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It's such a relief that Hermione's parents were fully recovered from her obliviating them, and it's nice to see that she enjoyed a happy summer with them as a family again, with good meals and Crookshanks as bonuses. I enjoyed Draco's POV, it was interesting to see his thoughts on what we read last chapter, and the surprise that she actually doesn't have a true memory of the experience. Hopefully it's something that comes back to her, even though it's a terrible thing to remember - if Draco saved her life, she should know about it and believe it to be true as he tries to change his ways and be better. It's important to his new story and character developement that he's believed about this - that he did something that counted and mattered BEFORE the war was won - when he still could have chosen to keep playing for the dark side. The Head Boy/Head Girl trope really is a fun one, and it will be exciting to see how their dynamic and relationship grows from here on out, now that Hermione's come around a bit.
Very intriguing opening chapter. Obviously in the books, we don't follow Ron and Hermione, so who knows what really happened down there, but perhaps a conflicted Malfoy really did help her out? It's a memory that will be interesting to see resurface when her and Malfoy reconnect for real, because despite everything that he's done to her, and everything she's always hated about him, the truth is that now each has saved the other on this night (assuming the scene from the Room of Requirement is still true in this story). Either way, Draco has saved Hermione, and that is something big that cannot be overlooked as nothing or insignificant. He made a choice, and he chose to rescue her from the people whose side he's meant to be on, and that will be really exciting to see come up in later chapters! Well done!
Hello again, my dear!
It feels like I'm always MIA from this story except during review events. But I promise I'll actually get through it someday! So here we are. :D
This chapter appeals to me for one primary reason: classes at Hogwarts. Honestly, it's so common for people to forget that Hogwarts is a school...somehow. But you don't! So this was a great chapter for that.
In Potions, I was surprised that Hermione took a few minutes to realize that the Amortentia is what's making her so aware of Draco. At first, she seems totally baffled that she's paying attention to him. But then she finally gets it. *face-palm* (Jfc, how old am I that I just typed that???) I really do enjoy that scene, though. It's a good way to show class and also the magical world, but it's also another good scene for Hermione and Draco.
One bit of CC: after Potions, they're on their way to lunch. But then the point of view changes to Harry and he thinks, "Unfortunately, we had a class of Care of Magical Creatures standing between lunchtime and us." But then they are at lunch. And then Harry and Ron are talking and say that they don't want to be late for Care of Magical Creatures. Oops. ;)
Okay, that's all for this chapter! I'll read on ASAP!
Best,
Emily
Hi again!
So, I forgot to mention it last chapter, but I was kind of surprised that Hermione asked for Starry to get a mouse for Crookshanks to eat! Ick! And also, mice have diseases. Bleh!
With that said, this was another good chapter! I have to start with my pure joy for CuRvEs (iN aLL tHe RiGhT pLaCeS). I squealed. What a Dramione throwback! Also, when they were checking each other out at different points in the chapter. Amazing. So much sexual tension, haha. Sometime soon they will be in Looooove. :D :D
I was surprised at Draco's observation of Hermione's changed attitude, especially when he thought that "Potter must have talked to her." It's interesting that he would reach that conclusion. I was also surprised to see that he was having nightmares about her being tortured. I hope it's not a premonition! But I'm very worried it might be...One edit: when they're bringing the first years to the Herbology, Draco thinks about how there are now "forty, not twenty" first years. But in a previous chapter, you mentioned 100 first years, divided equally between the houses. So it should be "fifty, not twenty."
Other than that, good job! I'll read on soon!
*for the Fangtastic Grimtown Carnevil on the forums*
Madi!
I'm so sorry it's taken me over a year to keep reading this story. But I'm here now and excited to keep reviewing for you. :D
So, this chapter is interesting for a few reasons. First, Hermione seems to have finally accepted that she's forgotten something about the night of the final battle. I wonder if she'll be able to retrieve her memory herself or if Draco will have to help her.
Her conversation with Harry was odd. I was surprised that he was so insistence that she play nice with Draco. I know Harry was always more understanding, and he did testify for Draco during his trial, but he seemed very sure that Hermione needs to get along with Draco, so that was interesting. I wonder why Harry so quickly accepted that Draco was being truthful about Hermione's memory. Maybe he's just a nice guy, haha.
Two edits to mention: when thinking about her breakup with Ron, Hermione says Ginny told her that "I didn't deserve him anyway," but I think that should be "he didn't deserve me anyway." And also, we had the same POV issue in the line "The darkness soon swallowed up a dark shape following us from a distance." In a previous review, I mentioned how Hermione's narration can't tell her things she doesn't know. If that makes sense.
Other than those things, though, great job! I'm excited to keep reading. Hope you're well, m'dear!
Best,
Emily
*for the Fangtastic Grimtown Carnevil on the forums*
Draco WAS an enormous coward. It is his defining character trait.
Hi again, Madi! I'm sorry for the delay in reading and reviewing the next chapter, but here I am!
So much happened in this chapter, so I absolutely have to start by talking about the plot. It's moving along really well and definitely keeping me interested and engaged. I'm so curious to find out who the menacing strangers are who seem so interested in punishing Draco for repenting after the war. I can tell they're going to cause a lot of trouble, and I just hope no one gets hurt!
Then the other big plot element here was Rita Skeeter's Daily Prophet article and the fake (?) fight Draco and Hermione had after seeing it. I have so many thoughts on that! First of all, I have to wonder how teen drama at Hogwarts is front-page news! It must have been a really slow news day in the magical world. Then I wondered why Draco and Hermione staged their fight. We haven't heard much about the consequences Draco might face for befriending Hermione, so it seemed curious to me that they were so keen to dispel rumors of their friendship. And they somehow both knew they needed to pretend to fight! Did they plan that beforehand, in case anyone ever confronted them on their cordiality? I'm really intrigued!
Your characterization here is good as always, and I can't wait to read on and figure out answers to some of my questions!
Just one moment of constructive criticism: The first sentence in this chapter starts with "Blaise and Malfoy" instead of "Blaise and Draco."
Okay! I'll read on soon! :)
—Emily
Hello again, m'dear!
This chapter was really interesting! I'm glad we have an answer as to why Hermione's drinks had alcohol in them the previous night. I'm worried what Theo might be up to. I know in Collateral he's good, so it's hard for me to see him otherwise, but this is clearly a more nefarious version.
Draco caring for Hermione was sweet, but then he went and messed it up by trying to use Legilimency against her. Like, dude, that is so invasive! I also want to know why Hermione can't remember him saving her, but I wouldn't go snooping around in her head for it.
It's interesting to me that Draco goes to Blaise for advice, but doesn't really seem to fully trust him. He makes sure Blaise can't get into his head before going, which is...odd, for friends. Or so I'd think. But maybe being raised around Death Eaters makes you jumpy.
I do have to admit to rolling my eyes at the "Slytherin sex god" trope, haha. I haven't seen that one in a while, so it was definitely a throw-back to remember that reputation Draco gets. I can't remember anyone in my high school having that sort of reputation, but I guess maybe fanfic world is different. XD
I'm excited to read on and figure out who our mysterious figure is! Great job again!
Omg. I love this chapter.
So, I have to start with the idea of Hermione and Draco (and Dean and Luna) teaching a class to the younger students. That's something I've never seen before. I did have a couple of questions though! First of all, how did they decide which years to teach this class to? It's just 4th years and below, right? Why not the older students too? Also, why would the 7th years be teaching this rather than an adult professor/member of the Order? Sorry for wondering so many things!
Moving on, I did love what Draco said about how the class would be pointless if it was just having people relive their trauma. I think that's very wise and true. I like that McGonagall allowed them to change it how they saw fit.
I'm so excited that this Dramione is going to include a ball! AHH. So wonderful.
The scene in the seventh years' dorm was really great. I love the idea of these students, who've been through so much and are hurting, having a moment of freedom and happiness. That scene did teach me that butterbeer is alcoholic though! Which I guess I'd never really thought about. We then move to the dancing and beer-pong stage of the night, and I could see that it wasn't going to end well for Hermione! Also, the fact that she put butterbeer in her pumpkin juice. Girl, that is a sick combination. What are you doing??
I'm glad that Draco was there to take care of her! I wonder what he meant by, "I was controlling the level of alcohol in her pumpkin juice already," though. Didn't she think it was just juice? So was he...slipping her booze? D: I hope not! But at least he was there for her in her drunken state at the end of the night.
Well, great chapter! On I read!
Another great chapter!
This one moved us in a direction to explain some of the characterization choices thus far, and I love that. You did such a good job acknowledging the weirdness between Draco and Hermione and working through the moments of awkwardness in a believable way. I really appreciated the fact that things weren't completely seamless here. They've got quite the history, so it would be weird if it was too easy for them.
So, Draco's changed. (Yay!) But I do wonder exactly why and what's prompting him to want to be compassionate and good. Is it just the after-effects of the war and what he went through? Or is there something else that changed his mind about the pureblood supremacy he was raised to believe?
The tour of the grounds was a nice chance for Hermione and Draco to shine in their new Head positions. You did especially well with Hermione's dialogue throughout that scene! And I loved Draco's enthusiasm about Quidditch. It's nice for him to have something that makes him happy.
I can't wait to see how their meeting with McGonagall goes. Great job again, and I'll read on soon!
How can I be so hooked on this story?? I know I don't have time to be bingeing this right now, and yet, I can't resist. :)
So, obviously we have several exciting things going on here in terms of plot and characterization. First, we have Draco's mysterious heirloom that Starry helps him find, and I'm quite curious to know what that is. Then we have the Heads discussing literature, which I love. I obviously have to know how Draco knows so much about Muggle authors. I don't know if that will ever be explained, but I'm picturing him sneaking away to libraries or something when he was a kid. :D
I love their entire talk about books! There were a couple of parts that made me laugh—like when Hermione subconsciously refers to Pride and Prejudice as "recent" and Draco's extended monologue about Mr. Darcy—but for the most part, I completely appreciated their discussion. I will say that there were moments that felt a little too on the nose though (e.g. Hermione talking about the ridiculousness of class expectations in Romeo and Juliet; and the talk about love, which felt a bit abrupt this early in their "friendship").
Your characterization of Draco and Hermione is still really solid! I'm interested to see that they seem to be getting along so well already! Everyone else seems surprised too. (Especially 'cause the other students just can't stop staring. XD)
So, this was another good chapter! One more piece of constructive criticism. ;) In the lines: "We were blithely unaware of the looks shared between students of all ages around us. No one noticed the movement in a stone knight statue's alcove." there's an issue with point of view. Hermione wouldn't be aware what she was unaware of. And while you offset the scene of the mysterious figure sneaking into the castle before, this last line is told as if it's part of Hermione's narration, which makes it a little confusing as to what she knows/doesn't know. Does that make sense?
I hope so! Great job, here! On I read!
Another wonderful chapter, Madi!
Great job starting off with our tier-two characters (Harry, Ron, Ginny, etc.)! You definitely showed a sense of where Ron was at after the war by how he reacted to Draco. It made a lot of sense from where we know Ron's been as a character. I'm interested to see how he and the others play into this story.
So, plot things!
One hundred seems like a lot for a new class of first years! Is that because many of them didn't start the previous year when Voldemort was in charge of Hogwarts? If so, I might add a line about that, since 100 really stood out to me as a reader. You also mentioned that they were divided equally, twenty-five to each House, which seems a little unrealistic. ;)
I love that this is a Heads' Dorm story! I'm obsessed with that trope (as you know from Collateral). And though I've heard of seventh-year dorm stories, I've never read one, so I'm very excited to see how the seventh years interact in their own dorm. Maybe we'll get some interhouse mingling!
Following from that: it surprised me that Hermione and Draco have their own personal house elf! And I was especially surprised that Hermione didn't protest her "working for" them. But I'm interested to see how Draco's kindness towards Starry will affect how Hermione sees him.
And, of course, particular compliments for him almost walking in on her in the shower. XD
Great job, again! On I read!
P.S. - Fabulous little hint there at the mysterious person slipping in through the hidden entrance!
Hello again!
Honestly, Madi, I'm so excited about this story. Fantastic first official chapter! You did such a good job showing the complexities of life after the war. I'm glad Hermione has her parents back, and I'm happy she and her friends decided to go back to the school. As you know, I'm a sucker for Dramione tropes, and I couldn't be more excited about the Head Girl/Head Boy plot! You've introduced it in such a fantastic way, and I love the added element of Hermione's missing memory. I can't wait to see what she has to do to try to recover it (if that's what she chooses).
I love your characterization of Draco in this chapter. He wants a second chance, for whatever reason, and he's willing to put himself out there to get it. I do think he'll be unlikely to grovel to anyone to get them to respect him, but I like that he's asked Hermione specifically for her help.
She's such a gem here. I think you've balanced her personality with her experiences from the war really well. And I love that she had a handout for the prefects about PTSD and other trauma effects. Absolutely wonderful. Though I did wonder: does the wizarding world have effective mental healthcare? Do they know about trauma disorders and mental health conditions? I suppose they must in this particular story, but I wonder about canon. Hmmm.
Great job here! On I read!
—Emily
My darling Madi!
After so many promises to read LMM, I'm here! And I'm so, so happy to be! I can't promise I'll read quickly, but I can promise I'll review every chapter as I do!
This first chapter is fabulous. You've done so well introducing the inciting incident and showing how it's going to affect Hermione and Draco throughout this story. And I love the plot you've started!
The flashback scene is so powerful and so well written. It shows the impact of the war and the trauma that our characters experienced. I have a similar mid-battle Dramione moment in my story "Savior," so I loved that scene here. I think you especially did a good job with Draco's final words to Hermione about locking this memory away to keep them both safe. It shows the stakes that they're facing.
The present-day moment in the ice cream shop also shows the changes that Hermione and Draco have faced since the war. I can't wait for them to come together. I'm so excited.
Your characterization so far is fabulous. You've kept similar to canon, but made them your own too. And I know you'll keep evolving them throughout this story in fantastic ways. Great job showing Hermione's own interest in her situation with Draco--it encourages my interest even more!
I'll read on ASAP! Wonderful first chapter!
Best,
Emily
something is up with my archive and it won’t allow me to log in properly
anyways
so I am absolutely drawn to this story. I cannot put it down which is probably why I’ve been binge reading since 3am (now 6am)
I love her connection between Draco and Hermione, I especially am curious about the Moly flowers, why are they so special? What can they do for Draco and hermione? Why are they so stirring?
I think it's so sweet that Draco must have talked with him mum about hermione so much so that she feels Hermione is dracos good friend and only confidant. Of course at this point she's his kost trusted friend, but I think it shows how much he feels for her. Narcissa seems a smart woman and I'll bet she already knows that much. I'm so excited about this. Especially since it's their kiss that broke Hermione into his mind!!! Eeeeeek!
#fangirling
LB
Hey Madi!
i really enjoyed this chapter and I have enjoyed where your writing has changed over the last 16 chapters!
honestly good for you writing from first person and from two different peoples point of views and switching to third to view a situation without prejudice from either main character! You really are such a talented writer!
the way Ron spoke I’m curious if he was giving her a go ahead or if he was more so making an attempt to get a rise of jealousy out of her. Ron’s character seems the type.
their first kiss is so cute and how they both trust each other to be brutally honest with one another is so sweet!
I really like where this story is going and I’m so painfully curious about who the villian is!! Ahhhhhh
im a bit obsessed here not going to lie. Dramiones are my jam, and you write both characters so well.
Good job!
Hey Madi!
I promised to review a bit as I went so here is the first review!
i really like learning more about Blaise and Draco, both characters I wish wer more prominent roles in the HP series. Draco I have a real kinship with, maybe He and I are alike in ways I cannot see for myself,
So I really enjoy the way you allow the reader to see both hermione and Draco’s Point of view and the views of third party. I’m extremely curious who the shadow creepy guy is watching the students, and also really wanna know what is gunna happen with this dark leader guy and his henchmen! You are really building up the suspense there,
I like how you are building up the relationship between Hermione and Draco’. It truly would be extremely difficult for the pair to even get along let alone ever let themselves be friends, and I like how you are taking that into account with this story! You really know hermione character too, she is portrayed very well.
i look forward to reading more and seeing the development of the story!
LB
Hi. Me again. :D
I think you handle the jumping between POVs extremely well. It's a hard thing to manage without overdoing it and/or making it too jarring, and I think you strike a good balance while also having the POV change at an appropriate moment. Like, there's clearly a reason the POV changes, rather than it being a random, "because I have to" type of thing.
I love that you made it clear that Draco as Head Boy was Dumbledore's choice. I do believe, for my own varied reasons, that he was Dumbledore's choice even in canon, but the real reason I liked your mention of it here is that there's no way Dumbledore would have left that decision up to anyone else but him. He knew his days were numbered at what was at stake for Hogwarts, so he definitely would have planned out his next set of Prefects and the Head Boy/Girl in advance. If the books taught us anything, its that Dumbleore thought of literally anything and prepared for it!
At first, I thought Draco was a little out of character when talking to Hermione, confessing his intentions right away and whatnot. But, then I remember he's had an entire summer to reflect and figure out how he was going to get through this year or school, and after thinking about it a bit more, him being blunt makes sense. He made a lot of enemies (and honestly, the fact that he's so self-aware in terms of this shows just how much he's evaluated his own actions), so he needs to seek some allies. Given what happened in the battle, Hermione is the logical choice. But, alas, he concealment of the memory was too good, and I love that even Draco didn't see that curveball coming.
It does make me happy that Hermione seems at least open to establishing some sort of harmony with Draco. She, too, likely learned a lot from the war - most notably that life is far too short to perseverate on bad blood.
Hermione's reunion with her parents ws really beautifully done. As much as I'd have liked for her to have spent some of her summer with Harry and the Weasleys, I like that she instead opted to spend all of it with her parents. Like she said, they had a lot of catching up to do!
Looking forward to more of this!
Cheers,
Reilly
Hi, there! I'm stopping by for BvB!
I've actually been meaning to stop by this story for a while now (as you know, I have a soft spot for Dramione,) and I'm sorry it's taken me so long. But, I'm so glad I'm finally here! This is definitely an intriguing start to your tale. I like the idea of Hermione burying a memory to save her (and Draco's) life. She definitely has the skills for it, but it's remarkable that she did such a good job that even she can't recall the memory herself three months later! I love that seeing Draco stirs it a bit, though, and I'm crious about how long it will take her to figure it out.
I'm also wondering why Draco looks so... not proper. Is he in hiding? Is he trying to pass as someone other than a Malfoy? Has he been cut off from his family somehow, either by choice or by force? It's very curious for sure, and again, I can't wait to find out!
Great start, love! Looking forward to more!
Cheers,
Reilly
hi madi! here for our swap. <3
okay, i can't get enough of this story now. this chapter is packed with so many details and character arcs, and the angst is so juicy, i love it.
the scene with hermione and her parents was so heartwarming and touching. it's clear that hermione appreciates them and all that they do for her, especially after being away from them and on the run for so long. i've always felt that post-war stories (the ones i've read) don't delve enough into the dynamics of her family life. restoring their memories after a year would not only take a toll on her parents but hermione as well. it was such a difficult, brave decision that she made and it must have torn her apart to do so, not knowing if she'd be able to find them again or what their lives would be like in australia without her. the love and support her parents showed her made me tear up, that was such a poignant moment, and i love that you've included it in this chapter.
the reunion between hermione and her friends was so well-written as well. the relief & happiness at being together again and finally moving forward from the events of the war was so apparent and i love how much emotion there is in such a small scene. and of course she's head girl, no surprise there. :P
draco as head boy. i did not expect that. but honestly, it fits. i mean, dumbledore clearly has plans for the school, he's not going to let something as simple as death stop him. xD seeing the goodness in draco and his willingness to do better is something so characteristic of dumbledore - he was always one for second chances - and throwing everyone in for a surprise is just the kind of thing i can totally see him doing. he'd probably be in the afterlife, sucking on a lemon drop and chortling to himself while twirling his long beard around his finger, watching house rivalries be thrown for a toss while playing cupid at the same time hahaha. i love this so much.
hermione losing her shit is the best thing ever. she's such a nice, generous person most of the time, but when she gets ticked off, her tongue is sharp. the way you've written her lashing out at draco is so good honestly. and the blunt way in which she said “Was Dumbledore barking mad to make the boy who tried to kill him the Head Boy?" – ouch. the truth stings. draco seems genuinely sorry though. i like that he’s not making excuses for his earlier behaviour and everything he put hermione through, but is trying to let his actions speak for themselves, and repent for his prejudice and meanness.
i’m really curious (and devastated) about this blocked memory of hermione’s. at first I wondered whether she’d been obliviated but that doesn’t seem to be the case here. if draco’s right and she’s repressed it to the extent that she can’t remember what happened, then it must be a lot worse than he knows. poor hermione, my heart goes out to her. :( being held under the cruciatus for a long time is not a laughing matter and it must have taken her a lot of willpower and courage to shut it out and continue functioning during the battle. but clearly, her defense mechanism was so effective that she’s completely blocked out the trauma and it’s no doubt going to come back to affect her later on. this is so sad.
i love the bit about hermione handing out papers containing information about PTSD and other problems the students could face. that is such a hermione thing to do. she’s so compassionate and thinks about things that other people may not pay attention to, going the extra mile to put in the effort to make sure they all have the coping mechanisms necessary to deal with the trauma from the war.
i also like how she also doesn’t step in during the tense moment between draco and justin. while she wasn’t attacking or opposing draco, she also wasn’t going to save him from unpleasant situations like this one. he needs to fight his battles himself, prove to the entire school that he’s actually a changed person. she’s willing to give him a chance but not blindly forgive him for everything either.
the amount of development you’ve done and the depth you’ve given to hermione and draco is so brilliant in this chapter. there are so many layers of issues that they both need to get through and deal with on their own before their relationship can evolve to a healthy romance and i’m so excited to see how everything goes. i know this was written ages ago and you haven’t come back to it in a while but I truly think it’s held up well. your writing is such a pleasure to read. <3
nim.
madi hello! i am so sorry i'm just getting around to reviewing this. i am a terrible friend, i apologise.
so, i am not normally a dramione shipper (drastoria 5ever :P) but i've always found it interesting to read all the different takes on characters and pairings. ever so often, i come across an absolute gem which makes me want to read more of that pairing, and yours is one such story, truly. i love how hermione's reading shakespeare in the opening scene. like, of course she's reading shakespeare. i love her. the sinking feeling when she saw the mysterious stranger (*cough cough* draco) and the connection to the war was so intriguing and i think it's great that we get to jump straight into the history between them.
the transition to first person was super effective in conveying the fear hermione was feeling. your descriptions were so vivid in the flashback, conveying the tenseness and fast pace of the scene so perfectly. my heart was literally racing along with hers and i think i was holding my breath throughout the scene with mcnair and dolohov. you captured the voices of the death eaters so well, it made me shudder. ugh, that was horrifying, i hate them. (well done writing them)
your characterisation of draco was SO GOOD omg. i love how well he played his role and kept up the image of being a faithful death eater to save hermione. the way he controls his emotions and expressions was impressive, so well written. and the way he said "everything." gosh. <3 i need to know more! when did he start feeling something for her? why did he choose to join the death eaters? how does he feel knowing he hurt her with his harsh words? there is so much built up with just that one word and i am hooked.
madi. this is so good. so well written. it's completely believable and fits in with canon since we know draco ultimately realised the error of his choice, so this whole storyline you're spinning has got me really curious about how things will proceed. i will be back to review the second chapter and gush some more, sorry again for the wait. <3
- nim
MADI, YOU HAVE A DRAMIONE 7TH YEAR FIC?! HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS?!
Okay, maybe I did, but WHY HAVE I NOT READ THIS BEFORE?
Please forgive me, my dear. And also, thank you for writing this. I am a huge Dramione fan and 7th year fics are my absolute favorite. I love watching them recover from the war and find each other in ways they never thought they would. I love seeing Draco repentant and moping and AH! I am so excited for this!
AND YOUR WRITING. Madi, it's beautiful! I love the descriptions and the pacing and the flow--everything is honestly breath-taking! Also, the way you set up this chapter is honestly fabulous. I love that we start with present day, Hermione enjoying an afternoon, and then seeing a face that reminds her of something that happened in the past. The flashback was dynamic and horrifying, but you write with finesse. When Draco saves her, it's the perfect amount of mystery without feeling forced. Clearly, something was on his mind, but it wasn't the time or place for him to spill the beans. Hermione is obviously curious but knows she has a job to do, so she forgets about it--for now. And then the ending, when we discover that the face she sees in none other than Draco Malfoy, the one who saved her from the Death Eaters, the one who she has lingering questions about. THIS IS MASTERFUL.
I will definitely be back to read more! Don't let me forget! Oh, and happy holidays! :)
-- Gina
Author's Response:Gina! Apologies for getting to this so late, I'm notoriously bad at responding to reviews, oops!
I DO HAVE A DRAMIONE 7TH/8TH YEAR FIC YOU BETCHA!! This is honestly too kind of a review, I don't even have the proper words to say thank you! The opening of this has been the thing I think I've reworked the least in the two re-writes I've done of the novel, so I'm extremely happy you think I've set it up well and with good groundwork upon which to build the relationship between Draco & Hermione. It's just a little taste of all the mystery and shenanigans that happen later, and I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions to everything that goes down!
Thanks for the review, Gina! :)
~Madi
Hi, finally I could reach your Dramione. Team blue!
Though I haven't written the ship, I could read yours smoothly. As I read some Dramione stories, I had a kind of mind preparation, I mean, trying to forget Ron-Hermione ship J.K.Rowling planted in her books or the film. But it wasn't required from the start. You set the situation so naturally that I didn't have to reset my thought around Draco and Hermione. Just one hint about his hidden feeling is enough for us to expect what was coming next. It's very plausible that you set the scene at Hermione's dangerous moment while her search for one of Voldemort's horcruxes inside the castle. Draco happened to save her. It's a success without Ron or Harry.
^ It could be said about the latter half, too Hermione was so absorbed in reading Muggle Hamlet while noticing Draco's momentary appearance. I didn't feel any contradiction there. I want rather to read more from the spot Draco showed his miserable state, not rich Malfoy boy -ish.
Back to the scene with the three Death Eaters, it was greatly written about Hermione's predicament. I felt worried about the result after they hunted her down, the worst thing would happen to her in the end. The crucio scene sent me a chill and her ungodly loud reminded me of Bellatrix at Malfoy manor in the film. Readers will be relieved to spot Malfoy who was on time to rescue her. What a close!
I got curious about the next move and his warning to Hermione. Did it mean she could Occlumence very well? Did Malfoy mean she should shut the mind memories not to be attacked by the other Death Eaters or the Dark Lord while Malfoy tried to make her back to Harry and Ron?
I really enjoyed this chapter.
K
Author's Response:Hi Kenny!
Aw that makes me feel so warm inside that you felt I set up the pairing of Draco & Hermione well right away from the beginning! I really wanted to add that scene of Hermione being separated from both of the boys because it illustrates her strength as a witch and a woman in battle. This was a tough scene for me to sit down and write actually, mostly because I wanted to touch on certain things and make it dark and dramatic without being over the top or super cliched. Draco coming in and saving the day (figuratively) was the way I knew I wanted it to go from the beginning, but finding hte right balance to cause her to lock the memory away in the depths of her brain was difficult.
I like to think that during the travels of the first half of Deathly Hallows that Hermione read up on Occlumency and did her best to learn it as best she could -- so I like that as a headcanon, to answer your question. :P
Thanks for the review! :)
~Madi
Hey Madi,
Here for the B vs. B review.
I knew I loved that girl: lots of book and mint chocolate chip icecream. What a wonderful combination to start out a story. The scene with McNair and Dolohov was well done. Their language was chilling and filled with descriptive language to paint the picture. I particularly like the crucio curse as a "dance" for them.
Draco told her to block the memory and she hid "the past hour deep within my walls." Are we to assume that she hid it so well within her memories that she doesn't recall it later? It's a mere tickle of memory when she seems him again, obviously worse for wear.
I do have a question about the point-of-view. Why are you switching between first and third? Does it correlate between past and present?
Author's Response:Hey Barbara! Apologies for responding soooo late!
Hermione is my kind of gal too, and mint chocolate chip ice cream is a (not) guilty pleasure of mine, so I of course had to imbue it in my portrayal of her! I'm glad you thought the flashback to the (completely made-up) scene in the Battle of Hogwarts was dark and realistic -- back when I wrote this a few years ago, I was definitely unfamiliar with writing such dark stuff, so I'm happy it still holds moderately well today. Hermione's memory blockage will come up later on, so I'm not going to spoil that for you here :P The POV thing -- for some reason I was really into switching POVs often and so that's just a thing, I can't recall in this chapter if it correlates between past and present. I do know in later chapters there is a bit where the different POVs are time-sensitive/relevant, but I don't believe this one necessarily is.
Thanks for the lovely review! :)
~Madi
Alright so I know that I have read this story once upon a time however I decided to come back to it and leave you some reviews here and to be comepletely honest, I really don't remember much of the events anyways so it's kinda like its the first time I've read it :P.
This first chapter does a really good job of setting up the story and giving us enough background information so that the readers don't feel completely lost in the events and why exactly Draco's appearance would trigger some kind of memory in her but also an idea of why she might not exactly remember what it is that he is triggering. I loved just how Hermione this opening chapter is. Her purchasing 20 different books and already sitting down and reading one not long after is very much a thing that I would expect of her.
The flashback though I would say is probably my favorite part of this chapter. I loved how it slightly deviated from the books but was still a very believable event that could have happened. Obviously during the middle of a war one might forget which staircases have vanishing steps plus all of the debrie everywhere can make things a lot trickier. But I also enjoyed how she tried hiding behind a tapestry and thought that she was safe but really she was kind of out smarted by them being quiet and acting like they had passed by her hiding spot. One thing that I did find that was slightly odd, was that she was put under a silencing spell but yet when Draco saves her the spell was not lifted and she was still able to speak. Just something really minor but it did strike me as odd.
Anyways, I did really enjoy this first chapter and I do look forward to reading more. Great job!
~Slytherinchica08
Author's Response:Hi Erica! :)
Honestly, that's totally okay, because I've definitely done that with many a WIP fic, so I appreciate your re-reading of it and the fresh thoughts you have on it! I think this opening chapter was re-written back in uh...2015, maybe? So I honestly don't remember my thought process when writing this, but I'm glad you thought it was in character and seemed plausible! I really wanted to stay true to Hermione's characterization in canon, but there's the obvious deviation of ignoring the epilogue of Deathly Hallows, so that allowed for some growth. Apparently this hidden memory is my attempt at being mysterious, but we'll see what happens later on! :P Oh, thank you for catching that -- I didn't realize I never ended the silencing spell.
Thanks for the review!! :)
~Madi
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