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Hi, Kevin. One more review for my story challenge. Thank you for your entry!
As I mentioned in the previous chapter review, I really like the way you developed the theme "the Old Castle and Thunder in the Forest". All descriptions about the castle is fascinating for readers, reminding us of Hogwarts Castle. Moreover, Thunder in the Forest suits Vampires so well.
And you prepared such a romantic and moving scene as the wedding after so many twists and turns. The possibility that more tragedies would happen was avoided by all HP stars and your original characters, I like them all, Kevin.
I have been worrying about Lavender Brown's future since I read the book 7 and saw the film. So I am glad you ended like this. Readers will be moved as well.
One more impressive scene is that Luna prepared the seats for Teddy's parents and Dobby.
I also like you put the episode, "The Highlander" and the Celtic jewelry Sirius prepared for Remus and Tonks. It's great you didn't forget Andromeda Tonks in the end.
I would like to add one more, I was very impressed by the musical scene as well as the chapter where Victoire would take an important role for the Weird Sisters' concert. Thinking over how long the Vampires have lived, I like the idea that they are good at composing and playing music!
I'll announce the winners after checking the others. Please wait for a while.
K
Author's Response:Kenny,
Once again, thank you for your wonderful words of praise.
I, too, wonmdered what happened to Lavender Brown...the books did not definitively say she died, in my opinion, so i thought this was the perfect story to tell some of her tale.
Yes, Luna, in my stories, is a very close friend to the Golden Quartet. If yu remember, I had her do the same at The Golden Quartet's double wedding. I felt it would be natural that she do the same for Teddy.
I thought it important to develop an original character for Victoire and, as i am a musician myself, it seemed natural for her to be musical. Also, you "hit the nail on the head" with my thinking of vampires and their long lives. What else would one do after a century or two? Of course...master an instrument or two!!
I will wait with patience while you read the other fantastic entries in your Auror Challenge. I have read them and they are all quite wonderful!!
Thanks again for your review!
Kev
Hi, Kevin. I came back to review for Auror's Tale Story Challenge Season 4. Thank you for writing two more extras for my story challenge. I really enjoyed your story
From the start, I was very thrilled at the plot, Teddy on the mission as the Trainee Auror. And you set various aspects, such as Lycanthropy and Vampirism combining with the Muggle World. As I know your specialty, I guess you are adept at entertaining people.
It's great you put together so many varieties, romance between Teddy and Victoire, the trust between the protagonist and the original characters and politics plus the famous trio.
So many actions, such as research under the covers, attack by a pack of werewolves and roping the culprits. The scene when Harry did Apparition using Ninja's moment transportation is hilarious!
The story was continued to the court scene, it was also a climax. I never expected Ron would play such an important role. At the same time I was so happy to find that he did a great job as well as Harry and Hermione.
I like the way you developed from the theme I gave you on the forums. The process is well planned and written naturally, which is connected with the previous chapters.
I'll drop one more for judge at the next chapter.
K
Author's Response:Thank you, Kenny for the fantastic review!
I knew you would like the twist with the Vampire! I think we know each other's style very well now! You are quite correct...I am an entertainer, at heart.
I truly enjoy writing what I view as a complex story. As we've dicussed before, I try to make my stories mirror real life, and we all know, real life can be very complex. I've always thought that magical life would have its own complexities, so i try to encorporate that into my stories.
I knew you would enjoy Harry's Ninja apparition...I thought of you when I wrote it because I know how much you have enjoyed my inclusion of the martial arts in my previous works. Thank you again for all of your help with the martial arts aspects...I truly appreciate it!!
Honestly, I was more than happy to trade my original scene for Pix's (I think that's who I traded with)...it fit perfectly with the ending I had in mind!!
Again, thanks for your review and I'm so happy you enjoyed my story, my good friend!!
Kev
Quodpot review for Match 2
Thank you Kevin, for explaining about an Alpha. I wanted to make sure Teddy’s next move on the case from this chapter. Your explanation, “The title "Alpha" is referring to an Alpha male, which is the leader of a wolf or dog pack. In this story, the Alpha is the leader of a werewolf pack” on the forums is very helpful.
Wow, have I told you before? Your writing romantic scene is super. K took notes: Ginny’s hair…him weak in the knees and caused his stomach to do somersaults. It’s good for Teddy that he could have a relaxed time with Victoire after his hard mission and that accusation on the Daily Prophet.
Hmm…another angst-y memory: He was disturbed his sleep: memories of “Pureblood” class mates making fun of his mother (Tonks, yes) for marrying a dirty werewolf (I feel sorry for Lupin!).
On the contrary, the readers will be happy to read the spot how he could spend a great time with his family, Potters and Weasleys. I’m so happy you didn’t forget to let Ron enter this chapter. You captured his characteristics very well. I chuckled at the scene, he mumbled when he was eating and Teddy could translated what he said! Funny. Victoire eats much as well as Ron. Eating a lot must be inherited from Weasle’s side. Oh…Ron be a great adult man. How fast years have passed away. He listens to what Teddy told him and gave him good advice.
K
Author's Response:Kenny,
You're most welcome for the explanation! Sometimes I wonder if my subconcious leaves out certain explanations on purpose, just so the reader has to leave a review to ask me to clarify! I guess that's one way to get reviews! :D
As ion my other stories, I try to be tasteful with my romantic scenes, but I feel that romance is very important to show the that the characters have real emotions. I think it makes the story more believeable.
Yes, Teddy has a lot of emotional "baggage", but Harry and all of Teddy's extended family have tried to mold him into the best person they could; they all love him very much.
Ron is one of my favorite characters and I love to show his "silly" side. He is fiercely loyal, but also very jovial and good-hearted. And yes...I believe the constant eating is a Weasley trait...at least in my mind! :D
Thanks for reviewing!!
Kev
Quodpot review for Match 2
Oh, Kevin. I’d like to add my guess to the previous one. They might use Muggle mind control to block Teddy’s memory.
Yes, smell, it must be a key! You mentioned at first, he was good at smelling.
Yeah, I’m sure your plot worked for the readers. The hero, the protagonist needs to suffer from something. Harry lost his parents when he was a baby and your Teddy is accused as a werewolf in the Auror office. There should be angst-y mood like yours. :D
He gritted his teeth disappointed, he would be no use for the wizarding society. But Harry gave him a break, a chance to spend his girlfriend.
It’s great he spent time with Victoire in 12 Grimmauld Place. Sirius must be happy to know his best mate’s son lives there. I like the tone of their conversation. You did a great job to create a very French romantic mood blended with J.K.Rowling’s essence, “Veela”. Moreover, Victoire is not just his girlfriend to be kissed. You set her as a very smart girl who listens to what Ted explains. You captured the quality of Fleur’s daughter as well.
K
Author's Response:Kenny,
You are on the right track...mostly. I can't wait until you find out exactly what has happened...I think you'll LOVE it!!
I believe you are right...Sirius must be overjoyed that Harry would give the Black inheritance to Teddy.
Yes, I didn't want Victoire to just be fluff and prettiness. I wanted her to be strong and smart, like her mother, who was a Tri-Wizard Champion.
More excitement on the way!!
Kev
Quodpot review for Match 2
Draco Malfoy secretly work for DMLE, it’s just like Snape who worked for Dumbledore. And he uses his ability, Legilimency, sounds cool. I feel like writing Draco who works as a spy. ;D
Reading Teddy’s memory again, many questions popped up in my mind. The woman used the metal equipment. What was that for? And the reason why Teddy couldn’t remember something important, I think the others might be powerful wizards. But how? It seems that they didn’t use Obliviate or Imperius. Even Incantatem didn’t work.
Draco was also thrown away as well, feeling extreme pain.
“What is Morgana’s name,” is a new expression. You maybe the first, Kevin. Every HP fanfi authors use “Merlin’s name”. :D
Wow, so risky for Malfoy to go on. He has to endure his pain to move the memory wall.
My guess was right. ;) Draco had little doubt that Ted was attacked by a powerful witch or wizard.
Hm…so complicated that Teddy, Harry and the Auror office are accused in public but they need Teddy the most. Another great chapter!
K
Author's Response:Hey, Kenny. I'm thrilled to see you again!!
It seems that whatever happened to Teddy is very powerful, right? I think you'll enjoy how this story unfold, my friend!!
Ha, ha. In my mind, Victoire is just as unique (in her own ways) as Teddy. So, I had to think of an unusual and unique phrase for her. I like it very much, don't you? :D
Quite a twist for Harry and the Aurors, isn't it...the accusations and such.
Kevin
Quodpot review for Match 2
I was so excited. Teddy actually is on his mission, working undercover! It’s a smart idea that you thought of Teddy’s rare ability. He is sensitive for the sounds and smells. Perhaps, he inherited the ability from his father. Oh, I remember one TV Drama’s protagonist who can smell the things nobody can sense. I really think your plot will be a success. Moreover, he is gifted with more acute senses of taste, sight and reflexes. You set up a hero, the protagonist’s ability very well.
Oh… a metal canister hissing to his ears. Sounds so scary. I hoped not it would hurt him. Wa…a gas canister. I’m relieved he knew the Bubble-Head Charm.
He or she conversation sounds irritating. I guess Teddy must have wanted to glance back to make sure who they were. Watch out, Teddy! The woman pulled something shiny! It must be dangerous! I held my breath…oh, no I’m afraid he was attacked as well. Then, he seems to be alive? But they altered his memory? Or blocked something important in his memory?
Oh, my guess in the previous chapter came true. Teddy is in trouble related with werewolves, the Daily Prophet’s article.
Hermione is so secretive. It’s very intriguing with Draco.
K
Author's Response:Hello again, my friend!
Yes, I wrote about Teddy's enhanced senses in my other stories, so I thought I would continue with that direction, since this story is part of the Potter Hall Series.
You are quite perceptive, Kenny. And, I'm glad you seem to enjoy Draco's addition to the story.
Thanks again for your reviews!!
Kevin
Quodpot review for Match 2 (Adding my insight to the previous review at your chapter 1)
I like the way how you start mystery with the description of Teddy Lupin in his mission. His shabby coat reminds me of his father, Remus Lupin. The readers will be happy to find a spot where the famous duo, Hermione and Harry.
It’s plausible that Harry’s professor’s son Teddy made up his mind to be an Auror following his god father. I smiled at the familiar name Auror “Proud foot”, too. I also like you didn’t forget describe about Teddy’s changing color of his hair. It seems that his emotion is well shown in his changing color of hair.
Agh, the victim’s nails and teeth and lab for analysis, it sounds quite mysterious and scary. I remembered Cormoran Strike’s series. Yes, it’s a great plot to use the wand trace.
Full moon, I have a bad vib, I hope not my guess is right. Something bad may happen to Teddy related with werewolves… Oh, the hacking, it sounds the Auror office uses Muggle technology, sounds cool!
Oh, the problem sounds more serious. The crime scenes were in homeless area. Wa.. Harry ordered his men as a Head Auror, it is super!
K
Author's Response:Kenny,
I'm so honored that you picked my story for Quodpot reviews!!
I thought the same thing about Teddy's disguise after i wrote this chapter and re-read it myself. The Muses have a strange way of using our subconcious to their advantage!
Yes...very mysterious...nails, teeth...
And, yes, I've tried to integrate Muggle technology in with Magic, especially in Harry and Hermione's Departments. It only seemed natural for them to bring some of their "Muggleness" into the Ministry.
Thanks again for the reviews, my friend!!
Kevin
Hi, Kevin. Wow, this chapter is soooo thrilling. I read through in breathless excitement. What a close! I was relieved to find Teddy didn't have to use Imperio charm. Now I am going to the next chapter.
Author's Response:Kenny,
Glad you liked it! I'm also glad I had you entralled and on the edge of your seat!
I hope you like the next chapters as much...there's more excitement on the way!!
Kevin
Hi, Kevin. Finally I could reach your story again.
Wow, you focused on mystery from the start. So exciting. You set the unidentified culprit and Ted is a trainee Auror under Harry's and Hermione's DMLE. They also use Muggle tools, it sounds cool.
I wonder what is the culprit's motivation for the horrible crimes. I hope the mission will be a success for him. Because Ted's mother is Tonks and I wish she would be proud of her son, she was also a professional Auror. You didn't forget his ability to change his hair's color.
I like the beginning with 'Harry Potter was infamous for his last plan, which against all odds, work... '
I'll be back.
K
Author's Response:Kenny,
Thanks for stopping in and starting on my story...I hope you like it, because I know how you love a good Auror story.
I thought i would jump right into the mystery on this one...I'm glad you like that!
Also, I think you'll like the martial arts and muggle tidbits I threw in the story. The last two chapters are specifically for your challenge, as I had the others written already.
Again, thanks for stopping in and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!!!
Kev
Well gosh, I'd be honored for you to use my suggestion about a series name! But not need to credit ME - it's YOUR creation. :) I'm happy just to get to read what you write!
Author's Response:Your wish is my command! I added in your series title...I absolutely love it, too! Thanks!!
How wonderful this story is! I loved your first two, in what I'll hereby christen the Potter Hall series, on HPFF, and was so happy to see that you have continued with the story. Your prose is wonderful, plots are interesting and your character development is so believable. I particularly enjoy the way you weave into your stories details about various issues (magic-muggle relations, the inner workings of Quiddich teams, martial arts, wards, house-elves and other magical folk, etc). Everything you bring to your stories feels so JKR-compatible. In my head, it just feels the things you write are instant canon! I certainly hope you will continue on with the "Potter Hall series."
Author's Response:dumbledore_wannabe,
Thank you so much for your review!! And, especially, for such kind words.
I am so happy when I hear a reader comment about the details I put in my stories. As I've said before to others, I try to make my stories entertaining by making them as believeable as I can. I try to blend the "real" world with the "magical" world to give the reader a sense that the world I'm describing actually exists.
I'm honored by your comments about JKR-compatibility and canon...thank you so much. It's one of the things I strive for in my stories...to keep JKR's world as she wrote it and just fill in some of the spaces that she left.
And...I love, love love your idea/ series title...The Potter Hall series...if you don't mind, I would like to use that and add it to my story descriptions (with credit to you, of course!!!).
I have had a few people ask for stories the Potter Hall elves may have told in my first two stories...I may just do a compilation of short stories, since you've asked so nicely!! :)
Again, thanks for the review and I hope you like the rest of the story!!!
Kevin
Author's Response:dumbledore_wannabe,
Thank you so much for your review!! And, especially, for such kind words.
I am so happy when I hear a reader comment about the details I put in my stories. As I've said before to others, I try to make my stories entertaining by making them as believeable as I can. I try to blend the "real" world with the "magical" world to give the reader a sense that the world I'm describing actually exists.
I'm honored by your comments about JKR-compatibility and canon...thank you so much. It's one of the things I strive for in my stories...to keep JKR's world as she wrote it and just fill in some of the spaces that she left.
And...I love, love love your idea/ series title...The Potter Hall series...if you don't mind, I would like to use that and add it to my story descriptions (with credit to you, of course!!!).
I have had a few people ask for stories the Potter Hall elves may have told in my first two stories...I may just do a compilation of short stories, since you've asked so nicely!! :)
Again, thank you for the review and your kind, kind words!!!!
Kevin
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