Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 25 Jan 2019 07:38 AM · For: Chapter 1

Hi!  Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie.

 

This was a really interesting start to your story!  I'm all here for a Hufflepuff main character - it might only be my secondary house, but Hufflepuffs definitely don't get enough love and attention in fanfiction, so I'm loving Lyra and her friends so far.  

 

I thought you did a great job of introducing us to the protagonist and some of the other main characters without overwhelming us with too many people or too much information - everyone was introduced quite naturally, and it felt like you were showing the characters to us more than telling us about them as the story started to unfold, which was great.  I like the way that we've got to know bits about Lyra already - her house, her friends, the fact that she has a massive crush on Lorcan Scamander, and her position as Hagrid's favourite student.  You worked all those details into the chapter really well.

 

The glimpses that we got of Lyra's friends in this chapter was great, too.  Jess seems much more outgoing and less afraid to pick a fight, while Margo seems quieter and more sensitive - and her Seer abilities are fascinating!  I liked the fact that your cast of characters so far still shows a real variety of personalities, rather than typecasting Hufflepuff completely.

 

I have to admit that I'm not sure what to think of Albus Potter so far.  His initial description doesn't make him seem like the nicest - or most respectful - of guys, but given that this is a Slytherin/Hufflepuff ship (and I'm guessing, especially from the prophecy, that it's going to be Lyra/Albus), I'm going to hold out on judgement until a little later on.

 

Sian :)

Author's Response:

Thank you so much!!! :)

Name: AllenWalker (Signed) · Date: 21 Nov 2018 01:33 PM · For: Chapter 1

Seems quite nice, i'm an huge fan of Albus, especially when is in Sliytherin (as he should be), so i'm waiting for next chapter :D

Author's Response:

Glad you liked it! :)