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September walked out the door before anyone had a proper glance at it
What an excellent line!
I really enjoyed and highly relate to the way you captured the effect of the breakup on Lily. If everything were perfect, love would always be unselfish, but the truth is part of the reason we like being in relationships is because of how it makes us feel. And in immature love, like that you'd expect to see in teens still growing into themselves, sometimes you might be more into the feeling of being loved and admired than you are into the actual person. And then when that goes away it's quite a shock -- the person who used to fawn all over you now hates you. It's even worse if you're a person who cares in general what people think of you, and hates being disliked.
Lord, is Harry apoplectic over tabloids running trash about his kids? I can't imagine he'd deal with that very well considering how the papers did their best to try to destroy his reputation as a child.
Seeing the way the Gryffindors -- and in particular the Quidditch team -- have formed this protective bubble around Lily is really heartwarming. She's a wonderfully layered character and we've seen her not-so-great sides and her carefully curated image, but here we just see that she's genuinely loved. And then later of course we see this nurturing and empathetic side to her with both plants and creatures. (That herbology scene was fantastic, too!)
Also, I will never stop saying it: Hugo is a dude. Love him.
“Should I buy it flowers or is that kind of a ‘fuck you’ in the plantae world?”
LMAO, I absolutely lost it at this. I freaking love you.
Ooooh, a Xander/Lily rescue mission. I'm here for this. I am utterly obsessed with this story, it's so unique and engaging.
<3 Melanie
tag!
Author's Response:Teenage relationships are definitely tricky, and I definitely agree that Lily is having a harder time letting go of "being liked" by Andrew than Andrew himself.
Thank you so much for this review! I loved reading your thoughts about their relationships and the lines that stood out to you! It really does mean so much!
- Quilly
Tag :D
I really enjoyed your descriptions in this chapter, especially at the beginning with the Muggle getting lost. It was fun having that part of the chapter be a mystery at the start, from the Muggle’s point of view. I enjoyed how the magic worked to make him “remember” where he was trying to go and hurry to leave before he forgot again. I wonder if Xander was the one to do that, or if the magic protecting Potter Manner had kicked in. I’m sort of thinking it was Xander and that maybe he was fibbing to Harry?
So here we see Xander as a teenager, about to head back to Hogwarts. He’s still magically powerful, as is apparent by his Apparition exam, and the fact that he still performs a good amount of wandless magic. He appears to have romantic feelings for Lily Luna, though he has no problem sniping at her like a sibling would as well. I enjoyed his memory of their first meeting, how she’d asked where he’d come from, and he hadn’t been able to answer her.
I’m also interested as to why he was reading about Grindlewald. It makes sense that he’d be curious now, since he was finding out about why the town where the recent attack happened was important. But I wonder why he had started reading the book in the first place.
Lily Luna has spent the whole summer running from her problems. First she’s been disappointed, since Scorpius chose another girl to date. But Lily herself is having troubles since she has a boyfriend she doesn’t particularly want anymore, and she also doesn’t want to go through the uncomfortable conversation of ending their relationship.
You handled the time elapse pretty well, setting up what I expect will be the main time period for the story. I have lots of questions now about all the characters and where they are headed. Nice work!
Yours,
Noelle
Author's Response:Xander did use magic on him - but he didn't do anything to manipulate this thoughts, which is what Harry was worried about. He just allowed him to remember his way back home. He reads a lot - about everything - but there IS special interest about the attacks and there'll be more on that later ;) Thank you so much for all the kind words and this wonderful review!
- Quilly
Tag! :D
Oh, poor, poor Lily... :( As I was saying in my review for last chapter, I might not fully agree with some of her actions, but I do feel for her... so much grief and loneliness to deal with... Ginny's sudden death was obviously so hard (I think you wrote that in such a realistic and heartfelt way, btw) and the way Lily and Xander grew distant from each other, too... that's so sad as well... I mean, it happens with friendships, but it makes me wonder what exactly happened between them. Just a different sorting? How did they become almost enemies, after growing up as best friends as children? But yeah, sometimes life is like that... still sad, though... :(
Hugo seems a real sweetheart! <3 I love the way you introduce him, how he's sometimes too blunt, but he's the kind of person who always seeks harmony and is friendly with everyone at the same time! :) And I love the idea of him being the only one who can keep Xander in line, lol! :P I'm already loving the friends dynamic among all of them! :D (Side note: "We're a little too old to be pulling pigtails at the playground, don't you think?" Well, Lily, I think I know perfectly what Hugo was implying there... I'm surprised you don't... :P)
Oh, wait... what is it with Teddy and Ron? :O (And how does Xander always know these sort of things? I have a feeling that boy is too observant for his own good... :P)
Andrew... ah, Andrew... I'm not saying you don't have every reason to be upset... of course, you do, considering Lily did sort of use you for all this time, but... I don't know... I didn't like his reaction much? It felt kind of entitled and unnecessarily nasty? Uhm, I'm probably being biased because I'm seeing things through Lily's and Xander's eyes, and they are both quite biased, I'm sure... and again, it's absolutely legitimate for Andrew to be angry, but... I don't know... I just didn't like his reaction, and I have a feeling things might turn out bad on that front... but I guess I'll see... need to come back to read on soon! ;)
Another great chapter!
Snowball hug,
Chiara
Author's Response:Haha I agree that I disagree with Lily's actions (many of the times) lol but, yeah, she is going through a hard time and dealing with being a teeanger at the same time. There are a couple of different reasons Lily and Xander grew apart, and they get explained spardiocally throughout the chapters. I'll say that if you were to ask them, they'd both probably give different answers.
I absolutely love writing Hugo <3 Glad you enjoyed him! Xander's that kid always listening in to the adults talking haha and yeah, Andrew - there'll be more on him later... lol
thank you so much for your wonderful review, Chiara!
-Quilly
Hi, Quilly,
Here for the review tag.
My, you set the noir mood so skilfully in the first several paragraphs. It suggests what the tone of the entire story will be. Putting a multi-paragraph flashback close to the beginning of the story can be a risk, but your opening paragraphs are dense with substance, so not only do they provide a solid base for the flashback, they practically demand it. Good story construction.
As I read the rest of this chapter multiple times, I was struck by how history is repeating itself. First with Xander and Tom Riddle, both repudiated by their fathers (Xander's father's magic status unknown) and orphaned young by their mothers (presumably Anna was a witch). Harry, Tom, and Xander were all orphaned, deprived at a young age, and powerful. Tom (Lord Voldemort) wanted to kill Harry, and unnamed bad guys (Clarifiers?) want to kill Xander. Xander, as did Tom, has powerful magic that he learned to harness on his own.
Even Chapman's pleas to Harry -- You're the only one: that can help, that he feared, the only answer -- are voices from Harry's past. There is obviously a lot of backstory here that we don't know yet.
No wonder that Harry is confused by a swirl of memories and emotions. It's not completely clear to me why Mason Chapman wrote to Harry and asked for money. Was he essentially trying to sell Xander to Harry? Harry initially seems uninterested in taking the boy, and yet Harry has brought a sack of money with him, implying that he was unsure himself about what he was going to do. But obviously Harry cannot completely separate Xander's story from his own, so his decision-making is impaired. You do a marvelous job in showing Harry's confusion to us while not confusing us readers ourselves.
There is an interesting contrast between Harry's years-long reluctance to get involved in any way with the deteriorating moral condition of the American Ministry of Magic and its institutions and his present impulsive scarcely-thought-out decision to get involved with the fate of this one little boy. It is turning out to be more complicated than he at first realized. I like the contrast between his dilemma and Ginny's clear-headed practicality.
Nice job.
Vicki
Author's Response:Vicki! Hi ::waves:: it's so nice to meet you! I was definitely playing with the idea of history repeating/paralleing itself so I was so happy to hear you comment on that! You've asked so many good questions! And they DO have answers ;) haha
Thank you being so generous with this review <3
- Quilly
Hello again, here for the tag! Once again, I was completely sucked into the story. i find your writing very compelling and flowing, it reads easily and still is eloquent, you have a nice turn of phraseoften. I love the way the story starts, with tidbits of background information sprinkled in just right - through letters, and book excerpts, and bits of dialogue, it's all very well done, kudos!
Xander seems like a very cool kid, it seems that Harry and Ginny have done a good job raising him, he seems modest and calm but still deep and interesting, and also mysterious, which is great at adding that extra layer of intrigue. I am very excited for him to start discovering more about his origins and see how he takes it. I loved his conversation with Harry, the ease and closeness of their interaction.
The story went that Harry had found it to be unnecessarily ostentatious and large, but his wife, Ginny Potter, had insisted that they need something, anything, to bring him closer to his roots, to the grandparents he had never known, and so Harry, who had never been one to say no to his wife and who might have secretly agreed felt a pull to the home his father had grown up in, had agreed to pay all legal fees relating to the accepting of the inheritance and turned the old ruin into a home once again.
I just love the idea of this. <3
Xander's conversation with Lily was very amusing. Immediately we can see there is something there, definitely from his side I suppose, but the banter and teasing is of course mutual. Lily's witty quips back at him made me grin, his retort about her being able to do magic without a brain made me snort. I mean, sure, it was a bit mean, but kinda funny as well, in the way good friends sometimes tease each other, though Lily didn't take it well because I guess she's just irritated and anxious generally. Broken heart does that to you.
I loved how the chapter closed with her, and we saw a bit of her inner world, friends, relationships, and it was all done in a way that makes me also really interested in her as a character, to see where she goes from now, recovering from Scorpius and Rose, and with everything else.
This story is beautifully written so far and it's exciting, I'm really curious to find out more! :)
Eli
Author's Response:Awe thank you so much! I'm glad the background information wasn't too overwhelming - that's always a worry.
Xander's banter with Lily is always fun to write. He likes teasing her a little too much. lol. Lily has a hectic year in front of her - and I'm glad you were able to pick up on some of her inner world from the last scene. Thank you so much for the kind words, Eli <3
- Quilly
Another great chapter on character development! I really loved how in addition to this softening of Xander, we also see that he is largely sentimental when it comes to Lily. He's also had to bury a lot of his feelings for her because of being afraid of them not being reciprocated, and I think his tendency to lash out when things don't quite go to plan for him with them, makes a lot of sense. It also shows how his need to be in control bleeds into other areas of his life beyond his studies and his own ambitions, but in a relationship it's not exactly 100% healthy.
Still, the moment where he's watching her with James...I appreciated how you wrote that. It's totally a realistic thing whenever you have a fixation and are trying to redirect your focus, but you fail.
I absolutely felt the tension and closeness you brought with them dancing was well deployed. I felt a bit torn apart when it ended, but I think for these characters how everything else went down at the end of the chapter, totally makes sense.
Also, I adored the poltical landscape and issues you brought up at the start of this chapter. That operating in the background and paired with the Clarifiers plot...I'm really excited to see how it all comes together and affects all of these characters we have gotten to know really well these last several chapters.
Another excellent chapter!
<3 Courtney
PS TAG! :)
Author's Response:Xander really does have a soft spot for Lily - though he never lets her see it lol
Thank you so much for all your revies, Courtney. It really means the world to me that you've continued keeping up with this story and all your insightful comments. I love hearing your thoughts on all the scenes and characters. <3
-Quilly
Hey Quilly, here for review tag <3
Wow, the sexual tension has really ramped up between Xander and Lily, both of whom are clearly hot for each other, going by their reactions to the other's partners or potential partners. And the 'red' scene was such an effective piece of writing, really drumming home this desire in Xander that verges on obsession. I would feel a little sorry for Cecile, but I don't think she was looking for anything other than someone to snog and shag during the wedding night. Also loved the description of everyone in tears - even Xander himself (well, almost) - and the reference to Ginny made me feel pretty sad; it might have already been mentioned, but what happened to her? Poor Harry, having lost everyone in his life must have been devastated when Ginny too departed from it :(((
The idea of the Clarifiers. YIKES. There's a strong hint of Neo-Voldemortism about them. Chapman being dead and his obliviated memories being found spells something dangerous, especially for Xander. And this mysterious stomach curse that's affecting only muggleborns has piqued my curiosity. Will Reagan be able to create an antidote before it kills any more innocent people?
Love the gift that Xander bought for Lily, and the bond between Harry and Xander as shown by Harry doing the 'goodnight' rounds, ahhh <3 And Scorpius for having noticed how much Lily has 'grown' and what she means to Xander...
Eagerly awaiting the next chapter!
Meera <3
Author's Response:Ginny passed away some years ago. It's sort of mentioned in chapter three (more like alluded to) but it does get talked about more later on. Clarifiers are definitely scary. I'm glad your interest is piqued and I promise all those questions will be answered somewhat soon ;)
Thank you so much for keeping up with this story and all your wonderful reviews. They really mean so much to much to me!
-Quilly
Hi Quilly, I'm back for tag!
I really enjoyed this chapter <3 Interesting to find out that there's someone in Professor Reagan who Xander is respectful of. He seems very keen to keep Xander's nose to the grindstone and to maintain hs focus. For a teenage boy, Xander has remarkable focus and knowledge really, so perhaps the old geezer ought to cut him a break, but hey. I'm guessing he has his reasons to be so invested...:eyes:
HUGO IN AN OVERSIZED YELLOW JUMPER!!! My heart just melted. I ADORE Hugo and how he comes across in this story, and although I was a bit "huh??Hugo? An Auror?" when he revealed the career he'd set his mind on, I guess he has characteristics that would suit the role. Good luck in getting past his dad, though I wonder why Ron is so against his son becoming an Auror. Is it because it's a risky, dangerous job?
Loved the bridesmaid dress-fitting scene, with Lily likening herself to an evergreen and Lucy not wanting to emerge from the changing cubicle and then telling Victoire to 'fuck off' hahahaha! It just felt so natural and funny and scattered with disgruntled bridesmaids who a/ perhaps don't really want to be there and/or b/ hating their dresses!
Hmmm; Harry sending a polyjuiced Teddy in place of the real one - like isn't that a bit risky of him? What if the polyjuiced person heard things not intended for their ears? Does Victoire know - she could end up, errm, doing things with a complete stranger dressed up as her husband-to-be(!) As an aside, HUGO STILL IN HIS YELLOW JUMPER in the middle of a high-end club (or what sounds like a high-end club) is effing hysterical, ha!
Xander's nightmares :( I feel sure this is some hangover of memory from his childhood. Lily finding Xander shirtless :eyes: and then getting embarrassed/annoyed at her own reaction gets me right in the feels and something's gotta happen pretty soon between these two!! Just maybe tread carefully around Harry, mmkay?
LOVED this chapter!
Meera <3
Author's Response:Reagan... expects a lot. And I'll leave that at that :shifty eyes:
I love Hugo too. And it's funny because as soon as I started drafting this story, Hugo was going to want to be an auror. I think I just see it from the stance of, he genuinely cares. He's like about playing the hero or running into danger (like maybe Harry and Ron were) but he cares about doing the right thing. In so many ways, Hugo is my personal ideal version of the Gryffindor, though he's so different from all the other Gyffindors in this story.
The bridesmaid dress-fitting scene was fun to write! I'm glad you liked it! I don't get to include them often so it was nice to find a meaningful place for them here. Victoire did know... I originally added this tidbit but then the chapter dragged, and I had to leave that information hanging hehe.
'tread carefully around Harry' bahahaha 100% agree.
Thank you for another wonderful review!
Love, Quilly.
Hi Quilly, I'm back for another tag review!
Oh gosh. Andrew; that was SUCH a dick move. One of many dick moves, my friend. First of all, you need to get your shit together and do your own homework. Secondly, a sincere apology is in order. And thirdly, you were pounching WELL above your weight and Xander is correct; you should be grateful for what you had. Plus, you only have yourself to blame for the breakdown of your relationship so stop feeling sorry for yourself.
LMAO at the horror Xander would have undoubtedly experienced at having to deal with a snotty, snivelling Andrew...
Lily seems like an unwilling leader or bandwagon-driver here for her dorm-mates (and the rest of the school), and I feel terribly sorry for her in this respect; it must be pretty awful to have your styles scrutinised and then copied if you're not the sort of girl who wants to be followed around by a bunch of devotees... That conversation with Nia was most illuminating regarding Lily's feelings about Xander; I get the impression she's hiding her subconscious feelings from herself more than anyone. Or maybe I'm reading too much into this. LOL
Oh, there's definitely chemistry at play between Lily and Xander here as the worked together to heal the injured Thestral. The way that Xander insists she wears his jacket. The way that Lily is drawn to the smell of the jacket. The way he holds his hand out for hers and she convinces herself it's nothing. And the protective way in which Xander bundles her into a cupboard because the prefects are on patrol.
And then Xander's interference with regards to Edward Ballard. It's somehow more than simple sibling protection...
I LOVE this line (well, I loved many lines in this chapter, but this one is my favourite): "Her temper was a rocket he always knew how to light"
You have such an incredible way with words. I'm loving this story!
Meera <3
Author's Response:Yes, yes, and yessss to all your points about Andrew! Lol And yeah, Xander doesn't do well with emotions - much less coming from Lily's exboyfriend.
There's definitely tension between Xander and Lily - and there'll be more insight into that later on ;)
-Quilly
Here for the tag!
Okay, wow.
I felt...enthralled by this first chapter. It's been a while since I've read something that had such a distinctive old school HP-books vibe, but at the same time, the tone is much more mature, with Harry being an adult.
This first chapter is so brilliant. I loved your minimalist but super effective descriptions, and the hooks just kept on coming and digging into my brain. I've always liked these realistic post-war next-gen plots, and I'm so here for this one. Adult Harry is so well characterised, and yet at the same time, when he was telling Chapman to send Xander to live with no-majs, I felt this Dumbledore-ish vibe to it all, and even Ginny pointed it out later. Still, the parallel between Harry's upbringing and what has been happening to Xander is undeniable, and it makes for such an intriguing premise.
Ah, erasing his memories...no wonder Harry doesn't want to do it. Again it sounds a lot like something Dumbledore would have done. Sure, it's done with a good intention, to save the kid's mind, to protect themselves against his darkness too, but at the same time, it's still a lie, and the truth will always catch up. But that's cool, though, because it gives the reader this great sense and foreboding of what the story might be about. Just delicious story-telling so far!
I loved Ginny in this. Fierce, strong for when Harry can't be, determined, because she knows that this is something that must be done, taken care of, and she's smart about it, too, I guess, not wanting to involve the Ministry, ergo having to lie to Ron and Hermione. It's all complicated and muddy, but you kind of understand their decisions.
Oh, I also liked that part when Harry was musing about why he didn't get involved with this big problem earlier. Just simply life got in the way, and this boy now man who had never had a family wanted to focus on the one he had built with Ginny, and it's valid and fair. Oh my heart, the line about Ron speaking up about doing something about this, I loved that little show of Ron's character.
I am...honestly so fucking excited about this fic, you totally totally got me!
Eli
Author's Response:Oh my gosh, Eli. This review made my day! The first chapter is so separate and different from the rest of the story, I always felt insecure about including it, but it was necessary so ::shrugs:: in any case, you liking it meant the world to me. I think you really understood the complicated-ness of the whole situation, and they've definitely made decisions that are going to carry reprecussions later on. Thank you for all the kinds words <3
-Quilly
Hey Quilly, back for review tag!
What a beautifully-poetic opening line to this chapter <3 There's always more to a break-up than the loss of a hand, right? It's not just the partner you lose, but the friends too, and it can feel as though the whole world around you has flipped on its axis. Of course, Lily being a Potter, news of the break-up reaches everyone else too, even complete strangers. Wait - did Andrew Rodgers tip off the press?? What a piece of shit if so!!! I really feel for Lily here; it's hard enough as an adult to cope with a relationship breakdown but a hormonal teenager with the tabloid press at their neck too? UGH :(
As an aside, I LOVE the magazine name 'Witch and Famous' hahaha!!
And UGH, how patronising and thoughtless of Caroline to bring up Lily's academic sstruggles in front of Xander and Hugo, to heap more pressure on the poor girl. I'm not particularly liking Caroline TBH; if Xander drops her like a hot potato, I don't think I'll be terribly upset about it. Wonder if Xander will bring her to the wedding or if it will be the cause of an argument between them? Hah - I've just read on - so Caroline is trying to make Xander jealous by dating someone else? Good luck with that one, love.
The poor thestral :( So there is a compassionate side to Xander, after all. But taking Lily's wand was a bit of a dick move.
Lots going on in this chapter and my curiosity is piqued about Lily's death, what Xander remembers from his childhood, Xander himself, what will happen when Lily and Xander sneak out to rescue the thestral, whether Caroline is going to prove herself a bit of a spanner in the works...SO excited that I still have a couple of chapters to read!!
Meera <3
Author's Response:Ugh yes high school break ups - or Hogwarts break ups in this case - are so complicated, especially when you've dating for a while, and that relationship sort of shaped your social world as well. I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter over all - and that you picked up on so many things!
-Quilly
In this chapter, I can see how the pressure of greatness and living as one of HPs kids is beginning to get to Xander. You remind us that he has flaws just like any other human, in spite of this cool demeanor where he tries to exude perfection.
The dress fitting with the girls was an absolute delight to read! You balanced multiple personalities in that scene very well and I could envision everything that was happening so perfectly in my mind!
And then I loved the flow of the club moment. And finally! Ok so Xander's feelings for Lily is likely what drove them apart as kids? It's interesting that even though he was adopted that he doesn't view them as his family. I'm not adopted, so I can't judge or relate, but I thought that was a representation you don't always see without the questioning where you came from storyline.
Poor Xander with his nightmares...Lily comforting him was incredibly sweet though. Almost like their special bond was returning in a way? Anyway, I wonder if he caught that mysterious illness that was referenced and if we will see more of that in the next chapter.
Another great installment! Looking forward to more!
<3 Courtney
Author's Response:Thank you for the review, Courtney! Xander definitely has a lot of pressures and feelings like he needs to keep up/prove himself. I'm glad you enjoyed the dress fitting scene. I always getting nervous writing scenes with multipe characters so it meant a lot to hear you say you thought it had worked out well enough. Xander's feelings for Lily... definitely played a part, amongst a couple different things that just led to them natrually growing up. But, yeah, Lily has always cared for him, and I'm glad you got a sense of that at the end. Thank you again for such insightful review.
-Quilly
Hey Quilly, I'm back for more! (and tag!)
What an opening to this chapter; I almost spat my tea out. LOL at Xander's observations. He's SO Slytherin, it's beautiful! But ooooh, he's taking BIG risks winding up McGonagall, and blurting out that he should have been Head Boy...half of me is cringing and the other half LMAO. Talk about egocentric! You're really setting this story up with some seriously amazing characters and plot-lines. I'm getting such Voldemort vibes here...and a Voldemort wannabe who lives under Harry Potter's roof has SUCH potential for chaos and the darkest of darknessing.
I wonder how long Caroline is going to remain on Xander's radar for? It seems as though he's just having a bit of fun with her at present but would drop her like a hot brick if someone more desirable - cough *Lily* cough - happened to venture into the frame? Something tells me that Caroline probably feels more deeply for Xander than he does for her. Or will he simply decide that partners aren't going to get in the way of his quest for world domination? :eyes:|
Loved learning about the cousins at Hogwarts and about Molly and Lucy's characters, and the friend groups, and how these characters are going to play a role in this story. Also love all the conversational details and the dialogue which sounds so natural, I could be there in Hogwarts listening to them all <3
Oh, and the detail about the origin of Hugo's name and the reference to Viktor Krum is totally :chefskiss: Of course Ron wouldn't like it!
Another brilliant chapter <3
Meera <3
Author's Response:Hehe Xander is fully Slytherin, I agree, and I love Slytherins, but their ambitions tend to get them in trouble, so there's definitely some of that going on with him. McGonagall clearly isn't one to take his shennigans though lol I'm so glad your enjoying the characterizations so far! It means a lot to hear you say that that <3
-Quilly
Author's Response:Hehe Xander is fully Slytherin, I agree, and I love Slytherins, but their ambitions tend to get them in trouble, so there's definitely some of that going on with him. McGonagall clearly isn't one to take his shennigans though lol I'm so glad your enjoying the characterizations so far! It means a lot to hear you say that that <3
-Quilly
Hi Quill2Parchment, here for review tag!
Portkeying directly into a Hogwarts Express compartment? Nice! What a clever way of avoiding the platform and any unwanted attention! And Lily having seven trunks made me snort. Good job that Xander is able to charm them all into much smaller and presumably lighter versions for the journey.
I bet Andrew was thinking 'WTF' when he found Hugo alone and probably looking like he was having a conversation with himself in Lily's train cabin, but couldn't see Lily herself because of the invisibility cloak, haha! I get why she's hiding; the train is no place for a show-down and who wants to be the centre of the gossip on the first day of school?
All the references to Ginny without us actually having seen Ginny in this story so far - does this mean that she's...dead??! Like no, what happened to her?? Or did she and Harry divorce and she moved abroad or something...damn, I NEED to know!
Okay, so Xander can be a bit of an ass with Lily at times, but it's clear he does care for her and has... (very hidden) feelings for her? Interesting with all his charm, intelligence and natural ability that he wasn't granted Head Boy status, or even Prefect? But maybe Hugo was too much competition for him. Speaking of Hugo...I ADORE him <3 and am rooting for him and Hannah to get together!!
Looking forward to the next chapter!
Meera <3
Author's Response:Hi Meera! Yes, Ginny did pass away a few years ago. It sort of gets subtly mentioned and then it'll be discussed a bit more later on. It was a heartbreaking decision but so vital for the plot ::cries:: And Hugo is definitely a better choice for a Head Boy but that does get discussed later on as well ;) Thank you so much for this review!
- Quilly
Hi Quill2parchment, I'm back for Ch 2!
Again, another chapter that just makes me want to keep devouring thgis story! I see we've moved on in time and Xander is now of age; I wonder if we'll see glimpses of his childhood under Harry and Ginny's parentage? And how he interacted with James, Albus and Lily when they were all kids? I love the description of the Potter Manor gates 'shooting upwards and disappearing into the sky' it creates a really effective image. Just why are so many muggles finding their way to the gates? And why is Xander so excited about getting to reinforce the security charms - is it just the sense of responsibility, or the opportunity to play with serious spells, or is it for some other, more dark reason? I cannot shake off a sinister feeling about Xander, somehow.
Ahh, we get to meet Lily! And get an idea of the relationship between Xander and Lily; also a bit of Lily's past. I feel very sorry for her; it's so hard when someone sets their heart on a person who's intended for someone else. I wonder how Lily and Rose are with each other now that Scorpius and Rose are to wed? Lily and Xander - well, they don't seem to be exactly best friends right now :eyes: but the dialogue between them is brilliant. This bit is probably my favourite:
“What’s gotten into you? You look like you just ate a toad-flavored jelly bean.”
“And you,” said Lily, clearly insulted by the initiation that she looked anything less than perfect, “look like the toad that flavored the jelly bean.”
LMAO!!
Xander seems a most prodigious wizard - Apparating to Istanbul? Did he somehow 'convince' the examiner to let him? This 'persuasive' ability reminds me a little of Voldemort, yikes. And the interest in Grindelwald is certainly an eye-opener, disturbing in fact, especially the way that Xander tries to justify his actions.
It sounds as though Lily is in for a rough ride if she's planning on breaking up with Andrew, but from the content and inconsistent tone of his letters, he doesn't seem like the most stable of people to have as a boyfriend...
Another brilliant chapter! Really hooked on this story <3
Meera <3
Author's Response:Meera, thank you so much for another really kind review! A sense of responsiblity/wanting to test his own magic was mostly what was behind that whole wanting to reinforce the security charsm. There's definitely a sinster vibe that tends to follow him ;) I'm so glad you liked Lily/Xander's dialogue! They can be so childish but I love being able to play off on their vexation for one another. Thank you once again! Love, Quilly.
OMG.
OMMMGGG.
This is the best chapter so far, I can’t believe what I just read! I want to say so much and at the same time, I can’t quote and comment THE WHOLE CHAPTER.
I'll try to make some bullet points.
Reagan, honey, can’t say I’ve missed you although you had me dying at your modist comment–Are you secretly watching Bridgerton, old man?– but he does seem to know a lot about Xander (Anna R anyone? I also can't believe how well I remember everything, I wish this memory would be helpful for other stuff haha) and I CANNOT WAIT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS. I need to stop with the capital letters but I seriously love where you’re taking us with Connerton & Galaforth. I even wonder if this weird stomach curse is as innocent as we think but oh well I might be paranoid. I also wonder why they’re so fascinated with Grindelwald. I think I remember them thinking Voldemort was sub-par to him and the rift that happened when the Clarifiers I guess decided to do their own thing in the US so yes maybe old’ Gellert was the inspiration behind it. Especially because I think they had a real fascination for magic and the purity of it…A fascination Voldy maybe didn’t have cause he only strived for his own immortality and quest for power.
Teddy, I also don’t know what’s with that. I was so shocked to read about this Polyjuice farce they build up…What are you up to Harry??
On some brighter notes, Lucy is bloody everything, stellar character and I love seeing the Wotters again (I know you said JSP was your favorite and same he's also my favorite). Hugo and his yellow jumper are what I live for and…
XANDER AND LILY! I LOVE YOU GUYS! DAMMN, my heart is about to burst. I love love when they get back to the comradery, teasing, tension, they always had and I know Xander loves it too when she teases him. I mean “she was still so quintessentially Lily, with that playfulness about her and those millions of thoughts flying across her eyes like a shower of shooting stars…”. I feel like I’m blessed with beautiful heart-stopping quotes every chapter. ♥?
And honey “I hope you get exactly the kind of love you wish to have.”–how dare you attack my heart like that? I can’t with these two! AND “the moonlight outside his window fell just so on her, highlighting the redness that was spreading from her neck to her cheeks” paralleled to “I hope I do one day. I just hope I'm not seventeen. I hope I'm thirty, and I hope he doesn't make me blush.” Damn, damn, I love you for this, this is bloody amazing, because I sincerely hope Lily’ll be thirty, as in love with him as she was at 17, still blushing. THIS is the love I wish they both have.
Now they just need to figure their shit out to one day admit their feelings. ONE DAY. I’ll wait however long it takes, I’m so in love with their story and I need to reread this like yesterday. This gave me new music ideas for the playlist. I’m sorry for this whole mess of a review, I've forgotten half the things i really wanted to say, but this is just what your chapter rendered me to. THANK YOU FOR STILL POSTING THIS, love! xx ♥?
Author's Response:Ameera! Your reviews always make me tear up! I'm not even exaggerating when I saw say your words mean THE WORLD to me. I feel like you know and understand this characters so well and your love for them is just such a motivation/inspiration to keep going.
I also can't believe how well you remember everything! I sometimes have to go into my old notes to check on certain things but you have impeccable memory! I plan to deveop Reagan a little differently in this new revised version, but hopefully it only serves to explain a lot more a lot sooner. And yes, your take on Voldermort v. Grindelwald is spot on and definitelys something we will touch on ;) Ah Harry, always up to something. More on that coming up very, very soon. Hehe I love writing Lucy. There are so many characters I wish I could give more space to but it would make the story drag on for eternity so I try to insert them here and there and hopefully do enough to show their personalities.
Ah! I'm so glad you enjoyed the Xander/Lily moment. That whole scene was entirely new but (I thought) very much needed to show their thought processes. The fact that you picked up on the blushing comment and her blushing ::happytears:: Yes, he's so much what she says she doesn't want - but yeah, I won't say more for now ;)
I love that you can imagine a playlist for this! and THANK YOU for still continuing to come and review this story! Love, Quilly.
Hey! I thought I'd take the opportunity to jump in on review tag and check out your story :) I'm excited to read In This Darkness - I've heard many good things <3
Immediately, I'm drawn by your descriptions of this dingy laundromat, complete with its sleeping owner. The opening paragraph has mystery written all over it. And - ooh! - what's Harry, of all people, got to do with this laundromat owner in Detroit? Mason wrote to him? Hmmm - curious. Mason's history is intriguing, and I'm already excited about delving into his back-story and discovering who his wizarding relatives are. I wonder if he and Harry are somehow related?
I feel both terribly sorry for Xander and also incredibly wary of him - he's six years old yet able to perform a Cruciatus curse without a wand and seemingly able to control it? Harry's compassion here is so understandable and I suspect he's justifying taking Xander due to the parallels in his own childhood and wanting to protect this boy who could easily turn into a weapon in the wrong hands. It's a risky and uncomfortable situation - and I wonder whether Harry is doing the right thing by erasing Xander's memories? Mason's loss of memory I can rationalise with more as it serves to protect him from anyone who may start digging in Detroit, but I kinda feel that Xander losing his memories is gonna bite Harry on the ass in the future... and I am so here for seeing just how all the threads in this chapter are going to unfold through the story.
This first chapter is brilliantly-written - I was hooked throughout - and I can't wait to find out what's going to happen next. Love the characterisation and the premise of this story. Amazing start!
Meera <3
Author's Response:Awe Meera, your review was so kind and sweet! Thank you! I absolutely agree that erasing a child's memory is a huge ethical concern - and yeah, we'll definitely see more on the effects of that later on. I'm so glad you liked the first chapter. Love, Quilly.
i've been meaning to check out this for ages but literally every time i thought i had a chance to catch you in tag someone else would swoop in :P but anyhow!
i'm really loving the dnagerous vibe you've got in this story right from the start - you've created this super noir atmosphere with chapman sleeping in the laundromat, a storm brewing outside and then a stranger appears (not a stranger to us though....). for some reason it's really giving me off these true detective vibes, the intro theme and sequence, i know it's not related like, at all, but i just really really love the way you've written the atmosphere and how super tense everything feels right from the start.
xander's backstory is intriguing and i can't help but wonder how much damage harry and ginny will be doing to him by erasing his memories - i know he'd been through really bad stuff, but erasing his memories isn't ideal imo, and i've got a feeling it's going to come back at some point and it won't be a good situation. the fact that he apparently inherited some of the rousell magic and is able to cast spells without a wand, especially difficult ones like the cruciatus curse makes xander this mysterious character that i can't wait to find out more about! i'm especially interested in what type of magic is the rousell magic.... :EYES:
also also i felt like the vibe you started with and this super dark atmosphere was also accentuated with the description of how things were and are in the usa, like, it really contrasted well with what we expect from post-canon uk - evil always finds a way and death eaters who moved to the states found themselves another playground <.< which is depressing but gritty and realistic and i loved that!
i'm really excited to read more of this story, especially how xander ends up fitting in with the potters...it probably won't be smooth :P
kris
Author's Response:Kirs, it's so nice to meet you!
I would LOVE to be able to write a true dective story so I appreciate that lol Oh yeah, the decision to erase his memories was definitely an ethical dilemma and is bound to affect him later on. I really wanted to play with the idea of war and foregin policies and such and I feel like post wizarding war UK just so lends itself to this idea that we kind of see in the first chapter and that I intend to continue exploring. Thank you so much for such a thoughtful review! I really appreciate it. Love, Quilly.
“You should have known better than to give her something that couldn’t shine on its own merit.”
^^ REALLY loved this line. It was snappy yet poetic.
The "come to Jesus," moment between Xander and Andrew was intriguing. Again, we see Xander sort of acting protective towards Lily behind her back. But to her face, he really doesn't do that. It's like he'd rather she doesn't know about such things. I wonder why though. Is it a "I'm a teenage boy and this is my elusive, bad boy reputation that I need to uphold," sort of thing? She would likely see it as intrusive or invasive though, so I suppose this is his way of "saving face," without incurring her wrath.
Anyway, enough speculation, Courtney. Time to carry on with discussing the rest of the chapter. ;)
I enjoyed the next section immensely where we see Lily and her girlfriends just being girlfriends and chatting and discussing styles and it was a very slice of "normal." I suppose Lily craves such things. Even if it seems like these "normal," things become something larger than Lily it would seem. Like she wears bows because they make her feel good, but then, everyone wants to be like her too. I see her as a totally reluctant "popular girl," now. And so, her isolating nature in previous chapters totally makes sense to me now. But here, with Nia, she is most like herself. Anyway, I really am enjoying all that you are doing with her character.
But it's also interesting how Lily also takes on this protective air regarding Xander, outside of his presence as well. So that was a neat little parallel too. It's clear they care about one another, but are too proud to express that to one another.
Ahh it kind of hurts me that Harry doesn't seem to check in with his kids regarding the news article. Like he knows what it is like to have his name printed in a negative and untrue manner. I wonder why he doesn't at least reach out and check in. Maybe he feels awkward because it's Lily and he supposed that Ginny would be there to listen to such things and he doesn't know how. Anyway. I hope we get more adult Harry soon. You write him very well.
There definitely is a distinct sexual tension in the broom closet. It feels very Dan/Serena Gossip Girl with the whole it's not really incest, but like there's a bit of weirdness Lily feels that stops her from acting on it. Which I think makes total sense. They might not be blood relatives, but they've been raised as siblings. So there is this moment of "is this really happening because this is kind of weird?" that Lily feels and prompts her to revert back to their usual sibling-esque banter.
Anyway, this was a great chapter. You're doing a fabulous job with these characters!
<3 Courtney
Author's Response:Yeah, I think he suspects she'd be upset if she found out he was meddling in her business, especially since he hasn't really been a friend to her for most of the past few years. But yeah, you're right Lily's also protective over him, so they both care, they just don't really know how to show it to each other. Yes, Lily's very much left on her own when it comes to a lot of things, and it is very sad, though I think the teenager in her kind of wants to think she prefers not to have to deal with the embarassment of having to talk to her dad about it, she's also missing out on some important grown up support. Thank you so much for the review! Love, Quilly.
Hi, Quilly! Back again for more tag! :)
This was another great chapter! Already loving the dynamic you've created between Xander and Lily! I can totally see it, she being so fierce and exhuberant (and maybe a bit trivial, at least in Xander's eyes... :P) while he is extraordinary smart but mostly quiet and reserved (but enjoys triggering her... :P there is something so amusing about him being a people-pleaser, but taking pleasure in setting her rage off... it just feels right, for some reason, and I love it! :P)
The opening was so atmospheric and dark(-ish)... that poor Muggle... for a moment I seriously thought he was in danger, Xander does have that evil-ish vibe... then, of course, nothing actually dark was happening, but you had me worried for a minute there... :P
I love the relationship between Xander and Harry, too. You can tell that Xander looks at him with big respect, and that Harry truly cares for him like he was his son... I wonder if the relationship will be spoiled when the truth about Xander's origins will eventually come out... for now, they have a really sweet bond, and I like that! :)
I also wonder what's up with the incident in Connerton... are the people behind it actually linked to the people who killed Xander's mother? And what does it all have to do with Grindelwald? Mmmh... a lot of intriguing stuff going on there... :P
Ah, Lily... she's being a bit childish about Rose and Scorpius getting together, I think... but also it goes deeper than that, doesn't it? She feels lonely, all the important people in her life seeming to drift away... and... Ginny's dead, I think you've been hinting to? She still should deal with things in a more mature way, instead of running away from everything... also with Andrew... she should've told him that they needed to talk and told him in person sometime over the summer (I agree that breaking up through a letter wouldn't be the best way...) It's only going to be harder when she meets him tomorrow... but, yeah, these things are never easy, are they?
(Xander seems to be able to read her much better than anyone though, doesn't he? :P)
Brilliant work so far! I'll try to be back soon! :D
Snowball hug,
Chiara
Author's Response:Hehe Xander does have the evil vibes/mood at times but all was well with the muggle! I really wanted to introduce teenage Xander through the eyes of a stranger, exactly for this reason, so we can kind of see how he comes on to people who don't know him that well. And yes, a lot of Lily's immatuirty comes from loneliness and not knowing how to deal with things in a healthy way, unfortunately. Thank you so much for your review! I really do always appreciate hearing your thoughts on the story! Love, Quilly.
So much is happening at this point in the story! In a good way, of course.
The continued plot of Lily and Andrew's break up and how it's a big deal simply because she's a Potter and its "newsworthy," absolutely heartwrenching. Breaking up is hard enough when you have to face your peers, let alone the rest of the world. I wonder what Harry thinks of it all.
It's good that Lily seems to have allies within her team though, who are actively against the Ravenclaw Tower Rumor Mill and what's being printed about her. I loved that the Scamander Twins sort of served as a future version of Fred/George. They feel fun and full of mischief already, even with the few lines you gave them here.
And eifuwvfdusgevr about Caroline's "sexy," comment. Like GURL. You can tel she's trying to be cool with the arrangement she has with Xander, but it's totally not working haha. And that small, genuine moment between Lily and Xander in Herbology was sweet. I loved all of your magical details regarding the plants and their assignment.
Though I don't know about Xander. Something about him taking Lily's wand as if he "knows what's best for her," I don't like that vibe. And I appreciate her resistence to it. Because she deserves agency. And maybe he's meant to just be a foil for her impulsiveness and I am just looking too deeply into it hah. But yeah, I totally would hex him too upon getting my wand back Lils ;)
The bit with the Thestral was interesting though. I'm curious how that will tie in with the larger plot of this story. It seems like in addition to all the teenage strife and drama, which I am thoroughly enjoying, there's a larger plot looming and I am very excited to see what that ends up being!
<3 Courtney
TAG!
Author's Response:Courtney, I kind of think of child stars/children of child stars and how very early on they're subjected to so much scrunity and it breaks my heart for them irl and I can't not see being something the Wotters have had to deal with as they grow up. Xander does foil Lily in that they're different but he's also definitely very I-know-better and arrogant. He needs to do a lot of growing up. Thank you so much for your review! <3Quilly
Hi, Quilly! Hitting you back on tag! :D
(So... I know I read and reviewed part of this already at some point, but I can't see any reviews here... maybe I did on HPFF? Either way, it's been a long time, and you said you've made some revisions, so I'll just start over again and I hope that's okay :P)
I love this opening chapter! Poor, little Xander... only a child, but he's been through so much suffering and darkness already... Chapman is one disgusting individual, and Harry was even too magnanimous to him... I think it was a great parallel you drew, btw, between Harry and Xander. I can totally imagine Harry seeing himself in him... and I'm not at all surprised that Harry would decide to take Xander with him and raise him himself. The whole scene sort of gave me Hagrid-comes-pick-Harry-from-the-Dursleys vibes :P At least, if you don't consider the darker parts... it's terrifying to imagine a child his age using the Cruciatus Curse... but again, with everything he's been through, not unbelievable... :/
And the whole backstory of his family is so intriguing and fascinating! I wonder if and when it will all come into play later on in your story... I suppose Xander's true identity will come back to hit him at some point somehow? But I guess I'll find out if I read on... :P
I love your Ginny! I love her pragmatic approach, but also her motherly instinct and how she's immediately so protective of Xander and willing to go all lengths to keep him safe. Even if she probably thinks that Harry's decision was crazy and even if she would've wanted to be consulted first (which, I mean, fair... :P) One thing I also really loved was how she was so adamant with Harry about Xander not being a weapon. The parallel between Harry's story and Xander's story is evident, but if he's staying, they're going to look at him as a son, and not as an instrument, and I love that!
As for the decision to erase his memories... it's a harsh one, and sad, but it makes a lot of sense at the same time. It's a way to give him a real fresh start and a bit of serenity he wouldn't have otherwise... I still have a feeling it's going to backfire, eventually, but it does make sense at the moment, and hopefully it'll make things a bit easier for everyone!
Great first chapter! :D
Snowball hug,
Chiara
Author's Response:Hi Chiara! I remember your reviews and it might have been on HPFF because I using that site more at that time. Either way, yes, I've made tons of revisions so it's more than okay for you to start over. I so appreciate you picking up on the paralleism - and I'm glad you apporved of Ginny's characterization here. It's so hard to justify erasing anyone's memories, and a child's, well, I think the ethics of is is questionable but it was something they felt had to be done and we'll see consequences of it later ;) Thank you for such a thoughtful review!
Hiya! Me again for some tag!
So Xander continues to something of a riddle to me. He honestly reminds me of a young Tom Riddle, with his smooth, manipulative nature. He definitely is also ambituous, to the point of irritating the piss out of everyone. Yet he has has a friend in Hugo, who honestly seems like such a nice guy. And then his relationship with Caroline is also very interesting. I almost wonder if he's aro from the way you write him. It's clear he is very sex positive though, but it seems like romantic attachments just aren't his thing. And his awareness of this, and how he tells Caroline that just led me to believe that.
Hugo and Hannah seem like a totally adorkable couple that I could most definitely get on board with. I just loved their little interaction at the end.
I am interested in whay Xander wants to achieve by becoming an Animagus. I have no doubt you will show us why, like you have with everything else, when the timing is right.
As always, excellent character development!
<3 Courtney
Author's Response:I've heard other people compare him to Tom Riddle before - and yes, I think there's a lot of parallels to draw between Harry/Tom and Harry/Xander and even Xander/Tom. The nature vs nurture thematic has always intrigued me so it was an underlying idea I wanted to explore in this fic. I would'nt say he's aro precisely but there is this disattachment he tries to achieve. It does get explored more later in the fic. I love how you pick up on on these things. It makes me very excited. <3 Quilly
Oh wow this chapter packed a powerful emotional punch for sure! I really like how you chose to explore the differences in Lily and Xander and how it sort of equates to the breakdown in their relationship. My heart goes out to Lily. Teenage angst and navigating the complexities of this time in your life is truly rough. And you don't shy away from depicting the harsh reality and cruelty of teenagers. It hurts, but it's totally realistic.
And then add the trauma of losing a parent unexpectedly. Yeah, this explains so much about why Lily was self-isolating. She's trying to figure out what is important in her life and who is important to her and she's now expected to through all of these things that a girl would like to have a female figure there for (like first heartbreak/break up), and she doesn't. </3
Harry being slightly aloof towards his kids and thinking they can self-manage because they're legally adults felt realistic. Especially with Ginny being gone. His obsessive tendancies are showing with the way he's now fully work focused. Or at least, that is how it seems.
I really loved Hugo in this. He sounds like a delightfully weird kid, what with his odd clothing taste, and he almost reminded me of Arthur Weasley. (Who I happen to love, btw, so naturally I want more Hugo.)
I also really enjoyed seeing glimpses of Xander and Lily amongst their different friend groups. This also helps to show how their relationship sort of deteriorated over time. They likely just grew apart as their personalities changed throughout adolescence. Again, the hypocrisy among the kids was palpable and I really thought you captured this age group very well.
It's always interesting how girls get a bad rap for being heartbreakers when they aren't genuinely interested in a guy, but guys can just be perceived as "players," or "cool," and people seem to sort of respect them more in the aftermath of a breakup. That's another really great critique of society that you bring to light in this story. I don't know if it was intentional, but I sort of read it like that.
Another stellar chapter with A+ character development!
Oh and also, tag! :)
<3 Courtney
Author's Response:Oh I totally agree on the double standars with girls, and I definitely thought Lily showed a little bit of that. Like, yes, there was mistakes made on both sides, but she dated the guy for three years and everyone, her friends and Xander included, kind of see her as heartbreaker for ending it. If it'd been a boy, a three year relationship starting in your early teens would've been a lifetime, and everyone would've agreed Andrew was a great guy for trying to make it work for so long. The double standards are always aggravating. But I get to vent a little about that through fiction ;p
Tag! So glad to be back for more! :D
I really love the way you have of describing things in certain ways. Like "there were lines he drew so hard, they might as well have been etched on his skin" or "haven’t-done-that-homework-yet blissful irresponsibility" or "the sort of pretty Xander couldn’t stand, the kind that made it hard to breathe." Really singular ways of describing things that stand out as I'm reading.
Xander, my friend, you have it baddddddd for Lily, there are no two ways about this. XD In spite of his professed dislike for her in his internal narrative, Xander is absolutely preoccupied constantly with whatever Lily is doing, and his disapproval or grudging approval of it.
Xander's an interesting guy. There's this aspect of him that seems quite disciplined and controlled and focused, the part that is studying for 12 NEWTs and the part that wanted to help Harry with the wards around the house and so forth. But then he's also so... I don't know. The way he is with girls, like Caroline -- which is not to say one can't do whatever they like romantically and sexually and still be a focused, controlled person, but even Xander seems to admit to himself that he doesn't know why he does the things that he does, like getting with Caroline on the train. But IDK, I suppose if there's something linking both these sides of him, it's being sort of self-involved and self-aggrandizing -- and that seems to be what McGonagall thinks of him, too, in a way; self-serving. Xander does whatever is good for Xander, whether it's in the moment or playing the long game.
Lucy being a big troublemaker is too much, lmao. XD And then her own sister giving her detention. God, that house must be a lot of fun during school holidays. Oof.
Hugo is a dude, and I am very rooting for Hugo/Hannah. How adorable. <3
Melanie <3
Author's Response:Xander... definitely does have it bad. Haha. The poor kid. And. yes, you're right. He's very focused, very determined, but such a mess about other things and definitely very self-involved, though, of course, he doesn't see it. Lol
Thank you so much your review, Melanie! Your words mean so much to me!
<3 Quilly
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