Name: Renacera (Signed) · Date: 31 Jan 2021 01:48 AM · For: Somebody Else

I'm on a kick of reading Slytherin-centric stories, and I'm a huge sucker for Narcissa as a character, so here I am!

This was an absolutely precious story about parenthood. I really, really loved how you portrayed Narcissa and Lucius with baby Draco. There's something so innocent and hopeful in their quiet family life, and you just want to protect them from the darkness coming from the war.

In particular, I really loved how you wrote Narcissa. She was such a happy young mother, and I loved that she was clearly so full of joy at being Draco's mom. The precious scenes with her teaching him to walk and napping with him were to die for. And Lucius was a really good dad too! You did a good job showing a softer side to his character.

One brief "critique": I laughed out loud when Nott referred to Lucius as "Luke" at the beginning of the chapter. I don't know if anyone could get away with that, haha.

Other than that, no complaints! Good job!!

Best,
Emily


*for the Fairyland review event*

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 06 May 2019 10:53 PM · For: Somebody Else

For the Slytherin May EvS Review Battle, for Team Emerald.

 

Hi, Sam!  I very much enjoyed these four little glimpses of Lucius Malfoy as he contemplates and interacts with his baby son.  Any parent can identify with these little moments which you describe so well.  They are brief and seemingly inconsequential, but precious memories to us in our later years.

 

In the first of these four vignettes, I had to read closely and think hard to pick up the clues, scattered through the prose, of the date, the situation, and who the various infants were.  That's okay.  I enjoy a story that challenges the reader a little bit.   Everything's there; you just have to think.

 

In the third vignette, I again had to think, using the anchor of "he'd disappeared almost a year ago" to position the other facts of the story.  It must be September (maybe August) of 1992, Draco is just two years old, and Lucius took the Dark Mark before October 31 of 1991.  So Draco was about one at that time and of course didn't remember anything.  Narcissa's tears covered the time span of before October 31, 1991, (losing her husband to the Dark Lord), immediately after October 31, 1991 fearing losing him to prison), and in the months subsequent (the possibility of Voldemort's return and vengeance).  All clear.

 

Vignettes two and four were plain and open, no mental challenges.

 

In all these vignettes, we see a very different Lucius than we see in the first few books, where he treats his 'inferiors' contemptuously and berates Draco for allowing a Muggle-born girl to best him in his classwork, or in the final book, where he is wretched, beaten down by the Dark Lord.  Ah, the consequences of our choices.

 

Your writing style is excellent -- enough detail to set the scene well and not a particle more, thus avoiding the excess verbiage that can clutter and muddy the scene and obscure the focus.   The action is clear and easily visualized, and most of what we see of Lucius's thoughts is revealed by his actions, which are so telling.

 

It is good to see that Lucius, for all his failings, is not a one-note character.  Like all real people, he has many sides.

 

A very nice job.  Thank you for writing.

 

Vicki

 

Name: juls (Signed) · Date: 31 Oct 2018 10:34 PM · For: Somebody Else

Hello, Sam! I'm juls, come to do a review for you!

This story was beautiful. I love seeing the other side of characters. Especially those that seem to be written two dimensionally. There was always a hint of it in the books, how much Narcissa cared about her family (immediate and extended) but it's nice to see this side on Lucius,

I've always felt bad for Lucius towards the end. He'd lost his house elf, lost his stature with the Darl Lord, lost his wand and almost loses his life. (Then I remember just how horrible he is....)

I digressed, sorry.

I love the fleshing out you did for this characters. I've written some Narcissa, and it looks pretty close to how I feel about her. Thanks for writing this. =)

Name: Tantrum (Signed) · Date: 19 Aug 2018 07:29 PM · For: Somebody Else

It was very cute. As soon as I read the summary I knew the “somebody else” was Draco. It was some good insight into the Malfoy family dynamic. Well done! ðŸ‘�ðŸ�¼

Author's Response:

Thank you, I’m really happy that you liked it. It was just little scenes that came into my head and I wasn’t quite sure how it would turn out, but it was fun to write. :)

Name: dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap (Signed) · Date: 15 Aug 2018 03:08 PM · For: Somebody Else

Quodpot Reveiw Match 3

He got all the attention now. But as his wife laughed, so joyful, so full of love, he found himself smiling with her.

He didn’t tell her it was the other way around.

Above were my two favorite parts. There were more lines but I’m afraid my boss is going to walk into my office any minute. 

This story was short but sweet. I love their love! Lucius and Narcissi are actually one of my favorite pairings because they’re extremely versatile characters. They’re Death Eaters that actually know what it’s like to feel love so you can mold them in so many different ways but still keep them in character. You absolutely did that here! 

I loved the beginning because it showed how much Lucius cared for his wife and child. It showed the shift that happens in the relationship when a child is born. You love your partner but you love the little person you created more. You could see that with Narcissa and in the very end with Lucius. 

I do believe they would have been a loving family even though the Lucius we know is very cold. I think he would have been harder on Draco as he grew up because he needed to mold him a certain way but I see him like this when his son is little, carefree, loving and open. 

Even though we have little interaction with Narcissa ourselves you can see she loves him as well. I think it was a great idea to show them in a private setting, in their own bubble, as Draco tried to walk. It’s just a very parental moment, one that you never get back, and I’m glad they experienced it together.

This was honestly very lovely! I’m so glad you wrote it and shared it with us.