FanficTalk Archive
Unleash Your Fandom
Aw, very cute! Happy ending! I can definitely imagine Sirius blurting out his truth at any given moment, as I don't think he particularly enjoys keeping secrets about himself - or anything really, even if it may cause some chaos (or maybe especially if it will cause some chaos)! I'm surprised he made it four months before blurting it out! hahaha
Remus is so lovely. Even he hadn't felt the same as Sirius, he still would have reacted the same way, making sure the first thing Sirius knew was that it was going to be okay and nothing would change.
My favorite moment was when Remus shifted the focus by saying "since we're sharing and... everything." I just liked the way that flowed, and that Remus would take that opportunity without hesitation to let Sirius know he wasn't alone. It was also very brave of Remus, consideing Sirius hadn't said who the boy he liked was, but I'm glad he went for it! Really sweet ending, and very fun little story overall!
Another nice chapter, in which we get to see a bit more into the minds of both of these characters and their rationalizations for why they've both agreed to fake this relationship.
Firstly, I love the idea of Sirius attending Quidditch practices, and especially sitting up in the speaker booth - I could totally see him messing with James and the team through inappropriate use of the microphone, hurling insults and lying about things happening on the pitch to confuse the players! hahaha It's a cool idea, and bringing Marlene does feel like the sort of convincing type of step you'd take to make a fake relationship feel more real, as it's a place he usually spends time alone in.
Secondly, I really enjoyed the deeper dive into each of their emotions and fears regarding the people they like and the problems it causes. They relate to a degree, as they both feel they can't tell their closest friends, but it's also quite a different scenario for each, when Remus is so closely entwined in Siruis' life, while Marlene gets a bit more space from her crush. There reasons are even different for hiding because of this - Marlene is simply not ready for people to know who she truly is, while Sirius is afraid his feelings could cause a permanent rift in his friend group.
Looking forward to seeing where this goes next!
Hello there! What a fun start you have here! I feel quite invested in the story already, and that can sometimes be a very difficult thing to feel in a first chapter, so well done there! I really enjoyed your writing as far as the dialogue and descriptions go. The relationship between Marlene and Sirius had a fun bite to it, and I like the way it built to the ending, with Marlene's admission and proposal. You've laid a great foundation here, because it makes me want to read more, and often times, that's not the case and that can be a really difficult thing to accomplish.
I would say my only criticism is I'm not sure how in-character it feels for Sirius to be quite so studius here, or worrying about things like his essay paper crumpling as he shoves it into his backpack. But that's obviously just my opinion, and even so, I felt really invested in both characters, and am sincerely looking forward to the next chapter and where this goes!
Helloooo I'm here for the HC Finale and also because I cannot resist a happy ending gays-dating-their-friends-because-they-love-their-other-friends-fic and gosh this delivered So Freaking Well <3 I really love Sirius/Remus but sometimes I've found it can be really overwritten or overdramatic and just not?? particularly in-character and I love that this wasn't any of those things. I loved the detail about Sirirus needing to be alone to properly study and how his friends respected that. I thought it was so realistic how when Marlene approached him he initially freaked out, but then once she got the whole story out he was kind of apprehensively "okay I guess we can try this". And then they became such good friends via their fake dating, and there was so much vulnerability in the midst of these three chapters and it was so well done, witha lot of depth?? and that's not easy to do I don't think in such a short fic, but you did it so well and it was so enjoyable.
And oh my god the scene with Remus and Sirirus!! I need a whole paragraph of ksjdhfs just for that because I loved it so much, I thought it was so realistic but also very romantic??? Very "the notebook" style romance but not heteronormative which made it even better. I just really liked this fic, and I really loved the way you wrote Remus and Sirius figuring everything out, and how it ended on such a lovely, happy note. <3
Julie
Hey! Lily again back for more. It still always surprises me whenever anyone mentions Sirius not playing quidditch. I know that he didn't but it really seems like a sport he would have been pleased to take part in. I like how he comes to watch James practice though. A little bit of a Starbuck vibe here hahaha.
I can appreciate why it's much harder for him to bring himself to tell his friends than it is for Marlene to tell hers. First of all, I think definitely in the 80s and even still today, girls dating girls is more kindly looked upon the boys dating boys. Obviously it's more because of fetishization, but at least they're not receiving as much discrimination. And then it's so hard for someone when the person they are in love is their best friend. It's like, you want to tell them everything about who you love and ask for advice, but you can't because then they'd know it was them.
You do a great job of examining the tension between both of their struggles. I hope that their plan can work and that they can decide to tell their friends when they're both ready, but of course things don't usually work like that in life so I'm excited to see where it goes.
And James is always funny of course.
Thanks for another great chapter!
Hey there! I was looking around for something to read for bvb and your story caught my eye. It is definitely a clichéd trope, but that doesn't mean that you don't write it well. I like how Sirius needs silence to study. Of course I'd be annoyed if someone just came and sat down next to me, starting to talk nonsense if I was studying too. And I can understand why he's so angry. I feel bad that he has to keep the secret that he's in love with Remus even from his best friends. I'm sure that James would understand, but of course he's just as close to Remus as he is to Sirius and would feel bad keeping the secret. Sirius must feel so isolated awww.
I'm really intrigued to see where this fake dating trope goes. Marlene seems to be pretty set in her idea and like she has a strategy. I am sure that they will be pretty good at keeping each other's secrets.
I liked the line about Sirius asking her if it's really that obvious. And then Marlene says no but better play it safe right? Kind of thing. That was a really sweet/nice way to end the chapter!
Thanks for writing such a lovely little story. I'm excited to read the next chapter.
Hi Ashley! Here to spread some love and kindness!
Okay, so I don't know how I haven't read this story before (particularly since it was involved in the terms of the straight!Sirius agreement with Kayla), but it's really no surprise that I loved this first chapter!
I really enjoyed the way that you opened this, singling this moment out as something unusual straight away but also showing us a side to Sirius Black that we don't often see in fic. It both set this story out as something different, and it gave me an inkling that Marlene was going to be someone who could see a different side to Sirius than what other people seemed to be able to see.
I absolutely loved Marlene in this. Her confidence was really appealing, as well as her (very Gryffindor) determination to go through with her plan and make Sirius listen to her about it. I couldn't help but warm to her immediately, with the way that she's not at all intimidated by Sirius and how calm she is when she confronts him with her plan.
As for Sirius, I couldn't help but feel for him when Marlene kind of outed him for being in love with Remus, even though there was no malice behind it. It was really obvious that he'd been trying to keep that fact from other people, and even to hide it from himself, so I did feel sorry for him when I saw his reaction to Marlene's clear statement of the fact. But I was glad that, by the end of this chapter, he realised it wasn't something he had to be worried or embarrassed about, especially with Marlene, when she was so happy to state that she was in love with Emmeline.
The plan is definitely an intriguing one! I love a good fake-dating fic, but I'm really intrigued to see where this one's going to go... I can't imagine Sirius and Marlene falling for each other at the end of this (not least because this was started for the Sirius Black Is Gay challenge, and that would... kind of go against the challenge prompt), but I'm really looking forward to seeing what shenanigans do ensue from the fake relationship!
Sian :)
and i’m back with part 2!
i love sirius and marlene’s friendship in this chapter - how it starts with super innocent and basic ‘pick one’ type questions and then quickly shifts into much deeper stuff. the shift in sirius as marlene goes from asking him to pick between cats and dogs to asking about why he hasn’t told his friends that he’s gay is palpable - he’s suddenly much more tense and less sure of his words.
but also, marlene is right here. like, it makes sense that sirius is scared to tell them, because they’re his best friends and he relies on them so much in so many ways, but also i wish he could be more confident here - james and remus and peter would never ditch him.
marlene’s vulnerability in this chapter is also great - she was so confident in the last one, and seeing the different side of the coin here where she admits that the fake-dating proposal was more because she needed it than because she thought he did just really shows multiple dimensions to her character.
lol and then i love the dose of sassy james at the end here. i’m always here for sassy james.
this was a great second chapter - thanks for swapping with me! :)
-taylor
hi ashley!! i’ve seen mentions of this story pop up on my twitter feed a bunch recently, so i figured i’d come by it for our swap :)
i love the idea that sirius has to have complete silence to study. i feel like he’s always written as not really caring much about school and getting by on natural talent and intelligence alone, so this a refreshing switch from that. i also love the nod to the ’sirius snagging every girl he can’ trope that goes around a lot, except it died after fourth year here.
and i already adore marlene. she’s so direct and doesn’t beat around the bush at all, like she just immediately walks up to sirius and is like ‘we should date, also i know you like remus’ and then has to literally chase him down because he just immediately runs away from her confrontation. it’s such a funny thing to picture, sirius just noping the fuck out of the library as soon as marlene hints at his feelings for remus.
i think my feelings about the fake dating trope are probably very well-documented across multiple platforms, but it bears repeating that i fucking love this trope. it’s so good. and this seems like it’s going to flip the trope on its head, because unlike how most fake dating fics go, sirius and marlene *aren’t* actually going to fall for each other. i’m excited. :P
this story’s off to a great start, and i can’t wait to see how this fake-dating business ends up going down!
-taylor
Ashley! You did it! About time hahaha.
Okay, so I have to say something before I say anything else, and I'm very sorry to start off my review with this, but... teeeechnically speaking the terms of our agreement are still unfulfilled! If you recall, I specifically said that I would only write straight Sirius if Marlene and Sirius both landed their respective love interests in chapter 3.
Not that I'm not very thrilled with this chapter (I am!) but I feel like I'm owed a follow-up one-shot. A Marlene-centric one! Because, after all... this fake-dating situation was her (brilliant) idea in the first place, so why does she suddenly want Sirius to tell Remus everything? Could it be because... she's finally worked up the courage to tell Emmeline Vance how she feels?! And she doesn't want her fake relationship with Sirius hampering her?! Hmmm.
But anyways, whatever Marlene's reasoning is for wanting Sirius to come clean, I can't be mad at her (or you!) for it, because the result is this wonderful Wolfstar conclusion! I've said from the start that I really enjoy your portrayal of Sirius, I think it's so thoughtful. You haven't gone the easy route of just making him this super-confident and suave dude, as a lot of people are wont to do, but instead you gave him anxieties and fears, and this story is much better for it!
I liked everything about the conversation between Sirius and Remus so much that I'm honestly struggling trying to figure out what to say hahaha. One of my favourite moments though was when Remus made the comment about how girls are always throwing themselves at Sirius and Sirius's ears started ringing - I felt for him so much there, of course Remus didn't mean anything by it (probably it was something that hurt him and he was jealous of, given the rest of the conversation haha) but to be basically on the brink of this huge confession and then have all those oppressive expectations that have been weighing on you basically thrown right into your face? I thought you handled that moment exceptionally well.
AHHHH SUCH A SWEET AND FLUFFY END TO THIS CHAPTER! All the waiting was worth it just for "Do you think maybe you could tell me again?". The two of them are so Soft and Lovely together, I love it so much.
Great work <3
-Kayla
The final installment!
This struck with every ounce of the feels I thought it would, even coming with the time jump in the three chapters. Marlene has always been the driving force in this whole situation and she manages to follow on from her remarks about Sirius's friends supporting him by pushing Sirius to tell Remus how he feels. When she makes the push, she's likely been spending quite a bit more time around the Marauders and I wonder whether she's noticed that Remus seems to be displaying a lot of the signs that he's into Sirius as well or if it's really because she doesn't want to keep the fake relationship alive for herself as well - to abandon her own fear with the hopeful comfort that Sirius put himself out there as well whatever happens with her. Speaking of, if you wrote a story about how things panned out for her, I wouldn't hate it...
As far as the ultimate conversation between Sirius and Remus goes, I loved the way you dragged it out. There were so many points where it could've gone either direction and really that was the case right until the moment that they kissed. In the early going Sirius is very much controlled by the fear, understandably, of how Remus will react to him even coming out, then that shifts to Sirius trying to blow off the conversation, then that shifts to Remus's insistence that he know why which either could've been because he suspected Sirius's feelings and they're unrequited or because he (as we see in the end) ultimately shares them and doesn't want to be the first to 'say' it. Anyway, I thought it was really well handled from start to finish. The fic, not just the conversation.
Thanks for sharing!
Howdy again!
This chapter was really refreshing, pairing the two up again, but this time not in an obvious, let's be comedic way. You keep the fear genuine and you also keep the interaction really close and personal, which I think fuels the first reassurance to them that Marlene's ruse is working - James calling out to them as 'lovebirds' - because they (rightly or not) think he's fallen for it. I'm personally not as sure that he doesn't already know, but it at least plants the seed that Sirius's claim that he's kept secrets well enough from the other Marauders before is true.
It's interesting to see Marlene become the vulnerable one in this chapter though. Before she'd seemed very much the strong one - in control and with an actual plan. Yet in this chapter she admits that she feels like she needs the faking more than Sirius because of her inability to handle her feelings coupled with the fact that she doesn't trust that her friends or others are going to be as supportive as she believes the Marauders might for him. Though I mentioned James already, I wonder if Marlene's friends actually already know too.
Rolling back for a second to the way that Sirius and Marlene interact in this scene, I think this type of interaction you used could actually be more effective than turning into snog central and having the subtle affection of sort of curling into each other.
I know we've only got one chapter left, but as serious as the story has been so far, I'm really interested to see how this wraps up.
Howdy! And WAAAAAAH. I accidentally lost this review so I'm going to try to make it as cool as before.
From personal experience, the fake-dating premise is easier to think about than actually write well, but I think you picked it up really well, especially with the choice of characters. We don't know that much about Marlene yet, but we get a slightly different glimpse of Sirius than the typical fare. Here, he's sneakily studious and I wonder if that would be part of how the Marauders ball out with their pranks while still seeming to slay academically - each studying in their own way.
As far as the 'couple' dynamic goes, I originally thought that this could play out for either a while or resolve pretty quickly which I think speaks to the way you set it up even if (curse you) the latter will be the reality. With Sirius's stuttering and Marlene's seriousness it actually feels like fake-dating might expose one or both of them sooner than otherwise given that Marlene doesn't think Sirius is obvious and most of his friends (thus far) seem not to have noticed.
If slightly flawed from a technical perspective due to the word 'assuming' I do like Marlene's analogy to insurance as far as the fake relationship goes. She does a pretty good job of setting up said policy by dragging Sirius into the empty classroom before it all kicks off. Though the traffic level isn't clear near said classroom planting that memory would definitely be beneficial if they emerged looking like they'd snogged.
I'm looking forward to what the next couple of chapters hold!
As I promised, I’m back for chapter three and gahhhh your conclusion was great.
I LOVED how Sirius finally told Remus he was gay as you really brought out just how difficult he found it, with all his stuttering and half sentences, it came across so well and you could see him struggling. You wrote his internal monologue about what he was finally going to do make me feel stressed for him! And I’m so glad that Marlene finally pushed him into telling Remus, not just that he was gay, but finally revealing his feelings for him (more on that later). However, I’m so curious as to what would happen to Marlene now her and Sirius' relationship is, I assume, over. Did she ever come out or is she still struggling to tell her best friend that she's gay? So, if you want to spin this off, I’m totally here for that, just sayin’!
Anyway, I love Remus Lupin, I always want to give him a good squish, and his admission was great too - with the whole “ask me” section - I was like “yessss!” and I love how you wrote his admission. I really wish you’d tortured them a little more with the old angst for a few more chapters, but maybe that’s because I loved it so much and wanted it to last a bit longer! I do love me a happy ending though and you can’t get any happier than ending on a good ol’ smooch!
Tasha - for the review event xx
I’m back for chapter two and thought this one was pretty sad. Your Sirius is quite different to many I’ve seen and I really love seeing the vulnerable side to him that you’ve brought out in him. He’s usually always the confident playboy of the group who has a different girl on his arm every week, so this is a fantastic twist on that.
I love how the conversation begins with general questions you might throw at your friends, such as the ‘fame or money’ (and I thought Marlene’s answer was perfect by the way!) and how it all seemed easy and relaxed until she mentioned keeping his secret.
You really did this switch between the conversation change really well. Suddenly Sirius’ body language changed and he clammed up.
He clenched his fists, tucking them under his arms to keep Marlene from noticing. He could feel his nails digging into his palms as he tried to keep his voice even.
This made me feel so sad for him, like it's physically causing him pain to keep this secret from his best friends and I thought you really brought his struggle out so well. Though he did think he was different to Marlene - almost like he was the only one in the world who is finding this difficult maybe?
Anyway, I loved this chapter and onto the next!
Tasha - For the review event x
I loved this opening chapter, it really set the story up for what's to come and it sounds like it's going to be an interesting ride, that's for sure! It's often Remus that is seen hiding his feelings for Sirius, so I loved that you've turned that on its head.
So, I'll say this right off the bat...WolfStar really wasn't my bag to begin with. I avoided it for so long and then I found HPFT and began reading some amazing stories, that strangely enough, the pairing has started to creep into my own fics. I never saw that coming!
ANYWAYS, that being said, I absolutely had to click on this as the summary sounded awesome, and after one chapter, I'm hooked. Sirius' quirk about needing total silence to study in was a cool little trait to add in as we often see him either bunking off homework completely, or just being so naturally gifted he doesn't have to try, so I loved that.
Sirius usually prided himself on being able to keep control of his expressions and emotions. Growing up in a family like his, it was one of the first things he learned. - Pureblood families are something else, right? Don't show emotions or everyone will know your weakness. Marlene seems pretty switched on to see that Sirius is hiding his feelings, but maybe that's because she knows what to pick up on because she's feeling it too.
Your description of Sirius panicking and darting out of the library, knocking over the chairs as he went was spot on. I loved Marlene too and how she was blunt and blurted out the proposition in the library, where, I'm guessing, she thought he wouldn't freak out and draw attention to the whole thing. So i'm glad she got to actually corner him and explain.
I honestly can't wait to see how this plays out. Will their secret loves actually love them back, or is it an unrequited thing? Don't break my heart now!
Off to read the next chapter to find out!
Tasha - for the review event x
Hello again!
Asking each other questions to get to know each other better is a good idea for fake dating. I do feel bad that neither of them feel comfortable coming out about their crushes. It must be difficult for Sirius to keep such a big secret from his friends, considering how close they all are, which makes Marlene totally right. Understandable, Sirius is afraid of losing Remus; he's afraid of losing all of his friends if he finally comes out. It might even make it more difficult that one of the friends in question is the object of Sirius' affection. Telling his friends means telling his crush and that's gotta be tremendously difficult. Aye, but yeah, Sirius does make a point that if Marlene thought nobody would care, she wouldn't have suggested the fake relationship to begin with. Oh, the score? Hm, were they keeping track of that? Haha!
Please let me know when you update!
-Rumpels
Hello!
First of all, I love Sirius x Remus ships and I absolutely adore the idea of Marlene McKinnon x Emmaline Vance! I love that Marlene tracked Sirius down in the library and brought up the proposition to fake-date for both of their sakes, so that no unwanted suspicions are aroused as to who they actually want to date. Sirius' reaction to Marlene calling him out on loving Remus is priceless--I love the shocked stuttering and the deference he played. Marlene has a fantastic personality, blunt and straight-forward, she's not messing around. I also really appreciate this little quirk of Sirius' that he generally prefers to study in complete silence. I'm looking forward to seeing how this mutually beneficial relationship will work and if Marlene and Sirius will end up with their respective loves.
-Rumpels
Hey there!
I've come to review your entry for The Classic Fanfiction Tropes Challenge. This is definitely the most interesting take on fake!dating I've read simply because Sirius and Marlene don't have any feelings for each other. It's not a fic that will lead to romance (between them anyway) and I don't want it to be haha.
You mentioned Sirius being in love with Remus and my love for all things Wolfstar has come out with a vengeance.
I do like how Sirius and Marlene interact with each other in this chapter. There's definitely a camaraderie there, even if Sirius is unwilling to come forward with some information. (Naturally.) They're very at ease with each other which I suppose is the point. While it's always good to have the typical "omg how are we going to sell this if we can't act to save our lives" element, it's also nice to see the opposite. Also, the shipper in me really kinda wants to see Remus get jealous. I am a simple girl with simple wants 😜
Can I just say that I really love your characterisation of Sirius? So often do we see that he coasted by in school with natural talent (which, fair enough, I can see happening), but I really like that he studies here. Studies two chapters in a row, no less! It doesn't make him boring or less of the troublemaker I'm sure he is, just a schoolkid. Also love how he sits in on the practice while he does.
There wasn't a whole lot of James in this chapter, but I did like what we got so I'm looking forward to that in the future. All in all, a fab entry!
Plums xo
Hey Claire,
I'm here for our review swap! So there are so many things to pick up on this first chapter, it's quite short but you really set up everything so well. you've manage to get in so much characterisation for both characters already. I really enjoy that fact that it's just the two of them in this first chapter. it's really nice because we had the focus purely on the two lead characters here.
So, the idea for the story is really awesome as it is. I adore how you've taken a trope and turned it on its head to do something different with it. that's really clever and just a stamp of a really good writer to do something a bit outside the box? so I love that you're doing your own twist almost. it's really interesting concept while being quite fun too!
So you've opened with Sirius in the library and even in your first opening lines, you've created your own Sirius like I adore the line 'Contrary to popular belief, his avoidance of the library had less to do with overwhelming natural talent' because you've taken down and poked fun at the 'traditional' fan fic version of Sirius. It does lots for this characterisation and firmly making this character your own. So I'm just impressed with that little detail and I really enjoyed the way you did that.
So, we have to talk about my girl, Marlene. I love her in this, I adore my sassy female characters and Marlene is amazing. I just love her attitude, she's so blunt and just real, I think she is going to be such a kick ass character. I can't pick out my favourite line, this is from one conversation that they've had. Something that I picked up on from your other stories is your talent for creating dialogue especially using it effectively to craft the relationships between the characters aka. I love the banter.I look forward to getting to know Marlene a bit better because I can see little bits of her more 'sensitive' side like when she also admits that she's in love with Emmeline so it'll be interesting in future chapters to see more of that because you've got the making of a very interesting and layered character. I really enjoyed this, great job!
brb - off to read chapter 2!
- Abbi xo
Heyy! I'm back again! And once again, I apologize for the delay, both in general and also between reviews :P
Okay so I absolutely love Sirius in this chapter, I think you handled him really well. I got all emotional when Marlene called him out on being a good liar tbh. And even more emotional when HE got all emotional and it all just burst out of him. I found it very believable, so big kudos for that!
I really enjoy how you're portraying Marlene. In both chapters she's had this confident and blunt exterior, but we also get to see a more vulnerable side to her. I like how she clearly cares about Sirius and isn't just using him for her own purposes; she genuinely wants him to open up to her, and seems to want what's best for him and worry about him. I love the way they interact with each other and I very much hope they're going to continue to be bros after this fake-dating thing wraps up (which I'm assuming/hoping it will?)
I also love the idea of Sirius going out and watching the Gryffindor Quidditch practices, and how you carried through what you established in the first chapter (that he needs peace and quiet to get things done).
Great work on this second chapter, I'm super excited for more :D
-Kayla
Hey Claire! I'm finally here reviewing my challenge entries. My sincerest apologies for the long wait.
So I was absolutely thrilled to bits the first time I clicked the link you'd posted in the challenge thread and I saw the concept for your entry. It's this fairly common trope (fake dating), but it immediately felt so fresh, because (in my experience, anyway) that trope is usually used to get the two people in question together and I rarely see it used for this sort of mutual-beard situation. So I already thought that was great, and then I LOVED it applied here specifically. I was instantly ALL ABOUT Sirius and Marlene as bros helping each other out by bearding for each other. So yeah, this is all to say that this premise was very instantly appealing to me. :D
And the first chapter didn't disappoint in the slightest! I absolutely love your characterization of both Sirius and Marlene. I really liked the idea of him needing silence to study - I've never really seen anyone put any sort of thought into his study or school habits beyond "he's naturally gifted at everything", so I thought that was really thoughtful and a great touch. His reaction to Marlene having figured him out was absolutely perfect - both his immediate reaction of panic and his continued discomfort and panic even when they were alone. I'm quite picky about Sirius and it read very real to me, so I was super happy there.
Marlene was great! I haven't read a lot of stuff with her in it because I don't read Sirius/Marlene fics and (unfortunately) people don't tend to include her in things beyond that. I really liked the way you wrote her though. She was so matter-of-fact and came across as quite confident, but there was that moment of vulnerability when she revealed that she's in love with Emmeline.
I love the way they bounce off of each other, and I'm so excited for the rest of this story and to see how this scheme of theirs will work out! :D
Thanks for entering my challenge and sorry again for the delay!
-Kayla
Hey, Claire! :)
Hope you don't mind if I skipped reviewing chapter 1, but I was so caught up in the story and I just needed to read on. :D
I'm loving this so far! I love your portrayal of Sirius, it's so great! I love that you make him so fragile and sensitive, it's not a characterization that you see often but it's one that makes total sense to me. I loved the detail of him needing absolute quietness for studying. So unique, and at the same time so fitting.
Marlene is great, too. I've always imagined her as an enterprising young woman and she totally is here, I loved how blunt she was in confronting Sirius. (By the way, I'm so curious about where the fake dating will lead them...)
Poor Sirius... I can see why he would be scared, he can't lose the other Marauders' (and Remus' especially) friendship... but obviously Marlene is right, his friends would understand. It's so sad how much he's been through, though, and it really must be killing him to hide such a huge part of himself from the people he loves the most... I hope things will get better soon.
And now I'm wondering... which house is Emmeline in? In my headcanon she's a Hufflepuff, it would be awesome if we shared it. :P (and yes, I'm partial to Hufflepuff characters, as you may imagine... :P)
I probably should comment on a thousand other things (like how flawless your writing is, for example) but I really need to go now. Just know that I've loved this!
Snowball hug,
Chiara
CLAIRE I'M HERE FOR OUR REVIEW SWAP AND I'M ALREADY IN SHOUTY CAPS, BUT I LOVE THIS!
Okay so I was excited about the idea behind this story and this first chapter didn't disappoint. It's funny and the characterization is fantastic. I love, love, love the idea that Sirius keeps his emotions guarded because of his family - it makes so much sense, and I found it interesting that you didn't include Peter on the list of the three people that he let his guard down to. And also I love that he takes schoolwork seriously (har har) because I feel like that's not something typically associated with him in fics.
And Marlene! She was fantastic too. She was pushy enough to get him to talk about it, but not overtly so if that makes sense. She just knew what she wanted and she was determined to get it, but then showed vulnerability when talking about Emmeline so that Sirius knew that her feelings were real.
I loved the dynamic between the two of them, too! I'm super excited to see how their relationship grows and I feel like it's not a totally cliche almost fake dating story, and I have a weakness for those.
I can't wait to see where you take this with Wolfstar and Marlene/Emmeline and how everything comes into play.
An excellent first chapter!! Thanks for the swap ♥
Hey Claire! I'm here for our review swap! I think I've read a couple of your stories so far, but I'm not fully acquainted with your AP and it's about time I changed that :)
"Mutually Beneficial" - I love the title, and the opening paragraph to this story is great! It really sets a scene and draws me in to read more. Your writing, as ever, is beautifully clear and concise throughout this story, and this first chapter flows really well, and the dialogue is brilliant. Sirius Black is remarkably well outlined in this first chapter and I love the little details you've added here, such as him requiring absolute silence in which to study. School libraries are never the quietest places, especially when crammed with anxious students all busy scribbling away last-minute.
Heh! I love how forthright Marlene is with her dating offer, and how perceptive she obviously is to have picked up the clues pertaining to Sirius's sexuality (and the object of his desire as Remus). Poor Sirius! "...Number of times that he had slipped up, and even then, it had only been in front of three people ... and now he was going to have to add Marlene to the list." Your description of his reaction to Marlene's discovery is just perfect, and funny, and I'm cringing on his behalf. There's something so endearing about a Sirius who has had the wind taken out of his sails. I just want to reach out and hug him!!
I do feel so sorry for these teenagers, feeling that they have to live under a pretence. It being the 70's, attitudes left a lot to be desired, and I'm not surprised that Marlene came up with this plan to disguise her feelings and protect her own back. It must be of some comfort to Sirius that there was someone else in a similar situation.
Awesome work on this first chapter! I loved it! Let me know when the next one's up as I'd love to read more :) Thanks for the swap <3
Brax X
Any access or use of the FanficTalk Archive is conditioned upon compliance with our Site Guidelines and Terms of Service and the Copyright Policy and Privacy Policy contained therein. Should you have any questions about them, you are very welcome to contact any of our archive validators. For advanced searching, please click here.
Any characters, source code, text, or titles contained herein which are recognizable as copyrighted material are the sole property of their owners.