FanficTalk Archive
Unleash Your Fandom
TWYFORD IS SO, SO KIND, AND I JUST GOT TO READ A WHOLE CHAPTER OF HIS ACTS OF KINDNESS TOWARDS MERLIN. I WAS ACTUALLY SO DELIRIOUSLY HAPPY THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE THING, AND I JUST. COULD NOT STOP SMILING. I FELT SO MANY HAPPY, HAPPY FEELINGS FLUTTER AROUND IN MY STOMACH THAT OUR DARLING, EAGER MERLIN IS FINALLY GETTING (SOME SORT OF) FAIR TREATMENT. THANK THE HEAVENS FOR TWYFORD.
I was very tempted to continue with the whole review in all caps, just because I'm that happy and excited, but I figured it would probably scare you a bit to see a giant, screaming review, so I backed off a bit, haha.
Ever since Twyford was introduced, I knew I liked him. I'm thankful to him for treating Merlin with kindness, even with his wife and two daughters remaining at home for him to worry about. So at the start of this chapter, when Arthur successfully managed to convince Twyford to let Merlin be taken care of, I was so delighted that Twyford turned out to be as lovely as I thought he'd be.
(Merlin's spirit and gumption during his scenes with Aram were hilarious. I actually laughed out loud at this: "Merlin's glare would have withered flowers if there were any growing in the four inches of snow that now covered the ground." Why is Merlin so great?)
And when Twyford sat down with Merlin to help him warm up by the fire, I just got this mist of happy tears in my eyes. There's probably something wrong with me. (Am I being too emotional that Merlin is being treated decently? Haha.) Seeing Twyford actually ask for Merlin's name was so great too.
AND STUPIDLY-BASIL (omg Merlin's nicknames are the best) GOT KICKED OFF, YES. YES YES YES. *dances around happily*
So this chapter made me so emotional (clearly lol) but in a very good way, and my spirits feel so buoyed by this. I absolutely love it when stories have scenes that just show beautiful acts of pure, selfless kindness like this. It's just really uplifting and wonderful to read. I also think that you set this whole chapter up really well; I wouldn't have felt nearly as touched if you hadn't written Merlin's abuse so well before. Kudos. <3
I've noticed that some of the knights in this camp actually have a decent moral code. Sure, they kidnapped and enslaved a few people, but there's still a little bit of honor, somewhere. Mostly I think I'm just talking about Sir Einar and the redheaded guard that helped Merlin out. Gerard can go rot in a ditch. (Did Sir Einar cut his hands off? His promise to Arthur that Merlin wouldn't be beaten by Gerard again sounded weirdly ominous.)
I LOVED THIS LINE SO MUCH. "Merlin was flailing limbs and goofy smiles, corners taken too fast and laundry all over the floor, pacing and bouncing and shifting from foot to foot." IT'S THE MOST PERFECT DESCRIPTION OF MERLIN, AND IT'S ALSO INCREDIBLY TOUCHING GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES. I FELT SO MANY FEELINGS WHILE READING THAT LINE. IT'S SO GOOD.
Thank goodness that Sir Einar allowed Arthur to take care of Merlin. His infection, his beating, every wound he's received in the past few days, they were all beginning to worry me. I don't think that Arthur cleaning Merlin's wounds with the dirty water provided to him will save Merlin, exactly, but I'm just so relieved that Merlin got a small comfort through all of this. (Though it must have been painful to endure the washing of his bruised and bloodied body.)
I just want Merlin to live a beautiful and wonderful life, with no worries. He deserves it so much.
Your descriptions of Merlin's wounds were so detailed, I could picture it easily in my head. I really appreciate that; you don't shy away from really making it hit home exactly how bad things are for Merlin. It gives a much greater impact, in my opinion, and you also manage to keep it from being an unnecessary grimdark sort of detail. So really, really great job. :D
Arthur sounded so defeated in the end. I also want to give him warm hugs and force everyone to treat him well. I hope he'll be okay.
I don't think I need to tell you anymore how much I absolutely love this, haha. It's just such a phenomenally written story. I'm so grateful that you posted in my review thread. <3
~Eva
Well, that was just a shot straight through my heart. At the beginning of the chapter, I'd been feeling bolstered and fairly optimistic; Arthur had begun to annoy Sir Einar again, and even though it was shut down pretty quickly, he still seemed to have that rebellious mood going on. So I was feeling quite happy at that point.
But then we switched over to Merlin's point of view, and the poor, poor young man is suffering so much. I just sat here, feeling absolutely horrible for him. And that was just when he was trying hard to walk without falling over anything.
It got so much worse when I reached the last section of this chapter. Merlin woke up to being beaten by that one guard who had lost his brother. I think it feels particularly horrible because the guard knows he can't take out his drunken anger on Arthur, so he shifts the blame over to Merlin, which is awful. It's such a testament to Merlin's will that he's even able to attempt resisting being beaten up like this.
And the end. Omg the end. What's happening to Merlin? Will he be okay? Please don't let it be anything worse than what's already happened to him, or I might actually cry. I'm actually seriously panicked now because the last bit says, "he gave up," and that is a really, really bad sign. Because Merlin's spent the last ten chapters stubbornly not giving up, and now the fear and the beating has taken its toll.
I'M SO SAD.
(Great chapter by the way, haha. <3)
I had a physics lab due at midnight tonight, and so I decided to reward myself at the end of it with a chapter from this story, hehe. (Just to ease the absolute misery of physics a little bit.) And what a fantastic reward it was. I should reward myself with this story more often.
This chapter was just absolutely wonderful. (But then again, when are your chapters ever not wonderful?) Merlin and Arthur love each other and take care of each other so, so much omg. It's so heartwarming to see a friendship like theirs being featured so prominently in a story.
Every time Merlin felt relieved that he was able to see Arthur and check up on him, my heart swelled. Every time Merlin felt genuine happiness at seeing his prince being generally well taken care of, my heart swelled some more. And when Merlin made that grim promise to himself that, no matter what consequences it gave him, he would risk everything to get Arthur out, my heart was fit to burst. I am so, so proud of Merlin for being so strong in such horrible conditions.
You've written such a marvelous character, I'm in love.
At the end, too. I think seeing Merlin through Arthur's eyes really hit home exactly how inhumane Merlin's conditions are. It was so gut-wrenching to repeatedly see Merlin attempt to take care of Arthur while he himself was in such an unwell condition. Each time Arthur had to stop Merlin, I felt like crying. NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT MERLIN LOOKED SO HAPPY WHEN HE GAVE ARTHUR THE WARM ROCK AND BUNDLE. HOW CAN ANYONE BE SO PURE AND KINDHEARTED AND GENTLE AND SELFLESS?? GOSH.
I'm so sorry if this review wasn't coherent. I'm so tired that I can't even tell if I'm being understandable or not, haha.
But I lovd, love love this chapter. Omg. I love it. <3
This was such a great chapter, omg, I read it so eagerly, and now I have that satisfied feeling you get after a really amazing part of a story.
I just wanted to say, your Merlin is absolutely adorable and so, so genuine and lovable. All throughout the chapter, I just wanted to give him a huge hug, pat him on the back, and tell him that everything will be okay. (But I have no guarantee of that, so maybe I shouldn't lie to him.) Anyway, I really enjoy reading Merlin's thoughts, because it shows how incredibly honest he is.
I thought Merlin's fears of getting caught with magic were so saddening, especially the guilt he feels for continuing to hide it even after he and Arthur got attacked. I think people always somehow come up with ways to feel guilty about situations that they really couldn't have done much in. I wish that I could tell Merlin that, because he's just been through so much, and he shouldn't be piling more emotional burden on himself. :(
When he was naming his guards, though, I couldn't help but smile. Merlin's name for "Stupidly-Handsome" is just so freaking cute. The way he called him (with quiet sarcasm) his "favorite new friend" and the "overly kind and gentle chap" is such a Merlin thing to do, with this subtly indignant manner of thought. And every time Stupidly-Handsome's name showed up in the chapter after that, I just had to smile a bit at Merlin's name-picking.
So the majority of this chapter detailed the nauseatingly horrific treatment that Merlin is getting. I hate seeing Merlin suffer through so many horrible things, from being forced to serve the guards, to being kicked around until he's bloodied and bruised, to being distraught at the fact that he'll never see his family again... There are so many things I just want to protect him from, poor boy. But he's so strong. I was ready to leap out of my seat and cheer for him, when he made that promise to himself, Arthur, and his loved ones that he would continue fighting. GO MERLIN. YOU CAN DO IT. I HAVE SO MUCH FAITH IN YOU. <3
When his treatment got even worse, though, I started panicking a lot. How much maltreatment can someone endure before they start weakening to the irreparable point? Your descriptions were so detailed and well-selected that his pain came through so clearly. Every bruise he had, every beating he took, every icy numbing he forced himself to get through was just so well depicted. I really loved reading the way you wrote about it, even if the content matter itself was really sad.
It's really interesting seeing everything from Merlin's point of view, though. I really thought the ending scene was a great place to end the chapter, especially after all the gloomy events that just occurred. Merlin's once again hopeful, and his love for his best friend is keeping him happy and motivated, and his spirit seems to have been revitalized, as well. I'm just really happy for him.
~Eva
I had so many questions at the end of the last chapter, and you answered them so logically and methodically in this one! I couldn't be happier. You covered all your bases regarding what Merlin is there for, and why he hasn't used his magic to help him escape, and how he's unable to speak. I'm so thankful that you answered all of that (some of which were questions I didn't even realize I had), since it really explains a lot.
I'm really concerned for both Merlin and Arthur (more so Merlin, because he seems more disposable than Arthur right now). Being rounded up as a slave, with his magic and voice binded, must be abolutely awful. It's also frightening how the collar (super brilliant explanation, by the way) absorbs the magic he uses and becomes stronger as a result.
When Merlin had that sudden bit of hope, that he was different from sorcerers and that perhaps he could possibly circumvent the rules explained to him, I was so excited. I was cheering him on, hoping for the best...but nope. No, instead my hopes for him were smashed to the ground. No wonder Merlin feels so hopeless right now. I'm feeling really hopeless for him, too. (I have used the word "hope" three times too many in the last few sentences.) I can't see any way he and Arthur are going to get out of this place in one piece. Pleaaase let the two of them be okay. They're too precious for this. :(
I really love this. <3
~Eva
Before I even got to the actual chapter, I was already feeling so emotional just from your quote. Piglet and Pooh, though I never knew much about them as a kid (and I still don't know anything about them now, haha), immediately give off this sense of innocence and cuteness and everything that makes up adorable children. Placing that in context of this story just makes me feel lots of things. Why am I talking so much about your quote, I don't know, but I think you picked the perfect quote for this chapter.
NOW ONTO THE CHAPTER. I AM SO HAPPY. SO, SO HAPPY. AT FIRST WHEN ARTHUR FIRST BELIEVES THAT MERLIN'S DEAD, I WAS THINKING THAT THERE'S A CHANCE MERLIN'S ALIVE, BUT THEN BECAUSE ARTHUR WAS GRIEVING, THEN I STARTED GRIEVING. BUT MERLIN'S ALIVE! CAN YOU TELL I'M HAPPY. I'M SO HAPPY. :D
I've never been happier to discover a character is still alive. Oh my goodness, it's like a huge weight has been taken off my shoulders. And the gentle way that Merlin handled Arthur, too! And the details that Arthur noticed when Merlin straightened him up a bit! THEY ARE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS, IT MAKES MY HEART SING, I LOVE IT.
When Arthur apologized to Merlin, without any preamble or bluffing, just honesty, I felt really touched. It was a really touching scene to read, and I'm just. so happy. I love Arthur and Merlin's friendship in this story, and how Merlin so casually initiates contact with Arthur. (I think that's something that guy friendships should all be depicted as having.) The flailing hug that Merlin gives Arthur at the end was just so cute and so quintessentially Merlin that I had to smile. <3
Thank goodness I decided to review one more chapter before I went to bed, haha! Otherwise I would've gone to bed all sad and stuff, instead of super joyful like I am now.
But there's still a problem, clearly. Merlin's complete silence has me really, really worried. If he were merely gagged, then sound would still come through, even if muffled and unclear. Maybe he was threatened to keep his mouth shut? Maybe someone who knows magic cast something on him to silence him? But my mind keeps going to probably the worse case scenario, which is that they cut his tongue off. Please please please don't let that be the case.
I loved this chapter so much omg. What a great read to end my day on. <3
~Eva
Every sentence of Arthur's sorrow was like a stab to the heart. I thought last chapter's furious grief was like a punch to the gut, but this chapter's quiet grief is like a punch to the soul. I'm so sad right now, after reading all of Arthur's reflections about himself and Merlin. Every time he thought of something that suddenly reminded him of Merlin, I felt like crying. :(
What I thought was particularly heartbreaking was Arthur's thoughts on how Merlin must have felt right before he died. He did feel a lot of that guilt that I talked about in my last review, and somehow, it felt worse actually seeing it happen in front of my eyes. Poor Arthur. He messed up when he falsely accused Merlin of thievery, but this isn't a justified punishment for it. He doesn't deserve to feel this level of guilt and shame and self-loathing.
When he wrapped his pride around himself like a shield, my heart broke. It sounds as though he's suddenly lost a lot of confidence and sense of self-worth, and that scares me.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME AND MY EMOTIONS AHHH.
~Eva
Author's Response:I started responding to your reviews the other night, but they are such wonderful reviews I found myself just reading them all again instead of actually responding. Oops. I sense this is going to be an ongoing problem so I might be a tad slow getting back to you on all of these, but it also means I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!
Because seriously, this review just makes my heart explode. That you felt Arthur's grief so strongly, and mourned along with him. That you believed for a while that Merlin really was dead. That you were so upset that he never appologized, just like Arthur was himself in the chapter. It's such great compliments and I just don't even really know what to say to them, other than thank you! You made my day, which sounds horrible to say about such sad emotions, but still.
Arthur isn't vunerable very often, so I was worried to write him like that, but I also wanted to show that this hit him very hard, harder than even he thought Merlin's death would. And that sentence was the culmination of it, which you picked out! Don't worry though, he's Arthur. He will come back.
NO, MERLIN CAN'T BE DEAD. WHO EVEN IS ARTHUR WITHOUT A MERLIN BESIDE HIM. I'm hoping that the Food Delivery Guy is lying as a sort of revenge for Arthur killing his brother (and also biting on his fingers), and that Merlin is safe and sound somewhere else in the camp. But I'm betting that the best-case scenario is that Merlin is pretty beat up somewhere, even if he's not dead. :(
Arthur kept on thinking about Merlin throughout this chapter, which made everything at the end feel so much worse. I can't even begin to imagine Arthur's emotions right now, especially since he never actually got the chance to apologize to Merlin. That sort of guilt is probably one of the worst kinds, especially on top of Food Delivery Guy's scathing statement that Merlin would probably still be alive if Arthur hadn't been so stubborn.
I hope that Arthur stays strong throughout this, and that his spirit isn't weakened at all. Fingers crossed for everyone involved. Please let Merlin be one hundred percent okay. :(
(I just wanted to comment that you wrote Arthur's rage and grief so believably. I was sitting here, becoming furious and then suddenly mourning, right along with him. I'm super impressed by your ability to write emotions, I love it!)
~Eva
Author's Response:So, this has to be like the most perfect review - ever. Seriously, I don't know how it gets better than this. First, my words made you emotional enough I got all caps from you. Then you gave my bad guy a new name, which I love. I wish *I* had thought of Food Delivery Guy! It's brilliant! AND I have you questioning my plot...is he dead or isn't he. It's the best, I tell you!
You also seem to have got a read on my style already, even three chapters in, given that you know me well enough to understand that Merlin's probably pretty beat up if he's not dead. Should I be worried or flattered, that I'm that obvious and that mean? hehehe
Thank you! I'm so happy the chapter made you feel strong things, and that you are willing Arthur to keep hope alive! And thank you so much for such wonderful flattery and comments! (hug)
I LOVE JANE AUSTEN WITH ALL MY HEART. I love her so much that if you asked me to choose between her and, say, Harry Potter, it'll be a long and difficult inner battle. Anyway. The quote that you picked at the begin really resonated with me, haha. It also fit this particular chapter really well.
Once again (and I'm so sorry if you're tired of hearing this already), I must compliment your characterization abilities. For instance, how stubborn Arthur is. Even when he's panicking at the thought of losing his good friend, even when he's surrounded by fifteen well-trained men, even when there is so much to lose from resisting...he resists anyway. Arthur is a man that Death will have to drag kicking and screaming down to the Underworld, and I love that you managed to write that characteristic into this scene.
Merlin, too! He's played by one of the most adorable actors in the world. (Okay, I swear, in the middle of typing this sentence, I suddenly felt inspiration to search up videos of Colin Morgan and Bradley James and they are such freaking adorable friends I can't get over it.) And so sometimes I mistakenly think that Merlin is just a clumsy, awkward, bumbling servant who can do magic (sometimes he's like that, but not always), but he's really quite brave when he needs to be. And you captured that really well.
I just hope that both of them get out of this situation safely. I'm looking forward to the character growth so much though!
Author's Response:LOL. Glad I could give you great amounts of love with the quote then!
Never appologize for giving compliments! I love your reviews! Just know, I might run out of ways to respond to all the gushing other than....awwwwwww *melts into puddle of happy goo....*
I LOVE how you phrase that - Arthur is a man that Death will have to drag kicking and screaming... It's SO true! (And how I wish it could have stayed true always, but that's a cry fest for another day.) He's so stubborn again. That's one of the reasons we love him though, because if he gets it into his head he's gonna protect someone, there's not much that will stop him.
And yes, Merlin! (I totally understand the distraction - I won't tell you how many hours are added to my writing because I get distracted by pictures of Colin and Bradley on pinterest. It's...embarassing.) Merlin IS clumsly and awkward and bumbling, and that's also why we love him. But it makes me love him even more to know that he can also e brave and think fast and very, very loyal.
Thanks again! I so love it when your reviews pop up! And I'm so honored that you are still reading! Also, thanks for the nomination vote for the FROGS! I just...gah! Thanks!
I think I spent so much time last chapter flailing about how much I loved your characterization that I completely forgot to discuss everything else I loved. So, here goes. Your writing style is perfect for the world of Merlin; it sounds regal and formal, yet it's also imbued with the personality of the characters. There's always this perfect balance of irony and seriousness, and I really, really enjoy reading that type of writing.
To be able to hear the difference in voice between Merlin and Arthur (here I'm going on about characterization again, whoops) is honestly a phenomenal experience as a reader. It makes my job so easy when you write your characters so well, where I can tell who's thinking what without even needing to look at the names. Even the writing style shifts slightly between the characters. I'm not sure if you've noticed this, but Merlin's sections are generally filled with more concern, with shorter sentences and more common speech. Meanwhile, Arthur sounds like a prince, like an honest-to-goodness prince. (Seeing his inner attempts at apologizing was simultaneously amusing and somewhat pitiful.)
Okay, and that ending. That last line. I was completely not expecting that. I was expecting a bumbling apology from Arthur masked in a sort of embarrassed haughtiness. I was expecting Merlin to defend himself one last time before Arthur surprised him with a sudden one-eighty. I was definitely not expecting Merlin to be taken hostage. (Was it that suspicious messenger guy? I bet it was that suspicious messenger guy.)
This is so much fun to read omg. I love this so, so much. <3
Author's Response:I will never say no to your flailing. In fact, it makes me really happy. So flail away!
And gah, I'm so amazed by your gushing! Such lovely things you just said. I'm floating on happiness!
And I actually had to go back and look at these chapters again. I had no idea there were differences in my writing style between the two povs. In their thoughts and speech, yes, I was trying to put those in, but in just the general writing? Wow. It's cool that you see that! And I wish I could take concious credit for it!
Hehehehe. Glad you liked my little cliff hanger there. This story is a slow moving, exploriation of friendship and how two people help each other through some really awful times. I don't get many oportunities for those cliffies, so I had to make use of that one.
Thanks so much! Your reviews make me smile like a crazy person!
THIS IS SO IN CHARACTER THAT MY INSIDES ARE TAP-DANCING WITH JOY AND I'VE ONLY WATCHED THE FIRST FEW EPISODES BUT I STILL KNOW THAT THIS IS SO IN CHARACTER. I had my worries that the details of this story were going to go right over my head, but so far, I'm loving it. I can already tell that it's going to be incredibly written, with the characters being well defined and rounded out.
As a first chapter, this was a really great point in the story to start off with. Putting Merlin and Arthur's indignant inner turmoil directly next to each other made for a perfect moment of irony. I found myself thinking, "Arthur, you are a thickheaded, stubborn lump of oatmeal, as well as an idiot." (I wonder exactly how embarrassed and ashamed he must have been to discover his pin, hahaha.)
This is making me want to go and watch Merlin properly now. (But life might not make room for Merlin. Which is so sad. I need more hours in the day.) If you were worried about your story being boring, have no fear! I enjoyed the first chapter so much that I wanted to tell you as soon as possible (even though I should really, really being going to sleep, lol). Thank you for requesting from me! I'm definitely going to be reading more of this and reviewing as many chapters as I can. Break is over for me, though, so I might not be as quick as I'd like.
BUT I LOVE THIS. AND NOW I WILL HAVE TO RESIST THE URGE TO WATCH MERLIN.
~Eva
Author's Response:I have never been told I made someone's insides tap-dance with joy. This is a most awesome compliment and I love you for it! Thank you ! And I'm so happy you think it's in character. I worried so much that it wouldn't be, given this is my first foray into Merlin fanfiction and these guys are SO awesome, I wouldn't want to ruin them somehow. Your words make me so happy!
Arthur is a thick-headed stubborn lump of oatmeal. I believe Merlin would be VERY proud of that insult! He'd probably want to use it! And yes, it's so true. Arthur is so stubborn - but that's part of why we love him.
Anytime I hear I've inspired people to want to watch/re-watch Merlin I feel a little bit of happy glow. That's the ultimate compliment. And who WOULDN'T want to watch these two amazing characters (and actors?) But I also understand that not having time for things. Why can't we have 5 hours more in the day, purely dedicated to the things that make us happy? It would be so nice.
Thank you so much! This is so amazing, and I can't believe you want to keep reading more. You rock!
Until I read the subtitle of this chapter, I thought you would give them a chance to run away together, and you will, please?
After doing short-lived lighter task as a cook, Merlin was forced to face his fate, his prince Arthur would be sent to the citadel, when Merlin might be sent to the mine as the other slaves. It was lucky for him when Sir Einar let him go to Arthur.
I really love the moment when Merlin came in the room where Arthur had been irritated feeling he was utterly useless. The more we read, the more we recognize how Arthur missed Merlin. You spared a lot of space in mentioning their friendship there, I love it. I like his silent mocking question, “deign to eat”.
All descriptions, the process how Merlin helped Arthur finish his cleaning and shaving, is so moving and beautiful as we know they have to say good-bye each other later. Oh, no, Merlin tried suicide…
“Small, mountainous country...strange, mysterious king..."We're in the kingdom of Tharennor." A penny dropped, that’s why they tried to say a white lie, "a magical creature" to hide the real name of their kingdom.
There are lots of spots by which I was moved, among them this is great, Jill : Wordlessly he nodded, allowing the crown to be placed carefully on his neatly combed hair, realizing something very profound. He might be a mockery to every soldier, every noble, every person in this city they would be entering, but to Merlin he was still his prince.
Oh, the last sentences are so sorrowfully beautiful.
K
Author's Response:You will just have to keep reading to find out if they get to escape together.
Yes, it was a nice, nice gift from Sir Einar to give them one last night to share their friendship. They both needed it. And yes, Arthur needs Merlin - even if he doesn't always admit it. But they are friends as well as master and servant, and it was so nice to get to explore that in this chapter.
You felt the emotion I was trying to create with this chapter, that impending goodbye and how Merlin is trying to say without any words that he values Arthur.
I don't know if Merlin tried it - but I think he thought about it for a moment, wondering if it would be better than the fate awaiting him in the mines.
So glad you felt the emotions here! Thank you so much for your compliments!
From the start, the mood of this chapter is very dark. Merlin was full of fear that he would be sent to the mine and forced to work there separated from his prince, Arthur.
Another slaves who were larger than him were added, which made this chapter darker and heavier to read through.
And that Arthur’s nightmare, which made us avert our eyes, we don’t want Merlin’s suffering anymore. We are eager to see his activity, full powerful magic and revenge, Jill!
Oh, but, Jill, you wrote big magic instead of Merlin’s. Not only Aram, but Soldier Amar used magic! Not a few Merlin’s kin had been there! The mountain beast! Did that creature work for Sir Einar? Terrific! Wait, I’m confused, is Soldier Amar a healer Aram?
So the spot Prince Arthur blindfolded stepped in must have been buried by an avalanche, so Sir Einar let Aram protect Arthur? A thrilling moment!
K
Author's Response:Yes, this chapter was very dark. Merlin's fears are real for him, and he can't share them with anyone, and he can't do anything to stop them from happening. He's so stuck...and he's terrified, but trying to be brave.
Arthur's scared as well, though he's doing a better job of hiding it. Still, the dream was proof that he's worried, it's just coming out in different ways.
Now, true confession. Soldier Amar is supposed to be Aram. My fingers mixed up the letters when typing. I think I went in and fixed it all now, but sorry for the confusion! And a little hint - the mountain beast is actually an avalanche, not really a beast. And everyone is safe from it, it was just used to block the pass so there's no chance of escaping for a while now.
Thank, goodness, you prepared for this. Their field medic, Aram. The red-haired man is really a nice guy who gave them a helping hand.
When Twyford brought Merlin in Aram’s place, I wished Aram could remove the metal neck-cuff as well. Agh! My guess is right! Aram Knows Magic! And yay! Aram did magic! Though you haven’t set Merlin free for his magic, I really enjoyed the scene how Aram tried curing Merlin’s wound on his leg. Oh… “he'd probably placed the collar on Merlin himself as it would need magic to activate the spells set into it!” It was Aram who let Merlin not to use his magic. I wish Aram will change his mind and let Merlin free. Though he is very different from Gaius, I might like Aram, his thinking way.
And my guess turned right again. Magic, Aram’s magic prevented Sir Leon and the other Arthur’s men from finding them!
Honestly, I wished Twyford would remove the metal neck band as well when he let Merlin’s wrists free. Twyford is a good guy. I like him. It was good for Merling who could get a woolen blanket, a stick of jerky and be free from Basil’s cruel treatment.
K
Author's Response:Thanks! I really didn't want Merlin to end up dead, so I had to find someone to help cure him. And yes, Twyford is a nice guy.
Aram did help him, and did cure him, but he's not gonna let him go. Sorry. But I'm glad you like his character.
And yes, he's the one that's stopped anyone from finding them and following them. So there is a reason they haven't been found.
Twyford would probably take it off and let them escape if he coudln't, but he really can't take the collar off. He helped the best he could, however.
“why there had been no rescue”
Yeah, yeah, that’s right. Arthur had a strong army, his loyal men. Where did they go? Why couldn’t they find him and Merlin? I suspect something evil, a powerful malicious warlock might have been behind them.
It was a brief peaceful moment when Sir Einar and a red-haired man placed Merlin near Arthur and the prince could care of him. The readers feel the same as Arthur when we spot, " a fresh batch of tears cut trails through the already moist grime on Merlin's face”.
I’m relieved to know at least Merlin can rest on the bed before walking again in the morning.
Merlin must have felt very thankful for Arthur’s care of him. You described how prince Arthur endured not showing his rage to Merlin very well.
Oh yes, Gaius! Jill, are you planning to let him appear later? And Gwen! I miss her, too.
It was the first time for Arthur to care and try comforting the other, it was a good chance to learn soothing the others not throwing rant as a future king.
Yes, you wrote the right feeling I had at first in the middle, “a little normalcy had been returned. They were Arthur and Merlin again - master and servant, and best friends”.
I agree with the concept of real friendship, Jill. Real relationship should be the equality, they can say what they think, each opinion honestly.
Oh, it’s unexpected but interesting you set Uther’s stance against Arthur’s at this timing.
We, readers strongly wish Arthur’s will, “Somehow, I will get us out of this colossal mess." comes true. But how?
K
Author's Response:Well, I do explain why in a later chapter. But the honest truth of it is, because then this story would be very short. LOL. But don't worry, they are around. They just don't know where Arthur is.
Yes, I wanted that brief, peaceful moment - for Arthur and Merlin to get a little time together, even if Merlin is very hurt. Merlin needed it, very much.
He did feel very thankful for Arthur's care, even if he couldn't say it.
Gaius will not show up in this story until much, much later. Neither will Gwen. I miss them both as well, but this story is about Arthur and Merlin being isolated from everyone else and having to survive with only each other. So, they can't come for a while.
Arthur did good with his comforting, didn't he.
Glad you feel for my characters! Thanks for always reviewing!
I hope not the first lines, "Death twitches in my ear;‘Live,' he says...‘I'm coming.
- Virgil" implies Merlin’s fate in this story.
But my wish doesn’t come true… I know this happening.
You described Arthur’s state of mind, inner rage and his posture very beautifully.
It’s sad to know slavery was daily occurrence and Arthur’s kingdom was its exception.
All descriptions about the travelers passing by are very impressive.
The read-haired soldier and Gobert are better for Merlin…I took a note in my mind.
It’s funny that Stupidly-Handsome was named Basil and Merlin’s thought, his favorite foods had been ruined because of that knowledge.
I hope Arthur and Merlin can find a way to run away before Merlin is sent to the mines.
In spite of all predicaments Marlin was forced to suffer, I like the scene with his mare. It’s heartwarming after all his suffering.
NO, Jill. Why are you writing Merlin in such a horrible state? He was punished instead of the Prince Arthur who might have killed soldier Gerard’s brother. Again, I hate the war. The war produces hate and it repeats the loath, revenge and tragedy.
K
Author's Response:Just know, not all quotes will come true...but some might. That's all I'm saying.
Thank you! I tried really hard to keep Arthur in character.
It is sad to think about slavery being normal - but this story was set 1500 years ago. People lived very different lives with very different morals back then. Doesn't make it right, but does explain a few things.
I don't know about Gobert, but the red-haired soldier might be. And yes, I had a little fun with the names. :)
As for the mines, just keep reading. And yes, I needed to find a way to give Merlin SOME comfort. His horse was the logical choice. Glad you liked it.
Sorry for the awful ending...just...plot, you know.
‘The oak fought the wind and was broken, the willow bent when it must and survived.
- Robert Jordan’
The words ^ sounds impressive. I took a note.
“Stupidly-Handsome woke Merlin in his normal, gentle manner”, I guess Stupidly-Handsome didn’t woke him gently, at all, right? The word, ‘gentle’ means “cruel”.
If Arthur could see him, he would have helped Merlin or given food or demanded Supidly-Handsome to care him better, but Jill, you won’t do any, right? On TV, magical or scary creatures appear and the enemy including Stupidly-Handsome are forced to release them and Merlin can find a way to get back his magic… but the things don’t turn in that way in your story, Jill. At least he could find new yarrow, it was good even if he was hungry.
Moving to the other camp and the pile Merlin gathered had to be left behind, which is harsh. Why, Jill, you seem to like setting the main character in a slavery state in both Andromeda and Merlin, I wonder what motivation drive you to write in that way.
I could visualize tired Merlin saw the proud handsome prince, Arthur blindfolded on a horse and a long file of soldiers and slaves on the wild wasteland.
Yes, “Find some way to get Arthur to safety”, the readers shout reading this, Jill. Please set Merlin free for his powerful magic, soon!
“even the smallest chance of getting Arthur out of this mess unharmed,” you are preparing this in your mind, Jill, right?
The latter half, you changed Merlin’s POV to Arthur’s POV. I had hope. Arthur will find a way to set Merlin free from the dreadful metal enchanted collar!
K
Author's Response:Glad you liked the quote, Kenny!
No, Stupidly-Handsome didn't wake him up gently at all...he was very cruel.
Yes, Arthur would do anything to help Merlin, if he could see him and knew what was happening to him. That's part of the irony of this story. Because Arthur's a prince, and Merlin can't talk, and also doesn't WANT Arthur to know everything, Merlin suffers a lot of things that Arthur never knows about. And Arthur learning to watch better and notice things is part of his growth. So yes, I'm looking at things a little differently than a short TV episode. This is a long story.
Actually, Merlin got to keep his pile of rocks. He put them on one of the wagons, and one of the kinder soldiers let him.
As for the slavery thing - I don't really know. I just like looking at characters and how they respond in horrible situations, and it doesn't get much worse than slavery.
Thanks again for reading!
So I'm going to be honest - I read ahead before writing this review. I just couldn't wait to see if Merlin would be separated from Arthur. I'll leave my thoughts about that for when I review that chapter, but needless to say, I'm really relieved that he wasn't.
It was so hard to read this chapter, though, knowing that Arthur has no idea what Merlin is facing. This is where Merlin being unable to speak is really, really a problem - I feel like he'd almost certainly have told Arthur what was happening, at least that he'd be going to the mines if he could have, but he just couldn't. So, instead, Arthur's just huffing and anxious about the use of magic, not terrified in the way Merlin is about the mines and his vulnerability. I'm not downplaying Arthur's anxiety about Merlin's safety - it's clearly very genuine, and I love his nightmare in particular - but it's just a very different dynamic, and I think you're handling the differences between them really, really well.
Also, validator note - I think a sexual assault advisory here would be appropriate, given the implications of what Hab is saying (unless I'm misreading it, but I don't think I am).
Author's Response:Now I have to admit to being very, very intrigued as to what you have to say about what actually ended up happening, given you peeked ahead. (Don't worry, I do that all the time.) And I'm glad you weren't disappointed that the mines threat didn't pan out and they stayed together.
It was hard to WRITE this chapter, knowing what awful threat is hanging over Merlin, and he's trying to bear it all stoicly and alone. And I don't know if he would have outright told Arthur, (remember his hidden goodbye message to Arthur after the Questing Beast when he was going to go exchange his life for Arthur's?) but I think he would have certainly said some kind of goodbye that made Arthur suspicious and so he would manage to drag it out of him. And then be sutibably horrified and furious. I have a feeling that will still happen later, when Arthur finally learns where Merlin WAS headed - a bit of delayed horror.
And again, I'm blushing so hard. Thank you so much for these comments! My head has grown so huge from the praise!
And I added the warning. Sorry I missed it before. Because no, you aren't misreading the implied words.
Wow. "Try not to worry." What bullshit.
Humanizing their captors is a tough line to walk, because slavery is an objectively evil thing and being complicit in it makes someone a pretty crappy person - but making everyone like the soldier who tried to kill Merlin would just be a caricature. You're balancing that well - you're showing that a lot of them will sit by for as long as they can lie to themselves that it's not that bad or just put it out of their minds, but object when it comes to overt mistreatment. That's so depressingly realistic.
I don't like Aram overall (he's a good character! I just don't like him as a person, because slavery), but when he dismisses Merlin's sense of betrayal... I mean, he has a point, doesn't he? Camelot literally burns anyone who practices magic - of course all magic users aren't going to feel a kinship with Merlin, given his closeness with Arthur. Twyford I feel a little more sympathy for, since I don't think he actually likes slavery and there's hope that he might possibly help them escape (or at least look the other way).
I do want to mention that I think your formatting got messed up around the spells that Aram casts - I see some symbols in there that don't fit. That's minor, though - overall, another amazing job!
Author's Response:I know. But I was really trying to avoid having every person in this country ruled by a nasty king also be nasty. Because, that's just not realistic.
Something I've thought a lot about as I was writing this story (and some others of mine) is that yes, slavery is an objectively evil thing, but sadly back then, it was also a terribly common thing. The Egyptians practiced slavery, it was common in Isreal and Babalon, the Romans and the Greeks and the Celts and the Vikings...everyone did it. That doesn't make it good or nice or right, but it does explain how it could become a sad fact of life. And it also explains how people could get stuck - someone might not like it, but if they serve a leader or country that condones it, especially a leader with absolute power over the life of his subjects and soldiers - you might not have much choice. And Merlin becoming a slave is horrible, but for most people he's going to encounter, it's also just a really sad turn of fortune and that's life. I hope I've been showing that - trying to show that slavery is awful, but also trying to frame it in the correct historical context for it in this story.
LOL. I don't like Aram either but I am so grateful people find him an intriguing character. And yes, you are absolutely right, Merlin really doesn't have many allies or friends in the magic world because to all of them, it appears he's on the wrong side. Poor kid.
Twyford was supposed to be a background character that poped up later in the story - and then he decided he wanted a bigger role and kinda butted in here. But that's okay, I'm liking him.
Hopefully I fixed the formating issue now. Had to change a few of the letters to be close equivilants because apparently we don't have the right ones here. :)
Thanks again! Oh, and I really hope these responses aren't too riddled with spelling mistakes! I really, REALLY miss the little red lines that show me when something is wrong as I'm typing! hehehe
Your quotes continue to be just perfectly on point. <3
I really like the juxtaposition between Arthur's thoughts about escape vs. Merlin's. They're looking at their surroundings in very different ways - Arthur's immediate instinct is to just punch his way out, in part because he's in a position to rely on his skills, while Merlin's approach has been trying to finesse his way out - I think in part because Merlin is less likely to take Arthur's approach in general, but also obviously because Merlin's skills have been taken from him. They're both still focused on each other, though, which makes so much sense.
Arthur's clearly really not sure how to approach this - it's not his forte - but I love that he tries, because especially in a situation like this, trying is really the core thing. I also get why he fell into the usual banter, and the way you handled it was really great - Arthur realizes the literal implications of what he's saying, but I think that Merlin gets where he's coming from and appreciates it.
Your exploration of what friendship means to Arthur is really wonderful, too. There's something that's really paradoxical about the idea that Merlin is both his best friend and his servant, especially given that Arthur really does treat him like the latter - but that really is true to the show, and you walk the line just as well as the show does.
Amazing job!
Author's Response:Thank you, again!
:) Thanks! And you are so right! Merlin is reeling because the things he usually does to help, even secretly, have been stripped from him. And Arthur is still thinking like a knight - weighing his options, planning and strategizing. Thanks for picking up on that!
Not that it's really doing either of them any good at the moment... (hides)
I really liked writing this chapter - given them a sort of frozen in time between awful realities moment together, which they really needed. I hated that it came at Merlin's expense, but it was also really cool to try and write Arthur in such a role that was so out of his element. He does care for Merlin, and he does want to help him, but he's so not used to showing that, and especially in such a physical way. I think he ended up doing pretty good, though, all things considered. I love that you enjoy all these things so much! It really makes me want to keep writing!
You know, sometimes I feel like we come at this idea of master and servant with our very modern glasses on, and our first inclination is to be offended. Thinking it can't be true friendship, if Arthur treats Merlin like a servant. They can't be real friends until they are equals. And I think we forget that it was very different back then. Class and status were a way of life. Also, for many, the ability to serve someone you cared about was the ultimate way to express that care. And in this case, I've come to believe that Merlin being Arthur's servant actually makes it EASIER for them to be true friends - it gives Merlin an access to Arthur he would never get otherwise, it allows Arthur to be himself around him unlike with those of his same status, and it strips away all fake affection and pretense. If Merlin were his social equal, there would be so many more strings attached to the relationship. It took me a long time to think through all of this, but I feel like I'm finally starting to understand and get a handle on it.
Thanks again!
Oh, Arthur. I love your convictions and the fact that you give a shit, but also, you can't just bulldoze your way out of literally every situation. You have no power here. The fact that Arthur's first response is fight rather than flight, though, fits in perfectly with his character. I also really love the symmetry in Arthur having a hard time shutting up, because it really does mimic Merlin's overall state of being so, so well. Those tendencies come from two different places - for Arthur, it comes from a place of privilege, where for Merlin, it comes from sheer impetuousness, but it's true for both of them.
Merlin being comforted and feeling guilty about how he's being used to keep Arthur in line works so, so well, and I love the way he ultimately channels that into something that could help them get out of the mess they're in - information is power, and their ignoring him because of the collar around his neck is power, too.
My heart went out to him toward the end of the chapter - holy shit. His being freezing and then beaten is awful, but you write it so, so well. I can't even, and I need to go onto the next chapter immediately because omg.
Author's Response:Arthur is having trouble with having no power. He thinks if he just pretends like he does, somehow it will fix things. I mean he knows that it won't, but he can't figure out how else to react. And yes, it's like somehow he feels the need to fill the void left when Merlin's chatter was silenced. I don't think he's realized that yet, but he's doing it.
Merlin is trying so hard to find a way to get Arthur to safety, and he feels so bad that he can't find one. And yes, he's torn, because seeing that the prince does care for him and his safety is pretty much all that's keeping him going at th emoment, but he also feels so guilty at being used.
Yes, I have to admit, that was a hard ending to write - to do that to Merlin. :( Poor kid. Thanks for your emotional reaction! Means so much that it captured you!
Oooh, I love this quote, too. It fits the situation, and it's also applicable to life overall - you sometimes have to bend, because if you refuse to, you will break.
There are so many little things that you included here that brought the scene to life. Merlin's hunger was communicated so, so well - it's easy to think about our own hunger when we've skipped meals and think that it's not that big a deal, but the fact that he's only getting one meal a day changes that dynamic significantly, as does all the labor he's doing, and you communicated that in a really seamless way. Similarly, I loved his bringing the stones with them, both because it really does show that he's not broken and because I can understand why he'd do that, given how bone-tired he has to be. (And the impact that even small kindnesses can have is just. Oh, Merlin. He needs a hug.)
And Arthur omggg ILY Arthur. Arthur's tendency to just feel righteous anger and indignation rather than hopelessness is definitely in part a function of his relative privilege, but it's also a function of who he is as a person. Arthur gets angry, and I think it's often because the alternative is getting scared and/or feeling helpless. That really spoke to me in the show, and you're capturing it so well here.
Amazing job yet again! <3
Author's Response:Home sick today, so I figured I'd try to respond to a few more of these amazing reviews. And BTW, I can't tell you how much it means that you nominated this story for a FROG! THANK YOU!
Again, I love that you love the quotes. Makes me full of warm fuzzies.
Merlin does need a hug. A lot of them, actually. And thank you for the compliments! I wanted to show that while Merlin is no stranger to hunger in his life, or hard work, this level of both is starting to get to him. And yes, to also show that he's still got fight left in him - which I'm so glad you picked up on. His moment of rebellion with the rocks, and the moment of kindness returned by the guard were needed. I love how perceptive you are as a reader! Makes me so happy!
And now I'm melting again from your comments about Arthur. Just, can I hug you?
Thanks so much!
I'm back for the winter wonderland!
On one hand, I feel like you're kind of building us up just to knock us back down again - this chapter ended on a pretty positive and hopeful note, all things considered, and I'm afraid that next chapter won't - but on the other, I'm really glad that this happened. Arthur needed to know that Merlin wasn't dead and that he knew that Arthur regretted what he'd done, and Merlin needed to know that Arthur cared and knew he wasn't a thief and a liar. I'm glad that at least thus far, they still have each other.
I loved how little Arthur held back, too - his impetuousness can be a bad thing, but it can be a good thing, too, and I definitely think it was here. The entire reason Merlin even got the chance to let him know that he was all right was that Arthur does have compassion for everyone, even people who are theoretically below him - and, of course, as soon as he had the opportunity to tell Merlin, he took it. (I really like Arthur, have I mentioned?) Merlin's reaction was so, so heart-warming, too - his focus on how important hope was and his renewed strength in the face of it was such an amazing juxatposition to how hopeless he was feeling before his conversation (for lack of a better word) with Arthur. And that made sense to me, given their dynamic and given how important hope is in general.
Another amazing chapter!
Author's Response:I wouldn't do that! Okay, so actually, I probably would...you are right to be suspicious. *sighs* I'm a horrible person. But, yes, they needed a moment of...hope, I guess. Desperatly. And all those things you just mentioned there. Yes, to all of them.
I'll be honest - I don't like my boys upset with each other. And now they are in such a scary, awful situation, they need each other even more. So, I really couldn't draw out their torment of not knowing any longer. So I'm realy glad you liked Arthur's appology and Merlin's joyful acceptance of it.
Merlin is a hopeful person, prone to cheerfulness and looking on the bright side of life. I really believe this, because otherwise he would have sat down and given up in the first season with all the crap the universe (and Arthur) threw at him. That doesn't mean he doesn't get down, or scared, or worried, or feel trapped. But I feel like when he's given a shred of hope to cling to, he'll take it for all its worth. That's how he survives.
Thanks again!
Hey, Jill! I'm back for the Winter Wonderland!
And oh, wow. So I know I've raved about how amazing your Arthur is (and he is!), but your Merlin just. And your plot just. I just.
In more coherent feedback: my heart broke when Merlin wondered why Arthur looked so sad, both because it shows that Merlin's concerns are still all about Arthur rather than himself and that he doesn't get how much Arthur cares about him. On one hand, given how the story opened, I get it, and also he has no way of knowing that Arthur's been told that he's dead, but on the other hand... really, Merlin? REALLY?
I really, really love the way you approach the magicked slave collar as well as how Merlin figures out how it works. When you first mentioned it, I actually had the same thought as Merlin - it's a good thing he can do magic without words, then! But you bypassed that in a really, really clever way, and now Merlin's backed up against a wall. I feel like he'll still manage to find a way out of it somehow, but it's going to be so much harder.
Another amazing chapter! <3
Author's Response:I'm grinning like a lunatic here. Seriously. I should post a picture. It's probably frightening. But...just wow! Thank you! I'm so happy you like it! And that you love my Merlin! I love both Arthur and Merlin, almost equally, but I think Merlin is easier for me to write. Not sure why.
Merlin is selfless - that's one of his biggest character traits. But sometimes, it's also one of his flaws, because he's SO selfless and thinking of everyone else first, that he starts to think he himself has no value, is expendible, and that's okay. Which it's not. But he gets that in his head, and then people tell him he's a worthless servant that doesn't help, and...yeah. It makes me love him, but every once in a while it makes me want to slap him. It's also why Arthur is good for him, though. Because Arthur DOES care for him...and when he actually gets his act together, usually manages to show that.
There are a lot of stories in the Merlin fandom where Merlin's magic is restrained, and because he is magic itself, it starts to kill him. I knew I wanted to do it differently. What's the point of a slave collar or magic restraint it it kills the person? And I was also just kinda thinking that sometimes the simpiliest things work the best. So, it's an easy trap, but once a person is in it, they are stuck because everything they do just makes the trap stronger. I was worried people would be like - that's lame. But so far, everyone seems to be liking the idea. I'm glad you approve!
As for him finding a way out...have to wait and see.
Thanks again!
Any access or use of the FanficTalk Archive is conditioned upon compliance with our Site Guidelines and Terms of Service and the Copyright Policy and Privacy Policy contained therein. Should you have any questions about them, you are very welcome to contact any of our archive validators. For advanced searching, please click here.
Any characters, source code, text, or titles contained herein which are recognizable as copyrighted material are the sole property of their owners.