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Hi there! I'm stopping by for the Magical Menagerie!
This was exquisetly written. Right from the start, I was creeped out and uncomfortable, but I couldn't tear my eyes from the screen. I found myself needing to know why this person kept watching her, even though I somehow knew the reason would creep me out even more. (It did, lol.) And even more so, I wanted to know who it was! I tend to skim quickly over story shells, as most advisories don't bother me and I prefer to be surprised, and boy, did this story deliver! I had to go back to the shell and look in the end, and I definitely did not see that one coming. But now that I think back on the story, there were quite a few hints that I missed. You, my dear, are very, very clever.
As much as I love the Hollywood-esque idea of Harry, Ron, and Hermione being best friends forever after the war, I liked this alternative look of their friendship having ome turbulence. War changes people, especially when you're at the center of it like those three were, and I think realistically, they likely had some falling-outs over the years. I also like the idea of not only Draco turning light, but Blaise as well. We know from canon that Draco's heart wasn't completely invested in the dark side, and I imagine he wasn't the only child of Death Eaters who felt that way and eventually turned.
There was a haunting intensity to your writing throughout this piece. I think it's technique of very short paragraphs, only a sentence or two each. It almost felt like a heartbeat, which only added to the suspense.
I wasn't expecting to like this as much as I did, but wow... well done! Soglad I stopped by!
Cheers,
Reilly
Oh dear. I've found another story of yours that I want to read and review. xD
And this one was very different from your other stories that I've read. I've never read anything quite like it. I'm not quite sure what I was expecting from the story shell, but you delivered something that I couldn't have thought up! Which, I think, is a good thing? xD I think so, yeah.
So, starting with the plot, I find it very interesting how you wrote this story. I've read some really good stories with polyamorous relationships, so I was happy to see another one here, even though we don't quite get insider information about how Draco, Blaise, and Hermione's relationship together functions. Hopefully it's healthy and positive for all of them.
But we see all the action throughout this story from the outside, which is so interesting. It's such a voyeristic point of view, but you write it very well. There's that slightly creepy tone to the narrator's observations. I was surprised to go back to the story shell and realize that the narrator was Sirius! I had to reread it to understand just how AU this was, but I think you did achieve that level of strangeness that helps a lot of AUs succeed.
Overall, this was really unique, which I think is good for this type of story. And, as always, it was very well-written!
Great job!
—Emily
Hey there, Hayden! :)
I'd like to start off by saying this is definitely the first fic I've read that deals with this kind of pairing, so S/O you for writing it! Secondly, I think you've done a great job with the perspective you've written from here also. It's kind of a first person, third person-esque feeling, which is very hard to do! It's definitely a different take on post-war life for Hermione, and I'm honestly quite curious as to the way you've pictured this universe in such that Draco and Blaise ~actually~ changed sides. I personally like to think Draco should have had a redemption arc, but no matter -- clearly he's done enough for Hermione to enjoy his presence. Writing from the perspective of Sirius is definitely an interesting format considering the main pairing/throuple in the story shell. The pub setting is also interesting -- in canon, it takes like one butterbeer to get Hermione very touchy-feely with Harry and Ron when they're sixteen, so I wonder what it takes now that she's older and likely more accustomed to alcohol. Also, I'm curious as to why you chose the Leaky Cauldron for the setting -- surely a private woman such as Hermione wouldn't want to be somewhere so public? But I do guess that Sirius is also alive, so what does it really matter? :P Anyway, great job with this -- the perspective was done fantastically and there was good detail and description throughout! <3
~MadiMalfoy x
(Magical Menagerie 3: Team Wolpertinger)
Hello! Nix here for Team Silver!
This was definitely a story I did not see coming. The AU caught me off guard. Certainly was not expecting a story where Sirius was still alive after the war and Blaise and Draco are war heros. And their interested in Hermione? Wish I knew more of the backstory here. I'm a little confused as to the narrator's relationship with Hermione. I understand that it's Sirius but at some point he kind of makes it seem like he had a chance to be with her, and didn't take it. But he clearly wishes he was with her. And why isn't she friends with Ron and Harry anymore? What happened there? is that why she was drinking alone in the first scene? I really did like the bit where he says Remus smacked him upside the head for having feelings for Hermione, clearly he was too old for her at the time.
But yeah, this was a little confusing but all in all a good read. Great job!
xxNix
Hi Hayden!
I saw this story of yours was nominated for a MFWHAT in the Plot Twist section and I knew I had to check it out. I was quite intrigued by the plot twist part and wanted to see it for myself, but man... it went over my head. I have no idea who the narrator is! I need to think this through for a couple of days. Or search the lists of Slytherins! Haha.
Other than that, I loved the story and you made it extremely simple and intriguing at the same time.
- Avi
Author's Response:Aww thanks Avi!, If you'd like a hint, I'd suggest looking at the characters I've listed in the story list-y thing. <3 But if you're looking at characters by house, it's not a direct Slytherin you're looking for *winks and giggles madly*
Thanks for stopping by!
Hayden
xx
Hayden, my word, this is incredible!! Oh, hi. I’m here (late) for your Hot Seat, by the way. :)
I have so many questions! Like, what happened between Hermione, Ron and Harry? How did she get mixed up with Blaise and Draco? How did she get into a realationship with both of them? And why won’t Sirius just speak to her? This can’t be it! I need more!
I really love this dark vibe of the piece. It’s almost like I can see the low lit, smokey atmosphere of the pub, with people watching people and clinging to their drinks. And the fact that you can nail that vibe is astounding, considering you have yet to expirence it! Your writing is always such a treat!
I really love the way that this is split up. You really don’t know how much time has passed between sections, but you can tell it’s been a bit of time between each section, if that makes sense.
Without even hearing Hermione speak, you can tell how much she’s changed. She’s become harder it seems, since the war ended. Just by reading Sirius’ observations of her, you can tell she’s not the same girl as before. A bit darker. And it makes me so want to know exactly what happened to her.
It was so great that it just started out like a random observer. But as it went on and on, it wasn’t so random at all. It was almost like he was kind of stalking her. Which was a little creepy, but that added to the tense atmosphere of the story. I just loved it!
Every time I stop by your page, it reminds me that I need to stop by your page more often. I always truly enjoy your work. It’s so vivid and packed with emotion, no matter what the word count is. You’re a really great author, love!
I’m so sorry I was so late! But I really loved this! Thanks for sharing!!
Love and hugs,
The “cool” Aunt XD
Hearing only snatches of this during fic night due to a glitching feed on my end I knew I wanted to come back and actually read this story. It is as intriguing now as it was then. The prose is absolutely lovely and the descriptions are powerful. There were some very clear images in my head as I read this.
I love how you told this tale from an invested outside observer. It was such a unique pov to tell your tale. After reading I had to go back and see who your POV character was and had a George Takai "oh my" moment with it being Sirius Black. It was shocking and yet so interesting.
I would love to see you explore more of this story but if you don't this stands well also. It is a mark of a good writer in my opinion if you get the reader invested enough to want more from you - so wonderful job and keep putting out lovely work dearest!
Hey Hayden,
I haven't really read too much of your work before but I thought I would take the opportunity of winter wonderland to explore new writing.
I think it's a interesting piece, I was really expecting it to focus more of the relationship between Hermione and the two boys but you really put a twist on it with adding is other person into the mix. It was really intense as he describes watching her and I thought the story telling was something really unique as you don't see too many stories from this focus point. I can't help thinking how creepy it is that he is watching her like he thinks of himself as a weird guardian angel of hers.
So I am right in thinking that the watcher is Sirius? I'm not sure that it directly says that in the piece but maybe hints towards it a bit. I mainly got his inclusion the 'character list'. It's a brave decision to do something like this with his character as it's such a popular character but that's the wonderful thing about fan fic, they can be whatever you want them to be. I thought you did a good job at psychologically showing his state of mind and you managed capture a lot of mixed emotions though it was quite a short piece so that's a credit to your writing abilities.
- Abbi xo
Howdy Hayden!
I decided after being a rather woeful NaNo buddy, the least I could do was to stop by the project you finished! It's an interesting story and take on these characters.
Unless I'm specifically searching for something, I usually don't read story shells so part of the intrigue for me in this story was figuring out exactly who the "people watcher" was. I realized fairly quickly that it was someone older than her, then MUCH older than her, but I was surprised when I looked back to see it was Sirius. Though there are many Hermione pairings, these are some I think I've rarely seen before. And certainly not as tastefully.
It's a difficult dynamic to write a people watcher I think - at least having never been much of one (1) myself - but I thought the presentation of it, especially as unknown, unrequited, and more in the context of her actual relationship with Blaise and Draco made sense for under the circumstances. The ending also explained the intensity of focus as well. Sirius as a removed, dimmed star is a solid choice for this portrayal.
It is always interesting to me the different ways polyamory is written in stories too. I think the struggle for me in that regard was that the same distance that worked so well for Sirius and the yearning Sirius/Hermione dynamic stripped away some of the opportunity for deeper understanding of the Blaise/Draco/Hermione dynamic. Still, I think it can work well within this structure if Sirius also manages to document its evolution. Even being focused on Hermione he notices other changes in her so I think he could detail how the interactions between them also developed nicely.
The descriptions of Hermione in particular though were well done. I think you certainly did a good job of showing through her demeanor, face, attire, etc. that the relationship was a very positive influence on her life. I also liked that you didn't go down the road that so many poly stories seem to where there's an emphasis on imbalanced love and affection and sadness/disappointment of the disaffected member.
Thanks for sharing this, Hayden! I hope you enjoyed NaNo-ing!
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