (I can't believe it's ending! I suppose it would have had to at one time or another though.)

As beautiful as this was, I couldn't help but die a little inside. It was really unfair, wasn't it, that Remus had been under suspicion of being the spy due to his lycanthropy :(. Poor Remus!

Alright, let's get started before I have a breakdown. Else, you'll be left with a review covered in Rumpel's sobs. There's nothing attractive about a grown person crying after all...keep it together Rumpel.

There are so many beautiful lines that it is hard to pick just one (you do this to me often), but I think that I've spotted my favorite. The funny part is, the line that stood out to me wasn't decorated with your brilliant imagery, delicate descriptors, or pretty words (although I'd like to mention that the other lines that I loved were absolutely fabulous as well).

Okay, here's the line: ""Remus said to an empty house."" The words he actually spoke straddling this were chilling in themselves (and I'll get to that in a moment) but this line was particularly haunting. It is pure eerie symbolism of how utterly alone Remus was at the time. I'm at a loss to see how Remus even carried on at all, considering the circumstances. I'm surprised he didn't succumb to madness.

Then with Remus pondering aloud about how nobody realized that Sirius was a traitor. It's almost as if he's blaming himself. And it's all too much for me! It's so magnificent but so very sad!

...move along Rumpel.

Okay, onto the flashback to Christmas. It was a pleasant comic relief but still oh-so bitter considering what was to come. Despite that, it still made me laugh (""Did she make you comb your hair?"" Oh, Sirius :) ) So then you have Rumpel here, first on the brink of tears, then laughing, then balling and carrying on like a baby.

I don't think I need to tell you how absolutely brilliant (fantastic, awesome, magnificent, genius, haunting, maddening, and other descriptive words of the like) that this was. I did anyway...:).

Okay...I don't think that I can say much more without losing it...so...I'm going to either go read something happy or sit in a dark corner for a bit and eat ice cream. Love, love, love, LOVED this...so much.

-Rumpel

Author's Response: I've been staring at this review for several days. You've abosoltely made my week with this reivew.

My goal with this chapter wasn't to have a happy ending. I thought it would be contrary to the rest of the story and wouldn't fit thematically. Part of my is glad this broke your heart and pushed your emotions around (part of me feels bad you had a roller coaster ride).

Now that you mention Remus not succumbing to madness, I am kind of wondering how he avoided that. He certainly didn't seem to have a large network of friends outside of the ones who perished from his life. Maybe he had a miserable 10 years before going into teaching. Maybe he started doing what he dad did in his 20's and 30's (explored and learend about magical beasts). I'm sure he found something to keep his mind busy. I think Christmas would be an especially bleak time for him though.

Considering how Remus blamed himself for so much (think back to his speech in the Shrieking Shack in PoA) I'm sure he would have considered it a failing on his part to not see the trechory. I know people tend to feel that when they discover something shocking has been happening around them (Most of my examples for this aren't 12+ friendly but I could list quite a few). I think most people would be left with a ""I should have known"" pit in their stomach.

I thought the contrast between his last Christmas with his friends and the incredibly lonely one he had at the end would really show how much had changed in his life.

Thank you so much not just for reviewing this, but for following this entire story through to the end. I've greatly enjoyed (and been flattered by) your positive feedback throughout the story!!

-Rose