Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 01 Feb 2020 05:49 PM · For: Skewed Toward Truth

Hi Renee, I’m here for the CMDC, round #2

You did an awesome job with Alicia’s feelings. You really captured all of low self-esteem  but high hopes emotions that run through a teenager. Setting them up for a dance but then having her explore her wishes for a boyfriend made one want to cheer her on. Yes, Alicia, maybe Lee is the one. . . then again, maybe not-great description of a over expectant, under performing kiss. 

Then my heart went out to Oliver, the horrible daunting task of asking a girl out. I’m just glad it ended with no hard feelings either way, both for their sakes and the sake of the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

I thought for a moment, she was going to kiss Lee again for the third one, but some unknown bloke works well too. I was thinking how many ways can one describe a blah kiss. Renee’s done a great job so far, but what would she say this time. She’d say, “whatever”--great casual description for such a casual kiss.

 

And the grand finale was so sweet. One can’t help but like Katie for one knows not matter what Alicia decides, Katie will always be there as her friend. Once again, I found myself cheering for Alicia and glad for her that the second kiss was even better than the first.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for this review! This story is close to my heart, and I'm glad you thought Alicia's feelings shined through. 

Name: pookha (Signed) · Date: 16 Aug 2019 02:22 AM · For: Skewed Toward Truth

Here for the review event: story title in alphabetical order! 

There's nothing like that real first kiss and how it makes you feel when the butterflies tingle in your stomach and that's what Alicia was missing every time she kissed a guy. Your descriptions of each of the kisses was great and it gave the meh feeling that Alicia was having each time. Your word choice was deliberate and clear. There's always your first kiss, then your real first kiss; sometimes they coincide, more often they don't and this is an illustration of that. The doubt that Alicia feels with each failed kiss grows organically and really pushes the story along

I also like they way that Alicia was trying to conform, but unsure of how to or if she couldn't why she couldn't and what that was making her feel. You do a good job showing her doubting herself: if I'm not het, there must be something wrong, and Katie doing a good job explaining gently that this is not the case, both in words and deeds.

One thing I could take a lesson from you in in particular was your way to describe the firls and boys without being stereotypical about it. You paint a vivid picture of them.

 

Author's Response:

Hi! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing :) I never noticed that the title of this story was in alphabetical order before, haha! 

 

I definitely think the first kiss with a specific person matters more than an overall first kiss because, let's face it, those are usually rubbish! :P I think Alicia definitely has a lot of boubt about her sexuality, because in addition to the "straight is the default" narrative/myth that exists in society, there is the fundamental maleability of attraction and love that makes these things hard to figure out regardless. 

 

Thanks again!

Name: secretdreamer (Signed) · Date: 27 Mar 2019 02:36 PM · For: Skewed Toward Truth

Renee! Here for YvB, team yellow.

This was adorable. I love three plus one fics, and I think you did a great job with the format; it was easy to spend more time on each of the different kisses and focus on the heart of the story. 

I really, truly felt for Alicia this whole time. I think what I loved the most was how relatable this was.  Each time she kissed a boy, it was enjoyable; it wasn't that it was a horrible experience, it was just... whatever. I think she actually describes one of the kisses like that.  Even with Lee and Oliver, who were her friends and conventionally attractive people, there was no spark.  Sometimes I think it's harder to write romantic scenes without a flame of sorts but you did a great job here.  It was clear that they cared about each other as friends, and it was refreshing that there weren't any hard feelings between them. 

I also loved her friendships with Angelina and Katie. They're both so supportive of her. Angelina is a bit more of the daring one, but that seems true to character, and I think almost every friend group has one.  

And then the last scene with Katie? Adorable.  I'm so glad Alicia has a friend like her, someone who can help her open her eyes and start to accept herself while also being incredibly supportive.  I'm glad she was there when Alicia thought she was broken, because I wanted to hug her but at least Katie was able to.  And that this had a cute, happy ending that Alicia deserves. 

Overall this was an adorable, feel-good one-shot and you did a great job with it! Thanks for sharing with us ♥

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for this lovely review

Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 06 May 2018 11:19 AM · For: Skewed Toward Truth

Okay, but... why didn't I read this any sooner?!?

Renee, you wonderful, brilliant thing, you! <3

This was so lovely! I could sympathize with Alicia so much in this, with the whole How does this kissing/dating/whatever thing works? Is there something broken in me? Why am I supposed to get a boy in the first place? Alicia was tired of being the one who looked anywhere else when someone asked about her first kiss, and prayed they'd forget the question so she didn't have to say not yet out loud. This just spoke to me so much, you don't even have an idea! All the hugs for Alicia!

I loved the progression of the story. I mean, I felt so bad for Alicia as she kept trying to fit into a scheme that didn't suit her, but you wrote it all in such a lovely way, your writing style is always so delightful! Like when she kissed Oliver. I so loved the metaphore of the empty house, as sad as it was. It was so perfect in picturing Alicia's feelings.

And then the closing just made me smile so widely! I love that Katie was there for her and I love that she pushed her in the right direction. Sometimes the truth is just before us but we are so used to what the world expect from us that we don't see there are alternatives... and of course their kiss was just so sweet and magical and I loved it so, so much! And then this: The second time Alicia kissed a girl was even better. This must be the most beautiful closing line I've ever read! (Okay, maybe not the most beautiful, but it was surely one that filled my heart with happiness! I'm just so happy when I read happy endings... :P)

So, to cut this short, I loved this story! It was just so sweet and so lovely and I so like that it ended on such a happy note! And I'm definitely shipping Katie and Alicia now! ;)

So much love, my sweet Renee!

Chiara

Author's Response:

eeeee I love getting reviews on this story. Thank you, sweetie!!

 

I'm thrilled you enjoed the story and YES, PLEASE JOIN ME ON THIS SHIP! <3333

Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 24 Sep 2017 04:45 AM · For: Skewed Toward Truth

Hey Renee,

 

So I really enjoyed this piece and I thought you did a great job work at Alicia's thoughts/feelings during this confusing time for her.

 

I really thought it was cleverly written that you brought out key points in her romantic life to tell the story and explore how she feels about her sexuality. I think the first kiss with Lee is very realistic, like this awkwardness. The way you wrote her thought process as she talks about not having kissed anyone yet that worrying/embarrassing feeling. That's such a natural reaction to the situation. The way you address her reasons for kissing Lee like 'he's a friend, I like him so it's a good idea' like she feels they shouldn't be any reason not to. I thought your writing really showed how Alicia was really confused and naive but she has a really sweet nature too. This kiss kinda feels like a call back to Harry/Cho with the 'wet kissing' (though thank god, Alicia wasn't crying during it!). 

 

The kiss with Oliver, I feel like it's really sad that she thinking 'I could fancy him' so I could be normal. It makes me sad for her that she thinks that being like everyone else defines normal but it's such a genuine reaction like the way you write it so wonderfully done.  It feel very personal which is great like I know you said this was like your come back to writing but it doesn't feel rusty at all! I like the awkward characterisation of Oliver or should I say 'blunt', I adore that about his character so I enjoyed this instant acceptance at no chemistry then swiftly moving on. ha ha.

 

I feel like the 3rd scene is a rather familiar scene, it's such a teenager right of passage. I love that bubbly fun characterisation of Angelina in this scene contrasted against the cooler Katie here. So the final scene is so adorable like I loved all the dialogue within the two girls, this awkward questioning and Katie's concern and *squeee* that kiss. I really adore how you described that kiss 'lit a flame so vibrant that she thought her center would melt.' that is so perfect, just gorgeous imagery there! This is such a cute piece about her self discovery throughout the story the reader is really pulled into Alicia's mind through your writing, I was really rooting for her to find her happy ending (more like new beginning!). Wonder story Renee!

 

- Abbi xo

Author's Response:

Hello Abbi, dear!

 

Thank you so much for this very kind review. It really makes me happy when people review this story!

 

xoxo Renee

Name: LadyL8 (Signed) · Date: 11 Aug 2017 05:55 PM · For: Skewed Toward Truth

Omg. Renee. Why haven't I read this story sooner?! This was so sweet and adorable and amazing. And I absolutely loved it!

 

So calming down a little bit. You said in your request that you're just craving general feedback, and I'm more than happy to give you that. The first thing that comes to mind is that I really love the writing style you have here. The story isn't overfilled with description, but you have such a talent for making it seem like there's a lot more description than it actually is. Or to say it better, you have a talent for describing things amazingly in few words when others would need paragraphs to do the same. And here it really, really helps the story too, because too much description would've ruined the flow of this story and the affect of the repetitive lines. And to me this story is almost like Alicia is describing what happened to us, and with her being so confused as she is, it just wouldn't make sense for there to be long paragraphs of description. So I think your writing style is just perfect here.

 

And I really love the repetitive counting lines (first time Alicia kissed a boy, first time Alicia kissed a girl). It ties the story together neatly (cause with time-jumps the story can sometimes end up being confusing), and also helps show the difference between Alicia's first kiss with a boy and her first kiss with a girl. The reaction to those kisses are so different. With boys she's not feeling anything, with Katie she clearly is. And the counting lines really help show that.

 

I also love how relatable this story is. Alicia is this sweet, innocent, shy and insecure girl, and I think most of us has been there at some point. Her confusion when it comes to love and her just kissing someone because it's what she thinks she's supposed to do.... I mean I can definitely relate to that. And I think most people can relate to feeling like you're behind your friends, especially when you reach my age and higher and all your friends start getting married and having kids. I honestly think everyone feels like that sometimes. So yeah, this story is just super-relatable.

 

And also, you capture her confusion so well. And you know I think confusion is such a difficult emotion to get right too, because when the characters themselves haven't quite worked out who they are, it's obviously difficult to write them too. But you're like an expert at writing complex and complicated characters, like Alicia and Petunia, so I'm not at all surprised you do it so well here too. I love Alicia and I have surprisingly enough (because now I feel like an idiot for not thinking about it sooner) never thought of her and Katie dating before. It makes total sense though, and I'm definitely shipping them now.

 

So I know you asked for some cc too, but to be honest I don't have any. I think the story is amazing, and you could not at all tell that this is your first story in a while. You should be really proud of it. I mean I'm ashamed to say I haven't read a lot of your one-shots, but I honestly think this some of your best writing. So good work! Again, I absolutely loved it! Thank you so much for requesting! :)

Author's Response:

<3 <3 Lotte! It really made me happy when I saw this review!

 

Your comments about the desacription in this are so kind, thank you so much. 

 

Oh my, you are so young. Just wait untill you're my age for the marraige pressure! bahaha

 

"You're an expert at writing complicated characters" --> what a generous thing to say. *blushes* Also SO PLEASED you've boarded this ship!!! 

 

Thank you again for this brilliant review, you're a gem <33

xoxo Renee

 

 

Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 22 Jul 2017 04:33 PM · For: Skewed Toward Truth

I'm baaaack!

 

This story is wonderful! I adore this ship and it's slowly becoming headcanon for me. I really like the slow way this story develops and how you drop little clues throughout - like Katie's panicked glance during truth or dare, how Alicia and Katie spent Valentines day together after Alicia's date with Oliver ended (I know it was platonic at that point, but the way it was set up in context, and talking about other couples afterward, was like a subtle hint :P )

 

You have an incredible talent for writing characters who are sort of figuring themselves out and overcoming insecurities. This story just felt so real and honest. The part where Alicia is wondering if she's broken - while this is heartbreaking to read, I can totally relate to her. You've captured that sense of how society says there's a certain place you're 'supposed to' be at various stages in your life and to not have reached a particular milestone makes you inadequate - it's frustrating of course that that idea exists, as humans are individuals and we don't all live the same life, but it's a pretty universal concept I think, and poor Alicia to be in that position and feeling like she 'had to' kiss a boy or like a boy just because she felt that it was required of her in order for other people to take her seriously. ugh. poor thing. but I thought you captured that really well.

 

I adore her and Katie, though, and I'm so glad things clicked for Alicia.

 

It was cool and vacant, like arriving at an empty house. Nobody home.-- this is such a perfect description.

 

Katie had a set of teacups charmed to never go empty, so the room smelled of Earl Grey and firewood. -- This sounds amazing. Both the refilling tea charm and the smell of the room.

 

Another amazing story! Great work and I have no idea what you're talking about being 'rusty' at writing - no way. This is beautiful writing. :)

Author's Response:

Hello, dear. Thank you so much for the review <3

 

"You have an incredible talent for writing characters who are sort of figuring themselves out and overcoming insecurities. "

^^yeahhhhhh. No idea why that is.... *sarcasm* (Thank you <3)

Societal expectations are the worst, right?

 

Thank you very much for your kind words.

xoxo Renee

Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 20 Jun 2017 08:41 AM · For: Skewed Toward Truth

Hi Renee! I'm here to celebrate you writing something new with a review! 

 

I love Alicia. I love how shy and insecure she is, and I love how quickly you made that come across in the story. The painful awkwardness of her first kiss is perfect, but I think it's important how you've written that Alicia feels like she's behind all of her friends in life, and that kissing boys will bring her up to date with them and make her feel normal. This feels very much like a journey for Alicia to me, to find out who she is. So I love how kissing boys for her is just blah and then kissing Katie has so many sensations and emotions. It's beautiful.

 

I love when the story title came up!

 

I have a few favourite lines. First, this sounds AMAZING:

Katie had a set of teacups charmed to never go empty, so the room smelled of Earl Grey and firewood.     

And then I really loved Alicia's thought here:

Like it was nothing. But kissing wasn't nothing. Kissing was something.    

 

<3

Author's Response:

Thank you so much, B <3

Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 17 Jun 2017 10:21 PM · For: Skewed Toward Truth

HERE FOR THIS

I love both Lee and Oliver, but they are both so blatantly wrong for Alicia (our headcanons or not).

Having a first kiss during a quidditch after party makes me think of Harry and Ginny’s first case in HBP, and though this kiss is quite different, it’s a nice nod to that.

I like the ambiguity you used to describe Alicia’s awkwardness around Lee in the beginning. It’s not totally clear if it’s because she likes him or because she doesn’t, or a mixture. I think that works really well, because the root of those feelings isn’t totally clear to Alicia either.

There is a great simple evocativeness to a lot of your lines, like “She’d just leaned over and done it, no trouble. Like it was nothing. But kissing wasn’t nothing. Kissing was something.” and “prayed they’d forget the question so she didn’t have to say not yet out loud.” These lines work really well because they feel very earnest and genuine.

I’m really glad Alicia ended that kiss when she knew she didn’t like it.

I’m not sure if the timeline of this lines up with My First Date(s), but in my mind the stories are part of the same universe. Not actually the Polyverse, because I don’t think that Oliver has ever considered kissing a girl in his life, but maybe a little bubble universe. Polyverse AU.

“She could have a crush on Oliver” This is so real, kill me now. That wanting to be normal. Wanting to like a boy not for the sake of the boy, but for the sake of liking a boy. Deciding to have feelings that aren’t there. This really gets me.

“It was cool and vacant, like arriving at an empty house. Nobody home. They pulled apart.” WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ISN’T ALL THAT GREAT, IT’S PERFECT

Did Oliver think it was a date or not? His behavior when asking her to go seemed like it, but not during. I’m applying my He’s Super Gay headcanon to this story.

One thing I really like about this is that Alicia doesn’t necessarily spend a lot of time anguishing about her sexuality, but more that the factors that she would anguish about are underlying anyway. It’s very real. Obviously

I enjoy your characterization of Katie. “Always sweet, and kind, and deceptively fierce” is a great description. Gryffinpuff?

I know I said Polyverse Katie doesn’t have partners other than Alicia, but she might test that for one night with Angelina. Those three girls together…. It needs to happen at least once.

Oh, Katie has a secret crush? I would expect the truth or date to focus on Alicia, so that was interesting.

“Someone turned on the wireless and why hadn’t they already been dancing? Dancing was brilliant. The Weird Sisters were brilliant. Other people joined them on the dance floor, and that was brilliant.” That line is brilliant.

All the hugs for everyone who needs them for the end of that section.

Omg the three girls hanging out is so intensely beautiful and nostalgic. How did you make that so magic.

I was surprised with Katie being so bold in “Alicia lifted a finger and traced the outline of Katie’s form.” Or did she mean that in a platonic way? XP It read as incredibly sensual, so I was a bit confused about how sensual the characters both thought it was.

Face touching. How are they still making words. XD

“and oh, god, she had never considered this.” Mic drop.

That ending. The last eight paragraphs. Chills and tears.

I really really love this. And, you, obviously.

Fun fact, the first time I saw the title I accidentally read it as “Skewered By Truth.” Kinda different.

Sam.

Author's Response:

I have put off responding to this review for ages, because I honestly love it so much, i don't know how to do it justice in my response. Thank you so much. You now this story is close to my heart, and that you left a positive review really means a lot. I'm honored you would allow this unverse to coincide with the Polyverse. Honored. 

 

I still don't really now how to thank you, because every single thing you said in this review was exactly what I was hoping people would think about this wtory and GAH.

 

Thank you <3333