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It continues to impress me how well you write Tom. "In their success, Tom had said, he wanted to be recognized." Of course, he does.
Finn's dad knows about Brindley! I'm not surprised he's keeping tabs on Finn, tbh. But ugh.
The way you're going about Finn getting the dark mark is absolutely brilliant by the way. I love that he doesn't entirely know what's going on. It reminds us that despite Brindley, he's still getting sucked in deeper and deeper...
And Brindley! We finally found out what's going with her illness... I'm still really hoping that Finn finds a way of helping her. Although doing so by throwing another student under the bus, sort of speak, isn't right either! But he's under so much pressure so he might give in.
Brilliant chapter. Like always! Can't wait for the next one!
-transferred from HPFF-
I'm finally all caught up with this story and floored with your writing skills!
First of all, let me start by telling you I miss Hero. That first chapter was so hard to read. :( I really felt for Finn, and it made me really bitter towards Tom.
Speaking of Finn... I love, love Finn. I liked him in Hero, and I love him even more here. He's so wonderful, and he gives me all the feels. He makes me laugh and want to cry at the same time but he's so adorable and funny but has such a tragic story.
And Brindley. She's so sweet with the perfect amount of sassy. She's exactly what Finn needs so I'm praying her illness isn't anything terminal. I really want her to be okay. I really want them to be grow up, get married, have babies, and live happily ever after away from Tom Riddle and all his evilness...
What I love the most about your writing is how easy it is to get attached to the characters. They're so well crafted that they feel real to the reader. That's very hard to do so I applaud you on that front.
Please update soon. I'll be constantly checking. Although I know it'll be worth the wait when we finally get a new chapter.
HELLO LOVELY NEW CHAPTER OF HTF YAY!♥♥♥
Okay so I'm a little annoyed that Finn sold out some poor innocent girl in order to keep Brindley safe, but I could see how - in his twisted mind - it was the right thing to do. It's quite Slytherin of him, really. I'm also curious because it seems as though he's okay even after being tortured, but I have a feeling that's where his mind has been.
FINN AND BRINDLEY ON THE MOUNTAIN. I REPEAT, FINN AND BRINDLEY ON THE MOUNTAIN! Okay, it doesn't totally make up for the last chapter but it's really freaking adorable and I'm going to pretend that it does because they're wonderful and amazing and #otp. I'm glad that she wasn't hesitant about wanting to be with him, that it was clearly something she wanted.
ALSO, loved this line: "I am not going to break, Finn." I love how precious and concerned he is for her and she's just like, "lol, boy, PLEASE."
Hero hath made an appearance! I was excited about this scene and curious how you were going to do it. Interesting choice that her grave is next to Myrtle's - was that done on purpose? LOOK AT THEM GETTING ALONG AND FINN TALKING TO GHOSTS.
That's right, Finn, don't trust Tom. He's a psychopath. A pretty one, I know you don't care about that, but he's a psychopath.
I'm so anxious to see how he's going to react when he finds out the truth about Hero's death.
Another fantastic chapter, my love!
♥♥♥♥J
BIANCA HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO MY PRECIOUS BABY AND JUST END THE CHAPTER THERE!
We're in a fight.
But seriously, this chapter was awesome! I'm having a hard time deciding if my favorite part was the scene with Ben and Finn (CAN THEY START A REVOLUTION TOGETHER PLEASE) or Finn and Brindley. I mean, this pretty much stole my heart: "I'd rather spend a few days with you than anyone else." UGH poor babies.
I love how much Finn has grown, but it's all done so realistically. I feel like I tell you that in every chapter but your character development skills remind of me of Queen Maggie Stiefvater. Seriously awesome.
What an amazing chapter and I'm so proud to see how far you've come with this story.
Love you long time♥
Eeep, a new chapter of HTF! YAY!
I love Finn. Like, a lot. I like his character development and how he stays true to himself, but you can easily see how he's changed from his Hero days until now, when he wants to protect Brindley at all costs. And using someone else to do it - that does seem very Slytherin and very Finn-like. I do feel bad for the girl, but as long as Brindley is safe from Grindelwald, it's okay. :P
I love your writing and how it's grown. Like always, this chapter flew by for me. I liked how the pace at the coup was higher and more at-stake than the pace with Brindley, and then it picked up again with Finn and the boys. It felt natural and I gobbled this chapter right up.
AND MY POOR FINNDLEY :( When she said she was dying, my heart broke for Finn. Especially this part:
Brindley's mouth lifted in half a smile. "It's okay, Finn. I've come to terms with it."
The words slipped out of his mouth, hoarse and raw, before he could stop them. "I haven't."
I just love how he's grown to care about her over time and doesn't really have a filter around her anymore.
I also loved this line: "It's fine," she said, smiling. "Pain is relative, you know? There's no use in comparing problems."
Brindley's always seemed wise beyond her years, but not in a condescending way. I guess her condition would help with wisdom.
BUT YOU CAN'T KILL HER TOO, OKAY? MY POOR BABY WON'T BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT.
Lovely chapter as always, B!
♥J
HELLO I'M SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO REVIEW THIS CHAPTER!
Okay so like, I've told you that Finndley is my OTP of the fanfic world right now, right? Because they totally are. I love their dynamic and how Finn is slowly becoming more and more aware of her existence, and he doesn't know why and he finds it annoying, which is adorable and so very Finn.
Okay so I loved the opening scene, and OH GOD FINN IS GOING TO BE MORALLY COMPROMISED NOW AND I AM SO. HERE. FOR. IT. I love love love his character growth and you do it so well and naturally, like he doesn't immediately love her and want to spend time with her.
And I loved the duel scene, I loved that he made sure to get close to her and I loved their talking under their breath, and Tom totally knows because he's smart. And Grindelwald is totally the evil wizard after Mara, I KNOW IT.
AND THEN CAN WE TALK ABOUT DRUNK FINN AND DRUNK BRINDLEY AND THE BLANKET FORT AND THE KISS AND I'M SORRY FOR THE CAPSLOCK BUT IT WAS SO WONDERFUL. It was simple and it felt natural and so very right for them. I can't wait to see if Brindley remembers what happened and how they're going to act around each other after this.
I also loved Finn taking care of her and Brindley giving him a hard time about the Hufflepuff common room, and I just loved everything, okay?!?!
And you. I know you're going through a rough patch but I hope things get better soon because you're amazing and this chapter was amazing.
Love you!
♥J
ALL ABOARD!! Last call for those to climb aboard the USS Finndley before it sets sail across the Pacific!!!
AHEM. I'M NOT EVEN SORRY.
Omg, B. This chapter was so adorable and so worth the wait! Your writing, as always, is on-point. I'm really liking seeing Sebastian coming into his own. I'm mad that Finn would blow him off like that, but it's such a very Finn thing to do and it's true to his character. His character arc and growth is stunning, though. Truly. You can still see bits and pieces of his old self shine through with his cousin and his friends, and even with Brindley - but then he sort of opens himself up and lets himself be a bit vulnerable later on in this chapter and it's just.
THEY ARE SO CUTE I CAN'T EVEN HANDLE IT. I GOT SO DISTRACTED BY THE REST OF THIS CHAPTER BECAUSE JUST. FINNDLEY. (Definitely my fic otp right now)
I loved that urban legend with the Hufflepuffs. Is that actually a thing or is that from the mind of B? Because it could totally be either. And it was cute with Finn and Brindley swapping stories and legends in the tunnel and THE LAUGHING TOGETHER AND THE HANDHOLDING AND THE CAR. OMG.
Also, can we talk for a hot sec about the little plot deliciousness you left us? That Brindley's mother was writing to a man named Harry around the time that she was pregnant? HMMM? Cool! I like this. I like that you still have good plot stuff and even better relationship stuff and I'm just going to stop this review because I'm just going to keep rambling.
In case you couldn't tell, loved this.
Another amazing chapter.
♥J
BIANCA I'M SO HAPPY YOU UPDATED, I MISSED THIS STORY!
Whoa. Whoa. Okay, so I knew it was going to be intense when I read the description, and it was! Poor Finn! :( Having to listen to his father's screams like that. It's so chilling, especially when you think about how everyone else is enjoying the first Quidditch game of the season when the real rivalry is going on not too far from there. I also love how you manage to convince me that yes, this is exactly how it happened! I just want to snuggle Finn though, is that okay? He has so much going on and he seems so stressed, poor baby.
AND SEBASTAIN! IS ADOPTED! WHAT! I know we knew this, but it's weird (and I'm sure it's weird for Finn) to see the certification, the proof. Ugh. There are SO MANY GOOD THINGS IN THIS CHAPTER, B.
Again, boys being boys. A+. I love that Finn still makes time for his friends and that they hang out like normal teenagers. Drinking and having fun. It was a nice balance and breath of fresh air within this chapter that had so much darkness.
TOM. TOM, YOU'RE TURNING INTO RIDDLE NOW AND I DON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE, UGH. I'm glad Finn's starting to feel uncomfortable around him though (like lol with the snake. Oh Tom) and that he so clearly doesn't agree with what he's doing but doesn't know how to step out of it. It's really showing Finn's character development.
AND SO MUCH FINNDLEY GOODNESS IN THIS CHAPTER! Broom closets and him telling her about Hero (WHY BIANCA WHY) :( I'm glad they're sort of mellowing out around each other, and Finn was so nervous it was her! IS THAT FORESHADOWING BIANCA? *glare*
FINNDLEY DEVELOPMENT. FINN DEVELOPMENT. SUPER DARK GRINDELWALD STUFF. Also your flawless writing.
What's not to love about this chapter?!♥
You asked me if you amazed me.
The answer is yes.
THIS CHAPTER THO, B. I knew you were struggling with it, but it's really impossible to tell. Your writing is just. And your characters are just. I LOVE IT ALL.
I wouldn't be surprised if Malfoy had a hand in rummaging through Finn's room, though I wonder to what cost? What would he gain from that, unless Tom thinks that Finn is floundering? Does that make sense? We haven't actually discussed a lot of the plot - so while I know a fair amount, I'm still surprised by some of the things you can think of and it's really just wonderful. This is easily one of my favorite stories on the site right now/favorite fics in general.
AND SO MUCH FINNDLEY IN THIS CHAPTER! I love the banter, I love the glances, I love Finn's thought process. The ship is building, and I couldn't be more excited. They're deifnitely one of my otps right now. I love reading about them and the way you write them. Also, I love love love this part:
Through gritted teeth, she said, "I do not - need - saving."
Yeah, she was angry. "And I'm no white knight," he replied.
Because it's just so Finndley and it spoke to their personalities. And Finn stopping Patrick, he really does have potential to be a great gentleman - if he really wants to be. ♥
And the Ministry scene! I do think parts of it were slow, but I can tell there was important stuff in there. I wonder what's in that file with the Blishwick name?? I hope we get to find out in the next chapter - or soon! And that part with Finndley and the spider, and FORESHADOWING TO THE BLANKET FORT! Squee! I can't wait for that scene.
AND. HE. CALLED. HER. BRINDLEY! YUS, FINNDLEY HAS SAILED. Finn is just in denial, but it's so cute. I love it. And him. And this story. And FInn not wanting to give her the impression that he cares. He totally does though, okay? Okay. Glad we're on the same page about that.
I can't help but be nervous, though, about what Tom's going to do when he finds out that he's sort of friendly with a Hufflepuff... *eyes B suspiciously*
Fantastic chapter as always! Keep up the great work!
♥J
HUFFLEPUFF REVIEW TAG AND I'M THE WORST EVER!<p>Wah, I'm so sorry I haven't formally reviewed this chapter, but here I am to do just that!
Okay, so, you know I love this, yeah? I love how effortlessly you write boys. Finn being annoyed that he can't copy his homework off of his friends and that he has to go to the library late at night is so, well, Finn. I love it. And Briony, I'm pretty sure she's up to something with all those snacks, and I love how sass runs in the family. "You better watch your weight"/"You better watch your mouth" is just so precious and golden.
AND WE GET FINNDLEY IN THE LIBRARY. Sigh, I love them so much. Finn is actually quite observant, especially as we see later with his parents, and I'm glad he's starting to notice more about Brindley. Is he, *gasp* even starting to worry and/or care about her?! OMG. BREAKTHROUGH! Maybe not yet but soon!
I love the dynamics between Finn and Tom here. There's a definite power struggle brewing. Do I detect some bitterness from Finn with "Everyone loved Tom."??? I can't say I blame him for that. And I loved the scene with him and his parents, and how he seems to let his mum linger more after Hero's death. :(
And what's up with Jameson? He's not dying too, is he? IS HE? *glares at Bianca*
And again, boys being boys. You do it so well and it makes me super jealous.
Fantastic chapter as always!! Can't wait for more!!
So so so sorry for the delay darling.
♥J
Author's Response:Hi Jill! I never minded waiting for a review from you, haha. I think you were always reading chapters early, anyway. Ahh, boys are so hard to write so thank you for the compliment! They are a very sassy family haha. Finndley in the library is honestly a dream sequence. Thanks for the review!
Battleship: Hogwarts
B♥
So this chapter. I feel like I start every review like that haha, but I'm not even sorry because! It's just so wonderful and your writing is so wonderful.
I'm not sure if I've actually told you this, but I love your mix of description and dialogue. It's enough to move the story along, but your language is so on-point that I can picture everything in my head like it's another HP movie. And you write Tom so well, too. He's clearly the dominate one in the friendship, as he should be, and it's so interesting that Finn is trying so hard to please him. If only he knew the truth behind Hero's death... maybe he wouldn't be so quick to please Riddle. But I love your characterizations here, too. Finn, Tom, they're just the best.
And you do so well with writing boys be boys that it makes me jealous. Very believable and well done.
The dueling club parallels nicely to the one in CoS. I wonder if that was intentional?
And the charm was brilliant for sneaking into Dippet's office - I might have to steal that idea ;). Tom is so cunning and so good at talking to people.
AND THEN WE GET MCCROY. Ugh, I love them so much! Seriously one of my favorite pairings to read right now. I love their banter, and I love that McCroy doubts Finn and that it frustrates him. And, of course, I love that McCroy is a Hufflepuff.
Brilliant chapter, as always, darling!! Can't wait to read more!
♥Jill
Author's Response:Hey Jill! Eep, I'm more than happy for you to open every review like that, haha. And thank you for the writing compliments, that's so nice and I really appreciate it. The duelling club parallel is kind of intentional but mostly it was just an idea that worked for the story and made sense for the school, haha. Please steal anything you want, haha! Thank you so much for reviewing!
Battleship: Hogwarts
Finn♥
I so love what you're doing with his character, B. I can already see the growth, especially now that we're getting inside his head. He's so protective of his family, and he wants to do what's right by his father. I have a feeling that's going to play a larger role in this story later on, and I can't wait to see where it goes.
AND MCCROY. Okay, I ship them now. I mean, I mostly shipped them in the first chapter, but I definitely do now. What's their ship name? I like that she doesn't take his crap and that she's a Hufflepuff (obviously). I love that she stands up for herself, but she can sense when something's wrong - like the spider. WHY WOULD YOU BRING THAT UP SO SOON, B. GOD.
Your writing is really great here, as always. You missed a few teeny tiny spaces in between a few paragraphs, nothing major at all. That's all I really noticed.
I love this. I love Finn. Please keep writing this, even though I know you love this story too. I can't wait to see where it goes!
♥Jill
Author's Response:The best opening to a review ever, haha. I'm happy you can see where the growth is going to go! I think it's important to hint at it early, but he still has a long way to go. I know this is an old review and you know their ship name already, but let me confirm in writing: Finndley! Thank you for picking up the layout issues! And thank you for this amazing review!
Battleship: Hogwarts
HAI BIANCA! Do I have the first review?! DO I?!
I'm so excited that you decided to post this story, if anything so that I can properly squee and/or review over how amazing this is.
I love, love, LOVE this opening chapter! You have such a strong opening here, and although there isn't an immediate cliffhanger, I'm still drawn to know what happens next, what's going to happen to the boys now that Hero isn't around. It's so interesting that she was struggling with death in her story, and now Finn is the one who is struggling with it. You've done a great job of painting us a picture of the guilt he must be feeling. I can't imagine how difficult it is to lose a sibling, let alone a twin. Poor Finn. I can't believe I'm even saying that with sincerity.
You have really strong language here. You painted an incredible picture of each scene, but the two that stood out to me the most were Finn in his bedroom at home, and Finn sitting in his room at Hogwarts in the dark. It basically gave me chills and felt like I was sitting right there with him.
Tom seems completely unaffected by Hero's death, which isn't too much of a surprise, but I wonder if it's a mask and if he's feeling anything at all. I'm very curious about the dueling club and the dynamics between Finn and Tom. You've done a great job of setting everything up here and I can't wait to see how it plays out.
And McCroy! I don't want to see much, but I'm super excited and can't wait to see the story you've laid out for them in this sequel. I love Finn's sass, it reminds us that even though he's wallowing in this guilt and grief, outwardly, he's still the jerk that everyone loves and hates. You do such a great job of pointing that out.
An absolutely AMAZING job, my dear! Keep up the great work!
Love you! Love this! More please!
♥Jill
Author's Response:Hi Jill! Ahh, I can't remember if you ended up being first, but probably, haha! Oh, that's so lovely that you were still drawn in. Sometimes I forget about the power of cliffhangers, haha. I don't use them enough! Thank you so much for all the kind words, and for your review!
Battleship: Hogwarts
Oh, my Shakespeare, this chapter!
And what a cliffhanger! Is he going to reveal it is Brindley? Is he going to tell the other Hufflepuff girl? Is he going to simply refuse to say anything? I want to know, but at the same time I'm scared of the answer and its consequences.
And by the way, the torturing scene was so powerful. Terrifying and heartbreaking, but so well done. Poor Finn, I just want to cuddle him and keep him safe...
Oh, Ben and Radbourne... I loved the conversation between Ben and Finn and their mutual acceptance. It was a sweet moment, even if there was a bitter taste in it as well, because they are both forced in these situations they can't manage. It is always Tom, indeed.
And the chocolate bit... I wonder if Dumbledore was truly allergic or if he somehow guessed what was going on. After all, Dumbledore always knows everything... he's Dumbledore! I loved the way you wrote him, by the way, and that little argument between him and Tom about love. So very in character for both of them.
Usually he enjoyed his own company - and really, who wouldn't Maybe he's not the old Finn, but some parts of his character will never change! :P Thank you for tearing me a laugh among all the angst!
And of course, Brindley! That moment in the greenhouse was so sweet! So many feel... (also, I loved the creature)
This was such a great chapter and I can't wait for the next!
Love you, little B!
Chiara
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Shake-what??? Was your goal to break my heart? Because in this case, you managed it!
Poor Finn... :'( I just want to hug him tight and never let go! He shouldn't have to deal with all that, he shouldn't be involved, he's just a kid! It's not fair! *more hugs*
Was it Sebastian who told Dumbledore? I have a feeling it might've been, but I guess I'll find out later... and did Tom give him the Dark Mark? Why? What else is he planning now?
Oh, my Shakespeare! So now Finn has a new, impossible task and Brindley is in even more danger... And she's dying??? What???
“It’s okay, Finn. I’ve come to terms with it.” “I haven’t.” Oh, Merlin, this killed me. You have no idea how much... :(
It also really killed me the way Jameson talked to him, but I can see where he was coming from... he just don't want to lose Finn as well... still, he was rather cruel...
On one hand, I'm glad Finn is trying to get Tom off track, on the other I find it awful that he would put him after some random, innocent person... I just hope everything will turn out to be okay in the end...
Sorry for another disconnected review, but I really loved this chapter, despite it being heartbreaking! And now I can't wait for the new one!
Lots of love, my little B!
Chiara
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Hello, Bianca.
I'm your Secret Valentine, here with a little present for you.
This was such a good chapter, so satisfactory and full of events.
Brindley is the illegitimate Potter, I'm surprised Finn didn't realize it until her reconstruction. This definitely puts him in a difficult position but I'm very proud of him for deciding to protect her from Grindelwald. It must be so scary for him, though. And he can't even confide in anyone.
Finn clearly has strong feelings for Brindley, even if he's still struggling to admit them. His concern for her health is so endearing.
I loved your description of our CR, everything circular and sunny and warm. I could breath the Hufflepuff atmosphere, so wonderful.
They kissed! Sure, there was alcohol involved and everything, still... It's so adorable that Finn feels so different about kissing her than all the other girls he's been with. And the scene with Lucretia... I almost felt bad for her. Or maybe I didn't. Anyway, the kiss between Finn and Brindley was utter perfection.
I'm wondering where things will go from here. I expect some Riddle conflict very soon but I'll just patiently wait for your update and find out.
See you soon,
your Secret Valentine
***Transferred from HPFF***
B!!! *wub*
I'm here! I did tell you I would, didn't I? ;)
Oh, wow... this was a great chapter! (Yes, I know I say that about every chapter. It's just the truth.)
Even more mistery... what is it about their cousin in America? What other secrets are the Blishwicks hiding? I want to know!!!
And Bash... I already told you when you showed me that snipped on Skype the other day, but seeing him so fierce makes me fall in love with him even more! I wish Finn was a bit less insufferent when it comes to him, but then again he wouldn't be Finn... :P
By the way, I loved how you showed his conceit in here. There were a few sentences that really craked me up. Eheheh!
And then there is Brindley... with her misterious letters and strange health issues and mischievous attitude... wonder why Finn is attracted by her... :P (yes, Finn, you heard right. And don't even try to deny, I can see through it all, young man.)
But speaking about the letters and the mistery... unprecised magical items? And her father's name is Harry? Are you playing tricks with my brain, B? Cause this isn't funny...
And yay! The drive-in! I love it! Where did you even get the idea? Actually, I do know where did you get the idea... from our Puffy Movie Nights, didn't you? And this is why I love you! (Apart another thousand of reasons...)
It was all so Pufftastic, you don't even have an idea! I loved the legend of the two Animagi as well!!!
And the car scene... that was wonderful! And... wait a sec... were they holding hands? Like, actually holding hands? Like, are you playing tricks on my poor brain again?
This chapter is wonderful, this story is wonderful, you are wonderful!!!
And I want more!!! Like, now!!!
(Okay, no. Not now. NaNo comes first. What kind of parent would I be if I distracted you from your duty?)
Love and hugs,
Mamma Chi
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Oh my Shakespeare, B!
What did you do to my poor heart here?
I don't even know what was sadder... Jameson's torture, Radbourne's "betrayal", Brindley in the hospital wing or that poor Hufflepuff boy... and now I'm also worried sick for my little Bash... can he really be the illegitimate Potter? He was among my suspicions, too, but it doesn't convince me... still, there's something strange about his adoption... guess I'll find out later...
But really, you break my heart repeatedly with this chapter. I only wanted to hug Finn tight the whole time. And that moment when he sort of opens up with Brindley about Hero... I actually almost cried...
And Tom... he's always more perfidious... Finn, I'll beg you once more... you've seen what kind of person he is, what he's capable of... please, stay away from him!
Side note. I really liked Fletcher. He seems so cute. And is he a writer? Sebastian, forgive me, you have a new competitor... :P
And I loved the closing! Brindley is wonderful! I so love the dynamics between the two of them! And now I'm curious about that journal... stop adding new questions instead of giving answers, B! This is getting annoying! (Kidding, I adore you and your writing too much...)
I'll stop with all the rambling now!
See you!
Chiara
***Transferred from HPFF***
B!!!
Here I am, to review your new chapter! :D
Aww... first names... something is already changing... *squeals excitedly*
Okay, where do I begin? Let's start from the beginning...
Our little Slytherin quartet... I love how you're building each of their personalities.
Tom is so... manipulative? :P No, Siriusly, it's unsettling how they just do whatever he asks. Also, I loved the reaction with the diary... someone has already made a Horcrux, I take it? Or more than one, now that I think about it... you showed the ring, too, right? Oh, and it was also so unsettling his research about long effect curses. That boy is so creepy... well, he's Voldemort, what did I expected? *rolls eyes to self*
Ben... he's a bit of an idiot, honestly... but he's a teenager, after all, and teenagers do silly things, right? And that thing Patrick said... is Ben in love with a Muggle? I'm starting to seriously dislike Patrick, by the way... he was really horrible with Brindley, and I didn't like the way he talked about his brother at all! I thought he was a nice bloke... what are you doing, B?!?
Radbourne... he's my favourite! Okay, that's not true because Finn is my favourite... Actually, Sebastian is my favourite, but that's beside the point... *blushing*
Back to Radbourne... I really like that he seems to be slightly more mature than the rest of the gang (except Tom, of course... but that, too, is beside the point...) And I think it's so cute that he wants to be a Healer. Yes, I like that guy. :D
Finn is just Finn, and there's nothing more to tell... Such a prat! I can't believe that he told Kettleburn they'd opted for the DMLE at Brindley's back! Actually, I can totally believe it... such a prat, as I was saying...
By the way... "Bring your manners, please, Mr Blishwick." Best line of the chapter! Ahahah!
I so loved Finn and Brindley at the Ministry! I loved how they interacted, how hostile they were at the beginning and how it lightens as the day goes by. It's just so cute. :)
And the mastilio spider scene... mmmh... quite interesting... Maybe there's more to Hero's death than what you know, Finn? You should be careful about who you befriend... (I know it's useless, I'll still keep trying warning him...)
And now I'm wondering again about Brindley... what happened to her mother? Who is her father? Which kind of illness does she have? What did she mean when she said there was no point in houses? Now I'm wondering if maybe it really is her the Potter child... I don't think she is, but maybe... Oh, well... Guess answers will arrive, right? As for the illness, I'm confident you won't kill her, otherwise you wouldn't be able to write that other story you told me about... Right?
Ok, I think I've uselessly rambled enough... To cut it short, another great chapter! Now you'll have to hurry with the sixth! ;)
Snowball hug, my love!
Your little Chi
***Transferred from HPFF (review from Jimmy Portman :P)***
Hey, there. What's up?
I'm here because... actually, I'm not sure... all I know is that a Sebastian Something visited someone... I don't know what it has to do with me, but Hermione insisted that I should've stopped by because it is polite... I guess it's a good distraction, anyway.
Mmmh... Finn thinking about food made me hungry... guess I'll go down to dinner once I finish reading... if Ron has left me anything...
Potter's illegitimate child? What is it with the Potters? Can't they just have regular children like anyone else??? And why do Dark Wizards target them all the time?
By the way... that Tom seems really creepy... if I were Finn, I would stay far away from him... then, again, Slytherins are weird people... look at Nev... not to mention that Rosier girl... she's quite creepy too...
Ah, a Dueling Club! Sounds exciting! (Even if I wouldn't call life at Hogwarts boring even without it...)
What is it with this Ben person and this Patrick? Not that I care, I have enough troubles on my own...
Why would Finn want to spend time with this Lucretia? She seems so boring, if you ask me.
Hey, now! Who does Finn think he is? Potters are toughter than he thinks! They just have some trouble in keeping their children *rolls eyes*
Again Ben and Patrick... now I'm starting to be curious too...
Can't really blame Finn for attacking Malfoy. If he's anything like his grandchild, he probably deserved it, anyway. Radbourne seems a wise one instead. Hermione would like him.
I do know a girl who is this aggravating and obsessed with school work... this McCroy reminds me a lot of Hermione. Actually, their banter made me think of Herm and Ron, they fight this way all the time. Neville says that they secretly fancy each other... can you believe it?
“Is that what your little Slytherin group is? Knights to King Riddle?” She has a point.
I'm not sure what the big deal with the team name is, but good for Finn to not let Tom push him around.
Oh... they're trying to sneak into the Headmaster office... that's a dangerous thing to do, but they seem to have a good plan... have to ask Herm if she knows this Disillu- erm... no, I'm totally not planning to sneak into anyone's office, don't look at me that way!
Oh, seems like Finn doesn't have a great relationship with his parents? That makes me sad.
Oh, what's wrong with McCroy? Is she ill? And why doesn't her Aunt want her to be cured in S.Mungo's? Muggles are weird at times...
Oh, Godric! What's happening?! What is Tom doing to him?! Forget what I said earlier about dinner, I've lost the appetite...
I need to go, now. I have a Potion essay to finish and I really don't want any more detentions with Snape.
Thank you for the read. It was interesting.
Bye,
Jimmy
Author's Response:Aw, I absolutely loved that this was from Jimmy! What an honour for him to leave this review, ahh! And you wrote it so brilliantly, haha, but of course you write Jimmy well ;) Thank you so much, Chiara! (And Jimmy!)
Battleship: Hogwarts
***Transferred from HPFF***
Hey, B! Shake-what?
I'm profiting of the review tag to finally stop here and leave you this long due review! (I'll slowly catch up, promise!)
Let's start from the beginning! ;) Great opening quote! :)
Ahahah! Poor Finn! I totally understand the trouble of getting up (as you well know... *cough*) I love how you wrote the morning scene, and the tiring dreams! Just great!
Ah, Brindley! She's so cute!
Poor girl, I'm really worried about her health, hope everything will be fine... *hug*
Finn is such an idiot, but that's the way we love him! :P (I'll pretend I didn't hear what he said about us Puffs. I know he'll change his mind, anyway)
And Kettleburn is great! I loved the detail of the bandaged arm and his attitude with the students! :D
Aww... Hero... *sniff* (no, Bianca, I haven't forgiven you yet...)
The Hog's Head scene was great! I especially loved to see Finn's father showing concern for him. So sweet!
And I'm so curious about this illegitimate child... I will find out, just give me time (and hints... I need many hints...)
Finn is such a [insert bad word here] Poor Brindley... I loved that Tom told him not to act like a child. First and last time I agree with Tom Riddle. :P It must've hurt Finn's pride quite badly...
Speaking of Tom, he's always more scary... the control he has on the other boys is creepy, to say the least. Wish Ben listened to Patrick... :(
Aww, Bash!!! *hug* *wub* *hug* *wub* *hug* *wub* Do I need to say anything on the matter?
Actually, I do...
Sebastian, love, don't be so hard on Finn... he truly does care for you! *some more hugs*
Snowball hug for you, my little B!
Chiara
Author's Response:Hi Chi! Hehe I'm glad you like the opening! Haha I do know your struggles in the morning so I'm glad you can relate to Finn :P Writing his insults about the Puffs was very hard, for obvious reasons, but yes, he'll change his mind, haha! Aw, I'd almost forgotten your love of Sebastian so I loved reading your reaction to his appearance again! Thank you so much for your review!
Battleship: Hogwarts
***Transferred from HPFF***
Hello, B!
I'm here, finally, to review the first chapter of HTF (possibly the second, too, but I can't guarantee... :P)
I'll try to review as I read, so forgive me if it comes out a bit disconnected. But you won't mind, will you? ;)
First of all, I'm sure I already told you on google docs, but the starting description, with Finn staring out of the window in the rainy night is incredibly beautiful and powerful. It sets the mood so wonderfully, and is written just brilliantly. But that your writing is brilliant is well known.
Also, this sentence, "Sixth year was important, despite his indifference. Or so he’d been told." So perfect. Practically, this is Finn in 12 words!
Aww... his guilt for Hero's death... if only he knew... I feel so horrible for him... Can I give him a hug? Just quickly? It's not your fault, Finn. Believe me, it's not. :(
"So when people asked him, “How was your summer?” his smile would say, “It was fine, thank you”.
His heart would say, “It was the worst I’ve ever had.”" This line is just perfection, too! I so love it!
Second scene, and the mood change completely. Typical adolescent boys in class. May I add, Slytherin adolescent boys. :P And Finn is his good, old, braggard self again. (And I'm back at wondering if I hate him or love him...)
Oh, Tom didn't show emotion when Hero died? Why am I not surprised by that? (About hating Tom Riddle, I have no doubts).
Ahahah! Finn doesn't like homework, apparently. Can't blame him, to be honest... :P
And here we go with the Marauders' parallels... Finn bringing is hand to his hair to show off his muscles reminds me so much of James trying to impress Lily... :P
"“Finn,” Tom said warningly without looking up from his book." Good, old, manipulative Tom! (Needed to use the word... :P)
Ah... Brindley appears! A pity Finn is such a jerk to her... :(
Also, what happened with the Avery brothers during the summer? I'm curious...
New scene... and, oh, Tom has Marvolo's ring... a bit unsettling, to be true...
Abraxas is such a Malfoy... just saying...
"“There’s food,” Radbourne said helpfully." Ahahah! That would convince themon making it into the Slug Club! :D
Also, it's so scary how Tom already has them at his complete mercy...
And, wow. That was a tense moment, when Finn said that about the Basilisk... I'm wondering if Tom ever "punished" them... But, now I'm giggling because I'm thinking about our conversation about Tom chatting with the Basilisk... and how he reacted as he slid down the Chamber... Ihihih!
And the wands' joke! Ahahah! I love it! And I love our little Skype group! *wub*
New scene, and we're back to the beginning...
"You have to live for the both of you now. She was everything he wanted to be. He was everything she feared to become." So heartbreaking and so perfect! Poor Finn... Poor Hero... :'(
Ah, thanks to you, my little B, my wonderful Shakespeare buddy! I did nothing at all (except fangirling over this). :P
And just because I like to say that, shake-what?
Lots of love and snowball hug,
your little Chi.
Author's Response:I never mind a disconnected review! I love getting a real-time reaction as people review, haha. I love how many lines you pulled out! I really appreciate when people do that, and show me what they liked best! I miss our little Skype group! Thank you so much, Chi! <3
Battleship: Hogwarts
Hello again! I'm so sorry for the delay between the first chapter and this one. I meant to read and review before today, but somehow RL got in the way :/
I am already blown away by how brilliant this story is! Only two chapters in and the suspense is killing me. I have so many burning questions to ask!
Firstly, though; what a fantastic Mark Twain quote to open this chapter with. It's such a chilling and truthful line.I have to say, I thought Finn's "limited brain cell" line, pertaining to the Hufflepuffs, was EXTREMELY rude of him, and deserved an ass-walloping hex as well as more docked points! I also thought it was a bit mean of Kettleburn to stick poor Brindley with Finn after he'd made that remark. I loved the details we learn about Kettleburn here and the comment relating to his experience with skittish animals. The sling really highlights how dangerous this subject is, and does it precede a canon missing limb or two?
Yeesh, the Care of Magical Creatures term topic: fill in a chart about insects around Hogwarts. I would SERIOUSLY cry if I had that assignment. What a prize as well - a Ministry visit! Woohoo (not, lol). Finn seems to share my revulsion for anything with too many legs (although I don't mind butterflies/moths/dragonflies tbh), but despite him being a git earlier on, my heart did break a little when he sees the picture of a Mastilio spider. I admit, it took me a moment to twig, because I haven't read the earlier story.I'm intrigued by so many things by now! Mainly the plans Finn's father has, Grindelwald, and the illegitimate Potter, though. I'm REALLY curious to know who he or she is. My initial thoughts lie with Brindley. There might be clues in your previous stories, I don't know, and I MUST acquaint myself with them at some point. After FROGS, probably. But DEFINITELY soon!
The scene with Sebastian in the library (I'm glad Finn is sticking up for him, even if his father has disowned him) and the fact that he's muggleborn with, as yet, undisclosed parents makes him a possible candidate for the illegitimate Potter position too.
Yikes, Tom. That's a tall order for poor Finn. Make oneself invisible in nine minutes and steal something from the Headmaster's office? The power that Riddle already has over these boys is frightening.
Another brilliantly-written chapter! Looking forward to reading more very soon!
Brax X
Author's Response:Hey Brax! Aw, I'm so glad you're enjoying the story! I'm quite proud of the quotes that I chose for each chapter and think they fit really well so thank you for mentioning it! Trust me, I want to ass-wallop him everytime he insulted the Hufflepuffs, haha. The things I do as a writer... I would also hate the assignment, haha. Insects are okay from a great distance! Thank you so much for your review!
Battleship: Hogwarts
I loved the discussion between Ben and Finn. Finn has grown up so much. At first in this story at the beginning, he was an arrogant pest 98% of the time and a cinnamon roll the other 2%, but now I think he's at 10% jerk and 90% cinnamon roll. Like, I'm sure he's still goign to say dumb selfish things every now and then but he has come SO FAR and is so much kinder and he's gained a lot of sympathy. Old Finn would have had a wildly different reaction to Ben coming out. But here, they both have this sort of camaraderie now that they didn't have before, that they both love people they'd be judged for by anyone else, and they're both afraid of Tom, and it seems to bring them closer together.
I'm betting Dumbledore isn't actually allergic to any chocolate, but he saw that Radbourne was terrified while offering him chocolate and Tom was standing right there, and he just put things together that way :P Smart.
FINN AND BRINDLEY IN THE GREENHOUSE ♥♥♥♥
“I’d rather spend a few days with you,” he said quietly, “than years with anyone else.” -- ASDKJFLAKSDJFLKAJSDLKJFASDKF *melts* THIS IS SO ADORABLE AND I HAVE SO MANY FEELS IT'S KILLING ME SEND HELP
Lol at Tom saying love doesn't have any power or start wars. I'm pretty sure it's started a whole lot more wars than anything else :P
Oof... so I have an unpleasant theory about the last line. I don't think he sold out that fourth year, and I don't think he's going to say it's Brindley (unless we're getting into some solid Orwell/1984 type stuff here). I think he's going to say it's himself. I don't know why, I just have this bad feeling. I'm glad he's not sending either of the girls to their doom but FINN WATCH OUT, you can't outsmart Grindelwald and HELP THIS WILL NOT GO WELL. Omg, I'm panicking for him AND THERE'S NO NEXT CHAPTER PLEASE FIX THIS ASAP
THIS WAS A GREAT CHAPTER. SO AMAZING THAT I HAVE TO EXPRESS MYSELF IN CAPSLOCK ONLY
I LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE SO TALENTED. Speaking of which, congrats on winning all of the awards with this story!
NEW REVIEW BECAUSE I'M CATCHING UP ON THIS STORY!
I missed this when it was first posted, so I'm (finally) here now to remedy that!
N O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O
I mean I saw it coming but still NO O O O O
that kind of sums up all I have to say. You know why.
And geez, as much as I appreciate Finn finally growing a backbone and standing up for Brindley when Ben was filling the room with smoke, and how he genuinely wants to save Brindley, hurting an innocent little fourth year is not the way to do it. omg. he is in such a horrible situation and there are no good choices and I just hope he doesn't do it. there has to be another way!
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