Name: hopelessDREAMS (Signed) · Date: 01 Jan 2019 09:59 PM · For: It All Comes Crashing Down

Hello!

It's Alicia from the forums! First off, My thread states that I won't read smut; including domestic abuse, so I had a very difficult time trying to review this properly. In the future, I don't mind a little caressing of the cheek or anything like that, just nothing too excessive like in this chapter.

However, I do like that Draco had a soft side with the letters from his mother, even though they had a hint of his father written in them. Draco does seem realistic, though. I especially loved Snapes reaction to catching Pansy with Draco.

It's a good start, though!

Name: abhorsen (Signed) · Date: 14 May 2017 12:04 PM · For: It All Comes Crashing Down

*transferred from HPFF*

 

Thus far, at least, I think you managed to capture his voice perfectly. There's just the right amount of privileged derision - e.g., planning to speak to his father about making sure that he gets credit for whatever Umbridge found, or telling Tracey Davis to write Pansy's essay for her, or deciding that he'd just keep Pansy as a mistress because the wife his parents chose for him wouldn't be as fun.

 

There's also a slightly slimy "nothing can touch me" vibe that's perfect for Draco as we knew him in the books. He reads about his father infiltrating the Ministry, and it doesn't even occur to him to worry. He just assumes that there will be a reason to celebrate. In some ways, it almost feels childlike and innocent - nobody who's actually experienced life expects it to turn out okay all the time.

 

It's a bit of a stark contrast to Harry, who throughout all the books often seemed to jump to the worst case scenario. I think that Draco as you've portrayed him here - which does seem very consistent with the books - is probably more naive than Harry was in the first book, which makes his comments about Hermione's blood status or his father's possible mistresses come off almost a bit silly to me, because I don't think that he really properly understands what a lot of it means.

 

One of the things that struck me the most, honestly, was the way Draco made sure to talk to Daphne about the letter. It's so self-important - "obviously everyone's paying attention to me and cares" and unnecessarily sneaky. He just thought he was being clever.

 

Which, as I said, is perfect. That was always how Draco came across to me in the books, too, and I think you've done a great job with him so far here. :)  (Sorry for the lack of CC - I tried, but there's nothing in here that I really wanted to critique!)

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