Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 27 Jan 2018 08:09 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hey Olivia! Congrats on your FROGS nomination!

You did an amazing job with this fic. I really like the way you paralleled her childhood fear of the dark as an idea with her later discomfort with the real world things she faces. It's especially a neat comparison when you consider that the darkness she fears as a kid is literally the physical absense of light - real darkness - and then the actual, real issues she faces  later are more of a metaphorical darkness - psychological pain, and fear of what the Carrows will do. I thought it was a very clever way to set things up.

 

Poor Astoria. Her backstory really is so sad in this fic, and all she suffers both at home with her parents, and then back at Hogwarts. It must have been so awful for her to think she was about to be free of everything she was dealing with at home only to find Hogwarts taken over by Death Eaters. But I love that she has Daphne on her side to help her through.  I like that you portrayed Daphne in a good light.

 

I think it is also very believable that Astoria had trouble celebrating after the war was over, because those scars couldn't be erased so easily - she was still dealing with years of trauma and it doesn't just go away like that. And that she had such pronounced trust issues - that's entirely to be expected with the background she has. Thank goodness Daphne got her to go to those meetings, even if Astoria could never bring herself to talk about her own experiences, at least she learned how much others were suffering and didn't feel so alone. Loneliness itself can be so painful, and so at least that burden was lifted from her shoulders.

 

I like the way you described her becoming closer with Draco as well, as he's also someone who I think would have difficulty moving on from the war. The start of their friendship feels so realistic, too, how it kind of just happened because they were in the same place at the same time, and not out of any particular attachment to each other at first, and they were each able to help the other cope.

 

What a nice ending too - it feels so fitting, how she overcomes her fear of darkness with Draco's help, and then she vows that her child will grow up with a better life than she did and won't have to suffer the darkness that she suffered. It really feels like a full circle and Astoria confronting her fears. It's a perfect end.

 

Well done on this fic and good luck in the FROGS!

Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 12 Dec 2017 03:49 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hello Olivia,

 

So this was super intense? I really liked how you gave Astoria a really strong backstory here so she makes sense as a character because we don't know much about her. I think you did a really amazing job at getting her emotions across. You've given her this really strong voice, I feel like I really understand her character after reading this. Her family life is so dark and sad, I just felt for her so much, I like how you use the darkness and night to highlight Astoria's issue and pain. 

 

I thought the bit about her running away was very much like Sirius when I read it but their motivations are a bit different really. I liked how you addressed when the war was over that people were happier and it was better but Astoria didn't feel like, it really highlights how isolated that she was. I like the role that you cast Daphne in here as the supportive sister which you don't often see when people portray Astoria. 

 

I really like the ending that Astoria does get a bit of closure, you didn't over do it with the 'happy ending' though. It fitted in really nicely with the general mood of angst within the piece. I'm glad that she found someone to share with and she wanted not to pass on her fears to her child. It was very moving and powerful. <3

 

- Abbi xo 

 

Name: abhorsen (Signed) · Date: 02 Dec 2017 12:13 AM · For: Chapter 1

You did such an amazing job with this. &hearts;

 

There are a lot of ways in which this is is similar to my headcanon of Astoria, and I absolutely adored it. You drew a lot of amazing parallels - the nondescript fear of the dark kids get versus the many reasons Astoria had to hate the dark that were based in very real threats was perfect, and my heart went out to her for walking straight into that awful year at Hogwarts after escaping her parents.

 

I also really like the way you portrayed her relationship with Draco. It's so, so hard to put everything back together when it falls apart, and Astoria's barricading herself alone even after the war had finished was heartbreaking. In light of that, the idea of them bonding over their shared trauma is really, really compelling to me, and the progression you describe is just absolutely believable.

 

I loved this so much. <3