Name: 800 words of heaven (Signed) · Date: 03 Mar 2019 07:41 PM · For: My Sweet Little Boy

Hello! I'm still battling Nifflers, and I've rescued this review from them, on behalf of Kristen/Stella Blue!

 

I've been on a poetry kick lately, here on HPFT, so this poem immediately appealled to me. I recently read another cascading poem (for the first time), so it was nice coming into this one with a little knowledge about what the structure of a cascading poem actually is. This is quite different from my usual forays into poetry, where I know nothing at all :P

 

I love the use of iambic pentameter, here! I'm a sucker for rhythm and rhyme in poetry, so iambic pentameter is right up my alley. Whilst this poem didn't rhyme, the rhythm was so effective. It made it easier to read the poem. If you're ever keen, I'd totally want to hear this one turned into an audio format!

 

As to the content of this poem, gosh. My heart. It hurts. I just feel so much for Neville. He's technically not an orphan, since his parents are alive, but he still totally is. It was so sweet and heartbreaking reading about their relationship from Alice's point of view. Somewhere in the madness, she loves her son to the depths of her soul.

 

This was such an excellent poem! I am totally in love!

 

xx 800

Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 13 Sep 2018 06:40 PM · For: My Sweet Little Boy

Hey, Chelts! I'm here for your entry review to A Poetical Mood Challenge. 

 

First of all, excellent job with your meter. Sometimes handling meter can be a bit tricky, but you seem to have grasped the concept quite well. Second, great job including the Cascade form into this. There's a smoothness to it that is expected from any Cascading form -- so you've done a wonderful job in keeping true to it. 

 

Second, you've broken my heart! A poem from Alice's point of view, directed to Neville, had me at the brink of tears! If Alice did have some sort of moments of clarity, at least in her mind (which, canonically speaking, she may have recognized Neville, as she kept presenting him with the gum wrappers), I can imagine that it would be extremely difficult to not be able to tell her son how much she loved him and how proud of him she was verbally...only through the gum wrappers.

 

Oh gosh. I'm not crying. *cough*

 

I also love how you brought in the fact that Alice's mind is completely gone, but she does remember her 'sweet little boy'.  And time must feel as though it's moving even more quickly because Neville is not there a lot. I mean, he's got school and, as a kid, he could only visit when his Gran brought him. And I think that the lines before you know it, our time has all passed might hold a secondary meaning. Not only does it imply that Neville grew up too quickly, but it also might imply something about Alice passing on, which makes this so much more heartbreaking. 

 

I feel like this is the case especially due to the repetition of the final line. And it's so heartbreakingly sad because Neville never got to feel the extent of his mother's love. I was not looking forward to having to review this because I knew it would have me bawling again and it has, haha! 

 

At any rate, fantastic job! 

 

-Rumpels

Name: forever_dreaming (Signed) · Date: 11 Aug 2018 05:51 PM · For: My Sweet Little Boy

Hi Chelts! I’m here for Quadpot (Match 3) and BvB! 

 

First off: great job with iambic pentameter. I’m always envious of people who can handle meter constraints so well; I honestly despise meter haha, but you’ve made it seem rather effortless. I think that iambic pentameter was an excellent choice for this poem; it really gave the poem this sort of lilting rhythm, a bit like a nursery rhyme—which is tragically fitting for a poem addressed to a child. 

 

There were many many things that were heartbreaking about this poem for me, but I think most heartbreaking was the repetition of “my sweet boy” and “our time has passed.” I think that with Alice’s mental condition would probably make her prone to repetition quite often and this was a stellar way of demonstrating that—but more than that, the two lines combined have a rather devastating effect. The time has passed, but within Alice’s mind, Neville remains her sweet little boy because she’ll never really know him as anything but her sweet little boy. I think that’s always the most devastating aspect of Neville’s relationship with his parents—how they’d never have the chance to know how wonderful and brave he becomes, because of their insanity. 

 

Overall, this was an excellent poem—great use of the form and meter. Loved it! <4