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Hi, I came back for thank you review. It's my pleasure for reading your mystery again.
I wonder if I have dropped my review at this chapter when you posted this on the previous hpff. I might did at random chapters. I might copy some of my old reviews, however there happened lots of mojibake before the closure of the site, I think it's better to read and review again.
So the story, it's quite interesting the head of Aurors let the rookies drink Veritaserum. I felt relieved when I spotted the leading part was taken by Robards, not Harry, who didn't have to take all responsibility like he was forced to defeat Voldemort.
Agh! I found her on the list... it's exciting to spot the hint. So the person who cursed Pamela must be her. I need to reread this story to the end. :D
The scene with Harry and Ginny is very comfy to read on weekend. Hinny is one of my favorite ship, so I say the description at the scene, two of them on the sofa is just beautiful.
And I laughed a lot you mentioned Ron's apppetite. I like how you described his characteristics and Harry's response.
When Harry drank Veritaserum, I was afraid he would mention the time when the curse rebounded and killed Voldemort. You did the otherwise. You wrote in a more moving way. I was very impressed by his words, he corrected what he told Robards before, nobody deserves the killing curse or no one cast it without remorse.
K
Hi, Nim. Thank you again for your effort to make the site a better place.
I enjoyed this chapter again guessing that spot was thought by that character, you know I mean?
The description about James is just adorable. I remember my kid was younger, he also cried a lot when he found out his favorite thing would never be continued forever. I wonder if you did a lot research to write James and Harry.
The scene made us smile, the complete happy couple like Harry and Ginny. I grinned when Hermione responded to Harry's banter by earning him a smack, it is one of my favorite scenes you wrote.
Using the second person's POV confuses us guessing which is whose thought, which is your intention to entertain the readers, right?
The last scene sent me a chill. I try to remember who is the poor victim...
I'll be back.
K
Hey there!
I'm back to review this last chapter for the magical menagerie review event and for the Gryffindor red vs gold review battle for January 2019. I can't believe that this is the end! I feel like this story could've easily gone on for several more chapters. Alas, this is it. The finale.
I do think it's strange that he'd be so panicky right away since Harry could've left to get something to eat or had to go check on Ginny. Just him not being present at the Ministry doesn't mean that something is necessarily wrong. That being said, I think Ron is starting to put two and two together about Harry's strange behavior and unchecked anger. I know he's been worried about him for awhile.
Oh no. I knew Harry had an evil split personality. Now, it looks like he's made a run for it. That's worrisome because if the evil persona has taken over, who knows what might happen next. He could go on a massive killing spree.
Yikes! The scene that Ron finds at the end is awful. I imagine the dripping blood from the cieling is from that reporter who accidentally bumped into Ginny. It must've been an awful scene for Ron to find and even worse when he realized that Harry likely had something to do with it.
You left this on quite a cliffhanger. I imagine Ron and Hermione will have to go after Harry now. They obviously can't leave him wild and unchecked out murdering people. I do hope you'll still write the sequel at some point.
Good work on this! Even though it was some of your older writing, I thought it still held up pretty well.
~Kaitlin
Hey there!
I’m here for the magical menagerie event as well as the Gryffindor red versus gold event for January 2019. I’m sad that there’s only two chapters left of this awesome story, but I finally get to find out who’s been murdering all these people. I don’t believe that it was Marietta. (Or at least not alone)
Ginny and Harry are so cute. It’s nice to see that even all these years later they’re still so into each other. It’s too bad Harry didn’t mention that Ron and Hermione would be coming over. I imagine it’s awkward for all involved to find Harry and Ginny in a compromising position.
Harry’s reaction to Ginny getting accidentally pushed seems very extreme. I could understand being concerned about his wife’s welfare, But to start punching walls is ridiculous. He looked like a child having a temper tantrum and I’m glad that Ron and Hermione saw it. I think they’re starting to realize that something is wrong.
It looks like Harry’s evil side is going to take control. I wonder if he’s going to go after this Alex guy. If he does it would surely signal that Marietta wasn’t acting alone. It would likely blow his cover.
I think it’s cute that Ron and Hermione make time for lunch together. Such an important thing in a relationship to have cute little dates and things. I am a bit puzzled by why Hermione suddenly was worried about Harry and his whereabouts. I mean it seems like kind of a random thing to just think about all the sudden.
I’m off to the last chapter now. Hopefully Ronald will finally discover what’s been going on.
Good Work!
~Kaitlin
Hey there!
Back once more for another Magical Menagerie/Gryffindor Red vs Gold Review Battle for January 2019 review! This story has me utterly hooked. I just have to know what happens and I feel like I'm so close to the end that I have to get through it all tonight.
Oh dear. Why do people run from the auror's? I mean they have to know that they aren't going to actually escape. Ron is trained in capture and dueling and all of that. Marietta might be able to hold him off for a bit, but eventually he's going to get her.
The cliffs Marietta apparated away to sound amazing. They sort of remind me of the Cliffs of Moher. I could imagine it being pretty sketchy for her and Ron to be dueling so high above the sea. If either of them is injured and falls, it would most likely be deadly.
Oh dear. Another rough interrogation. Marietta is definitely lying, but I can't really figure out why. Obviously, she doesn't really like Harry Potter. It isn't like they were friends, so why would she participate in these murders. She doesn't owe him anything. I have a feeling that she's either under the imperius curse, doused with love potion, or confunded.
I also feel like the way she was glancing at Harry during the interview is a good indicator that he is somehow involved. It's lke she was afraid he might hurt her if she spoke.
Good work! I'll be back soon for the last couple of chapters!
~Kaitlin
Hey there!
I'm here for another Magical Menagerie and Gryffindor Red vs Gold Review Battle Review for January 2019! I'm getting close to the end of this story. Pretty soon I'll know for sure if Harry is a murderer.
Aww. Ginny and Harry are so sweet and innocent at the beginning of this chapter. I love the way that they still flirt with each other and how Harry is with baby James. It's nice that Harry tries to make time for her even when he's busy and that he doesn't mind taking her shopping.
The interrogation of Emmerson was rough. It seems like they decided he was guilty before the interview even started. In fairness, I suppose it is easy to suspect him becuase he's acting so shady. But I still have a feeling he's innocent. I think he's a red herring. In fact, I think Harry might've even set him up to divert attention.
Harry really did come close to crossing a line there. He needs to chill out. The amount of rage that's coming out of him really isn't healthy and he's likely to get himself in trouble if he keeps it up! It's like you can see the psychosis breaking through his regular personality. I'm glad that Pamela said something to him about it. She has to know that that isn't his normal behavior.
Good work! On to the next one!
~Kaitlin
Hey there!
I'm back to leave some more magical menagerie and Gryffindor Red vs Gold Review Battle Reviews for January 2019! Surely, you didn't think I was finished reviewing this story (or your author's page for that matter).
Oh, Harry and his temper. He shouldn't have stormed out like that. I'm glad that Ron is there to keep him calm and bring him back to reality. That letter seems odd to me. I'm pretty sure that Fenrir didn't actually see Marietta Edgecombe. I think it was either a confundus charm, polyjuice potion, or some other manner of disguise. (Unless Harry teamed up with Marietta to commit these murders, which I doubt)
I like the idea of Aberforth going into hiding after the war. I could totally imagine the press hounding him for details about his family, particularly about Albus. I would think that would be very painful for him and I could see why he'd want to avoid it.
Aberforth's warnings about making sure Harry's head is in the right place seems to me like another indicator that Harry is in fact the murderer. Maybe he witnessed Harry doing something not quite right and he's letting him know that he knows what's up.
This story continues to be very intriguing. I'm off to the next chapter now.
~Kaitlin
Hey there!
I'm continuing on with more reviews for the Magical Menagerie and Gryffindor Red vs Gold Review Event for January 2019! This story is so addicting and I just have to know what's going to happen next.
Ok. I had hoped that Greyback was going to meet a more harsh ending then simply being hit with an avada kedavra, but I'll take it. He is one of the worst people in the entire story, so if anyone deserved days of torture, it was him. I don't know why he stopped to look back though. If he'd sprinted off, he'd have likely gotten away.
Poor Ron. I can understand why he would stop at the sound of his best friend in agony though. I mean I know he has auror training and he's supposed to focus on the suspect, but he probably just wanted to make sure that Harry was going to live. After everything they've been through together, I can imagine that scaring him a bit.
Uh oh. There's a letter now. I wonder if this is going to finally blow the secret on Harry. I imagine it must if he saw the murder. Yes, I'm still convinced that Harry is the killer.
Good work! I'll be back after dinner to finish up the last few chapters!
~Kaitlin
Hey there!
I'm back with another Magical Menagerie and Gryffindor Red vs Gold Review Battle for January 2019 Review! Wow. I'm like halfway through this story and I really don't want to put it down. I'm so wrapped up in this case.
I feel like eventually someone has to notice Harry spacing out all of the time. I mean it's pretty weird and out of the normal for him. I would think Ron, Ginny, or Hermione would pick up on it. I suppose maybe it's easier to think it's just exhaustion than to suspect your best friend of violent murder.
What I don't understand is why Xenophelius? I mean Umbridge was a monster and Mundungus was at least a criminal. Xeno was just a scared, desperate father trying to save his daughter from certain death. Even if Harry had a psychotic break and did this, I have a hard time imagining him lumping Xeno in with those other awful people. Then when you add Walden McNair and Fenrir Greyback to the mix, I feel like Xeno really doesn't belong in this group.
I am stoked that I get to see Greyback pay for his crimes though. He definitely deserves whatever is coming to him.
On to the next chapter! Good work!
~Kaitlin
Hey there!
I'm back for another Magical Menagerie and Gryffindor Red Vs Gold Battle for January 2019 review! The farther I read, the more convinced I am that Harry is the murderer and he has a split personality. I keep hoping that it isn't the case, but there's just too many arrows pointing at him.
In this chapter, I notice that as Mundungus is being tortured, the person torturing him confuses him when he talks about Harry. Why would that confuse him if it was anyone besides Harry?
It's interesting that Mundungus was murdered over an accident that caused an injury to Harry. I mean, I could understand being angry over him getting Moody killed. But the rest of his crimes really aren't severe enough to warrant him being killed in such horrific fashion. This idicates to me that the killer is starting to lose the plot a bit. It's classic overkill.
I'd say the fact that Harry was at the station all night also indicates to me that he's the murderer. His alibi for the first two murders was that he was asleep. It's just too suspicious. I think he's going into mental fugues and waking from them not remembering what happened.
I wonder if anyone is going to figure this out. Maybe Hermione or Ron will notice that something is off and put two and two together? I mean how hard to suspect your best friend, who saved the world, of doing such gruesome things.
Off to the next chapter now! Lovely work.
~Kaitlin
Hello again!
I'm back for another Magical Menagerie Event Review as well as a Gryffindor Red vs Gold Review for January 2019! I definitely had to come check out more of this story. I need to know who the murderer is...and mainly assure myself that it isn't Harry.
This chapter just has me futher convinced that it's Harry. The reaction that Pamela has to whoever is stealing the records isn't what I'd imagine it to be if someone who wasn't supposed to be in there was looking at the records. I also think she'd have her guard up if it was a stranger. I think the fact that she was so easy to cast a memory charm on tells me it has to be part of the team.
The veritaserum thing was also interesting. I felt like Ron and Pamela's reactions were pretty normal, but Harry's final answer was a little bit questionable. I feel like there's some rage simmering under the surface and that might be like a second personality who is doing the killings.
Also, I noticed that Robards didn't take any of the truth serum. Why not? He's about as likely to be the killer as the rest of them.
Good job! The mystery keeps getting more intense. Off to read the next chapter now!
~Kaitlin
Hey there!
I'm back for another Magical Menagerie Review as well as for the Gryffindor Red vs Gold Review Battle for January 2019! As I mentioned earlier, I'm working on blowing up your AP with reviews as a little thank you for all your hardwork on the event. :)
So I have a very bad feeling after reading this story. I'm worried that the murderer might actually be Harry. Please, say it ain't so. My rationale behind this is that the murder talks for a minute in the middle of the party for James nad he compares himself to Harry. Then at the end, Harry says he needs to contact Robard just before the murderer attacks again. Either you're purposefully doing that to create a red herring or Harry is the murderer. It sort of reminds me of Fight Club, where he might not even realize that he's the bad guy.
If Harry is not the murderer, I worry about who else it could be. It would have to be someone who is close to all of them. Maybe Seamus or Dean? Maybe even one of the Weasleys? I hope that's not the case. I don't want any of them to be psychotic.
The last scene was quite gruesome. I imagine that someone else is about to be pretty severely tortured. Maybe one of the ex-Death Eaters?
Good work! I have to head to the next chapter now as I have so many questions.
~Kaitlin
Hey there!
I'm back for the Magical Menagerie Review Event as well as the Gryffindor Red vs Gold Review Battle for January 2019! I'm just going to blow up your author's page as a little thank you for all of the hardwork you've done on this event. :)
NO! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MY POOR, SWEET BABY LUNA?! I don't love Xenophelius after he betrayed Harry, but I do understand why he did it. He was trying to protect his daughter. Luna already lost one parent to a tragic situation. How could you make her lose another one to a tragic situation? *grabs a box of tissue* I think it's worse because Luna is the person who found him. I'm glad that at least Rolf was there with her.
I'm glad that it's Ron and Harry who go to question her. They understand her and her responses a lot better than anyone else. They won't question her odd reaction and they'll let her explain things in her way.
I love that Luna decorated her house with all of the photos and the golden chains of the word friends. That was a nice touch.
I have faith that Harry and Ron will catch the person who did this. I'll be curious to find out who it is. I think it must've been someone who went to Hogwarts with them and was relatively close to their inner circle. They'd have experienced Umbridge's horribleness and known that Xenophelius betrayed Harry.
Good work! I'll be back for the next chapter in just a moment!
~Kaitlin
Hey there!
I’m here to leave you a review for the magical menagerie review event on the forums as well as the Gryffindor red versus gold review event for January 2019. Since you’ve been so busy working on this event I thought I’d drop by your authors page and leave you a few reviews as thanks.
Wow! I know that Umbridge is an awful person, but this still seems harsh. I don’t know if anyone deserves to be tortured this way. I wonder who it is torturing her.
I have to say I’m quite glad that she was wearing a nightgown. When the person first broke in I was worried that that might accidentally find her naked and that’s one image I don’t need in my head. Lol.
I love that Harry and Ron are working together. It makes me so happy that they both ended up at the Auror department. I thought it was pretty funny when Gawain asked everyone what they thought of Umbridge.
The murder sounds particularly brutal. I can’t imagine being tortured to the point of ripping fingernails out. Again I realize that Umbridge is a horrible person, but I can’t help feeling like the person was torturing her unnecessarily. Who uses three unforgivable curses all at once?
I can definitely tell that this is some of your older writing. It’s quite enjoyable, but it definitely has a different style than you currently write. I’ll be very curious to see how this progresses.
Good job. And thank you again for all you do for this site!
~Kaitlin
Hi! I stopped by your mystery again. It is my pleasure to read your story. This story gave me happy time guessing who would be the culprit in the previous community. That's why I determined to reread "Cold Blood'.
I'd like to tell you the descriptions at each scene is awesome. When I read this chapter, I might write the same review before (forgive me the old reviews which should have been transferred must have been hidden deep in my pc file.), I could visualize each scene vividly in my mind.
1 the descriptions around Aurors are great. especially, you wrote the face expression of Robards carefully. I was struck in awe by your talent.
2 The scenery of Luna's home is really beautifully written. At the same time, you described her loss and her effort to behave brightly, which is very impressive. Besides, her room decoration, 'Friends', you didn't forget the most popular canon accepted by Luna fans including me. :D
3 Though I know who is "you" now, I really enjoyed how "you" would be up to something. I can enjoy this mystery twice!
K
Team Blue! Hi, I missed your mystery and came back to your story.
I think I dropped my reviews in the previous site, I feel like rereading this and I'd like to leave a review again here.
I remember the murderer yeah, I know her, but it's fresh to read from the beginning and I enjoyed it very much. In the past, I didn't know who she was, so it's interesting to read the incident knowing the murderer. I could enjoy this story twice in that way. :D
It's scary to spot the scene, Umbridge was murdered after the Cruciatus Curse. It's horrible even favoritism or obsession made people feel like murdering someone.
It must be weird for Ron and Harry to investigate Umbridge's house. All bright pink walls and her sickeningly sweet smell of perfumes! I feel for Harry who had been tortured or abused badly by her in his fifth year in the same bright pink room at Hogwarts, I guess it might be a kind of trauma for him.
I enjoyed the gap between the murder scene and the intimate and romantic scene of Harry and Ginny. Readers will definitely enjoy the ship. I know some of HP fans might seek for the other stimulating ships more, however, I simply love the ship, Hinny. So I'm happy to continue reading this story. I really like Harry centric story. I'll come back again.
;D
K
Hey!
So I thought this seemed like a really interesting concept and it's cool that you've uploaded for a future sequel.
The first section was really powerful, the 2nd person storytelling was amazing. it was really effective and it really packed an emotional punch. It really puts me in that moment and in the mind of this person which is honestly creepy. This person is really such a intense and hateful person, you've created that powerful emotions with your writing. it's very impressive.
I love the description in the first section too, it helps to set the scene really well adds to the intense vibe that this section has going on. it's like a blow by blow account of anything going on. The next section is such a contrast between the first. I loved seeing a bit Harry's life after the battle as a adult, the scene with Ginny was rather sweet
.
I think you've build up lots of interest for whats next to come especially with the first section and laying the groundwork for future chapters. I don't think there is anything wrong with characterisation in this chapter either!
- Abbi xo
Quodpot Review: Match 2 - Crime/Mystery
Okay, I'm stumped. I'm starting to question Harry as a suspect. He's starting to become a bit too obvious: the zoning out moments etc.
Like I mentioned before, I have a feeling that you are going to pull a JRK twist on me. I just don't know where to look, yet I keep going back to that birthday party. Who might have been there? James's parents, Ron, Hermione, perhaps Neville or Luna. Looking at the list, there aren't many possibilities. Then one line caught my eye: "This was a bump in the road, and you hated bumps. Almost as much as you hated people who stood in your way" and it reminded me this person is used to getting his/her way. Why is that? Because he/she plans, not just murders but everything in life. That narrows it down considerably to just one possibility.
I have a feeling this is going to be a classic JKR type where you are convinced you know everything until she implements "the twist" on you.
James's birthday party scene is eerie. It starts as a nice two year old's party and then switches to 2nd person with an insane murder narrating. It's creepy but it does narrow down the suspect list greatly. At first, I ruled out Harry and Ginny because the murder discusses them at the party, but there was some language that intrigued me: "You were not like Harry Potter, tame and willing to be a pawn in someone else's plan. You were ruthless and cunning, and your thirst for vengeance could never be pushed aside." It could be someone talking about Harry or it could be Harry's alterego. Perhaps he's suffering from a wizarding version of schizophrenia or multiple personality disorder. This could also explain some of his strange wordings while under veritsarum. For example he was sleeping during both murders. In some ways, his normal personality might be. Second was his explanations the killing curse. "No innocent person deserves to have their life taken away. And no one who can cast it without remorse should be given such a painless escape.
Perhaps my theory is completely off. Further investigation is required.
A classic who done it. It's time to pull out those deductive reasoning skills. Who could possibly despite both Lovegood and Umbridge? Two people who, at the moment, don't seem to have much in common-different sides of the war (sort of), Ministry versus Independent Thinker, closed-minded versus believes in (almost) everything.
So, first Umbridge knows the person-file that for later.
Second, he or she had access to the evidence room although I wonder how well warded that room is. Would be to break in with polyjuice? Okay, I'm hooked. More analysis in a chapter or two.
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