Name: ReillyJade (Signed) · Date: 23 Feb 2019 10:24 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hi there! I'm stopping by for BvB! :)

 

Oooh, this was so chilling and creepy, yet I couldn't look away. This is probably one of the most unique fics I've come across recently. I love the angle you took; I never gave much thought about where dementors came from, so this was a fascinating look at how they're made. I think it's interesting how they're basically born from the unpleasant parts of our world, and I love the reasoning that they're only able to feel things by stealing them from people. 

 

I think it says a lot about your main character that they were willing to trust this clearly evil being. It adds to the gravity of their pain, I think, and how desperate they were for a way out. I don't even know this person's name, but I feel deeply sorry for them. 

 

The writing in this was exquisite, too. Your words painted a very clear picture of not only the dementors themselves, but of what a chaotic, awful mess our world really is. We're consumed with greed, and it really is sickening. Sometimes, I think we're the demented ones.

 

This was a brilliant, one-of-a-kind piece. Well done!

 

Cheers,

Reilly

 

Author's Response:

Thanks for the review. I agree. I think we each have a bit of demented in each of us that we have to keep fighting.

Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 02 Feb 2019 01:25 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hey hey! I'm here with one of your prize reviews for the unreliable narrator challenge! I have wifi on my flight so was able to get to this sooner than I thought, haha.

 

I was really excited to see that this one was written for the anti protagonist story, as that was a challenge I was super interested in!

 

Omgomgomg this was awesome, I totally didn't see the end coming. Which is funny, because when  I fisrt clicked it and saw the title, I though it might be about dementors which I then promptly forgot as I started reading and somehow was under the impression that maybe it was original fiction about an abstract narrator, and then THE NARRATOR TURNED INTO A DEMENTOR AND MY MIND IS BLOWN. And it *was* an abstract concept in the beginning that gained physical form. Kind of like a poltergeist, but the opposite. (Lol that made more sense in my head I think) Anyway, this was such a cool story.i love that you keep the reader guessing in the beginning and then it all fits together at the end like the last piece of a puzzle.

 

It's really interesting to read from the dementors POV too, and the despair it feels at losing all of it's emotions,and how stealing those feelings is the only way it can experience anything. The moment when it wanted the process to reverse was oddly touching. Almost enough to make me pity a dementor, which I suppose easier the point of the challenge ;) Anyway, very well done on this, great writing!

Author's Response:

Thanks for the review. I love the part where you said abstract concept beginning to take form. That’s exactly what I was trying to do but I really struggled with writing that part. I’m glad it made sense to you. I was going for thought provoking. I hope it reached that goal.

Name: Unwritten Curse (Signed) · Date: 27 Jan 2019 01:50 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hello! I am finally here with a review for your entry! I read it when it was in the queue, but reading it again was equally chilling.

 

This is such a cool idea. I don't know how you came up with it--honestly, I am in awe of this story. I love that you took on the history of a dementor, how it became the horrible being/creature it is. And by the way, that ending line made me understand for the first time why they are called dementors. Because they cause others to relive their worst memories, to become, as you put it, "demented." They dement others--they are dementors. I guess I never really put much thought into their name before reading this, so thank you for helping me come to that realization.

 

Also, the section of sentences that start with "I am" left me breathless. So creepy (in a good way, of course). The set up is phenomenal. It got me into the proper headspace to receive the narration of the piece, where the main character is confronted with the opportunity to seek revenge on those that wronged him and ultimately chooses to become a dementor. It's fascinating, though, that he didn't know what he would become, but rather trusted this dark, evil being to help him seek revenge, and as he let the power overtake him, he transformed into a sightless, wordless dementor. And now he must suck the happiness from others in order to feel happy. He was definitely taken advantage of here, whether he sees it or not. It makes me sad for him. You totally nailed this challenge.

 

Thanks for writing this piece! I really enjoyed reading it.

 

--Gina

Author's Response:

Thanks, Gina. When we were tasked with the challenge, my thoughts immediately jumped to Voldy, but then I thought. Is there anyone worse that him in the series. (I guess I was thinking a bit like Harry with his boggart.) Then I decided that I have little sympathy for Voldemort because he, beyond being your basic meglomaniac psychopath, he had a choice in what he became. What if you didn't have a choice? or if you did realize your choices were bad until it was too late. This led me to thinking about sin impacting one's life and our society at large. . . thus the story ended up being a bit philosophical and dark, but I'm glad you liked it. 

PS When I actually starting writing, the last line was the first I wrote. 

Name: starbuck (Signed) · Date: 29 Dec 2018 11:57 AM · For: Chapter 1

hey barbara, i'm here to spread some holiday cheer! (on a definitely not cheer-y story :P )

 

i absolutely love how original this is and that you wrote about the creation of dementor and how really...they are the result of our world (sort of?)! your story is almost philosophical and i just can't stop thinking about it (i read it yesterday but didn't know the proper words to use in this review)...so i'm basically gushing over it because it's so chilling, so dark and yet so thought-provoking. you did a great job in writing this and especially the end when the transformation happens and the realisation of how twisted Sin is and what it did, how it made the dementor.

 

wow, just wow - i have no other words!

 

kris

Author's Response:

Thanks Kris, 

I recognize that is very dark and also very unique (philosophical etc.) so I wasn't sure how people would respond to it. I'm glad you like it.