Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 28 May 2018 07:54 PM · For: Prologue

Hi Maggie!

 

Oh – this was beautiful! I absolutely adored the format in this chapter, and I’m so curious to see how you continue to tell the story from here! I especially loved how you wrote the memories in first while the present time [post-death, it seems] is in past, it’s a lovely stylistic choice and it made for such a breathtaking read.

 

(Quick disclaimer: I have not reread the Harry Potter books in a very, very long time, so I can’t actually remember much about Helena Ravenclaw, other than the fact that she was murdered by someone. The Bloody Baron, was it? I don’t know, whoops. Wait, she stole the diadem from her mother, did she? Oh my goodness if I’m remembering that correctly that shines a whole new light on this chapter.)

 

Helena’s excitement as a child was so infectious, I love it! It was so wonderful seeing Rowena leading her daughter up the tower to look at and learn about the stars. (When Helena winked back at the stars, I just about died; reading about children is my absolute favorite thing in the world because they’re all so adorable, and the way you wrote child!Helena was so cute.) The love that Rowena showed her here was just! So heartwarming!! Which makes the later sections that much more devastating.

 

I also really, really loved your idea that the children of the Founders all grew up together and were all close. There’s always this idea of division between the four Founders, and I love that it’s kept to a minimum in this chapter, that whatever disagreements they might have, it’s not the kind that causes like a full-blown war haha. When Belden got Sorted into Ravenclaw, I laughed a bit at Godric Gryffindor’s reaction. I loved that section, it was really well written! And I thought what the Sorting Hat said about Helena was really interesting, that she would’ve thrived in Gryffindor. Maybe her insistence on joining Ravenclaw was a detriment to her, in the end.

 

Gareth Gryffindor sounds like someone I would like. I wonder what his sister Amity died of? And also, I wonder what Gareth is going off to fight. Is it that Gryffindor quality in him that drives him to go to war? Ahh! I hope he’s going to be okay. Helena obviously admired him a lot, and I feel terrible for her that she had to part with someone she cared so much about on such a bad note. Also, I’m jumping around, but I love the way you showed Rowena’s progression as a parent throughout. Like, obviously I wish that Rowena continued to be a good and caring parent, but ughh her development in this story is written so, so well! But of course Helena would be furious with her mother. I would be too.

 

Ahhh I can’t wait to see what the rest of this story has to say! You write so beautifully and so cleanly, and I feel like your style of writing covers your story with this extra glitter and prettiness. It’s so good! Thank you for requesting from me, and please post in the story updates thread in the Puff Common Room once you get the next chapter up! I’d love to read it. <3

 

~Eva