Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 19 Jul 2019 04:00 PM · For: Dear Self-Satisfied Pompous Gorgeous Insufferable Assface

Hahaha that letter when Albus just unleashes his entire vocabulary of swears is incredible. I learned a great new many insults from reading that letter omg, and I’m still delighted up till now omg. My favorite is the one after “badly drawn nutsack collector” (which is perhaps my second favorite oh my goodness), which I don’t really want to write out in case it gets censored. Not entirely positive what the language rules are on the archives hahaha. But wow, Albus really pulled out the worst ones for this letter, didn’t he? I love how he began that one with a long drawn out, slightly whiny “Scooooorpiuuuuuus” and then proceed to roast Scorpius to the sun and back.

 

The non-insult part of that letter was really touching though omg. In fact, this entire letter exchange as a whole was just so cute, from Albus being dumb and sending his trash bin letter to Scorpius, and then the two sending increasingly dramatic, emotional letters to one another hahaha. I mean, these two are so clearly teenagers who are very much in love with each other, which is perhaps why their letters are slightly on the “waxing lyrical” side haha.

 

HOW DOES ALBUS HAVE SO MANY AMAZING (BUT BRUTAL) NAMES FOR SCORPIUS, LIKE THE ONE WHERE HE SAYS, “Talk about cold and stoic, Scorpius [__]burger Malfoy.”

 

And it wraps around at the end!!! Sam you’re so so good at these clever endings and parallels I love it. <3

 

Love,

Eva

Name: dreamgazer220 (Signed) · Date: 28 May 2018 09:42 PM · For: Dear Self-Satisfied Pompous Gorgeous Insufferable Assface

Sam! ♥

Okay, so, I loved this. I'm a sucker for stories told in letters anyway, but this seemed to be a fresh take on it. 

I loved how even when Al was trying to forget about Scorpius, he couldn't; and how Scorpius was able to read through it in the end.  That even through simple words and a piece of parchment, Scorpius could see through him, and I loved that Al called him on it.  In fact, I thought their whole exchange spoke volumes about their relationship, and I can't help but wonder if these two are ever going to work it out (spoiler: I hope they do).

I also love full circle and parallelism, so I thought it was great that Scorpius came back and said the same thing to Al that he said in the beginning.  Even with all of Al's cursing, it's clear that they cared about each other a lot.

I'm not sure if cute is the right word for this, but this was still a great read. Thanks for sharing with us ♥

Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2017 01:08 AM · For: Dear Self-Satisfied Pompous Gorgeous Insufferable Assface

Hey!

 

The title of this alone is spectacular. And the fact that Al sent a half-started letter full of swears in tandem with Scorpius' questioning of Al's apparent garbage-letter-picking owl is hilarious. The end of Al's second letter is pretty much my motto, though, because I never have any clue what I'm doing. Totally relatable. 

 

Scorpius' ability to analyze Albus is perfect as is the fact that Al called him a gorgeous assface, in so many words, of course. Ahh, Scorpius is in Ravenclaw in this? Definitely interesting and I dig it, because I think that he could do fantastic things in Ravenclaw. 

 

Honestly, I love that Al broke things off with Scorpius and then accused him of being the one to not 'honor' the whole, I don't want to hear from you again thing by haunting him in his dreams and so on and moreover that Scorpius agrees to Al's accusations. I love this bitter and desperate roundabout way at getting back together. It's strangely adorable. 

 

That 'dig deep' letter is particularly hysterical. Oh my goodness... these two. I love it, I love every bit of the name calling and the coarseness and profanity. And the way Scorpius sees Al in a way he's never been seen before by anyone else in his entire life <3. You know, I'm admittedly in love with this ship right now, just as they are. 

 

And it ends so openly and yet so perfectly. Those two will never be able to stay way from eachother, despite what they say. This was a fun reading in between the lines fic! 

 

-Rumpels

Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 12 Jun 2017 07:10 PM · For: Dear Self-Satisfied Pompous Gorgeous Insufferable Assface

SAM APPRECIATION MONTH! I'M HERE!

 

Also, obviously I had to pick this story because of the title. What even. I'm in love with it already and I havent even read a word of it yet.

 

Okay now I've read it and I don't have a whole lot to say other than I loved it and I love Scorbus and golly gee arent these two the cutest. Yes, Angsty Al is still precious even when he's swearing like 50 sailors, because he's trying to hide a bunch of really intense feelings and emotions by coveirng it up with some clever swear words, but anyone can see the "i love you" between the lines. sam, this story was a work of art.

Author's Response:

YAY HELLO KRISTIN

 

You are the most appreciative person, and it’s lovely. And very in character, if you ask me ;)

 

Baha, I’m glad you enjoyed the title! I think I got to the end of writing the story and realized I didn’t have a title. Sometimes I then search for phrases inside the story and that one, well, stood out. How could I say no? It certainly captures the vibe of the story XD

 

I’ve never been too into nextgen, and so my headcanons aren’t too strong. I imagine people tend to write Scorpius as the more outlandish one with Albus more collected, so I wanted to really thoroughly flip that on its head here. It was a ton of fun. I had to use a curse generator for inspiration XD

 

My favorite kind of gay boy is a gay boy who can feel with his feelings but they are downright explosive. Maybe you picked up on that? ;)

 

HAha, this is a work of art? I’m certainly not going to argue with you, but that’s not a reaction I expected on this piece, so that’s pretty neat.

 

Sam.