Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 15 Mar 2022 06:10 PM · For: Narcissa Black

Hi, Lost Muse.  Having just read your other story, "Change," about Narcissa, I was eager to see how you depicted her at the age of eleven.  (Review for the Racing Across the Galazy review drive.)

 

The special moment for me, of course, was the moment when the Sorting Hat oredicted that Narcissa was going to be "one of those extraordinary Slytherins who will bring a change.  You're destined to do something big."  I smiled when her reaction to that prophecy was that she needn't worry anymore about failing her family's expectations.  Exactly what this big thing that she was destined to do actually was, or how it would help mankind, was too vague for her eleven-year-old mind to speculate about or comprehend.  She does not know what lies in her future, but we do.

 

The Sorting Hat remains something of an enigma to us all, even today.  There is no other magical artifact like it.  What, actually does it know?  What can it do?  How much can it see of our characters?  Can it prophecy?  At least for Narciaas, the Hat is reassuring.  She puts full faith in its ability to deliver what it promises -- that someday she will do something big.  That's enough to bolster her through the challenging years ahead.

 

A nice chapter.  I like your understanding of Narcissa.

 

Vicki

Name: Renacera (Signed) · Date: 31 Jan 2021 07:42 AM · For: Scorpius Malfoy

PRECIOUS PRECIOUS PRECIOUS. :D

I love Ravenclaw Scorpius! The only time I've ever written about him, I Sorted him into Ravenclaw. (This was pre-Cursed Child, but I still mostly act like CC didn't happen, soooo... *shrug*)

I love the scene on the platform with Astoria. I can't believe Scorpius never knew his mom was a 'Puff!! But I'm really glad she told him and helped him feel comfortable with wherever he would be sorted. Again, I'm just so glad that Astoria is such a gem and that she's so supportive in ways Narcissa's parents never were.

I was a bit surprised with how distant Draco seemed, but I suppose he was in public, so maybe he's closer to his family at home? But Scorpius seemed a bit intimidated by his presence tbh. Well...I won't read too much into it, haha.

I'm really glad that Scorpius was accepted by his house, despite their initial surprise at his sorting. Astoria is right that having good friends is more important than having a "good" house. "There's no wrong or right house," after all. :)

Overall, this was a really sweet story! Great job with three very different characters! I loved seeing their different experiences. Well done!

Best,
Emily


*for the Fairyland review event, Over the Bridge*

Name: Renacera (Signed) · Date: 31 Jan 2021 07:32 AM · For: Astoria Greengrass

This is so adorable that I'm basically squealing with delight. :D :D 

I love your version of baby Astoria. I don't think I've read a Hufflepuff-Astoria story before, so this is a fun change of pace! But I really loved how you wrote her. She's so enthusiastic and excited, and she's got all the bubbliness that Narcissa before her couldn't have. To think that two women who are so different will end up family. xD

But really, Astoria is absolutely adorable. When she was so brave while she helped the other girl, I was pretty sure she would be sorted into Gryffindor, but us 'Puffs are brave in our way too! It was definitely a really strong 'Puff moment. Being helpful and loyal and hardworking are our things. :D

Anyhow, I loved Astoria's sorting, and I lovelovelove that she wasn't at all disappointed in being in Hufflepuff. She's just excited to have found where she belongs.

Great job with this chapter!!


*for the Fairyland review event, Over the Bridge*

Name: Renacera (Signed) · Date: 31 Jan 2021 07:23 AM · For: Narcissa Black

I've been on a kick of reading stories about Slytherins, so I'm very excited to have found this story featuring three different snakes!

I love Narcissa as a character. And this was a really lovely peek into her life as the youngest Black daughter. I always think that characters whose families have long traditions of being in one House or another must have so much pressure on them. Like...imagine if a Weasley was sorted into not-Gryffindor. Well...I guess we have a whole book about that sort of what-if. Cursed Child explores how much people judge Albus Severus for being sorted into Slytherin. Poor kid.

Anyway: I like that you showed that Narcissa isn't just wanting to be sorted into Slytherin because of her family, though. She also really wants to feel like she belongs to them while still getting to be clever and intelligent like Ravenclaws are prided for. I think this version of Cissy will grow a lot as she gets older and finds ways to be herself while embracing the things about Slytherin that she likes too.

Good first chapter of this story!


*for the Fairyland review event*

Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 16 Jul 2019 05:37 AM · For: Scorpius Malfoy

You’ve shown Narcissa and Astoria coming from quite different backgrounds and be sorted into very different houses, so now I’m interested to see how those two bloodlines manifest in Scorpius. 

 

Oh, again you made the choice of starting in a different setting, keeping things fresh as ever. I find it interesting that you kind of made time go in reverse, starting closest to the sorting and getting further back each time.

 

Oh, it hadn’t occurred to me, but this would be the same day as the Deathly Hallows epilogue, right? I actually don’t remember for sure if Scorpius and Albus are in the same year, but your description of the Malfoys standing apart definitely reminded me of the epilogue.

 

You would think that after eleven plus years people would be over the Malfoys, but I guess it all has to start anew with the start of Hogwarts, and all of those young kids facing each other amidst the prejudices they’ve inherited from their parents. 

 

It seems that Scorpius has some amount of fear of his father, not being able to question him and voicing his fears when he’s distracted. Hopefully not to the degree that Astoria implied it would be awful growing up with Lucius as a father, but there’s still a hint of that. Even with his Hufflepuff mother, he’s still got that house anxiety. It seems to run strongest for Slytherins, for whom family tradition and status is so central.

 

Haha, interesting that the title of Hogwarts: A HIstory has changed. I genuinely don’t know if that’s a good change or not, but it’s a fun subtle way to show the change in time.

 

I like that you give each one of the characters a different house, but I think what I like most of all is that Scorpius gets Ravenclaw, and that parallels the house that Narcissa most likely would have had if she had been free to be her truest self. It feels like by introducing Hufflepuff Astoria into the family, that door was opened in the younger generation to have that freedom. This was a really nice piece!

Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 16 Jul 2019 05:17 AM · For: Astoria Greengrass

I like that you started this chapter in a different way, with the boat journey instead of the great hall. With doing the same kind of scene three times in a row things can get repetitive, so I like how you switched things up.

 

I like that one of the first character defining traits of Astoria is not just that she loves water, but that she loves it so much that she has to have the castle pointed out to her.

 

Oh, and for her next defining moment she sees someone scared and chooses to help. But what’s really noticeable is that there’s nuance in her kindness. She can simultaneously be a little dismissive and a little impatient. It honestly makes her kindness mean more, that she is conflicted but chooses to sacrifice what she wants (going straight to the sorting) to help someone else.

 

Haha, already calling her future in laws complete maniacs.

 

Omg, Astoria starting her sorting with a hello is the most adorable thing

 

I couldn’t help but hope we’d get the name of the girl Astoria helped, but I suppose there aren’t too many students that age whose names we know. 

 

Aww, yay a Hufflepuff. I’m glad Astoria’s not as worried as Narcissa had been about her family accepting her, though it seems Daphne is a tougher case. You did a good job of showing Astoria’s Hufflepuff traits throughout this, though I hope her obligation to try to mend things doesn’t lead to too much pain with her sister.

Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 16 Jul 2019 04:49 AM · For: Narcissa Black

I like that you included Astoria here instead of Draco. Even though she’s not a blood relative to both of them, she’s just as much part of the family, and a somewhat more interesting perspective than Draco, since we know much less about her.

 

When we see Narcissa in the books she always seems so calm and collected, so it’s kind of sweet to see child Narcissa so nervous here (even if that’s not too visible on the outside). And it makes sense that it’s on the day of her sorting, which is quite literally about finding out who she is. It also makes me wonder, since you said even then she looks calm and collected when incredibly nervous, how much that we didn’t see was going on under the surface with her in the books.

 

It’s kind of heart breaking to see how much she’s forced under everyone’s expectations at just eleven years old. I feel for anyone feeling that kind of pressure, especially in the face of something as out of their control as their sorting. Not everyone in a family has to have the same personality traits, people! Your status will survive your children being themselves!

 

Ooh, I like that the Hat identified her as someone to bring change. Definitely not the change she or her family expects, but worthy of Slytherin’s greatness nonetheless. 

 

Aww, it’s sweet seeing all three of the young Black sisters together. Ooh I’d love to see a bit about who Narcissa is in her dreams.

 

Nice start!

Name: 800 words of heaven (Signed) · Date: 30 Mar 2018 09:09 PM · For: Narcissa Black

*Transferred from HPFF*

 

REVIEW TAG!

 

Well, the thing that stood out the most for me in this chapter, was Narcissa and her characterisation. I thought it was really well done!

 

In the first few lines, you managed to describe the quintessential pre-Sorting experience, with the sweaty palms and fast heartbeat, and all that, but what I really liked was that in those first lines, you also gave us an insight into the mind of eleven-year-old Narcissa in such a way that you could see her becoming the Narcissa we first meet in the books.

 

As the piece went on, I think you revealed different aspects of Narcissa's character as an adult through the mind of an eleven-year-old girl very skillfully. The line, “…she closed her eyes for a fleeting moment, wrinkled her nose like Bella had taught her,” really showed (to me, at least) that part of Narcissa that was nervous and afraid, and also that part of Narcissa that looked up to Bella. I think, these two parts of Narcissa war within her for a while during the series, and suggesting those aspects were already warring within her at such a young age, is quite insightful - it kind of makes you think that perhaps young Sirius might have felt the same way, at some point.

 

I also really enjoyed the ironic foreshadowing by the Hat at the end of this chapter - very clever, indeed!

 

A unique take on quite an intriguing character!

Name: Kerney (Anonymous) · Date: 07 Mar 2018 12:21 PM · For: Narcissa Black

Hmmm---liked seeing Astoria  corrupting the Malfoy line. Daphne seems like a bit of a bully here and I can identify subconsiously wanting to be away from your siblings. You set up Scorpius well, he's curious, questioning about his father and Astoria's being loyal and supportive in very Hufflepuffian ways.

Where your story ended, I was wondering if we were going to see Rose sitting across from him. I like that you left that an open question.