Name: forever_dreaming (Signed) · Date: 18 Nov 2018 03:42 PM · For: i'd be ashamed of him.

EMMA. <3 I’ve missed your writing and I, the masochist that I am, was super excited to read this drabble based on the summary. 

 

I think this is such a powerful depiction of such a tense moment. In my opinion, emotional tension is something that’s really difficult to convey without being over the top, but you did such a good job letting the tension naturally escalate over the course of the drabble. I was holding my breath the entire time. The amount of grief and pure anger that Harry was feeling—it was heartbreakingly realistic and in-character. I really liked how you balanced Harry’s tendency to lash out when people he loves are hurt and his love for his friends (case in point: not wanting to kick the wireless because Ron would hate him. That made me laugh hehe). I love how you’ve so accurately captured Harry here, as the type of person who loves so hard it hurts. 

 

And the line about fathers. Ohmygod. Stab me in the heart, why don’t you? 

 

Really, really excellent job. This is a trash review because I’m still reeling emotionally, but I just absolutely loved it (and you) <3

Author's Response:

SHREYA. I have missed you!!! Your review makes me so warm and happy, thank you. <3 I have NEVER WRITTEN CANON ERA HARRY BEFORE because I was always terrified of making him OOC, so it's such a relief to hear that I accurately portrayed him! It was surprisingly easy to work out how he'd react to this. I guess because we've seen him react to death in canon.

 

Thank you again for your lovely review. <333 hopefully we'll chat soon!

Name: MadiMalfoy (Signed) · Date: 18 Nov 2018 12:41 AM · For: i'd be ashamed of him.

Hey Emma, here with your requested review! :)

 

So I saw you posted this, read it, and immediately had to nominate it for SOTM because it's just SO GOOD. I agree that the way that Remus's scene at Grimmauld Place in Deathly Hallows went was very poorly written. He deserved so much more than what JK wrote for him regarding not only that, but also his death. You gave him that by channeling your anger about that whole deal into this piece. I love how you've written it here -- Remus isn't even actually present here, as his death/murder is merely reported by Lee and reacted to by the golden trio. I really quite like how you've written Harry here too -- his reaction is so visceral and raw. He understands how Teddy will feel now though because that's essentially how Harry feels regarding his parents and how they died during the first wizarding war against Voldemort. His visceral hatred towards Remus's essential inaction towards his attackers really draws out Harry's emotions about not only this but his parents and I really liked how you did that. 

 

It's also very in-character as to how Ron & Hermione act as well regarding not only Remus's death but also Harry's reaction to it. Neither of them have dead parents (even though at this point in canon Hermione has obliviated hers) or have even really come close to losing a parent besides Ron, and Arhtur was rescued in time anyway so he wasn't in seriously life-threatening danger. I also love how you tie it back into canon-ish type events at the end with Harry saying Voldemort's name while the taboo is still a thing so then the snatchers come and find them. 

 

Honestly Emma, I am SO happy you wrote this piece because it gives Remus such a new charater direction than the bullcrap death he got with Tonks during the Battle of Hogwarts. I need to read more of your things soon because your writing is honestly so stellar. Fantastic job, dearest! :) 

~MadiMalfoy x

Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 16 Nov 2018 09:08 PM · For: i'd be ashamed of him.

For the B v. B

First, I love the AU scenerio that you've created but what I really like about it is how you woven it back into the real story.

Your characterization is on target. Harry is perfect. His self-righteous anger. His insistence of his own superior understanding of the situation. He is so typical Gryffindor. . . or maybe it's typical teenager. I'm not sure there is a difference. Ron and Hermione's rections are also spot on. Hermione the logical. Ron the clueless yet attempting to placate.

What I'm intrigued with most is how would this AU change the story. Would Tonks go fight at the Battle of Hogwarts if Remus wasn't there? I doubt it. When we meet her in the Room of Requirement, she seemed more concerned about finding her husband then defeating Death Eaters. How would this have changed the battle? Teddy's life?

Nice spin-off, Emma!

Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 12 Nov 2018 02:40 AM · For: i'd be ashamed of him.

This is soooo good!

The closing is perfect! You absolutely nailed it! :D  (And yes, I'm a little bit proud of myself because you followed my suggestion and it worked brilliantly... :P)

I loved this metaphore: it was like he'd taken one too many steps off a pier, but he hadn't noticed yet so gravity hadn't had a chance to catch up with him. So good!

Harry’s rage was wonderful! And so were Ron and Hermione's reactions! I think you captured all three of them so well!

As for Remus...I can't help but loving him anyway? I mean, I see Harry's point... your point... And yes, what he did was terribly selfish, but... it's just his way of thinking? His fear of not being good enough, of being a danger for those he loves... And I'm not justifying him, I'm just saying that... I understand?

Congratulations, you've managed to bring me close to tears on the metro again...

Brilliant job as always! Love you loads!

Chiara