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Hi Quilly!
Okay, so you're gonna have to write more real soon because I've caught up <3 And things are just getting interesting between Xander and Lily, now that they've actually begun to talk to each other rather than play out some silly feud that neither of them remember the reason for!
It was som good to see Al in this chapter and his interaction with Xander. Was he wise to go against his father's wishes and tell Xander about Alec? What was his motivation for doing so - just that Xander had a right to know? I think Xander's right here; Harry's already got so much on his plate, what with Lily's poisoning, supporting Hermione during the elections, investigating the Vittamortis incidents. He doesn't need Xander's worry on top of that. Although it won't stop Harry worrying; he is a perpetual worrier after all.
I ALWAYS love a chapter with Hugo as an inclusion. Poor innocent Hugo who's got quite a thing for Hannah but is going about things rather bizarrely! Hannah must be wondering WTF, but hopefully if she has any sense she'll realise it's just awkward teenage boy-ness.
I like how we see Xander's softer side in this chapter. He does seem to genuinely care about both Caroline and Kat, just as friends, of course; there aren't many teenage boys who would be thoughtful enough to lend someone their bedroom and go stay with their sort-of-cousin instead. And Kat is growing on me; I think Hugo might be right, there's a dynamic between Kat and Xander. They just seem to bounce off each other well and I love their dialogue.
Edward...I'm not convinced he's a 'good' guy. There's definitely something you're not telling us about him LOL.
Another great chapter. I eagerly await the next one.
M <3
Hi Quilly!
I LOVE the visual start to this chapter - 'November had dipped the world in red' - it's so poetic and beautiful <3
Lily is like a magnet for trouble at the moment; it seems to be following her every move. First Vittamortis and now a lack of concentration on the Quidditch pitch and a Bludger to the face. I'm surprised Oscar allowed her to commence playing so soon after she'd been poisoned but I guess she's a key member of the team and he would have had beating Slytherin at the forefront of his mind. And Xander accompanying her to the hospital wing could have given these two idiots an opportunity to talk - and for Lily to respond to Xander's touch - but of course they are still sparring against each other. Gah!
The detail of the ghosts is brilliant. It had simply never occurred to me that some of the victims of the Battle of Hogwarts would have chosen to remain as ghosts but of course some might have. It's such a clever detail and I wonder who they were when they were alive...
Ohh...I have a bad feeling about Lily kissing Edward! The towel scene made me snort - 'what are you doing here?' 'Err, what are YOU doing here?' - and then Lily relenting to talk but demanding that Edward puts some clothes on...
M <3
Author's Response:Poor Lily. She's going through it right now, isn't she? And it would've been nice for Lily and Xander to kiss, but she wasn't in the mood for it, not when she's just gotten hit on the face with a bludger and seen him kissing another girl. I'm glad you liked the details of the ghosts. They've always sort of just existed in the back of mind and it felt the right time to present them. And Lily kissing Edward... *sigh* It was a in the moment reaction, between two people who were feeling lonely, and that would be fine if not for the fact that their feelings for each other aren't exactly matching at the moment. We'll see what domino effect that has for them. <3 Quilly
Hey Quilly,
If there's one thing worse than lukewarm milk on your cereal, it's seeing an unflattering photograph of yourself in the national newspaper, accompanied by a sensational headline. There should be laws against the magical media being able to publish photographs and stories centred around minors. But 'The Prophet exists to sell itself' and sadly, people like reading dreadful tripe about others, especially when the subjects are well-known, lapping up untruths about Harry's love of playing the hero and at the expense of his family. Harry never really gets a break from it all.
Xander's mess is expanding by the minute. First he's somehow found himself in the position of pretending to be Kat's boyfriend and now Caroline is obviously upset because all the things he said to her seem to just be complete lies...and now she wants to be tutored in Arithmancy too?? Perhaps Xander can tutor them at the same time ;) Now that would be fun, ha! (No, it really is a terrible idea, Xander).
This sentence is rather ominous:
“You will focus on your studies while I’m away, won’t you, Xander? It’s so important that you know all there is to know.”
It's almost as though Reagan is either encouraging Xander to learn something about all this to find a solution OR to protect himself. If the latter, is it just student-teacher concern, or does Reagan have a more invested interest in Xander than that? Also I'm curious as to HOW Reagan seems to have created an effective antidote - what does he know about Vittamortis that he's not letting on?
:eyes:
M <3
Author's Response:The Prophet right now is really on a mission to tamper with the Golden Trio's repuation, in order for Ballard to gain advantages in the election. Unfortunately, Lily gets pulled into the mess because she begins to be used as an example of Harry being a bad father. It's completely awful but not too far from reality unfortunately. And yeah, Xander's mess is getting too big for him to handle. Caroline feels like he's whole "I don't want a girifriend" thing was obviously a lie because he's now dating Kat. Funny enough, he agrees to tutor Caroline and not Kat because Kat's just this girl he has a deal with at the moment and Caroline is someone he actually cares about and is sorry he has hurt. And yeah, Reagan continues to be this mysterious figure, but I promise we're getting closer to finding out more about him.
Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews <3 It means so much that you've taken the time to read all these chapters (they're quite long too so I doubly appreciate the effort) and give me such wonderful observations and insights on them. <3 Quilly
Hi Quilly!
The storm at the beginning of this chapter really adds to the scene of mystery and drama surrounding Lily's poisoning. I wonder why. And if they used Vittamortis, it must have been to kill Lily ... does someone suspect her of knowing something she shouldn't? Overheard something by accident, maybe? It's always the WHY that intrigues me and I have no idea where to start guessing, haha!
Harry <3 The way he was exhausted, and worried about his daughter, but still stuck up for Hannah through Reagan's unpleasantness. It's understandable that if only one person could receive the antidote, it would be Lily, but that's going to battle with his conscience; Lily's life is no more or less precious than anyone else's. And even though his daughter was almost murdered, he retains his morals when he slams the use of Legilimency. Yes - absolutely everyone has something to hide, and the right to hide it (in the vast majority of cases).
Reagan - I want to know more about his past, what's he hiding? He's capable of brewing an antidote, shouldn't that take precedence? It must have been something terrible if Hermione would rather risk lives than give Reagan access to a fully-stocked laboratory...
I'm not sure it's sensible of Xander to strike arrangements with Kat - and neither does he - but I guess he feels he must keep these feelings for Lily Potter as hidden as possible.
Okay, so I gotta keep reading on now! This is tooooo compelling!
M <3
Author's Response:Ahhhh *why* was Lily targeted? It's such a good question and I want to say that there are a few small hidden hints throughout but they're very very minor so I don't blame you at all for feeling lost. Everything will come together and make sense once the culprit is revealed though hehe And yes, Harry's going to try to stick to his morals for as long as he can because that's just who he is, but he still couldn't help himself when it came to saving his daughter's life. He's had too many losses and he was always going to do whatever it took to protect his children. And Reagan... Harry obviously thinks him saving lives is more important than what's he does... But Hermione's a smart witch, and if she's doubting Reagan, it's probably for a reason. Only time will tell who of the two were right. <3 Quilly
Hey Quilly!!
Yikes - what a cliffhanger to end this chapter on. There was something in Lily's drink, I'm sure of it. Perhaps that house elf who Lily didn't recognise had something to do with it? Obviously acting as a go-between for whoever wanted to spike her drink. Edward Ballard, maybe? Although if it was him, it does beg the question of why he asked Lily if she was okay when she clearly wasn't? It's not like anyone else would be able to overhear him faking concern at a busy party...
HUGO. I just want to HUG him, honestly. He 'just froze' - that's just the cutest explanation. I can see how Hannah would be put out by it, though, haha!
I'm not sure what to make of Kat and Xander. Does she like him? I mean, he's obviously not into her when all he can think about is Lily in THAT dress - I love your description of how it fluttered against her and the fire metaphors - , but did Kat wear the tight sequinned dress and heels for him or is there someone else she has her eye on??
Intrigued by the goings-on in this chapter and I really want to know what's happened to Lily so I'm reading on...
M <3
Author's Response:You continue to ask all the right questions!!!
Kat and Xander dated the year prior, but I think it's safe to say that Kat wore that dress for herself and not for him. This is one of those cases were if I had written it from her perspesctive - or if Xander wasn't so absorbed with obsessing over Lily and his own things - we'd be able to get a much better grasp as to who that other character is feeling but we'll get to know Kat a bit better as the story goes on. For now, I'll say that she likes that Xander isn't like the rest of her Slytherin friends, that he's not making fun of the muggleborns being poisioned, and that though there was a genuine physcial attraction between the two, neither of them fell in love with the other. <3 Quilly
Hey there! Let’s swap some more!
So I noticed that your chapter 8 isn’t showing up in your story shell, which is weird, but the reviews are still there. It might be my screwy computer, but I thought I’d just mention it.
Back to the story!
Oh my gosh. Xander’s head is so mixed up right now that he can’t see anything but Lilly. If that isn’t a sign, I don’t know what is. I wasn’t too keen on Caroline anyway, but meh, she didn’t deserve to be used like that, even if she came across as a willing participant. Judging by the ages of these folks, it’s entirely possible that she would get (and is getting) her feelings trampled on along the way. I would like to tell her “I told you so” but she doesn’t seem to be the kind of girl who would listen to me. Shrug.
And Hugo drops the big C word… and I’m talking about Clarifiers. Now that I’m paying attention, it seems that other people are too. Curiouser and curiouser… and Hugo is TRYING to be a good friend. It’s hard when you’re friends with a… what kind of friend would Xander be, hmmm… a Bad Friend. I appreciate Hugo. I really do. I hope something wonderful happens to him someday.
But hey, he gets his Bad Friend to talk a little, and that’s a big something. Kudos to you, Hugo!
So I’m going to pause here for a second and gush a little about your outstandingly smooth prose, because I’m not sure I’ve commented on it yet, but it makes this story read like an absolute dream, and I thought I should say something about that.
Smooth. Like butter. God, I’ve listened to too much pop lately…
Maya Creevey. Maya… huh. Lily has been dragged into a rather unconventional detention here. Neville must need this very badly. And poor Dennis! And oh yes, let’s throw another girl at Xander while we’re at it. *shakes finger* This better not be a set up for what I think it is for, or you’re in trouble!
Okay, so you’re not in trouble. Yet. But Lily is. She just got a big realization, and now she gets to deal with the fallout.
Well, isn’t that going to be fun?
Pix
Author's Response:There was an edit to Chapter 8 that got it sent back to the queue but it's there now :) Thanks for pointing that out <3
And Caroline, I do feel for her too. She's young and has strong feelings for someone who doesn't feel the same. I'd give her the same advice you do, but you're right, it's unlikely she'd listen to either one of us. And at seventen, I think we all knew a girl like her - if we were lucky enough not to be that girl ourselves.
Ahhh your comment about my writing made my entire day! That was such a kind thing to say and I'm so incredibly flattered that you would think that. It's definitely hard not to question one's own writing ability and it's always so encouraging to get compliments on it, especially from such a profecient writer such as yourself. It really did mean a lot. <3 Quilly
Hi Quilly! Please forgive me for taking so long to return to ITD; I'm so excited to be back in this verse and sad I didn't pop back sooner.
I LOVE the details and creativity of the flowerstone, how they can blossom in the most unlikely of places - I feel there's a foretelling analogy of sorts in there - and how receptive they are to their external environment. Quietly, positively responsive to Lily's gentle coaxing, alarmingly dangerous when poked or exposed to whatever that Hufflepuff did to theirs.
Lily: 'I'm no small prey." SNORT. Absolutely not! I LOVE Lily's sass and sharp wit in this story, she's so badass and I adore her for it.
I'm not sure what to make of Edward, though; IDKW, but there's something about his behaviour that creeps me out. Lily is aware of how superficial he can be - 'parties, quidditch, girls' - even recognises some of what she'd perceive as her less desirable traits in Edward's personality, but I kinda feel there's something you're not telling us...although it's admirable that he's had a very adult chat to Mason and they've agreed not to let their respective fathers' politics come between them. I wonder whether they'll manage it?
Moving onto Xander...I love the way you connect scenes and move the story along seamlessly going from a conversation about politics at the dining table -which feels so very real, and the sort of thing I might have discussed at that age whilst having lunch with my mates - to Kat Bulstrode 'needing a word'. Xander's arrogance had me snorting, as did Kat's acerbic comment, and the banter over the cost of assignments, but it was the interjection of this:
“I’ve always wondered, how can two cold-blooded reptiles muster enough heat to properly mate?”
which almost caused a tea-keyboard interface. GENIUS line!
And the description of Lily, Nia and Syana styling their hair similarly or dressing in the same way, which again really brings back memories of my teenage years and the groups of people at my college who really did do things like that! Oof, some cutting remarks, and very red faces after that exchange. But some telling mentions: Xander's jealousy over Lily and Edward's interactions, Lily trying to call a halt to all this, Xander knowing he's gone too far with some of his comments...I am all :eyes: to see what happens when Lily meets Xander again.
Fabian Ballard seems to have latched onto Vittamortis as an excuse to exercise his prejudice against muggleborns. And I wonder what Ballards Inc would want with a Thestral?
Ah, I loved this chapter, and all the potential threads created from it. Lily going with Edward to the Halloween party. Hugo - lovely Hugo - who can see exactly what's going on here and the dynamics at play. How will the goings-on in the outside world affect the students of Hogwarts? What's happening with the Clarifiers?
SO MANY QUESTIONS!
M <3
Author's Response:Hiii M. Thank you so much for coming by and spoiling with me so many reviews on ITD.
The flowerstone was meant to be a sort of analogy, for more than one character really, and I'm glad that it had that feeling about it.
I think Lily recognizes the less desierable traits in Edward but doesn't hold them against him because she feels like she shares those traits. So, she's kind of like, not judging him for them, just having hard time understanding how he's such good friends with Mason. But yeah, there's more to Edward than meets the eye. He's a complicated character, and there's always parts of him that are not fully being show - both good and bad, I should think.
You have so many GOOD questions! Hehe and I am dying to reveal all the answers, but all in due time hehe <3 Quilly
Hi, Quilly. Thank you for offering this review swap. Here is a review for your latest chapter of In This Darkness.
So here's an intriguing development. Alec Brenes, head of Resistance to the Clarifiers in America, is looking for Xander. So much of Xander's personal history is such a mystery, and so far you haven't let much of it slip out, so i'm sure it will be a big surprise when it is all finally laid bare at the end.
That was an interesting conversation that Harry had with Alec Brenes. Those Clarifiers seem to be becoming more dangerous, and somehow Xander is a key in the effort to suppress them. But how? This conversation, stealthily overheard by Albus, fraught with tension, danger, and mystery, is such a contrast (and a welcome one) to the ongoing atmosphere in the Hogwarts castle, full of teenaged angst and the wide swing of emotions. It is as if each one of them, Xander and Lily, is plucking the petals off a daisy, saying "He/she loves me, he/she loves me not..." It leaves me wondering about Xander and why (the deep reason) he keeps getting entangled with multiple women. I hope he will find out more about his birth family soon. That must be where some of the answers are.
I had to smile when you remarked positively about the dialogue between Howard and his classmates in Chapter 20 of Crofter/Snake. I feel the same way about your dialogue in this chapter, allthough of course they're very different.
I like the little continuing thread about the carminas in Herbology. They're almost like pets in the way they respond to loving attention, and in the way that a pet can comfort us during trying times, I think that the carminas work that same way for Lily. A sweet note in a story full of complicated plot lines and troubled times. The plot lines are so serious that I doubt we are even to the halfway point yet in this story!
A pleasure to read. Keep up the good work!
Vicki
Hey!
Yeah yeah yeah, this whole chapter is sooo intense, and yet you find ways to lighten the mood for just long enough for me to *think* it’s going to turn around on a dime… and yet it just keeps getting more intense.
I’m here for this story line that has been teased at since the first chapter. I don’t know all the things… I’m not paying close enough attention to know what a Clarifier is or exactly why it’s not good for one of them to be in control of things, but it sounds bad, I know it’s Big and Dangerous, and Xander is involved somehow, which makes it intriguing and juicy as anything. Also, I agree that Harry knows a smart kid when he meets one, and that he’d assume Xander was listening in. I did wonder why Harry and Ron had Xander at the table at the cottage, discussing Big Things around him, because in that scene, Xander didn’t specifically add anything to the conversation, but I assume that he does from time to time. Reagan is one big question mark right now. How much influence does he have over political things, and what kinds of things was he up to, to not be cleared for certain things? He’s got to be powerful though, and that counts big for things to come. I’ll be paying much closer attention from here on out. And probably do some re-reading… because I need to review for the upcoming test when things start going sideways.
The whole sidebar of Hermione doing everything that Harry asks, as well as Ron… that has my wheels turning in a different direction. They are so loyal, and they trust Harry’s direction. And that trust and loyalty has probably weighed heavily on them all these years. I felt it in the narrative. I hope that Harry is doing the right thing by them. Anyone can make mistakes, though. Tension abounds!
Scorpius is so precious.
“Can’t you love her in an age-appropriate manner?”
Hahaha! If only. Does it every work out that way?
Okay, yes, I’m paying attention now. Clarifiers. Got it. Evil. And more tension between Lily and Xander, and then of course young people discussing things that their parents don’t want them to discuss. They are all up to their ears in trouble. Though, I do feel for Lily, having to go to such lengths to get her name disassociated with certain boys, only to have it glued to some other boy that she’s not exactly fond of. One day, she might take this too far, and it will hurt badly. Sigh. Xander is Right There.
The birthday gift was so touching, and I wish that Xander was brave enough to tell Lily how much it meant to him and what it symbolizes, but he’s still a big chicken about sharing himself with others, and that’s not going to go well, I suspect.
And there it goes. Xander is no longer Right There. I want to kill James, just a little bit, for being an enabler… and can one kill someone just a little bit? If it was James, I’d bet on it because he also seems like a very resourceful guy, and I KNOW he knows that Xander plays the same games he does, although I’m not sure James is all that attuned to Xander’s deep-yet-buried feelings at this moment. Unless he’s into sabotaging, and then that makes all of this much darker... And, well, THAT move is going to complicate things.
I mean, yes, Lily could have said stuff, and Xander could have said stuff, but at this point, they can’t even look each other in the eye for a while, and I’m going to throw out a guess that this storm might last longer than the others… tension abounds here as well. Excellent portrayal of stubbornness wreaking havoc in all the wrong/right ways.
Can the color red even be considered age-appropriate in this context? Hmm…
Great chapter!
Pix
Author's Response:Hehe yeah this chapter was a bit high drama, wasn't it?
So, at the cottage... that happened a a few years ago, and that was Harry and Ginny, and they *do* discuss some pretty big things with him because they're sort of forced into it. There will be a bit more explanation on that later on. In present time, Ron has no idea Xander is overhearing their conversation. Reagan... Yeah, at this point, he's a big question mark lol but I am excited to see that you're asking the right sort of questions about him.
Lily did go to really big lengths, didn't she? I'm glad you caught that. It's a small part of a chapter but I think it's a big part of her character and how she makes these sort of big decisions that may or may not be for the best.
As far as James goes... I think it's safe to say he's not purposefully trying to sabotage anyone. He just wants to have some fun - and he wants other people to have fun too, and so when Cecile points out that she thinks Xander's cute, he finds no harm in playing cupid. But he means it all in good fun (even though yeah, knowing what we know about Xander, it comes at a bad timing so I don't blame you at all for being angry with him lol)
I really appreciate the deep level of insight you've provided in this review. Thank you so much for taking the time to do so. It means a lot.
<3 Quilly
Hello, lovely! Here (very belatedly) for our swap :)
I'm going to admit, when I saw this chapter was nearly 4k words, I was a little intimiated but it absolutely flew by, I was dying for more by the end. You very quickly and easily set everything up for us and really set the tone that we'd be seeing for the rest of the story. I'm digging the darker tone its giving (obviously since it's a dark romance) but it doesn't feel over the top angsty. And I love me a good dark fic.
I am not usually a Harry fan but I gotta say, I do enjoy how you portray him in this. It feels realistic to what he went through in the original series and especially how he would view situations like this. Obviously he feels for Xander having been in an extremely similar situation but its so much more complicated than just that. I like how you show him struggling with what's best for his family in this situation and then ultimately taking the kid with him.
You set up a lot of interesting plot lines with this and I'm really intrigued with how everything is going to play out with them. I'm excited to read more!
Thanks again for the swap!
Ashley <3
Author's Response:Hi Ashley! I'm glad this chapter didn't feellike too much. I was a bit worried that it'd be too much backstory and hearing that it a good job setting the tone really means a lot. I'm also so happy to hear you found Harry realistic. Writing any canon character is always super daunting to me because they're hard to get just right. Thank you for all your kind words <3 Quilly
heyy quilly, i'm (finally!) here for our swap :D
and what a super intriguing chapter this was, with lily thinking about xander, and xander's body, and arms, and eyes *a lot* ahahahah and i love that after all that she's hanging out with him in the middle of the night in kinda tight quarters and she keeps getting dsitracted by him and those thought and meanwhile he's having trouble connecting wtf she's blurting out lololo -- it was just this lil fun chapter with plenty of xander and lily interaction that wasn't filled with arguing/bickering etc and it was all round just nice to read and see them in a way that we haven't really before...
i also can't believe lily is so oblivious that there's something about xander she obviously is very much into or something...why else would she go off at nia in that way or keep thinking about him -- i know she'll probably try to rationalise it and all but!!! it's there and i ~~~know it :D
the fact that xander tried to have words with andrew and was concerned about lily and ballard gave me lil googly eyes because ughhh how could it not?!
i can't help but wonder about all the ~~political bits and pieces we're getting here and there and i'm very much :EYES: at that part of this world/universe that you created, and obviously with xander being who he is i'm super curious to see how all that develops and how he'll evolve and what role he'll play in it :EYES:
i really loved this chapter, i shall be back for moar like the lil gremlin that i am :elmofire:
kris
Author's Response:Kris thank you so much for this review. You're right. Lily's looking at Xander a little too closely haha and it's making a mess of her. The political bits and pieces will keep coming and, hopefully, all tie up and make sense in the end. hehe. Again thank you so much for stopping by. I love reading your reactions <3 Quilly
Hello, Quilly! Here for our swap! :D <3
Aww, this was such a lovely chapter! So much emotional awareness... my poor children... <3 <3 <3
I love how you dig into Xander's psychology a bit more here. It must be so hard, growing up in a family like the Potters, loved and well cared for but still knowing that you're not truly part of the family, feeling like you don't belong, like you're a burden, even... forever in debt... and your past is this big black hole, and a bunch of scary nightmares that you can't give a meaning to... it's just a lot... :/
Does Brenes know who Xander truly is? He must have suspicions, at the very least... or if not, he must know that he's linked to the Clarifiers' movement somehow... and it sounds like things are getting worse and worse... I was very proud of Harry, though! "That's not how we do things here, Brenes," said Harry, firmly. "That will never be how I do things." I love that he will stand by his principles, that's why we all love Harry Potter, am I right?
(Side note: I really loved all your descriptions in the opening scene, I could get a very clear picture of the bar, and I loved this moment between Albus and Xander, too. Albus is such a great big brother! <3)
Oh, poor Caroline... :( Being worried about your parents' health, especially when you are rather young, is such a difficult thing to go through... I love (I mean, it's sad, but it gives them a lot of depth and I like that! <3) that it was this shared experience that brought Caroline and Xander close to each other! Did I already say my poor children? <3
Oh! Don't tell me! Are Xander and Lily talking honestly for once? :O That confession about his sorting was so sweet, and again I love everything that you're revealing about Xander (but also partly about Lily) in this chapter. The fact that he was just trying to find a place for himself, to prove himself worthy, to be somebody... I suppose that makes sense with his Slytherin sorting, too. And how sad that he drew away from Lily because he thought she didn't need him in her life the way he needed her, so it felt easier to just let go... ah, stupid kid! But at least now they've talked it out and maybe they can start to be proper friends again? <3
Hugo... ah, sweet Hugo... I feel you... believe me, I do... but Xander is right, the message you're giving away is that you aren't interested, and I understand that it's hard to explain that you are uncomfortable about certain aspects of a relationship, but the only way to make it work is being honest and talking about it... if Hannah is the right person for you, she will understand! <3 But also, wow, this line... "I wish I could... I don't know. Be normal, I guess. I never cared much before, you know. Never even really noticed that I was not. Then I got to know her. You don't know how many things you can't give a person until you find the person you'd want to give everything to." Ouch! That hurt!
Poor Edward, lol! :P Honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about Lily and Edward frequenting each other at all... not because I don't like Edward, but because I'm not sure if Lily is being completely sincere and I fear that they'll end up both being hurt in the end... but we'll see, I guess...
But that ending, with Lily planting a new carmina for Xander... that was such a sweet image! <3 I love the care she's showing for him with this little gesture, it's so soft and lovely! <3
You really hit me hard in the feels with this chapter! Brilliant work as always! <3
Thank you so much for the swap!
Snowball hug,
Chiara
Quilly, here for our review swap!
First of all, I love how you have been making the chapter openings so vivid as they relate to the setting/time of day. I think it's a really beautiful draw in for readers that also gives us a sense of what the mood of the chapter will entail.
“Pureblooded family trees must be axed from the root, otherwise they’ll cast a shade so large, you’ll never see the light of day again.”
^^ Ooh! We're taking previously ideology and totally flipping it on its head! I do think that extremist ideology in any form is dangerous and this definitely shows us another extremist view point we've not seen before.
I feel like we are on the verge of fully understanding the significance of Xander's character/his past and other things that you have alluded to up until this point. I'm super excited about all of that as you've handled this plot super well! :)
I also really liked how you broke up the scene of Al telling Xander the story about hearing his father talk with Brenes. And then again with The Sorting Hat. It was so well woven in. Most times flashbacks are just dropped in, in italics or something (*raises hand* guilty as charged, here) but this felt like it truly belonged in the story.
"She gave a shrug, as if to ask, ‘What else was I to do with a sobbing boy?’
It was inevitable, the way the corners of his mouth twisted upwards.
Lily eyed him from her peripheral, and when she realized he was smiling, she grinned too, the prettiest smile he’d ever seen."
^^.I really loved this! It pushes forward this slow burning romance even more!
Do I spy a demi-Hugo?! Ooh...well if that's the case, I am always pleased with more ace rep! :) If not, I'm sort of reading him as such from now on hah.
I really thought the ending with her planting the carminas for Xander was sweet. They both seem to have this tendency to do these little things for one another without the other noticing and it makes for a lot of "aww," moments for us as readers. I wonder what will happen when they realize all those little things the other has done for them.
Another really great chapter! The word count seems daunting, but really with how you break up the scenes and keep the pacing going, it doesn't feel like 6k+ words! I feel like that's not an easy thing to do and you make it seem so easy!
Well done and thank you for the swap opportunity!
<3 Courtney
In this Darkness, Chapter 7
Profesor Reagen sounds intimidating just by his description, and then when he starts talking, he is REALLY intimidating! I mean, I'm glad to see that there's someone at school who is pushing Xander to be his very best, but I am now not only intimidated by this man, but also questioning his motives.
The fitting was cool, because I got to see glimpses into the lives of the other characters and what they've been up to. Poor Lucy, though. LOL! She obviously hates the dress.
LOVE the sidebar about Hugo's sweater bringing authenticity to the bar scene! Yeah, club music is VERY distracting. I wonder if they do that on purpose, to keep people from thinking too hard while they're there. I also love that Hugo is immediately on to Xander for what he did to the music. It's like this wild magic that he's on the edge of controlling. And Hugo is on to him also about Lily. Interesting...
Q"The Weasleys traveled in packs, like wolves..."
I love this sentiment! Also, this snark:
"This might be above your level of comprehension, but a soda is a drink."
So obviously, Lily has a thing for Xander as well, and I wonder if she is also resisting because of his place in her family, or if it's because he gets so surly in his own resistance. Hmm... anyway, their conversation about love was interesting. It felt like Xander was constantly trying to reason himself out of those feelings for Lily, like they'd go away on their own one day. I mean, yeah, feelings can fade over time, if they're not the Real Thing. Good luck to you, Xander.
I felt like Lily's opinion on the subject was quite interesting. She's been with some not quite right partners, so I can see the cynicism, but I wasn't expecting her idea of a life partner to be so... dry? Like, she's tired of feeling all the things and it's too much trouble.
But also, the whole nightmare thing, and the way they trust each other at home is very telling to their real feelings. It's good of them to know that when it comes down to it, they would have each other's backs in a pinch.
I enjoyed this chapter!
Pix
Author's Response:Hi Pix!
I was so happy to hear your reactions to both Reagan and the fitting scene. It's hard to give importance to side characters when they're not the focus of the narrator but they're always fun to write. In Reagan's case, his motives are definitely meant to come off as questionable.
I think club music is probably loud with the purposes of letting people get lost in the music butttt Xander's not about that lol And yeah, Hugo is definitely on him. They don't talk about it much but they both know each other well enough to know these sort of things about each other. Besides, I suspect Xander is not as great at hiding it as he might thing. As far as what Lily's feelings for Xander are at this moment... She's always cared about him, and she's more hurt by the loss of his friendship than anything else. And Xander is to logic himself away from his own feelings. I don't know if Lily's cynical about love so much as she's weary about being vunerable with someone.
Anyways, thank you so much for this review. It definitely gave me a lot to reflect back on and that's always a good thing.
<3 Quilly
hi,
here for the murder mystery reviewing event :)
ahhh! this was such a well written chapter, i love how much atmosphere that you brought to this chapter in the beginning, the imagery was very powerful at setting scene and tone of the piece. all the details where very well written. I thought you brought such an interesting plotline into life here and more information/context into post war/next gen world.
Xander is such an interesting and unique character already, Harry obviously sees a lot of himself in Xander. It was so intense to see Xander using the curse as he's so young but it sets up how he is and issues that he'll face going forward. i don't think that type of trauma will go away if his memories are erased. I'm glad that Harry is giving Xander a chance at a difference life. I can't wait to see this underfold more!
Abbi xx
Hi Quilly! Back to this fascinating story!
Ok. I want to hex Andrew Rogers just as badly as Xander does right about now. The scandal is That Bad, and he’s doing his ESSAY??? And backup… he’s BLUBBERING!!! Lilly should have dumped the poor boy ages ago, tbh. Oh My God. Is THIS the behavior that kept her coming back for more??
Xander has some sage words, but I doubt that Rogers is listening. He’s talking from the heart, Xander is. I feel it. For Xander to even think about giving him that pep talk… I like him better and better, even with his standoffish ways.
Ah, it’s so cool to see how the old stories are handed down to the next generation and their thoughts on it all!
“... she was submerging herself in the idea that her own father had once been her own age and hidden himself under this same piece of fabric.”
Love that!
And that clothing description… I’m not sure I want to know what those girls have been up to. But I will not stand for trash-talking about Hugo. Good thing Lilly won’t either. Poor guy. Not everyone needs ot look like a poster child for Witch Weekly.
Uh oh. I think Lilly just showed her hand with Xander. That’s going to bite her later, I assume. And yeah, realizing that someone you’re close to is growing up, is also kind of a shocker.
“Are you smelling my jacket?”
LOL! The whole arms thing is cracking me up. Just admit to yourself what you’re not admitting to yourself, Lilly. That would save us all a lot of time.
But it wouldn’t be as entertaining.
And ack! Out of nowhere, a broom closet appears!! And footsteps.
…
…
…
… and I’m just now getting over the fact that Xander pulled that door open for his very first detention, and also for Lilly not to meet Ballard in the Astronomy tower.
Compromise, indeed, Xander.
Whew!
Pix
Hi, Quilly!
I'm here for our review swap. I'm glad that you have posted another chapter because this is just beautifully written. Despite the Bludger punch, it's got a calm feeling about it, as if the characters are understanding one another and supporting one another. Even in the milieu of the fatal poisonings and the tragedies for the victims' famiies, there is a feeling of hope that things will be figured out and, as both Xander and Lily say, "You're going to be okay."
It was good to see both Mason and Edward again, everyone, in their own way, trying to reach out towards healing and friendship. And if I were Lily I would not envy the Slytherin upperclassmen for their private rooms, if it means they have to walk up a spiral stone staircase just to reach the showers! I certainly hope that the loo is not equally far away from their bedrooms. :)
It was interesting to me when Lily asked Edward, "What are you hiding?' and he actually answered her truthfully, about the problems with his parents and what lengths his father would go to in order to win the election for Minister of Magic. That explains some of what has been happening. And even if you can't change the facts about what is happening, just knowing the truth helps you feel so much more grounded. When Mason asks Lily to tell Edward that she believes him, it's just a heartfelt suggestion on Mason's part, but in the end Lily does believe Edward because she can sense that he is telling the truth. You carried that off really well. Your characters are all flawed, imperfect human beings, but completely lovable anyway.
I liked the note about the boy and girl ghosts in the courtyard, and the folktale that they were the ghosts of two students who died during the Battle of Hogwarts. A nice touch. It makes one speculate about who those two ghosts were. Who died during the battle? Colin? The girl whom Ginny was comforting out on the lawn?
A very nice chapter. Thank you for writing!
Vicki
“September walked out the door before anyone had a proper glance at it and then October followed in with orange trees, damp earth, and piles of homeworks that never seemed to lower, but the only lesson that really stayed with Lily that week was that a relationship ending meant so much more than losing a hand to hold in yours.”
What a fantastic opening, to herald in not only the passing of time, but also what happens in that time and how someone feels about their situation. Awesome writing, right off the bat!
Oh my gawsh, “Witch and Famous”!!!
Okay, but I really like the Oscar guy. He seems like he’s a great captain, and he genuinely cares about his entire team. Good that he’s on Lily’s side. The team backs her well too. And lol to the twins, but I don’t want to see them getting into any serious trouble either. I bet they’re hell on wheels when they’re up to things.
Uh oh. I wondered what Lily made of Xander with Caroline, and now I know. It’s not pretty. She’s feeling bad already, which would make anyone snap, but Caroline was pushing it too. What is up with that? I think I know, but I will keep it to myself right now.
“Professor Longbottom was balding, rosy-cheeked, and round.”
Round. I will let that go.
Interesting how Lily and Caroline act during the middle of class, and how they keep it together around each other too. I’m glad of that. I’m also glad that Lily is realizing she might have taken things a bit too far, and that this may be some kind of apology.
Okay, the thing with the tree was super cool, and I held my breath a little when Xander said he was slipping, because I was sure that wasn’t a good thing, but I wasn’t sure how it was going to look.
And the thestral surprised me. Like, genuine ‘where did that come from?” surprise. I love being surprised when I’m reading! I also loved all the thoughts about thestrals that everyone had, and the weird circumstance under which wizards would be chasing thestrals… and I like where Xander is taking this. I’m also assuming he’s doing this for the thestral as much as he’s doing this for Lily.
So many things in this chapter! I enjoyed reading it!
Pix
Hi there! Let's swap words!
Ok so this opens with Xander clearly fuming over the inadequacies of his limitations, and of course he’s going to blame the people in charge. But McG has a point, Xander. She has a very good point, and you’re just too hot-headed to agree right now, if ever. Maybe in a decade or so, you might see her point of view. It’s interesting that she doesn’t tell him he’s NOT ready, but that this is an exercise in control and respect, both of which he has now illustrated that he indeed DOES need practice in. Poor guy is not going to take this lying down.
“From what Xander could see, there were only a little over a dozen students taking Herbology this period, most of them Ravenclaws, though none of them were Andrew Rogers, and he was immediately grateful for that.”
Yes, I could see that going very badly for both of them with Xander’s temper still in high gear. Goodness, let’s be thankful for small breaks.
“Besides, Edward liked quidditch and parties and purist politics…”
Wait. Hold up. Xander doesn’t like quidditch??
And what?? Convincing the twins to break into the Chamber of Secrets?? I did LOL, but man, that’s not funny.
“But she wasn’t his sister.”
Ok, I saw that coming a mile away. Xander’s got a heap load on his mind and he’s definitely asking for twelve kinds of trouble from all cardinal directions. The part with transfiguring planets and the jealousy over Edward… both awesome imagery and heightened tension colliding on the screen.
Hugo is making a good point. Xander’s definitely not hiding his attraction to Lily as well as he’d like, and Hugo Knows Things the way that Xander would prefer that he doesn’t. Either that, or he’s going to know. The whole conversation about who Xander would approve of with Lily was great, especially when he landed on the name of someone who would definitely NOT be with her. And Hugo. Which is funny. I love the humor that’s scattered throughout this story! Like this:
“He spelt it with a ‘k’ but dad said a ‘c’ wasn’t enough to erase the trauma.”
Poor Hugo is a mess, but at least he’s speaking. Maybe he’ll get lucky enough that Hannah will find that endearing. Oh wait. Is he getting lucky? That’s so sweet!
Another lovely read!
Pix
Hi Quilly! Sorry for the delay in our review swap!
Your opening line is beautiful! I like that red speaks to a certain quality of fall, but it also speaks to things like "blood," or "Lily's hair," or "danger," all of which are like occurring at this stage in the story. So very cool to see that!
Lily, like so many other teens just wants to belong. She has her core people, but for her, it's more than that. She wants more than that. She wants the vast majority of people to like her, which is such a great flaw you illuminate again and again. We get the sense that she tries to give off this air of not caring what other people think of her, but this chapter is just another indication that she does.
And then boom! For all of her observations and internal thought she gets hit in the face with a Bludger! Poor gal, as if she does not have enough to deal with already. :/ In any event, that chapter break with that moment is a great way to keep your readers attention and make them want to read onward.
I think your ability to bring humor in certain situations really lightens the emotional heaviness of this piece. There's always this ebb and flow with it, and I might have commented on it in a previous review, but it gives your writing this unique pace. It feels slow and then quick and then quick and slow. It's well done.
I thought the details of kid ghosts was a great reminder of the horrors of war. It feels like these characters are on the cusp of something similar, so I felt like the reminder of this was well placed at this point in time.
The moment with Edward definitely felt more like a comfort thing or an "I don't want to face my feelings with Xander," thing. I see Lily makes that something of a habit hah. I wonder when Xander and her will come to that moment of disclosing their feelings to one another. Seeing their emotions internally and separately has built up the anticipation and the tension between them quite well.
Another great chapter! I look forward to seeing where you take these kids next!
<3 Courtney
Quilly!!! :D :D :D
Hello, my dear! Here for our swap! Thank you so, so much for your wonderful review on Honeymoon, btw! <3
Oh! Okay, I loved this chapter! There's so much emotion packed into it! I wish all these children would be more honest about their feelings and dealt with them in a healthy way, but they are teenagers, so what should I expect? And I'm glad Edward and Lily did talk honestly, at least... even if I'm not sure that kiss is leading anywhere good... it's never good if two people stand in very different places in a relationship, but... I felt so much for poor Edward here... I might've misjudged him earlier and I'm sorry about that... hating his father more than ever, though... okay, I'll stop talking about this and go back to the beginning now, alright? :P
Urgh, survivor's guilt... just what Lily needed on top of everything else... I hate that she's having those thoughts like "that antidote should've saved someone more worthy than me"... no one should ever have to have those thoughts... :( And I can't blame her for reacting with anger, when she's really only angry at herself... bless Hugo for saving the situation and taking her away and distracting her! He's such a sweetheart!
Side note: you made me chuckle with that comment about how grumpy Xander was that Potions had been cancelled for the week, lol! I can totally imagine Xander being disappointed about that, even if it is for a good cause! :P (is it, though? I still don't completely trust Reagan... we'll see, I guess...)
Urgh! Those Slytherins! Leave Lily alone, okay??? And... what was that, Lily? Jealous, are we? :P A small voice in the back of her mind tried suggesting it might've had something to do with the fact that he'd been snogging Kat Buldstrode; that, however, she promptly convinced herself, was only the hit to the head speaking. Yeah, sure, you keep telling yourself that... :P But Xander was really sweet taking her to the Hospital Wing! I can imagine him being exasperated by her stubborness, lol! But it was so nice to see them laughing together, even if only for a small moment... <3
(Where did he have to be, though? What is he up to now?)
So Edward and Mason are actually friends? It was cute the way Mason told Lily that she should've talked to Edward, that he truly cared for her and her opinion of him... that's a good friend, right? <3 Ahahah! "I can't not tell Oscar. He can always tell when I'm lying - Potter!" Of course Oscar would immediately tell if Mason is lying... :P When are those two getting together? I need them together! I'm Sirius! :P
The whole interaction between Lily and Edward on the stairs was so amusing! So deliciously awkward! Lol! But wow, that was one pretty heavy conversation... I can't blame Edward for fleeing... I can understand that he would panic... and it is sad that he would expect Harry to use the excuse to extract some family scandal from him... but that's what happens when you grow up in an environment where that behaviour is the norm, right? At least we now know that he has a good heart... unless you've been tricking us badly here... (which is a possibility, but I'm choosing not to consider it... :P)
Such a wonderful chapter! So happy you updated! I'll now be eagerly waiting for more! :D
Big snowball hug! And thank you so much for the swap once again!
Chiara
Hi Quilly, here for our swap!
She wondered if he even realized how those five words represented a promise he didn’t intend to keep, and that while for him they were just a cordial way of saying ‘good-bye’, for her it was a window into an alternative timeline, one where he hadn’t altogether pushed her out of his life, and listening to her was actually something he could fit into the busyness of his day.
Oh man. I love this so much. It's this throwaway kind of sentiment that we all say when saying goodbye, the modern and casual 'au revoir,' and you say it even if you know you're not going to see or talk to the person for another half a year. It's noncommittal but positive, except it's not positive when it's being said by someone who seems so opposed to being around you -- it's just ironic at that point. So I like the way this really simple thing Xander says just highlights the divide between them.
Ok, the teenaged ghosts in the courtyard!?! Omg how sad. And like seriously the first time I've really stopped to think about how many and whose ghosts might have been left over after the battle. There certainly had to be at least a few. God that is heartbreaking. And chilling. A visible memory of the battle that will never leave. It makes me want to know more about them.
Yeah, so Ballard's dad is scum, ugh. And it's kind of funny and sad how Edward seems a little surprised or dubious when Lily says Harry would never have used Edward's family drama memories against him -- because based on what Edward's been brought up around, it seems he just expects anyone in a cutthroat world would do that.
I'm so looking forward to more. Every one of these Lily/Xander interactions hurts my heart.
<3 Melanie
Here from Review Tag!
Let's jump in with the setting. I've only been to Detroit once, but the description felt relatable. It's a very gritty place, and that wind coming off the water there, so cold.
And now to the story setup, the immediate aftermath of the book era is an interesting time to explore. Surelly the situation wouldn't have been as simple as "Voldemort was dead, so everybody chilled." There still would have been some mess to clean up, and it's interesting how you set that up here. Looks like the US is now the Argentina of escaped Death Eaters? Big country with plenty of room to hide. Plenty of opportuinites for mischief there.
So now we have Harry on a mission, discovering a mysterious yet powerful child. I'm sure there's a lot more to learn about the new characters, but I like how you started the story where you did rather than just an info dump of character backstories, much more of a hook for the reader that way.
And now Xander has made it back to England to be raised with the Potter kids? Very interesting start to the story.
Good read so far!
James
Milk carton Portkey! That’s awesome!
And boo to the reporters who invariably don’t leave these kids alone for a hot second!!! I often surmised that this was the case, but to see it happen to them is just another bad vibe. Poor kids!
“Don’t call Andrew that.”
“Wow, Lily, I wasn’t even thinking about him…”
Ah, haha! Good one, Xander.
And Lilly, putting it off for another few beats. This isn’t going to get easier, girl. It’s just not. I love the cousin interaction, already able to tell that they are fast and close. And that’s why Hugo doesn’t rat her out under the invisibility cloak, or rather… he can’t because its THE invisibility cloak. OMG Lilly, if you keep putting this off… oh, yeah, you will, won’t you. Such a mess! I’m glad Hugo has her back for a little while.
Okay, so we definitely have a good idea of where all these people stand with each other, and there’s obviously an underlying current running through it, which is very enticing!
Aaand Lilly can’t do it. There’s too much going on in her head. I am absolutely gutted about GInny!!! It seems more recent than it should seem… unless it IS recent… and then… I am so gutted.
Oh, but Lilly did go through with it, in all the messy upfront personal ways, and of course Roger wasn’t going to go down easy. I was a little confused because sometimes it’s “Roger”, and sometimes it’s “Rogers”, and maybe that’s a typo? But his name’s Andrew, but Xander never calls him that, so I’m not confused anymore. Xander’s a mess inside, even though he won’t… can’t show it. I sort of feel sorry for Caroline here.
Love the throwback to the Fall of ‘93, by the way! Great perspective, Lilly, even through the pain!
Great tension!
Pix
Hello! Leaving words for chapter 2, because it’s not fair that I don’t get to read on.
Awesome time-passing descriptions here! I’m in love with the way that people creatively make things happen without coming out and hitting things on the nose! Speaking of noses, this one is sunburnt. Ah, and it’s great that you show the hidden house (which seems like an oxymoron, but you know what I mean) and the way that they get rid of people who they don’t want to be there… and the description of magic from the pov of a Muggle is so good! It’s great that you tucked some of the early days of Xander’s time with the Potters into this scene, just enough for us to get a glimpse of what he’s been through, how he trusts them, and what he’s been learning. I’m glad he knows a little of his past, and I’m sure that he’s itching to know the rest of it, but I HOPE that he understands fully, given that Harry has a dangerous job, that the more he knows, the more danger he’s in… I hope…
Cool cool cool that they get to be in the old Potter Manor, and cool that Ginny convinced Harry to do it! I love reading about Xander being Interested in his roots, as well as the serious goings on in the world regarding the big names who are causing trouble in the wizarding community, being caught up on it, researching it, and probably trying to find his own place in it… as if he knows enough to realizes that his family is involved somehow, and he wants to be ready for the truth when Harry gives it to him. Smart guy. I respect that.
Also, his gut reaction to seeing Lilly has me thinking all kinds of things about how this is going to go. Obviously, Xander has developed something akin to feelings, and obviously, it has to be played down because of his living arrangements, and I didn’t quite catch the exact ages of when he joined the household, but there is a great sense of affection/irritation there, and it’s stirring in the background to be sure. And yes, there are the usual suspects of NextGen making their appearance, gotta love that!
Istanbul?? But of course. He’s got the magic. Unless he’s just showing off…
This is brilliant:
“I don’t see the fascination,” he snapped. “I see you doing magic without a brain every day, and yet you don’t see me going on about it, poking my nose into things that are none of my business.”
Snicker.
Oh Lilly, you are definitely doing the languishing in all the right ways. It’s hard to know, once you’ve made the decision, the right way to break off a distance relationship without making yourself feel bad about it. These are real concerns, and putting it off is unfortunately one way to make yourself feel better about not doing it the wrong way… but then… is it? Is it really the right thing to keep it going when it’s already gone? Is that fair?
Yeah. Tough times, Lilly.
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