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Hi Olivia, here for our review swap!
Back for this story about Antonin's origin story. I feel like you continue to do a great job of showing the complexities of his character and where he is at, at this stage in his life. We see he's at a crossroads with a lot of decisions. Should he openly be friends with Robert or with Rabastan? He's very aware of how associating with certain people looks to others. And how it looks and how he feels about it all feels very complex, which I think makes a lot of sense, given the direction you've taken this story so far.
Another pivotal moment of decision for him is in his DADA class. Should he use this dark magic he knows or just continue to muddle through with the standard spells that he's not entirely great at? And he ultimately chooses the former because he's pushed to that point.
I feel like he's someone who was born in less than desirable circumstances, but he's not comfortable enough to push past them or to defy what he's known his whole life. Which I think is totally normal and relatable. Especially since he's still so young. So I think your representation of this is done very well!
I also really liked how you captured Slughorn's voice in this during their discussion. Of course teachers only see a slice of what is going on, so the way he handles the situation felt believable.
I felt sorry for Antonin at the end with how things ended (maybe) with Robert. Robert was a bright spot for him in a dark place and to lose that definitely made me hurt for him.
Anyway, I'm so happy to have an excuse to return to this story! Thanks for the swap opportunity!
<3 Courtney
I'm so intrigued by this story! We always see Dolohov, as well as Voldemort's other older, most loyal death eaters, as just straightforwardly evil. But of course he had a childhood too, and there must be some backstory for how he got there and ended up the way he was in canon. What a good idea to show us some of that story!
This prologue sets up the story really well. It's interesting to think about how a whole sector of society really believed they were changing the world order, and were preparing themselves for a new world. The idea of the Dolohovs indoctrinating their child like this is horrible, but unfortunately very believeable.
'Anthonin had never seen one of these things his father called 'mudbloods', so, he decided, he couldn't judge them until he had. It didn't seem fair' - what a great insight into who he is, even as a child. He's got real strength of character to reason like this in the face of what his parents are saying, and this shows some purity at his heart that I guess will leave him at some point as he grows up.
That final line is excellent as well! Can't wait to see who the girl is and how she changes him!
Such a good first chapter! Looking forward to coming back for more soon! Jem xx
p.s. Tag! x
i find it so interesting that antonin is so so reluctant to be in slytherin and befriend death eater's children - don't get me wrong, it makes a lot of sense considering the previous chapter, but i keep trying to connect this dolohov with the image i had already formed in my head from book canon, though i'm excited to see how he goes from this antonin, someone who thinks muggles are normal people like him, to the antonin who is a death eater, one of the closest to voldemort. i liked how he tried to get himself sorted into hufflepuff, probably the least likely future-death-eater-house but the hat failed him eh. and lol rabastan lestrange is already totally brainwashed at age eleven, i kinda both feel sorry for him and hate him.
(for foxy glory!)
Olivia, I love how we see the shift Antonin begin here! This sentiment I feel like is so applicable to what's happening to a lot of people in our world today and it REALLY struck me as poignant. "It was easy, Antonin thought upon reflection, to agree with a set of beliefs that said that you were superior in every way to another person, simply because of who your parents were. It was easy to like hearing that people doing better than you in school were doing so only because they had stolen their wand as well as their magic from someone who was more deserving." I just...I have nothing more to say about this section because it speaks volumes.
I also think Antonin's justifcations for believing in the Pureblood ideologies is very fitting for a young boy. Of course, he would primarily go along with his parents and classmates beliefs, but I like how he sees himself set apart from them in certain ways as well. This shows that the world isn't comprised up of black and white issues, but everything comes in shades of grey.
I particularly enjoyed your depictions of the Ravenclaw Common Room. The artsy feel of it was lovely and not something I often see in fanfiction, so I thought that was pretty unique.
Thanks again for writing, I've enjoyed seeing Antonin grow so far!
<3 Courtney
* left for the winter fairyland event, team ice otter *
so for some reason i'm being totally ridiculous and imagining humorous and increasingly ridiculous scenarios where antonin's parents are trying really really hard to get him to believe in the cause, like getting him a muggle doll and trying to make him destroy it or something and he's all like.... nah but it's a pretty doll let me have it go away. i'm sorry for starting this review being ridiculous :P
i really loved the set up of this prologue and how we're introduced into the pureblood world but what really struck me were antonin's feelings about his father. how he's really loving except when he talks about the dark lord and the cause and the revolution and then it's like he goes through this scary transformation, almost becoming someone else. i can imagine that for a kid it was really difficult to reconcile those two sides to his parents (because i assume similar of his mother), and he'd much rather not really face the scary aspects of his parents and decide he'd have nothing to do with the cause that makes them like that and that he'd grown up scared of the dark lord. which...i think all the death eaters were scared of him, except maybe bellatrix.
i also liked the way you showed us that his parents love him, even if it's just uhhh refraining from disowning him just yet, because i feel like even that is huge for them in that society. yeah they're probably terrible people but apparently even terrible people can love their children and idk, i always enjoy seeing writers take those types of characters, black or morally gray and show us what makes them tick so that's why i'm also hella excited to read more about antonin himself.
because let's be real, his descent into darkness being caused by a girllll????? that sounds like peak drama and i'm always here for drama *grabby hands*
Hey, Olivia! Hope you're well!
Oooh what an interesting start to this chapter! Antonin had placed Muggles on a bit of a pedastal but now he knows how nasty human can be. It definitely makes me keen to see what happens next with this revelation, especially since it seems to be the beginning of a change for the worse. I really like this line -
A small seed of doubt had been planted in his brain - only a small one, true, but it was a seed that in time would bear bitter fruit.
Aw, has Antonin made a friend in Robert? My heart grew a size reading that! Also, I got weirdly excited when I saw Fabian and Gideon's names. I rarely read stories with them in it even though I like them as characters, so I enjoyed their appearance here!
Even though I want Antonin to have friends, I found I didn't want him sitting with the other Slytherins and actually enjoying it! I have deep feelings about this story haha, because I know how it's going to end and I know it's going to be an emotional rollercoaster to see it happen but ahh I love it so much!
Hi Olivia, it's me again! Ok, so first of all, I love the growth we are starting to see within Antonin. I also think it's curious that he had pro-Muggle leanings. I kind of assumed he was just mostly indifferent to the politics from the previous two chapters, but now I am curious how he arrived at feeling that way.
But anyway, you really capture school politics so well! The sense of wanting to belong, but to what group is such a crucial adolescent feeling. And I imagine the stakes are even higher at a place like Hogwarts where you can't escape to the comfort of home if you are an outside and if you don't belong. So Antonin strategically getting up at certain times and knowing what places to be to avoid certain people and situations, it feels like something an anxious preteen would do. It's something I sometimes still do as an adult LOL. ;)
As soon as you depicted a kind of assholish Gryffindor with red hair I immediately got excited and thought "could it be one of my Prewett boys?" And yes, it was! I love how you are depicting them as the antagonists. It shows the idea that there's more than side or point of view to any story. And while in canon we might consider the Prewett twins "heroes," here they are anything but heroic. I also love how you subscribe to the idea of Fabian being hotheated and Gideon being the voice of reason. I characterize them that way too :)
And I loved Robert! I love how he stuck by Antonin when he had to tell on himself to Slughorn. And I could totally see the concept of students having to tell on themselves being totally taken advantage of by some students. But Antonin is so pure and tells the truth, and you are really making me love this kid.
And that ending! You are starting to show him grow a bit here. Even if he's still of the mindset of "I'm not going to be a Death Eater," he's learning that the world doesn't operate in black and white, but there are grey areas. I think this is a telling trait that shows someone starting to mature. And even though only a couple of months have passed here, his willingness to change is evident and even could arguably be some type of foreshadowing (like that fight with Fabian ;)).
Another great chapter Olivia! I love your writing style and the thought you've put into Dolohov's character. Also, thanks for the Prewett cameo. :)
<3 Courtney
Hi Olivia! I am here with some reviews that I promised AGES ago! :)
First off, I think you capture the voice of Antonin as a curious eleven year old quite well. His fascination with Muggle cars and things, I think just shows a general childlike curiosity. As you mentioned in your previous chapter, he doesn't feel his parents prejudices yet because well, he's a kid and why would he think too deeply or feel too strongly about it this early on? Also, him thinking that Muggles aren't that remarkable is also telling. Sometimes kids build things up in their minds that are larger than life, especially when it's their parents telling them about things, and then they're kind of slightly disappointed by the reality of the thing. And I kind of felt that there with Antonin's internal thought there.
I also think his desire to NOT become a Death Eater works as well because of how hard his parents are pushing him in that direction. I think kids definitely have moments where they think they know better than their parents and they are resistent to their parents trying to self-impose their own beliefs on them. Because they are humans and have free will. So again, the way you highlight this through his thoughts all feels very believable to me. It is interesting though that we don't see this in Rabastan. But. Every family unit is different, so I imagine some are more forceful than others with indoctrinating their kids than Anontin's parents seem to be. I actually kind of liked that because I love junxtaposition, so seeing that scene unfold like it did and then thinking about the Harry/Ron first time on the train meeting and how its totally different, just really excited the inner nerd in me lol.
Lol I loved your description of Hagrid as "a beard having a face." Very humorous! I also liked how you set him up to meet Rabastan to serve as a point of contention. I did feel it was a little odd that Rabastan would automatically be like "so you're the boy who doesn't want to be a Death Eater," since they likely wouldn't be expected to pledge their loyalty until they were older. That and, while you depicted Antonin's interest in Muggles in the prologue and his lack of interest in hearing his father go on about the struggle between the two worlds, it seemed like it was kind of set up like a "dirty family secret." It felt like his parents would try to keep their sons oddities secret as opposed to making it known among their friends and other members of society. It's a totally minor thing and I know you started writing this a long time ago, so I am sure your writing has changed and maybe some things within the story have as well. It just felt like maybe I missed something (and I totally could have!).
But that minor thing aside, I really love how you capture Antonin's desire to be in Hufflepuff (I'm not biased lol). Like he really feels like he doesn't belong in his family or within this part of society, and being in Hufflepuff would be like a spot of hope for the poor kid because everyone belongs in Hufflepuff House. But alas, he is destined for Slytherin. I really thought it was clever how you set that up with the hat.
Throughout this you really make Antonin's emotions palpable and as a reader, I really felt sorry for him. Another great thing about your writing is how you depict scenes so that we feel the mood and what the characters reaction to it is. An example of this would be how you show us the Slytherin Common Room. The mood of it also impacts Antonin's mood. But also the detail about them being able to see into the lake from their domitory was super cool! Another detail I loved was the part where Antonin's Mum strokes her arm where the Dark Mark is. The way you wrote that was so vivid and subtle and I loved it!
Anyway, I cannot wait to read more of this. Thank you for writing this!
<3 Courtney
Right, so I asked some questions in your NaNo Nest about this, but I wanted to check out the first chapter of this! ;)
This is a great introductionary chapter that sets up what is happening politically in the Wizarding World. I think the mindset of Dolohov's parents is particularly clever and makes total sense. Also, I think it's realistic for Dolohov as a little boy to really not care about the political doctrine that his parents wish to impart on him. And of course, as he develops and becomes more conscious of the ideologies his father is trying to impart on him there would be some fear as well. I think anything that turns your parents kind of manic would begin to sort of terrify you.
I also think it's interesting you mention that Antonin's parents love him deeply. This is something we don't often see portrayed in canon and I think it gives these characters an added depth. It also shows that they might have some questionable political ideologies, but they're not all sociopaths...a vibe we definitely get in canon. So I like that you've decided to show love as a theme in this and I like that Antonin meeting a girl is going to change him in some way.
This was very diferent than what I expected (in a very good way)! And I definitely want to keep going. Thanks for writing!
<3 Courtney
Gifted for the fangtasic grimtown carnevil
Okay, Antonin is absolutely adorable. So pure. I really love his gentleness and fairness (I was actually holding my breath for him to be put in Hufflepuff) so I'm not looking forward to watching this inevitable descent into darkness (but of course I'm looking forward to it).
I love that you kept that omniscient style of writing in this chapter, and that you can jump around into characters' heads. I really enjoy it! It was great to get to know Rabastan a bit more, and see his impression of Antonin.
Oooh he's met Bellatrix? Is this the girl that changes everything? You've got a great cast of characters lined up and I can't wait to get to know them more and see their dynamic. Really loving this!
I've been wanting to check out this story for ages and I'm finally here, and I don't know why it took me so long, because I think this is a story I'm really going to love.
This was such a great opening. I loved the distant-narrator feel, telling us all we need to know before the story really begins. It was a great way to set the times, the mood, and what we can expect from Antonin. You never really see Dolohov represented in fics, so I'm excited to see what you do with him!
What's most interesting of course is that despite aaaaaall this set up about the next generation of followers, Antonin is just like, 'Nah, not doing it, sorry'. But the fact that a girl might be the one to change him? Oh my goodness I've never been more excited to read on. This was an amazing beginning!
Hey! I'm here for BvB!
I'm happy to get in right after you, because I've been wanting to get back to this story - I really enjoyed the first two chapters, and I liked this one, too!
One of the things that's really wonderful about this story is how much you muddy the waters. There's nothing clear cut here - yes, the Death Eaters are awful, but that doesn't mean that people on the right side conduct themselves well all the time. And, in fact, Fabian conducted himself very, very poorly here.
I actually liked that a lot, because I think it gets at the darker side of Gryffindor. We see the best of them (overall, anyway) in the series, but the same qualities that make them brave and inspiring can also make them bullies, and Fabian is without a doubt acting like a bully here. There's nothing noble about baiting a kid you don't know, but it is rash and impulsive. Those are two very Gryffindor traits, and Antonin clearly reacts to them - and from the end of the chapter, it's pretty clear that he identifies them as such.
But, even though this is from Antonin's point of view and I really sympathize with him here, I can kind of see this from Fabian's side of it, too. On one hand, it's a nasty thing to do to go after a kid you don't know - but on the other, as I think about it, there's also only so much "benefit of the doubt" to go around before you get tired of it. And, from what we see of Antonin's encounters (or lack thereof) with his housemates, the vast majority of Slytherins really do buy into the blood purity thing.
It's really fascinating, and there aren't any easy answers - and I can totally see how, after a tough day where his beliefs are shaken, Antonin would fall in with the first people to show him kindness, even if they are future Death Eaters. And, I think that you've really showed the dangers in placing people on pedestals rather than just seeing them as people - Antonin was idealizing Muggles and Gryffindors, when what he really needed to do was just see them as equally deserving of respect.
This is so intriguing. I can't wait for the next update!
[transferred from HPFF]
Hello, the winter wonderland brought me here.
I've never read a story about Antonin Dolohov before, I found the prospect intriguing. Coupled with your writing style and how you introduced us to the setting of that household and that family, I very much enjoyed this read. What I admire in particular is that you focused so much on how much influence family and upbringing influences a child's personality and beliefs. To have children dreaming about fighting in a war and being part of cause is an absolutely ludicrous thought but not necessarily uncommon (even in real life). But more importantly, I liked that you also focused on Antonin's indifference. While some children might be hot-headed and malleable enough to be indoctrinated by their parents views and corrupted by their influence, some really just can't care any less. Which is understandable and logical even.
I wonder who the girl is and why does she change everything. Who is it who had so much influence that it succeeded to do that his parents couldn't do in a lifetime?
Hello!
I don't think I've had the pleasure of reading many stories that are Dolohov-centered so I'm really looking forward to it. I love that I immediately have some sort of sympathetic reaction for Antonin given his backstory. I mean, he never really did have a chance with his parents being so overly supportive of Voldemort, raising him to become a follower and a pure-blood supremacist. Of course, that doesn't excuse his actions, but I still feel a bit bad (as is the case with probably many of the pure-blooded families who grew to support Voldemort.
I also love that his birth coincided with the biggest storm of the year. There's something symbolically brilliant about that that I absolutely adore. Dolohov would be a storm. It's perfect, really. And I positively love the small twist you threw in here, where, to his parent's dismay, he showed absolutely no interest in their societal ideals or in the following/support of Voldemort. It's the childhood innocence of not seeing "those things his father called Mudblooods, so he couldn't judge" and the interest in playing over politics that's absolutely lovely.
Yeah, as a child, the idea of the Dark Lord must have been a little frightening (something that wasn't ever physically around but was somehow always there) and, moreover, the thing that made his father something other than what his father normally is to him.
And then he Antonin met a girl :). That's a great place to end a chapter. I definitely want to see how Antonin is going to cope with his parents and the society he was born in, and more about this girl!
-Rumpel
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