Name: patronus_charm (Anonymous) · Date: 28 Mar 2018 04:19 PM · For: Chapter 1

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Hi Rose!

Aw this story was so cute which is a strange thing to say as I?ÇÖm meant to be Ronks, Ronks, Ronks. I really adored the way you showed how their relationship changed from their playful banter and them just being friends to something more towards the end and the transition was written really well. I really loved how you had Remus worrying away as ever, it was just written really well because I could almost sense that though he thought he had feelings for Sirius he was doubting them so much he could never be sure so he just stayed quiet.

Sirius was so sweet too with the way he was just like whut someone rejected me, how? Then the way he was wondering how Remus could have even ended up as their friend because I have to wonder that too. Their little meander outside together was so cute and the ending was just so wedpwf. I was squeeing so much then.

I thought you wrote the other two Marauders (and James?ÇÖ parents too of course!) really well, and it was a lot of fun to read them. I think my favourite thing was the way they went into London and Sirius pretended to be American while sort of forgetting that he was meant to be a Muggle for a while because it was just so them and had me cracking up a lot!

Really love this chapter and I hope there?ÇÖs more up soon!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Kiana!

Ack, I'm so sorry I've been ages in responding. Life just got away from me for a bit.

As a Ronks fan, it was weird to want to write this one so bad. I'm planning on ending this in a way that makes room for Ronks (spoiler). remus is the consummate relationship doubter. I don't think I'll ever be able to write him as anything but.

Sirius was kind of fun to write in this. I imagine it was difficult for him to actuate his feelings for Remus given that they were such close friends. I have a feeling that Remus was a reluctant friend to the others (though I imagine they had some sort of catalyzing event for the four of them).

Ah! I'm so glad you liked how i wrote the marauders - they can be so tricky with all the cliches out there. Sirius' American accent had me laughing at the though. I'm a fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and was probably influenced by an episode where someone pretended to have an American accent and it was adorable.

I should really sit down and write the 2nd and 3rd part soon! I just have too much going on right now! :(

Thank you so much for such an awesome review!

-Rose

Name: Joliefille252 (Anonymous) · Date: 28 Mar 2018 04:19 PM · For: Chapter 1

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

woowoo let the ""passionate pressure"" begin! :P That was a great start! I really felt the chemistry between them, and it makes me very much wish that JKR wrote them as a couple or something!

Ugh, though what I would give to be Sirius...or Remus, lol.

Author's Response: Farah! haha, I had to reread to see where I said that. :P Of course you'd pick that phrase out. I like to think that they could have been a summer fling in canon - I wish she'd write them too!!

lol, I already gave you Remus once. :P Look what you did with that

thank you for stopping by!!

-Rose

Name: SkyEcho (Anonymous) · Date: 28 Mar 2018 04:19 PM · For: Chapter 1

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

There's something so wonderful about reading about summer when you're looking at tons of snow outside your window :) With that being said, I absolutely loved the intro and whole theme of love in three acts.

The beginning line, ""There was a new rule in the Potter house - never agree to anything James suggests before morning tea"" is perfection. I loved it. Mrs. Potter has a lot going on around her with all those boys in her house, yet she can't stay mad at them for long. Very realistic.

Ok on to the theme of the chapter. You captured their friendship really well. The banter between them is really a joy to read.

Ohhh the knee grab on the bus! That moment was worked into the scene seamlessly and came across really well. I could definitely feel Remus' struggle as he tries to figure out what's happening between him and Sirius. And there's that additional layer of wondering whether Sirius' words are more than just jokes ...on top of trying to figuring out his own feelings about everything.

I laughed at Sirius' comment to Peter about sleeping diagonally! Ah the joys of sharing a bed with your friends lol.

I enjoyed the incorporation of magic. Seeing the wall of water and how they guys play off one another was so much fun.

And aww the kiss was so sweet - I especially liked the fireflies :)

What a great start - I can't wait to read the next act!!

Author's Response: I can't imagine living somewhere super snowy. o.o we had snow that lasted 5 hours. that was nice. :) I'm really glad you liked the intro bit. I was feeling quite poetic when I wrote that.

I was worried that the beginning line would give the chapter the wrong vibe but I'm really glad it worked. I could see Mrs. Potter really liking James' friends but find them overwhelming as well.

The knee grab is in my list of things I wished happened to me on a bus with a cute guy. Alas, I have to do on-purpose knee-grabbing. ;) I'm thrilled that Remus' apprehension and doubt about his feelings for Sirius came through. I bet Sirius is one of those friends that just seems flirty all the time anyway.

I'm so glad to rarely need to share a bed with my friends. But, yeah, there's always the bed or blanket hog. :D

I'm glad the water scene was fun to read. I liked the idea of them practicing at dueling (even if it was just a fun water fight) and having Sirius and Remus work well together.

:D :D Okay, the fireflies were total self-indulgance. I'm super happy you liked the kiss! I'll be ending every chapter with a big moment. (spoiler)

I should be working on the next act soon. I have to finish the story by 3/15 (eee!)

Thank you so much for a wonderful review!!

-Rose

Name: Infinityx (Anonymous) · Date: 28 Mar 2018 04:19 PM · For: Chapter 1

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Hi Rose! Here for the BvB review battle!

Aww, this was such a cute chapter! I love how Sirus' and Remus' feelings slowly began to emerge.

That banter between them about the bus being powered by hamsters on wheels was so hilarious! I love the way you've brought that quote into the story!

I love those light moments between the four of them. The water fight, Sirius' american accent, their whining about not having space on the bed..they were all so nice to read about!

While James kicked in his sleep, there wasn't the risk of waking up with his hands somewhere private.

Hahaha this was such a great line!

Yay they kissed! I wonder how things will develop from here. And how the boys' friendship will be affected by the romance between the two. So many possibilities!

There were quite a few spelling errors in this chapter. I suggest going through it once to fix those. :)

This was so sweet! I loved reading it!

~Erin

Author's Response: Erin!!

I'm so happy you stopped by this story and that it was enjoyable! I felt so blah writing this and was having a hard time with motivation. I barely got it in before the deadline so it's in need of a good edit.

This chapter is quite light and fluffy but the future chapters will change in tone. If you listen to the song this was inspired by, it will probably give a bit away for the plot. :D

Thank you so much for reviewing and for your feedback!

-Rose

Name: maraudertimes (Anonymous) · Date: 28 Mar 2018 04:19 PM · For: Chapter 1

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Hiya Rose!

Oh, darling, this was really cute. I loved the little quote at the start about love coming in three acts and seeing the first one unfold. It was really cute.

I think the subtle flirting from Sirius was nicely handled, as it wasn't overly flirtatious to the point of James or Peter taking notice, but just enough that Remus began to flirt back slightly and wonder if it meant anything.

I think the water thing was cute because it showed that they worked really well together, although I wish Sirius would've taken off his shirt (purely because it was wet, of course).

This was cute and I liked the ending because Sirius initiated it but Remus responded. Great job!

Also, I really liked how you used the quote. It's seamlessly inserted and really helps with the development of the story.

Great job!

Lo:)

Author's Response: Lo!!!

I'm so happy you liked this! I wasn't sure if you like wolfstar but I've had an itch to write them for a while. :D The bit at the beginning was kind of fun to write. I liked being all poetic about their relationship.

It was hard to balance out fliration with friendship. I wanted to be clear that they're friends with this new layer building around them. Of course Remus had to be all unsure about Sirius' actions and not that confident in himself.

*sigh* if you and Rumpel had your way there wouldn't be clothing in this story :P I'm glad their water fight cooperation was fun to read. I did just want a reason to think about them soaking wet and ... I should get back to responding. :P

I thought it would have to be Sirius who initiated - though it was iffy on whether Remus would respond. I decided that after all the flirty stuff he'd be ready for a nice kiss.

Thank you so much for a fantab review and for making such a fun challenge!

-Rose

Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Anonymous) · Date: 28 Mar 2018 04:19 PM · For: Chapter 1

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Of course Mrs. P lost her frustration as soon as Remus apologized -- nobody can stay mad at Remus...he's, well, he's Remus!

Sirius can be distracting.

Oh yeah, I remember the hamster emancipation... That was a great conversation. Accidental knee-grabbing ;) awesome. Oh, no Sirius...don't stop your sentence there!! Continue, please...for Rumpel's sake?

Warm is good, and therefore there is no need to open a window! *Cough* None of these characters are listening to me (but that's probably a good thing)!

Ooh, poor Remus has to sleep with James, night-fighter, because he's afraid his hands will be...uhm...somewhere! :D

Holy crows...they kissed! :D :D

Awe, I've got the happies!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Rumpel! (and baby Rumpel too!)

I couldn't have her stay mad. I mean, the combo of it being Remus and the fact that she's generally a rather cool/laid back lady meant she'd be back to not mad quite fast. But, yeah, can't stay mad at remus (unless he's not snogging Grace in Everto!!!)

Sirius is quite distracting. He distracted me for hours while I wrote this. o.o

Confession - I haven't read anything by Michael Grant. My use of the quote was pure random placement. :D Accidental knee grabbing happens a lot on buses with people and lurching starts. Sirius had to stop so he could talk with the tour guide. You'll get more later! I promise!!

...if they listened to you I don't think I'd be able to post my story on this site. :P

At least Remus is aware of his hands' intentions. :D

THEY DID KISS!!

Yay! I wanted you to get the happies with this chapter!

Thank you much for a lovely review!

-Rose

Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 13 Jan 2018 10:36 PM · For: Chapter 4

Oh, this is such an uplifting ending, from the awkwardness to the attempts at returning to the old camaraderie to the decision to start everything all over again... I would feel so happy if I didn't know that Sirius will die later on.

 

But since these two characters evidently don't know that tragic fact, I'll feel happy for them anyway. As soon as I looked at the date, my heart already began melting a little, because I knew that Harry was in Hogwarts at this point and Remus and Sirius were still taking care of him, loving him, etc. And then add on the little pieces of hope and optimism scattered throughout this chapter, and you have a wonderful feel-good ending.

 

I think that this is a good ending, especially after the last two chapters, because sometimes painful stories need relatively clean endings, otherwise everyone would just die of angst and then that would be that. So I really liked this. Really.

 

I'm so happy that they're able to try again, after all these years. I suppose love can withstand all time.

 

Really, really wonderful story. Thank you so much for requesting from me! <3

 

~Eva

Author's Response:

hi eva!

I didn't plan on writing this part of the story originally. It was just that even I felt so sad and depressed after my last chapter that I thought of this one. I think the irony for my universe is that I write all about Remus and Tonks getting together a year-ish after this. I even have a story that is Sirius' brokenhearted POV of their relationship. So, for folks who read all of that before this, it was a salt in wound ending still. I like to do that. 

But, yeah, I did feel a little repreive was needed and I'm really glad you like how it ended. I couldn't write them as getting back together for many reasons (headcanon being a large factor) but I also couldn't see it being very true to Remus. Not after that much time and not after that much hurt. 

I can't tell you how much your reviews have meant to me on this story. Thank you so very, very much!!!

Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 13 Jan 2018 09:59 PM · For: Chapter 3

I thought (quite incorrectly) that after the dramatic and troubling events of the last chapter, things couldn't get much more heart-wrenching from there. I was very, very wrong. Instead, we have Remus isolated from his friends, having gone through one of the messiest breakups I've read in fic, and we have Sirius being completely untrusting of his ex-boyfriend.

 

My poor heart.

 

I thought the segue between the introduction, which provided the current setting of Remus, and the flashback to the memory of the meeting was excellently done. It felt natural and smooth, and I didn't feel any jarring, disconnecting feeling at all.

 

You also wrote Sirius in a very interesting way this chapter. Unlike the previous two chapters, Sirius is really, deeply hurt from the way Remus was cautious about moving forward with the relationship. Sirius' bitterness really shows here through his hateful, hateful words about werewolves, both in the flashback and in the current timeline. I feel so sorry for Remus, because Sirius is holding a grudge and projecting prejudices onto him that shouldn't even be there in the first place. I feel like if I were Remus, I would feel absolutely torn up inside that the one man I formerly loved was accusing me of being a traitor.

 

(Really ironic, considering we all know who the real traitor turns out to be in the end.)

 

Remus has forever been one of my favorite characters in the novels, and this chapter did not disappoint in that respect. The isolation you wrote him with was really well done; I really do like that he was emotionally closed off from his friends due to the constraints of distance, and that just made his relationship with everyone worse.

 

Really good chapter!

Author's Response:

This chapter was the one I had in mind before I wrote the first two. I was really excited to break everyone's heart with this. That said, I'm really happy it had the right impact on you. I felt like this was my best show of Rmus and Sirius (perhaps at the worst time and in a horrible situation). 

I thought Sirius would have the furthest to go developmentally between the start of the story and here. I hated writing him in this state but I always felt there had to be such a huge wedge between him and Remus for Sirius to not trust Remus as the secret keeper swtich and for Remus to accept Sirius betrayed James. Sirius' prejudices were also hard to write. I justified it to myself based on my experiences with exes of mine who reverted to racial and ethnic stereotypes when we broke up. Relationship disress brings out the worst in some people and stirs up latent bigotry. :/ 

I love Remus. I have an entire novel I wrote from his POV so it's really excited to get someone who also loves him to like how I write him. Because, he means a lot to me. 

Thank you so much for a wonderful review!

Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 02 Jan 2018 11:55 PM · For: Chapter 2

This chapter made me feel so sad by the end. It left me with so many different questions, like: Why did Sirius cheat on Remus like this? Is it all one giant, unfortunate misunderstanding? Did Sirius somehow, magically, not cheat on Remus? (If you can't tell, I'm seriously hoping that a miracle happened and that Sirius did not just make the biggest mistake of his life, haha. Cheating incidents always make me feel really emotionally distraught.)

 

I really liked the beginning, of the two spying on a Death Eater meeting in Knockturn Alley. I thought the small little signs of affection between Remus and Sirius were so, so cute, with the quick pecks on the lips and the cheek kisses. Every time one of those occurred, I just felt this delightful joy in my stomach.

 

I also thought the beginning was a good way to introduce this new era in their lives -- a few years after Hogwarts, considerably more mature, and acting in accordance with the Order now. The beginning showcased Sirius and Remus' differences quite well, with Sirius being reckless and somewhat stupid, while Remus was scrambling to catch up with him. (The leash debacle was simultaneously funny and scary, haha. I was so scared that the Death Eaters would go after Remus, once they felt suspicious of his lying.)

 

All the various scenes discussing James and Lily's wedding preparation, and then the actual wedding day, were also really sweet. (In the end, the emotion was closer to bittersweet, due to the giant conflict between the two presented at the end of the chapter.) I thought it was completely in-character, how Remus doesn't want to stay with Sirius overnight, and how he wants to wait for a special occasion to say something about their relationship. (At that point, they'd been dating for a couple years, right?)

 

I understand your concerns about characterization and flow. I think it's always difficult to write our favorite characters doing questionable actions, like Sirius supposedly did at the end. Personally, I find it out-of-character for Sirius to do that (though there is still my hope that he didn't actually lol), but I think with a more extensive set-up, you could make it work. For me, it just happened too suddenly. I didn't have time to process Sirius's distance from Remus before Sirius's cheating suddenly happened. Just a few more paragraphs discussing a sense of separation would probably help!

 

Otherwise, I really enjoyed this chapter! <3

 

~Eva

Author's Response:

Hi Eva!

This chapter was supposed to leave people shocked, sad, angry, and full of disbelief. There's no mistaking that Sirius was making a move on Fabian but it was a terrible mistake (also him reacting to feeling insecure with Remus). You make a really good point about needing to bring in Sirius' perspective a bit to show where he's on the verge of doing something dumb. 

I really glad you liked the tone and events of the first part of the chapter - it's a definite contrast to wedding reception. I work on more set up before the wedding (I kind of have the right fodder for them to get in a fight before the wedding) to pull the POV away from being so Remus focused.

Thank you so much for the wonderful review! 

-Rose 

Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 28 Dec 2017 10:01 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hi Rose!

 

I really enjoyed reading this first chapter. I'm sure more angsty events will occur later on in the story, but I appreciated the lightheartedness that you chose to start the story off with. It was entertaining and engaging, and I continually felt compelled to keep reading, to see what other antics the Marauders boys came up with. I always like a generally happy beginning for a story that may get angstier and more dramatic along the way.

 

I loved the shenanigans that the Marauders got up to in this chapter. They were too rowdy while playing Quidditch, so Mrs. Potter stopped the game and asked them to go to London instead (which I think is the funniest thing), and everything that ensued was hilarious. Sirius pretending to be American and completely failing was the best thing ever. When they went to Godric's Hollow and suddenly began a water fight, I was thinking, "Of course they would. That's exactly what they would do." It was good to see that the boys know how to have fun in both the Muggle and the wizarding world, haha.

 

Seeing Remus and Sirius slowly bonding more as they spend their weeks together was really great. Every instance of Sirius flirting with Remus, and Remus being too shy or awkward to respond properly, was really cute, and it made me really happy. When they finally kissed, I was squealing inside. It was just too cute. (I get the feeling that it's not always going to be happy and cute like this haha.) When Sirius said "hormones" instead of "pheromones," I was smiling so hard.

 

You mentioned in the request that you were concerned about flow. Your flow is really good; there were only two small sections where I felt a minor interruption in the flow.

 

The first is that the introduction paragraph has an different tone and narration style from the rest of the chapter. The intro paragraph gave me certain expectations for the rest of the chapter, so I was surprised at the more humorous tone that the chapter took on. (But I do really like the intro paragraph, and what it says. I think perhaps if the whole story was up, I would be able to see it better.)

 

The second is that there's this one line in the middle: "Over the next few weeks, Sirius and Remus drew slowly closer to one another like two celestial bodies being pulled in by the other’s gravitational pull." I feel as though this line skims over a large part of their budding relationship. I completely understand that you don't want to go into detail, but I think a few quick examples would have worked to help support this sentence.

 

But the rest of the chapter's flow worked great! I didn't feel any real discontinuity or jumpiness throughout, and I thought the story remained consistently well-paced throughout.

 

You also mentioned characterization as one of your concerns. I really liked the characterization, especially that of Remus and Sirius. They were distinctly different, with Sirius being considerably more outgoing than Remus, and with Remus being shyer and cuter and more blush-y. (Every time he blushed, my heart melted.) That scene where the two of them were discussing hamsters was so perfectly characterized, I loved it. I don't think characterization is an issue for you. <3

 

I really enjoyed this first chapter! Thank you for sending it to me to read. :)

 

~Eva

Author's Response:

Eva!

Wow, this review was just the best. I'm so glad you liked the marauder antics and all the mischief they get up to! I like writing them as a group but I've only ever done it a handful of times. I imagine Mrs. Potter was barely holding herself together when she broke up the quidditch match. I know I would have been close to losing it! 

hehe, it's great that the awkward budding romance felt legit. I dunno, I'm not great with doing romance stuff in rl so writing it is usually based on me guessing what normal people do. :P 

Re: flow -- I think the intro tone makes more sense for the story as a whole but you're right that it kind of clashes with this chapter. It was one of those intros I wrote that gave me plunnies for the entire story but was more than just the chapter (in terms of what it's hinting at). I think you're right on about adding something in the transition paragraph about some encounters they had over the interceeding weeks. I'll add that in soon. 

I always like to ask about characterization because sometimes I feel like I really have people down when I write them and other times (like in chapter 2 of this story) I feel all bleh about it. 

Okay, so, thank you very much for the loely review! I can't beleive how wonderfully nice and detailed you are. 

-Rose