Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 19 Feb 2024 02:12 AM · For: Icarus In Mourning

Hi, Laura, 

I'm here to review one of your older stories for the Project Tempus Linea review drive.

 

I read this all very carefully -- it took rather a long time for only 3401 words -- savoring every sentence and image -- so many flowers!  Slowly it became unmistakable that the young man visiting the grave and so consumed by grief was Teddy, but the identity of the girl in the grave was a mystery until I finally resorted to reading the various reviews written by persons cleverer than I, who had known that she was Rose.

 

The three Fates (not muses; that was something different) are neutral, dispassionate observers throughout this endless parade of flowers coming to the grave in the hands of hte heartbroken lover.  A suitable attitude for them to take.  We are born, we live out our lives for weal or woe, and then we die.  Things just are that way.

 

Compared to some of your writing (maybe your later stuff), your use of descriptive words is more restrained, and I actually appreciate that because there is little distraction to just following the moody flow of the narrative.

 

Very nicely done!

 

Vicki

Name: sunshine_locks (Signed) · Date: 28 Sep 2019 04:27 AM · For: Icarus In Mourning

Hi Laura! I’m here for our review swap! Again. (Sorry? I don’t know, I’ve been meaning to read a lot of your works, and I’m taking my chance right now or I’ll never get to it.)

 

This is Teddy right? If he always has a different hair color every time and a different shape? Who but a metamorphagus could do that? And also, is that his parents’ graves he visits regularly? If so, why does he feel the need to change every time he visits? So many questions, so little answers.

 

Who is this family of three that’s visiting? I have an inkling of an idea (now even more so because they’re leaving roses of all things, and that’s always an odd choice as opposed to any other flower) but…

 

These girls that comment on Teddy’s (?) mourning, they kind of remind me of the ones who string the fates. I can’t recall their names right now, but they have that same energy about them, for some reason.

 

Okay, so I’m not completely out of my mind and just interpreting things that aren’t there. There’s a very strong Greek theme in this story.

 

Ahh I couldn’t get in much of my own thoughts in this review, mostly because I was busy reading this wonderful fic but! I find Teddy’s grief and mourning of Rose very palpable – it’s just the sort of hurt that stays in your heart and kind of just hits you like a freight train on some days? And the part about Teddy feeling guilty about being happy (with Vic?) was so so good, especially it’s such a familiar feeling to me. It’s like, you think you can’t be happy because you feel like you have to be sad and angry and grieving for everything around that it feels like a sin to be happy.

 

I think what saddens me the most was the story of the Fates (I finally remembered?), and how they reiterate that Teddy was never meant to be happy… which a deeply sad realization to contend with, because who wants to know that their fate is to be nothing but sad? Knowing this, it also kind of makes sense why Teddy is so guilty about being happy, because it goes against his fate?

 

And Teddy’s death was just so… unfulfilling? (That’s definitely not a slight on you, by the way!) Like just the way his story was written, never having gotten over Rose, never having achieved true happiness, never just felt fulfillment of his life? That’s how you write an unsatisfying death, and also maybe punch your audience in the gut, which you definitely did.

 

You’re writing was absolutely great, as always! Thanks for writing! xx

Name: AbraxanUnicorn (Signed) · Date: 05 May 2017 07:03 AM · For: Icarus In Mourning

Hi Aphoride, BvB has brought me to these shores and I couldn't resist taking a look at this Teddy/Rose story. I don't know why, but was kind of expecting a conventional romance. I should have known better, coming from you!

First of all, your descriptions are deliciously beautiful throughout this piece, as they are in all your stories, and your writing has such an ethereal quality. The delicate way you craft your sentences reminds me a little of the poem by John McCrae "In Flanders Fields", which I absolutely adore. Instead of reviewing this story, can I just bow down and wail in an "I'm not worthy" kind of way, because I'm not sure my review will do this story justice? No? Oh, okay then, but please, someday, teach me your ways?

The beginning of this story with its powerful imagery, (I love the detail of the crow under the angel's wing), immediately draws me in, and I feel as though I'm there in the graveyard at night, following Teddy to Rose's grave. I love how the muses don't need external identification to recognise him. It matters not that he's a metamorphmagus; what's on the inside never alters. My heart has broken for Teddy and Rose, for what may have been and that their love in this world is ever denied. I'm just as devastated for Hugo, even though he's not mentioned by name, because he cannot bring himself to visit his sister's grave. I wonder what happened to Rose? I might read this story again after I've left this review and see if there are any clues as to what happened. (Your stories are amazing like that; each time I read one for a second or third time, I spot something I hadn't noticed before).

I'm torn between sadness and happiness that Teddy moves on through this story; part of me wants him to keep this attachent to Rose forever (even though that's kind of not very healthy, I know, but I hate the thought of her lying unloved in that cold grave). Part of me wants, for him, to heal and move on with his life. And he does - sort of - but then everything comes crashing down all around with Teddy's gradual, painful demise. His death comes as a bit of a relief at the end. Closure, if you like.

Well, wow. Your words blew me away once again. This was another fantastic story. You are SUCH an incredibly gifted writer.

Brax X

Author's Response:

Hey there, Brax, thank you so much for dropping by! :) 

 

Ahahaha, yeah, I don't really write conventional romance as such? Though I write a surprising amount of romance despite that :P 

 

Thank you so so much! I'm so glad you liked it - this was one of the first stories I wrote where I sort of felt like I'd got the balance a bit better between description and action, so that it wasn't purple prose-ish any more, so it's still a bit shaky at points (I've definitely got better, I think), but it's a story I'm still a bit proud of because of that. Omg omg of course you can't bow down! As though you're not a good writer yourself? Pshhh don't be silly - and you're being far, far too nice to me, yk? 

 

I absolutely love setting scenes, haha, and starting stories and chapters with description (so much so it's something I'm trying not to always end up doing, haha, because then it's just predictable), so I'm so happy it worked for you. It was so fun to write: there's something so wonderfully atmospheric and fascinating about writing a story set in a graveyard, with all of the stones and the trees and flowers and the still, quiet kind of air. Yeah, I'm so glad you picked up on that - I loved writing Teddy shifting appearance and I wanted it to seem a bit like the muses don't just see what a person looks like: that they have some other, better, deeper way of identifying someone. Honestly, I had a vague idea in my head of an illness and Rose dying young from something, but I'm not really sure - it didn't seem too important writing the story, yk (and, also, it's been a while, I might have just forgotten :P). 

 

Yeah, it's a very bittersweet thing, I think, someone moving on from someone they've loved who isn't there any more and finding happiness - or something like it - with someone else. One of the things I really didn't want to do with it was make it seem like Teddy had sort of settled or that Victoire was cruel or had snapped him up too quick without giving him time to grieve, yk, because that's a bit of a trope I don't like, and a bit of a cruel idea as well. But yeah, he can't be happy for long - if he ever was happy in this story, poor boy - and I'd definitely agree with you that it's a bit of a relief for him: kind of an acceptance of it, in the end, even if it is super harsh then for Victoire who's left alone in Teddy's position herself (and so the story continues :P). 

 

Thank you so so much for the wonderful review - you're so incredibly kind and sweet and this was such a lovely thing to get :) 

 

Laura xx

Name: dreamgazer220 (Signed) · Date: 13 Feb 2017 04:54 PM · For: Icarus In Mourning

Aph! Here with your review for our swap and I'm so sorry about the delay ♥

Okay so somehow I haven't read this before (is it newish?) but I absolutely loved it.  Your writing is, as always, so beautiful and it does always feel like I'm reading something (I enjoy) in English class. :) And I've never read Teddy/Rose before, and I'm kind of curious to know how they came about to be, but it's refreshing to see Teddy with someone other than Victoire, even if it's like this.

I love the style you wrote this in and the incorporation of the three muses.  And I loved that it was structured around Teddy's visits to the graveyard, and how even without naming names, I knew who you were talking about the moment you mentioned him coming in different shapes and forms, something I can totally see Teddy doing. :P 

But poor Teddy. You wrote his grief so well and even though we don't know how it happened, it's clear that he loved Rose and that it was tearing him apart. They were so close in life and I just love the idea of him visiting her constantly at her grave and talking to her (because I'm tragic and I love angst).

I also loved how you measured time - from the ticking of the church bell in the beginning to the changing of the seasons, to the flowers whilting, everything. It was just so beautiful.

This piece, as your writing always is, was a pleasure to read. I can't imagine how Teddy must be feeling, but I loved that you incorporated the guilt he felt about being happy, even after she's gone.  And for one of the sisters to curse him (I think that's what happened, at least?) felt very much like something that belonged in Greek mythology.

Thanks for the swap!
♥Jill

Author's Response:

Hey there, Jill - thank you so much for stopping by! :) 

 

Ahhh so this is actually a really old story, haha, from way back when on the Other Site. It was sort of the first story where I finally actually got the balance somewhat right between description and action, so it's one which has a bit of wistfulness for me, yk? The Teddy/Rose element was for UnluckyStar, who this was a gift for, because she loved Teddy'Rose and I thought I should give it a go for her, even if Next Gen isn't really (and definitely wasn't when I wrote this) my kind of thing :P 

 

Thank you! :D It was a bit of a weird thing tbh, but it was one of those things which I only looked back at once I'd written it and thought that maybe it might come across a little strange - a slightly harsh juxtaposition between the Next Gen, real world and the muses in the background with their spinning and cutting, etc. I really loved getting to write Teddy changing form, actually? It was super fun because I could pick things which (hopefully) sort of showed emotion in a different way, and just go a bit more wild with it :P

 

I did love writing Teddy, even if he does get a pretty rubbish lot in this: losing the girl he loves and then sort of falling in love again, but never quite falling out of love with Rose - because she's dead - and struggling so much with it all. It was a really fun angsty thing to write, with all of the visits and the flowers he leaves on the grave and everything. 

 

Ahh thank you! :) Yeah, I don't tend to note time as it passes in terms of days, weeks, months, years - I'm really bad at that and it often just feel stilted when I do it :P So I tend to avoid it and just use other things for a general passing-of-time-type thing, which is a lot more vague but a lot easier for me to write, so I'm so glad it worked for you! And I love writing flowers, haha, and landscapes, so it came naturally to me in that sense :) 

 

Thank you thank you! It was so much fun to write this (even if it was totally nerve-wracking because it was the first gift story I ever wrote and so it had to be right and I was so so nervous about it all, yk) and explore something a bit different to what I normally stick to. The guilt and the angst were so interesting to write, even if they weren't necessarily fun as such :P, so I'm so glad you liked it and thought it worked and was, maybe, hopefully, interesting as well. 

 

Thank you so so much for the lovely review! :) 

 

Laura xx

Name: lovegood27 (Anonymous) · Date: 12 Jan 2017 12:20 PM · For: Icarus In Mourning

Hi, I'm here for BvB!

I think this was a very beautiful one-shot. From the story description, I would guess the girl was Rose and the young man was Teddy. I loved how he brought flowers to the grave every week, that was very sweet. I also really liked how you added in the three Muses, it gave the story a unique and interesting touch. I was very sad at the end when Teddy died, but I think it was an appropriate ending to the story.

This was a great story overall, and I really enjoyed it!

 

 

 

Author's Response:

Hi there - thank you so much for stopping by! :) 

 

Ahhh thank you - it's a very old one-shot, actually, as it happens. It's something I wrote as a present for a friend a few years ago. She loved Teddy/Rose and I really wanted to try my hand at it, and this was the result. I didn't originally intend to weave in the Fates, or anything like that, but it happened and it seemed to fit so I kept it, even though I wasn't sure if it really worked, yk? So I'm so glad you know that you think it does work. It was nice to expand the story beyond just the central characters, and it was an interesting challenge to write a story primarily about two people, with one of them dead, and from the point of view of three others who are just watching from the sidelines - very literally. Yeah, I always knew it was going to be any angsty story (I'm not really capable of writing fluff, haha) so Teddy was never going to get a good ending from this. 

 

I'm so glad you liked the story - it's something I keep up on here for posterity and as a kind of mark of how far I've come - as a story, this was really something of a turning point for me, where I sort of found something like a style and a way of writing which worked for me, so I'm always so happy to hear that other people like it. 

 

Thank you for the review! :) 

 

Aph xx