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Hi Chiara! Here for some Potter tag (unless the gods have other plans)!
I enjoyed this deep dive into McGonagalls history. I loved this idea that she sought comfort in a house elf named Edda who helped teach her how to cook biscuits. And the idea of McGonagall cooking her own biscuits gives new depth to her character. I would assume from her canon portrayal that she would've ordered the biscuits up from the kitchens and not have a hand in making them herself. I love that you went the route of her doing that though and cooking becoming a way for her to remember and for her to fond solace in spite of the hardships that have come her way in life.
And of course, her having a soft spot for Remus is adorable. I love that she tries to nuture this career in him, in spite of it being unlikely for him. It seems like something she would do for students who needed it most. And given the snapshot of her experience at Hogwarts, it makes sense that she would act that way to certain students.
I really enjoyed this story, so thanks for writing it!
<3 Courtney
Author's Response:Hi, Courtney! <3
So glad you enjoyed this little fic and my portrayal of McGonagall here! Well, the idea of her making biscuits herself wasn't actually mine, since it was the prompt I was given for the challenge, but I think it makes sense for her character and I suppose it does give depth to her character, too... I'm so glad you liked the Edda backstory and how making biscuits has become a way to honour her memory, as well as giving Minerva solace in hard times! <3
Who wouldn't have a soft spot for Remus? :P He's kind and intelligent and has been dealt such a bad hand... of course she would try to encourage him and help him for what she can... <3
Glad you enjoyed this! Thank you so much for stopping with this lovely review! <3 <3 <3
Hey Chiara! Here for a tag review <3
I love the use of second person for this story. It's so hard to do well but you pull it off so beautifully here with McGonagall's sequence of memories! I too like to think that she looked out for all the kids at Hogwarts as though they were her own giant family, and looked forward to the day when she'd be welcoming them all back to school again after the summer.
The 'discussing careers' scene with Remus is so sweet - both of them know that it's going to be extremely difficult for Remus to navigate the world as a werewolf - but McGonagall is determined to get past Remus's lack of self-confidence and shyness to find out what interests him. I wonder if it surprised her to know that he wanted to teach? But then as soon as he'd voiced his thoughts, she knew it was exactly the right choice for him? And from then on, she's nothing but encouraging and practicalwith the information about which NEWTs to take and so forth.
The delve into McGonagall's past was both fascinating and sad; it's hard to see someone we know as a strong person in a moment of despair. Kids can be pretty cruel :( but Edda was just perfect in the role of support - and better than simply making McGonagall some biscuits, she agreed to help Mcgonagall make them herself.
The flashback to Sirius's Sorting whilst McGonagall is preparing to welcome students at the start of Harry's third year, and all the dementors stirring up memories. How she feels guilty at favouring Sirius and let down by the false story of his betrayal :( OMG - there's a dementor in the kitchen?? And it's awakening more painful memories - of protecting a child and mother, of Dorcas's death, of the love that was taken away from her and that horrible feeling of being 'too late' to save her...and then was it Snape's patronus that came to her rescue in the kitchen at the end?
This was such a clever way to portray McGonagall's memories and really showed different facets of her character, especially her more vulnerable and softer sides. I wonder if Remus got his biscuits and realised he'd have Snape to thank for saving them from burning <3
Loved this!
Meera <3
Author's Response:Hi again, Meera! <3
I'm so glad you liked my use of second person here! It's an unusual perspective, but one I have fun with from time to time. I feel like it truly helps emphasizing the character's emotions! :D
I'm so happy you share my vision of McGonagall as well! I totally think she sees her students as her big family... <3
So glad you found the discussing careers scene with Remus sweet! Poor Remus, of course he would feel discouraged... but Minerva wouldn't let him surrender and descend into autocommiseration, right? ;) I'm not sure if she expected that answer or not, but Remus is born to be a teacher, and I'm sure Minerva would think so, too! <3
So glad you liked that scene from McGonagall's childhood, too! Yes, kids can be cruel... :/ I enjoyed coming up with Edda's character, she was a great support for her! <3
I know... that bit about Sirius is sad... but they all believed him to be the traitor at that point, right? :(
Yes, there is a dementor in the kitchen... :/ bringing back a lot more painful memories... :/ yes, it was Snape's patronus in the end! ;)
So glad you enjoyed this little fic and my interpretation of McGonagall and her softer side! I'm sure Remus got the biscuits, but I don't think he ever knew about Snape's contribution... :P
Thank you so much for the wonderful review, as always! <3
Oh my gosh. As a baker myself and a gigantic fan of McGonnagal, this story was intense! I haven't yet made shortbread, but I have to say, it makes me want to. I absolutely loved that she learned to do it from a house elf there and that she'd go to the kitchens when she felt bullied. The flashbacks were really well done and drew me in even more. This was also the first time I read something in the second person POV that I've really enjoyed. Snape saving her at the end redeemed him in a way I didn't want him to be before. This I loved because she didn't even know it was him. The only thing I might have added at the end was the burnt smell of the cookies, because they would have been in the oven too long. The elves probably left because of the Dementer and therefore also left the cookies. I could see Remus bring Minerva some homemade fudge or something similar. The way you described their relationship just makes me think of her being an Auntie to just about everyone and it's adorable.
Great job!!
Author's Response:Hey, Heather! :)
I'm glad you enjoyed this story! I'm glad you liked my McGonagall and her baking tradition, and Edda's backstory and how the kitchens became her safe haven! :D
I really enjoy using second person from time to time, it really helps emphasizing the character's emotions, and I'm glad it worked for you! Also, glad the flashbacks helped draw you in!
I mean, Snape has many flaws, but I think he truly had deep respect for McGonagall, and I can totally see him coming to her rescue, if he found himself in the right place at the right time. That doesn't excuse some other things he's done in his life, but I don't see him as a completely bad character either...
I can see your point about the burnt biscuits (it would definitely make an effective image), but also I think everything happened very quickly and probably there wasn't the time for the biscuits to burn... and in any case, Minerva was too weak to notice at that point...
Thank you so much again for the lovely review!
Wow... I like how you took one small line from the novels and wrote an entire backstory behind it. I love stories like these! I also like the structure of the story - going back in time but not always in sequential order. That was different and interesting. I don't think I've read a story ike that before.
I like how she believes in her students, particularly Remus. Like she knows he's going to have a hard time, but that doesn't stop her from helping him to the best of her abilities. That doesn't stop her from believing that he could one day teach. She doesn't advise him that there's no point or that it will be hard. She, in her matter-of-fact way, advises him what he's going to need and how to do it. She also believed in Sirius, and of course believed that he had betrayed them all :(
One thing I don't quiet understand- the last scene - what part of the novels is that? Because I thought the main part of the story was Remus coming back to work as a professor, and I don't think a dementor invaded Hogwarts the day before school started in the 3rd year, and that Snape saved her? Unless that was a AU bit?
This has also got me in the mood for making cookies...
Author's Response:Hello again! :D
I'm so glad you liked this fic, too! Actually, the biscuits bit was part of the prompt I got for the challenge, but it immediately sparked inspiration, so it's good! Glad you enjoyed the story and also the style with the interspersed flashbacks! :)
I think McGonagall would 100% be the kind of teacher who would be supportive of her students. Stern and down-to-earth, but still trying her best to encourage them and help them put their potential to good use. And I've also always believed that she had a particular soft spot for the Marauders, because despite all the mischief they were all so talented and kind-hearted... but yes, so sad that she believed Sirius betrayed them (but everyone believed that, so I can't blame her...)
The challenge was about giving a dark twist to a mostly fluffy premise, and I thought that a Dementor could work really well in this context, since we know there were Dementors at Hogwarts during PoA and I felt it just worked within the narration. Obviously, this is not a canon event, but I think it could've potentially happened. Dumbledore didn't want the Dementors inside the castle, but I think it's totally plausible that one of them slipped in anyway at some point...
Thank you so much for the lovely review! <3
Hey Chi!
I love the first section. I think the 2nd person is really effective and completely unique. I love your take on McGonagall. It's nice to imagine that she looks forward to every year. I don't think we get an insight into the teachers views so t's nice to get more layers to her character.
I think it's nice that she wants to speak to Remus before he starts at school properly. I love the dialogue about going to the gallows because I feel it's so in character for her. She has a certain amount of bluntness and sass which I've captured perfectly. I think it's pretty obvious that she cares about Remus because she wouldn't be so strict if she didn't. I think the dialogue from Remus is really good because you've really captured how much shame he feels about being werewolf. I feel really sorry for him but the characterization is spot on, the nervousness is really effective.
The flashback is really interesting. We don't really get to see McGonagall like this. I think we always see her as such a strong character but people do have to go through things, tough things to make them the strong people. It was nice to see her as a younger girl but I'm sad she was bullied. It's so sweet story about her biscuits though. I love a good back story which you're really nailing. I'm really glad that even though Edda has gone that she is still cooking.
I love the description of Sirius through her eyes. I think the description of his eyes are particularly effective at showing what he has been through even as a child. I love how cute baby Sirius and James are together. Sirius is so adorable in this section and you can already to sense the friendship between the two just in this one line of dialogue. The next section is so heartbreaking, I love the vulnerability in her character that you are bringing out. It's the biscuit making that she keeps going back again and again. It is a comfort.
Oh, they're all the horrible memories that she is experiencing because of the dementors. That's so clever. I think you've played the angst so perfectly in this story. She has been through so much as person. She has lost time and time again but she's strong and here to stay. You've made me fall in love with this character again. Beautiful work!
Abbi xx
Author's Response:Hey, Abbi! :)
I'm glad you liked the second person POV and my take on McGonagall. I do believe she would feel that kind of motherly love for her students! <3
Poor Remus, he would feel like he'll never get a good chance to life, don't you think? And yes, I think that McGonagall is being so strict because she cares a lot about him and doesn't want him to play himself down like that... I'm glad you felt they were both in character!
I'm glad you liked the backstory for her biscuits, and to see a more fragile side of her! I agree that our bad experience are what make us stronger!
Glad you liked the memory of Sirius' sorting through her eyes as well! I'm glad his difficult childhood came through and that you appreciated that show of early friendship between him and James! (I'm partial to those kids, can't help it... :P) And, yes, it is painful to remember all these moments for her. I'm glad you liked her finding comfort in baking! <3
Dementors are awful, aren't they? It was a pretty horrible memory, poor Minerva... :( I'm so glad you liked the story overall and my portrayal of her, her fragilities but also her strenght! Thank you so much for stopping by and for the lovely review! <3
Snowball hug,
Chiara
Howdy Chiara!
First I want to comment on the second person POV. It's a really difficult thing to do well and stay consistent with. I know that even the effort I made at it on the archive didn't stay completely faithful to the perspective so I think the way you maintained it, including through flashbacks and all the varying events and emotions in this piece was pretty awesome.
As for the story itself, you really give a depth to McGonagall that we don't get to see a lot of. We know there is depth there later from tidbits of her portrayal in canon as well as post-publication information about her, but you bring it to life. It's interesting to see how she continues her biscuit-making tradition and grows to love her students as family even after the horrible experience she initially has with them. Though that's obviously not the only growth and strength we see from her in the story it's one that really builds on the biscuits of canon.
This story also shows a lot of the strength and resilience indicative of Gryffindor throughout which I thought was exceptional to fit in while also showcasing her vulnerability with Edda.
Thanks for sharing this with us!
Author's Response:Hey, Kevin! :)
Thank you so much for stopping by! :)
I have a big love for second person POV, I'm so glad you thought I did well with it! :)
I'm also so glad you liked my interpretation of McGonagall and the backstory for her biscuits tradition and the way she feels for her students! <3 And that her strength and resilience came through, as well as her more vulnerable side! <3
Thank you so much for stopping by and for the lovely review!
Chiara
Hello again! I'm back with another review for the Hufflepuff mystery exchange.
I thought it was interesting that you have two stories about cooking so I decided to check this one out as well. I'm so glad I did! I absolutely adore Minerva as a character. She has such a compelling and complex history, which youve both hinted at and built upon in this story.
I think, although I loved all of it, that my favorite part of this fic is the section where she gives Remus career advice. It's so heartbreaking to see Remus' dejection and hopelessness, but her insistance on believing in his ability is wonderful. He deserves that. It takes a lot of strength to hold out hope for others in tough situations, sometimes. I'm grateful Minerva was able to do that for him.
OH MY GOSH Edda! Edda seems like she'd get along with us fairies, I have to say. What a lovely elf! I am so grateful she was there to take cae of young Minerva and comfort her, and she was even better than just comfort. She taught Minerva a way to comfort herself whcih is even more powerful. This section was so sweet.
I wish I could take her by the shoulders and shout "SIRIUS IS INNOCENT!" But it isn't her fault. The part with the Sortig slayed me. So unbelievably touching to see that very early interaction between James and Sirius - and even more so when Minerva remembers it as if it has betrayed her.
Why is there a dementor in the kitchen?? Oh no! Thank goodness someone found her there. I assume it's meant to be Snape. I admit, i wish it would have been Remus :P
When Minerva refers to Dorcas as "your love" does that mean they were girlfriends? I'm going with yes. :D Very tragic that Minervahad to witness her death.
So it took me until this point in the review to realize the story is written in second person?! You did that SO FREAKING WELL, oh my goodness! I think 2nd persond can often have a cool effect in short pieces, but it does tend to create a strong stylistic style and can attract a lot of attention way from the story. You managed o do it so, so naturally that i didn't even think about it. I am SO IMPRESSED by this.
A wonderful story as always!!
Happy Holidays from Fata di Capodanno! xo
Author's Response:Hi again! :)
This story was actually written a while ago, for a challenge on HPFF. I would've never thought that I would write about Minerva, if it wasn't for the prompt... but I did love writing about her! <3
Remus needs all the encouragement he can get, poor boy... I'm very glad Minerva could provide that for him, too! <3 (That's my favourite scene as well, for obvious reasons... :P)
Edda is really a lovely elf! <3
Everyone thought Sirius was guilty at that point... :( I'm glad you liked the Sorting bit, even if it was a bit sad given Minerva's thoughts about him...
Dementors are the worst! Fortunately Snape managed to save her (I thought Snape was a good choice... he's not the best person, but I do believe he had deep respect for Minerva and would come to her rescue if he got the chance... and Remus wasn't there yet, so... :P)
Yes, they were girlfriends... very tragic, indeed... :(
I'm so glad you liked the second person, too! Or at least, that it felt natural! :)
Thank you so much, my dear!
Love,
Chiara
Hi Chiara! I’m here for my end of the review swap, which has been way too long overdue! (I’m really so sorry about that, real life got in the way pretty badly…) Anyways, this story looked interesting to me, so here I am!
McGonagall is one of my favorite characters, so I really like the way you characterized her! Especially since she comes off as caring yet strict as she is in the books. I’m also sort of wary what sort of twist you could have cooked up though. This is already so sweet! I don’t want it to change.
As always, Remus’ lack of self-esteem makes my heart hurt. He has so little faith in himself, but when he’s dealt with such a bad set of cards, I sort of understand.
As a teenager, Minerva is so much more vulnerable, and it’s nice. To know that she isn’t always that strong, but then she became that person is so hopeful, you know? And giving that background with Edda and the biscuits was so sweet! I’ve never really thought too much about her biscuits, but this really adds a lot more depth, you know?
NO WAIT. It’s even sadder now, now that McGonagall thinks that Sirius genuinely is the bad guy. I can’t imagine feeling so betrayed by one of the students you have loved so much, but also I wish she knew the truth of this whole matter.
The way the tone changed in the story gave me whiplash. Seeing McGonagall being described is honestly disheartening because she’s not usually a woman you usually see being as described that? So when she is, you feel like you’re being told that it’s truly a helpless situation.
Oh, thank god that someone saved McGonagall. I think I would have cried if she really did die in the end. She really is one of my favorite characters, honestly.
I wonder who the patronus belonged to? If Lily is dead, the only other person with a doe patronus is Snape, and… he’s not really a person I want to be grateful to? But he did save McGonagall’s life (if he was the one who did).
Thank you for writing! xx
Author's Response:Hi! :D
Thank you so much for swapping and for the lovely review!!! <3
I'm so glad you enjoyed my McGonagall! Yes, I've always thought that despite her strictness she would truly care about all her students and I'm glad that came across and that you liked it! <3
Poor Remus... yes, he has such low self-esteem... but considering how werewolves are seen in the wizarding society, I think that's inevitable... but yes, it makes me so sad as well... :(
We all have our vulnerabilities, don't we? Especially when we are younger... I'm so glad you liked the Edda backstory, I did love that idea when it first came to mind! <3
Everyone thought Sirius was the bad guy at that point... yes, it's sad... but at least she's going to find out the truth soon!
Being caught off guard by a Dementor is pretty hopeless... :/ Poor Minerva... fortunately she was saved, yes! (And yes, that was Snape... I know he's not the best person around, but I do believe he would try to protect her... and I also believe he has a lot of respect for her... I have mixed feelings for Snape, to be honest... I don't love him, but I don't hate him, either... :P)
Thank you for the lovely review! :)
Very nicely written, and a wonderful overview of this character who remains an enigma in canon. I like all the various glimpses at people Minerva has cared about, and her life as a student. At first when I read it I felt unclear as to how all these memories were supposed to be connected for the purpose of incluing them in one oneshot together, but upon a re-reading it made more sense to me. It's like a progressive train of thought as she goes to the kitchens on this one occasion, memories just presenting themselves to her. I think thats something a lot of people experience regularly.
In the end, what I liked about it was that you were able to give a jam-packed look at Minerva's life and feelings. I like that you took this thing from canon - her tin of biscuits - and made it something signifcant in her life.
Second person is interesting. I myself have used it in one of my fics (ALSO about Minerva, weirdly enough...) and I think it's a great way of making the reader identify with your character. It doesn't always work, but when the fic involves a lot of introspection, I think it can be used to great effect!
Your writing flows beautifully, BTW, and is very natural. Great read!
Author's Response:Melanie!!!
Welcome to my AP, my dear! :) (And sorry if I'm replying to this so late... also, have we really known each other for 6 months already? How time flies... :O)
I'm so glad you liked my McGonagall and this journey into her life and all her thoughts about the prople she cared about. Yes, that was what I was going for. a sort of stream of consciousness as she bakes her biscuits for Remus. I'm glad you liked it in its complex, even if it felt a bit confusing at first! :)
I really love second person! I've used it a few times and I do feel like it helps connecting with the character! :)
Thank you so much! So glad you enjoyed this!
Snowball hug,
Chiara
Hey here for our swap!
This was really well written. You captured McGonagall's character perfectly. I'm sure she had a huge soft spot for the Marauders and their pranks. I loved the flashback to Remus' career advice session and him admitting that he wanted to be a teacher.
The flashback with the House Elf was rather sweet.
The memory of her watching Dorcas, her love die was heartbreaking. She can't believe that Sirius would betray the Potters and still thinks it during the story.
Great Job.
Author's Response:Hello, Delaney! Thank you for the swap and the lovely review! :)
I'm so glad you liked the story and thought it was well written! And that you liked my interpretation of McGonagall! :) I agree, I'm sure she had a soft spot for the Marauders, too! (I mean, who doesn't? :P) And Remus is just precious! <3
Glad you found the Edda backstory sweet! :)
The Dorcas bit was really heartbreaking, yes... :( And it's so sad that everyone thought that Sirius was the traitor... :(
Thank you so much again for the lovely review!
Ahh once again, I’m so sorry for the long wait! The HC is finally winding down, so I get to concentrate on reviews again. I picked this story for your last review for two reasons: (1) I love Minerva McGonagall, and (2) I love the quiet affection she shows her students. And this piece did not disappoint! I read this while eating warm brownies with milk and cuddling up under a really warm blanket, so I felt the warmth of this story quite strongly, even when it got to the darker parts. There were so many things I loved!! Where do I even begin!
I absolutely loved the intertwining of memory with the present day; I thought that wove a lot of feeling into this story, and it made me feel really emotional at times and gave me lots of feels. For instance! That one scene when she’s talking to a younger Remus Lupin, when she knows how he was one of her favorites, and she wanted to encourage him to do what he loved despite the discrimination he faced? And I love the way you wrote her dialogue! She’s so firm and strict-sounding, yet she obviously cares. “Stop acting like you’re going to the gallows” is my favorite thing ever hahaha. Such a McGonagall thing to say. <3 And Remus! AHH he was so sweet when he was a teenager, despite having suffered through so many terrible things. The way he quickly mumbled that he wanted to be a teacher, and the way that McGonagall encouraged him, was so heartwarming omg. It makes perfect sense that this is something he wanted to do when he was younger—and it makes his present day presence at the school more bittersweet. <3
And the backstory! I never imagined that McGonagall made the biscuits herself for some reason, but it’s really the perfect headcanon to have of her, that she grew up in Hogwarts making biscuits with her favorite kind house elf, Edda…and now she wants to continue making biscuits for her students, to make them feel more comfortable. Ugh I loved the backstory in this so so much, it made me want to wrap her up and give her a big giant hug (though I probably wouldn’t because McGonagall doesn’t seem like a very huggy person haha).
Her reminiscing about how no one saw the evil in Sirius Black was heartbreaking, Chiara, how could you do this to me?? I always forget that there was a time when Sirius Black was considered the most traitorous, horrible person, and the fact that everyone believed this for a while is awful, and makes you think about how terrible the Marauders really had it. AHH I’m so sad now haha.
OH NO, DORCAS. I wanted to mourn along with McGonagall when that happened. And I got so worried when the dementor came and almost ruined her biscuits, that she wouldn’t be able to retrieve her wand, but I’m glad that she was saved! By Snape, nonetheless—makes me wonder what Snape thought of her. He must’ve respected her, right? Because who wouldn’t respect Minerva McGonagall? <3
The angst is so strong in this story omg, and you write it so well! I was so absorbed into the story, and I honestly feel like your writing has just been continuing to get better and better and better?? I’m really really impressed with this! I love you! <3
Love,
Eva
Author's Response:Hi again, sweety! <3
Minerva McGonagall is brilliant! I'm so glad you enjoyed what I did with her here! <3 (reading this while eating warm brownies seems super fitting, btw :P)
I'm so glad you liked the mix of memories and present day! I was scared it might turn out confusing, so I'm glad it worked and that it helped to convey the emotions! I do believe that behind her strictness there was a lot of care for her students! And who wouldn't love Remus, honestly? The poor boy deserved so much more than what he got... :(
I'm so glad you loved the Edda backstory, too! I do love that one as well! <3
Ah, yes, I know... it's so cruel the way everyone believed Sirius a traitor and a murderer... at least the truth will come out soon? *hugs*
I broke my own heart a little with the Dorcas bit... :( It was really lucky that Snape got there in time to save her! I know you don't particularly like Snape, but yes, I do believe he had great esteem of McGonagall, at least!
Aww, thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed this!
Snowball hug,
Chiara
Oh, dear Chiara! I love this story. It's got all the angst wrapped up nicely in your words.
I love how you've used Minerva McGonagall as your protaganist in your story. She's such a powerful example of a women you can find in literature today. She suffers no one and gets straight to work on what needs to be done. This time, it's making biscuits aka cookies for our beloved werewolf.
Minerva has such a caring soul, even as (in this story at least) she was bullied by the other students at Hogwarts. I'm so glad she'd found a mentor in Edda, the whizened old house elf in the kitchens. That she found the perfect outlet for her sorrows in making a sweet treat. It seems even house elves can be mentors also. (Look at how Dobby affected Harry's life in the short span he was in it!)
There were so many surprises in your vignettes through out the story. That Remus admitting he wanted to be a teacher (professor) was haunting. Poor kid knew he stood little chance to be anything in this magical world because of the prejudges of the world they lived in. Soo sad!
Then you revealed that Minerva had another favorite. Sirius Black. But why wouldn't she? He was the perfect rebel in her House. He was breaking the mould of the House Black like his cousin Andromeda did when she met, fell in love and married Ted Tonks, a muggleborn.
It had to have hurt extremely when the news broke out (wrongly) that he'd murdered (For the Dark Lord) James, Lily and Peter. How could she have been so wrong? (Newsflash, she wasn't, but it would take another decade plus for that to be revealed).
Throughout this story, you've shown her a fighter, willing to stand for her convictions. Even with the loss of her dear Dorcas she continued on (as we know) even with that pain that has bowed many to the knee. She grieved, yes, but she continued on in her most Professor Minerva McGonagall way.
The ending though, was what made me squee with happiness. Even if Minerva didn't realize who her savior was, I have an inckling - Severus Snape. (Poke me if I'm wrong!) So glad she was saved either way, because she's needed to fight further in the battles that are coming.
It was just perfect that Snape would continue keeping his secret status even as he helped where he could.
Again, I loved this story! <3juls
Author's Response:Hey, Juls! :D
Ah, I so love Minerva! I will admit, I would've never thought I'd write a story focusing on her if it wasn't for this challenge, but I really loved the experience! She's awesome!
House elves can definitely be mentors and have a lot to teach. I'm glad you liked the friendship with Edda, I found the idea so endearing when I first had it... <3
Remus was a brilliant teacher and for some reason I think that it would be what he would've dreamt of doing if he actually had any chance... it is so sad that the world would reject him that way... :(
It is also so terribly sad that everyone believed Sirius to be the spy... and that he never really got the chance to clear his name... :( at least Minerva knew the truth in the end... :(
Minerva is incredibly strong, yes. And after all, even when grief hits us, we have to go on, don't we? I'm glad you liked that in her!
Yes, that was Snape who saved her! Whatever Severus is, I do believe that he had great esteem of McGonagall, and I do believe that he was truly focused on fighting for the bright side, even if he didn't show it!
Thank you so much for the lovely review, my dear! <3
Hello Chiara!
This was a very sweet and interesting little story! I really enjoyed your use of second person. It's a very rare and daring choice that I think you handled well.
I also really enjoyed the format that this story took on, with the present day interspersed with related flashbacks. The Remus scene was probably my favorite, as I have a soft spot for him (and assume you do as well, considering your penname, so it's no surprise it stood out)!
Also, I found the unanswered ending of who saved McGonagall to be a nice touch. It's obviously hinted at to be Snape, which brings its own special twist in, but I like that it's still truly only speculative.
That said, I think the story falls a bit short on the technical side of things. I know that English isn't your first language, and it's excellent considering that. But I would suggest a native speaker to take a look at the writing with a more critical eye, as I noticed a handful of slightly misused words and phrases. Here are a few examples:
"coming back at* Hogwarts as a teacher" - *to, not at
"You step into the kitchens and inspire* deeply." - I think you maybe mean inhale?
"you've perfectionate* her recipe" - perfected, not perfectionate
Just little technical things like that! But overall I enjoyed the story. Well done!
Tanya
Author's Response:Hey, there, Tanya! Thank you for checking out this little story! :)
I love second person, it helps creating this deep emotional link with the characters... I'm glad you think I handled it well here! :)
Remus is my absolute favourite, so I was super thrilled when I received my prompt! :P I think the scene of his orientation meeting is my favourite as well. :)
Yes, I meant for her saviour to be Snape, but I wanted it be left unclear, at least for her. Glad you liked that it remains a bit vague.
And yes... I wrote this story a while ago and never had it betaed and never tried to edit it when I moved it from HPFF... so I guess there are a few mistakes and misused words... (I hate English... sorry...) Maybe sometime I'll go back and fix a few things...
Thank you so much for your lovely review!
Chiara
Chiaraaa!
Here I am for our swap!
I always have a sweet spot for both Remus and McGonagall so naturally I just had to go and review this one, and I am pleasantly surprised by it!
First of all I must say how I liked how you set the scene. From how Minerva came to the decision to make the biscuits, and how Remus was so important to that specific decision. Especially the flashback to Remus' career advise was absolutely spot on, if you ask me, from both sides, and I really, truly wanted to hug him and tell him everything would be okay (even if it.. later would not). It's truly a great show of character from both sides here!
I also loved how the biscuits came to be - a way of making herself feel better and how it would make others feel better too. It makes perfect sense as to why she insists on students taking a biscuit and not wanting to take no for an answer there. It also shows how Minerva isn't always strong, even though she wants to be, and how even in sad times she downplays how she feels. Really well done.
But then you completely turned it around by making the safe space completely unsafe as it is, bringing back memories I certainly did not expect but were definitely interesting and I honestly want to know now how those two came to be like holy mother of god? It was a surprising turn of events.
BUT THEN SNAPE. THE DOE. Like oh my god. It's a great thing that you never let her know who the saviour was, but it also gives a good glimpse of his character and how he was on the 'good side' too by doing something like this. Really, brilliantly done and it made for one hell of a plottwist if you ask me.
Absolute great job! I'm really glad i chose this story to review!
Author's Response:Inekeee!!! <3
So glad you enjoyed this story, my dear! It's always a pleasure swapping with you (we should do that more often...)
I'm glad you enjoyed the setting, and McGonagall making her biscuits for Remus. And yeah, the career advice scene was probably my favourite, and I'm glad you liked my interpretation of the characters there.
I'm glad you liked to see a more fragile side to Minerva and that you enjoyed the backstory for her biscuits. After all, she's only human, so she would have weak moments like everyone else, right?
This was for the dark turn challenge, so I had to... turn it dark? I did break my own heart a tiny bit with the scene of Dorcas' death, I'll admit... as for how they came to be... I'm actually not sure, but Minerva/Dorcas is a pairing I really want to explore more... maybe I will write more about them one day?
I'm glad you liked Snape as her unknown saviour. I don't really like him, but I do believe he had great esteem of McGonagall and that he would come to her help if he got the chance. And of course, he is on the good side.
Thank you so much for the lovely review, I'm so glad you liked it! Also, sorry if my reply doesn't make much sense... it's almost 11pm and I'm falling asleep... :/
Love you,
Chiara
Hello hello, I'm here to sprinkle a little love onto your story; Valentine's Day was just this past month, don't you know? :)
This was a great little one-shot. The second person POV was great at grabbing your attention, and you did a great job writing McGonagall; she's so hard to get right, and you did a fantastic job. I loved her conversation with Remus about his future; it totally seems like something she would do. And I loved that this was all centered around her biscuits, and that she learned to make them from scratch rather than from magic. If I hadn't just eaten dinner, I surely would've been hungry!
And oh, her worst memory of Dorcas dying; that was so horrible. :( I'm glad Remus was there [I'm assuming it was Remus] to save her from the Dementor, though! It was a very fitting end and brought everything into almost a circle.
Great job! ♥
Author's Response:Hello, my sweet fellow badger (or should I say Jill... :P)
Thank you so much for stopping by with this lovely review! <3
So glad you liked my Minnie! :) I will admit, I would have never dared write her if it wasn't for the challenge, but it seems it worked out in the end, so I'm happy!
Glad you liked her conversation with Remus (yes, she would try to encourage him that way) and the story behind her biscuits. :) And yes, Dorcas... :(
Actually, no, it wasn't Remus to save her, it was Snape... Hope that doesn't ruin it for you?
Thank you so much, it was so lovely to receive this review!
This was so well written!!!! I loved it! The way you portrayed McGonagall was flawless! I wish I had your skills with that aspect of writing. Where did you get the inspiration to write this? I was hooked from the beginning. You are a great writer and I am in awe at your skills. I can only hope that I can write with that much skill in the future.
Author's Response:Hey, there, Meg! :)
Sorry if I'm answering only now... it's been a busy period...
I'm so glad you enjoyed reading this and that you liked my interpretation of McGonagall. :) I'm not exactly sure where the inspiration came from... well, it was for a challenge, and McGonagall baking biscuits was the prompt I was given... but I can't really tell how the structure and the content of the story built up, it just happened. (I have a weirdly functioning brain...)
Thank you so much for the review and the swap!
Chiara
Hi Chiara! Here for our review swap! :)
I wanted to go back to Liar, but I couldn't remember where I'd got to before and I didn't want to double-review something I'd already read (it seemed like it would be unfair), so I was scrolling down our page and I saw this. I love friendship fics, I love McGonagall and Lupin, so it seemed like such a perfect find :)
I love that the whole story kinda revolves around these biscuits she makes: we learn how she learned to make them and who from, we see her make them again and who she makes them (and made them for), the things and the people they remind her of, and the incident at the end which happens because she decided to go and make them. They create this lovely theme which never overwhelms the story, you know, it just frames it so beautifully. Also I love that it's an image of her baking because so often in the books we see her as this stern, upright, strong lady, with all the power and the authority and everything, so it's lovely to see a different side to her - and a hobby that I wouldn't necessarily have paired her with :)
You write her and Remus and Sirius and all of them so, so well. I love the way you write her conversation with Remus about jobs and his future - it's so vivid and there's something so raw about his feeling in it, the kind of hopelessness he feels and the melancholy about 'well it's never going to happen, so why bother?'. It's so sad and it really gets at all the deep-seated prejudice he faced. Poor Remus :( But I loved how Minerva was so supportive, even if there wasn't too much she could do to help him personally, encouraging him to think about it and to admit what he wanted - and how excited she is to see him coming back to Hogwarts, having got what he wanted. It's so sweet and so kind, which seems so very her.
Also, I love how the story starts off so happy - Remus coming back, Minerva wanting to give him a gift, so excited and pleased for him; the memories of the conversation where she was so supportive - and then slowly retreats into the bleakness of the encounter with the Dementor and the reminders that there had been a war and people, including Minerva, had lost people they cared about and loved. I loved how you mentioned Sirius and how she felt so torn by his perceived betrayal - it must have been so hard, you know, as a teacher to see kids you've sort of helped raise grow up to do those kinds of things - especially when you don't see it coming. It must be so easy to spend all your time wondering whether you missed something, you know?
And Dorcas. I loved how you included her, how you included the end of their ill-fated romance with the Dementor arriving, that being her worst memory, how it forces her to relieve the moment of it. It's awful and the way you write it is so bleak and so blunt, it almost hurts.
And secret hero!Snape, haha. I like how Minerva doesn't know it's him, how she's too exhausted to think or realise or even really see. The physicality of that kind of emotional exhaustion is never really mentioned in the books, with Dementors, but I love that you gave it that side of it - it's such a cool idea, and so true to life, yk?
Ahhh, this was a really, really lovely one-shot! It's so beautiful and so sad, and I really, really enjoyed it! :)
Aph xx
Author's Response:Hi, Laura! Thank you so much for the swap and for this lovely review, and sorry for the late reply!
I'm happy you liked the biscuits' theme and how it links the different moments and memories in the story and how it shows a different side to McGonagall than the stern Professor we see in the books. I do love this more soft and emotional side of her.
I'm glad you liked the bit about Remus' job orientation. Yes, it is sad that he has to face all that prejudice and that he can't really hope to get what he really wants, but I do think she would be supportive and encouraging and it is sweet that he did realize his ambition in the end and that she is so happy for him.
This was written for the dark turn challenge, so a change in mood was necessary. I'm glad you liked how it slowly changes from happy to painful. The Sirius' bit was really sad and as a teacher she must have had a hard time accepting what happened. :(
And yes, Dorcas... it's such a painful memory for her and it is awful that the Dementor forced her to relive that.
Yay for Snape! He arrives at the right time, doesn't he? I'm glad you found that physical exhaustion believable.
I'm so glad you enjoyed reading this, thank you so much for your lovely review!
Much love,
Chiara
Oh wow. That was an intense story. *coughs awkwardly while trying to find something more constructive to say*
Okay, so I really liked this. You did an amazing job with McGonagall's character, especially in the flashbacks. I definitely agree that Remus would have been one of her favourite students, and I could totally see her being excited to be working with him and baking biscuits for him. He was the one who cast the spell, right?! It's mentioned that it looks a bit like a doe...so was it Snape maybe? I still think it's Remus because the idea of him saving her from a demented while she made him biscuits is just perfect :)
The flashbacks! I think you made them work extremely well, and they gave me a much deeper insight into McGonagall's character. You managed to effortlessly convey powerful emotions while still having a good storyline. I honestly wanted to scream when McGonagall was talking about Sirius being bad- HE IS GOOD AND HE IS NOT A DEATH EATER :( And the scene with Dorcas...methinks I have too many emotions. I'd never imagined McGonagall and Dorcas together but the line "she was more than your ally" etc was just so convincing and I could actually picture them as a couple. Then came "And now she was dead" and it hit me hard, I felt so sorry for McGonagall :(
But anyway, I think you did a wonderful job with this! I think some parts were just a bit rushed, like the demented scene, but it mostly felt all natural, and I loved the interaction between Lupin and McGonagall. Well done :)
Author's Response:Hey, there! Hello! Thank you so much for this lovely surprise review! :D
I'm so glad you liked my portrayal of McGonagall and all the memories and also the special affection she has for Remus. Who wouldn't love him, honestly?
It was Snape who saved her in the end, also because Remus wasn't at Hogwarts yet in that moment. But I can see why you would like the idea of Remus saving her instead...
I'm so glad the flashbacks helped giving McGonagall's character more depht and that you felt they weaved well with the biscuits' storyline. Yes, I know... it's sad how everyone believed Sirius was guilty... :( And yes, Dorcas... :'( I've never really thought about them as a couple either, before writing this. But we actually don't know much about Dorcas' character, so why not? I'm sorry this was so painful.
Thank you so much, I'm so glad you loved this!
Thank you for the lovely review!
Chiara
Hi Chiara :) I thought I’d leave you a review after reading this ;) It was a great story, thank you for posting it! As you probably know I’m a big fan of Lupin. Also one of my favourite moments about McGonagall is that she offers biscuits to students (Harry), so I love the idea that you use this biscuit theme (yes, I know it was a challenge prompt, but still you are the one who took it, so you deserve credit ;-))
Your title suggests a somewhat melancholic story, at least to me, with the word memories, but then you have a cheerful opening. Which I actually like, and which makes me anticipate, how everything is going to turn out. (We all know that this year has dark things to come…)
I think you introduce Lupin in a perfect way. He was McGonagall’s favourite student, well I can imagine that :) The quiet knock is also something that I think characterizes him very well. Poor, sickly-looking Lupin. The only thing maybe you could improve here, is that I was confused by why the second part was in italics. I didn’t realize until quite the end that this was in the past when Remus was still a student. So unless this was your intention, you could maybe give us some clue for the change. (I was going like “pamphlets the Ministry provided” whoa, what are those? :))
I like the idea that McGonagall goes to the kitchen to make biscuits! It’s that we always see her as a strickt teacher, but she must have other moments, and I can totally imagine cooking/baking as being one of those. And it’s a lovely story that she discovered the Hogwarts kitchen by accident and learned the biscuit recipe from a houseelf. “Pastry making is not so different from Transfiguration.” I lovbe this line!
And then in the end we get the dark part I was expecting based on the title, with the dementors. I liked the first part better, but I acknowledge that you can’t write an all positive story from this time. Overall I think you did a great job, thank you for a nice read!
Author's Response:Hi, Vilja! Thank you for stopping by and leaving a review, I'm glad you enjoyed the story!
I just got this as a random prompt, but I was so thrilled when I saw it! I mean, you know how much I love Remus as well...
I guess this is a bit of a melancholic story. The challenge was about taking a happy premise and then give it a dark twist, and that's what I've tried to do. I hope it worked.
I can totally imagine Remus being her favourite student. :D I'm glad you liked my portrayal of him. :)
I'm sorry the jump backwards in time confounded you... I honestly don't know how I could make it clearer, but I might go back and see if I can change it a bit...
I liked the idea of giving a backstory to McGonagall's buscuits, and I'm so glad you liked it! And there really is something magical about baking, isn't there? I find it a wonderful sensation!
As I said, this had to turn dark because that was what the challenge was about. I'm glad you liked the story overall.
Thank you for the lovely review,
Chiara
Transferred :)
Hmm, what else can I read of Chiara's while I'm procrastinating my own writing...
Ooh a second person POV story! I love these, they're rare and so different! Aaand a Lupin one! Hooray!
Aw it's so sad to see Remus so pessimistic about his future :( I mean, we know he was, but it still makes me sad to read it!
As I was reading I was really wishing for a little story to McGonagall's biscuits, and my wish was granted! And it was so sweet! I love how many details about McGonagall's past you included, like her being in Scotland, Dorcas, and remembering Sirius' sorting after recent events (it still breaks my heart that people thought he was guilty for so long, wahh!)
Comparing baking to magic was a beautiful reference too.
Is anyone else hungry?
And oh her worst memory :(
Your characterisation of McGonagall is just perfect. She's so tough, but has weaknesses and dark moments, and I love how she chose to make the biscuits by hand rather than magic. Beautiful work as always Chiara!
Love B ♥
Author's Response:B!!!
You can read whatever you want, my dear!
You can tell that I love second person too! :D
Poor Remus... Yes, he is so pessimistic... and he has good reason to be... poor kid...
Ah, I'm so glad about it! Edda's story is cute, isn't it? I loved writing about her!
So glad you liked the details about McGonagall's life... And yes, Sirius... that's so sad... :(
Isn't baking sort of magical? I wrote this story not long after my birthday, and I had baked my own cake because I'm celiac. I felt this sense of peace as I kneaded... I tried to put that feeling in this story.
Aww... her worst memory... Dorcas... :'(
Aww, thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked my portrayal of McGonagall!
Lots of love, honey!
Chi
Chiara!!
I was really intriged by the prompt and decided to log in, especially since Remus is your favorite Marauder, I really wanted to know how you pictured him. I wish we could have seen more of him though!
Ooh 2nd person writing! You've done it so tastefully. I've read a whole bunch of 2nd person which is just so weird and sloppily done. This way, I almost felt like I was looking out of McGonagall's head (probably how Harry felt when he was seeing Voldemort's memorites lol!)
Coming to Remus - I love that even as a teenager you showed him bitter and resentful of his condition, while being realistic about it (even to the point of pessimism). I'm falling more an dmore in love with him as I explore him through my writings, and yours too now :D
McGonagall baking and doing something so, motherly, seemed OOC to me, but the way you wrote it flowed really well. Especially linking with her flashback made more sense. My heart broke when she (like everyone else) assumed Sirius to be the traitor *sniff*.
I simply loved your passage about the Dementor. It was really unexpected because I just expected a fluffy ending. But the transition was superbly done. It was the passage with the dementor that set the appropriate mood. And your insights into younger McGonagall were interesting to read. The Edda story brought out her vulnerability, and her compassion towards other magical creatures. In the books we generally see a very guarded version of McGonagall, rarely displaying emotion and if she did it was mostly that of anger.
I thought Remus would be the one to save her, him and Patronuses and all. I was surprised to see Snape there.
Lovely job there! Looking forward to reading more Remus from you :D
Love,
Ysh
Author's Response:Hey, Ysh!
Oh, thank you! This surprise review made me so happy!!! :)
Ahahah! I was so thrilled when I got that prompt! And I really wanted to write something that focused on Remus!!! But my muse had other ideas... :P
Oh... He is so lovely...
I imagine him to be quite disillusioned. He is an intelligent boy, and I'm quite sure he has met a lot of prejudiced people, even at that age. Sure, the Marauders accepted him, but I believe he always thought they were an exception. I think he would be quite bitter about his condition (even if it makes me sad...)
Of course this isn't the Minerva McGonagall we're used to see, but we have never really see her when she's alone with herself. While we see that she is very strict with her students, we also know that she has a big heart and that she deeply loves them. I wanted to show a more private dimension of her character. It's a personal interpretation, of course, that can be shared or not. But verosimilar, I think.
Oh, I know... But I suppose Sirius' guiltiness was hardly questionable. Everyone knew James had asked him to be secret keeper, and no one could imagine the swap to Peter. McGonagall will find out the truth soon, anyway (if this can be of any consolation...)
The Dementor caught a few people by surprise, it seems... Curious, because for a story with this setting, it seemed to me the most natural choice for a dark turn. I'm really happy you found it powerful!!!
Oh, Edda's story is just adorable, isn't it? I'm so glad you enjoyed Minerva as a child!!!
Well, it couldn't be Remus because he wasn't there yet. I considered Dumbledore, but in the end I felt Snape worked better.
Oh, thank you so much again! I'm so happy you liked this story!!!
Much, much love!
Chiara
*Transferred review, originally posted anonymously as Remus Lupin*
Oh, that's me again in the story! The fact that Minerva considered me to be one of her favourite students warms my heart. She was one of my favourite teachers when I was a student at Hogwarts.
I love the comparison of baking to Transfiguration! When you put it that way, it makes perfect sense that McGonagall enjoys (and is good at) baking.
What's especially wonderful is the context you've given to each time McGonagall offers a student a biscuit - it's not just a random tin she bought at a shop, but something she baked herself, and with all this backstory of the elves who helped her learn how to bake when she was a student, and the people she has impacted while at the same time offering them a biscuit (myself included!) it makes those moments of the story so much richer.
Poor Sirius. It's so sad that McGonagall (and I) spent so many years thinking he was guilty and trying to hate him.
This was such a cute story, and I really didn't expect the dark turn at the end there, with the dementor and then her worst memory. That was so sad to see her lose Dorcas like that. Was that Snape at the end who saved her with the Patronus? It appears I'd underestimated Snape, he really came through in what could otherwise have been a terrible moment.
Last but not least, the structure of this is wonderful, how it weaves in and out of memories and in the present. Memories don't always pop up in a linear way, so this felt very natural and I thought it added a lot to the story. And your writing of McGonagall is perfectly in character.
Another Outstanding for you!
Love,
Remus
Author's Response:Kristin! Have I told you how much I loved your reviews as Remus? You are the bestest secret valentine ever!!!
Anyway, here's my transferred response ;)
You might discover that 90% of my stories are about you (and I'm not even sorry)! And well, if I were Minerva, I would consider you one of my favourite students as well. :)
Baking has that sort of magic, doesn't it? I think McGonagall would see that connection. I'm glad you liked to see the backstory to her biscuits and the way they affected so many people in her life. :)
Yes... that's very sad... at least you found out the truth in the end...
That was quite unexpected. Yes, so sad, I know... It was Snape who saved her, didn't I tell you that he's a better person than what you thought?
Oh, you make me blush, thank you! I'm so glad you liked the structure and the non-linearity of the memories. And also that you found I captured McGonagall well. It's so nice of you!
Thank you again, honey! (And please, if you happen to meet Kristin, give her a huge hug from me)!
Tons of love,
Chiara
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