Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 24 Oct 2022 05:13 AM · For: Quarter of a Whole

I always like reading stories about the Founders, and this one is a great story.  I won't quote "really good lines" because they are all really good.

 

The writing flows really smoothly, and I can feel Helga's desperation and helplessness and fruitless determination in the conversation with Salazar. Nobody knows what he was really thinking, but you give him thoughts -- that he is afraid that wizarding blood will become "diluted" until wizardry no longer exists, that persons who are not pureblood wizards are "mud, dirt, filth," that compromise to achieve a mutual goal is the same as abandoning one's principles, that they four were never really in accord on anything from the very beginning, and so on.

 

I am intrigued by your having Helga ask repeatedly "What's wrong?" and speak of making mistakes and of forgiveness.  She says, "Mistakes can be undone."  I was wondering if you had some specific mistakes in mind and by whom, all four of them?  She can handle the inevitable mistakes, but he is seeking for perfection (never making mistakes) and actually thinks he can achieve it.  Oh, my.  He's not living in the real world.

 

The final lines are poignant.  He is sure that the castle will crumble (it didn't) and he wants to be standing on the outside when that happens, watching it go down to ruin, as he predicted.  That is so sad.

 

Well done.  Thank you for writing!

 

Vicki