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“But in these last ones Harry tells her to be careful of this man, who they just call ‘G’.” -- G...rindelwald? He's the only person I can think of who people should be wary of whose name also starts with a G. But is he too early? After all this letter is from like 16 years ago. I guess I'll just read on and find out :P
Brindley was Henry Potter’s illegitimate child. -- I CALLED IT! :D Though I must say you did an admirable job of making me second guess myself into thinking it was potentially Sebastian.
Also, poor Finn. Talk about something to really make you reevaluate your whole life. He's been trying to figure this out for a while, and then the information just falls into his lap and it's something he doesn't like, because over the past few months he's gotten to know Brindley and started to like her. But it says a lot about how much he's changed, that his first thought is that he can save Brindley, unlike how he couldn't save his sister or his father.
Tom doesn't miss anything. He saw Finn's indecision for like 2 seconds and has probably figured it all out.
Finn is literally giving himself a fake injury so he can go see Brindley in the hospital wing. Is he still trying to say he doesn't care about her? Is that the story he's going with? Because...
Also, all the secret conversations they have with one another while they're pretending not to notice one another. I bet they're actually super obvious.
Brindley saying she'd never been to the area with the barrels (aka the entrance to her own common room) and then making Finn say a fake password to a barrel... ahahaha this is magical and hilarious and Finn talked to a barrel.
THEY ARE MAKING A BLANKET FORT OMG also wizard blanket forts sound way more sophisticated than Muggle ones. Like you don't have to have all the stuff in the middle that holds the blankets up because magic.
Did he just accidentally and very non subtly call her an angel? Yep, he did. I'm enjoying this but also waiting for the part where Saffron is bound to walk in and be like "Yo I told you to come right back out of this room so what are you doing."
But thank you for keeping Saffron out of the room because that blanket fort scene/the kiss was amazing and I loved it. And Finn has so many feelings to sort through. I wonder what the repercussions of that night will be though - how it will change Finn and Brindley's relationship, and what Lucretia will do now that she knows Finn likes Brindley.
Ah, this was such a great chapter! ♥ Loved it!
The second half of this chapter was the cutest thing I have ever read. Especially Finn being such a dork and fetching Brindley's scarf for her. I want to replay this moment over and over.
As for the first half: I know you hinted at Sebastian being the lost Potter, and I think Ive mentioned this before but I really think it's Brindley. Who is her father really? RIGHT?
Okay but let's talk about the second half the chapter again because it's so adorable and they watched Casablanca together and they drove a car like a proper gentleman and lady and then they flirted a lot. And he told her a dumb story about the Bloody Baron and she thought it was funny. I needed this fluff so much after the intensity of the previous chapters. I love them and I love you. Happy New year!
I love the quotes you start each chapter with. Here I'm wondering who the innocent one is that's alluded to with that quote, and I dread to think it's Brindley. Only time will tell.
I had forgotten that Finn's owl's name is Adonis and it made me laugh all over again.
Ooh, things just got interesting regarding Sebastian..
Yikes, what a time to Floo in. Poor Jameson :( I wonder if this is a turning point for Finn though. This whole story so far (and in Hero as well) Finn has been a bystander, sometimes feeling like he should do something but he never does, and this was one such example that must have hit pretty close to home. I wonder if this is what changes him - he does seem to have a lot of determination to set things aright, although whether he puts words to action is another thing.
I know this isn't really important but really, what is Fletcher writing? hahaha
Wow, back when the Hog's Head was new and people actually went there aside from Mundungus Fletcher.
That's quite a show from Tom about what happens when they disobey him. He's such an abusive friend. Also, I wonder if he found out something about Radbourne that he can blackmail him with or if Radbourne owes him for something, because Radbourne seems a lot less keen to stand up to Tom as he was in the previous chapter. Also - is this the source of the collapsed tunnel marked on the Marauder's Map? You're a genius Bianca ;)
ASDLKJFALKSJDFLK the scene in the hospital wing is simultaneously so sweet and heartbreaking. They're bonding because of their grief and they're putting their antagonism towards each other aside for a moment and it's beautiful, even if the reason for it is sad.
Poor little Hufflepuff kid :(
As for the last bit, all I have to say is this: THERE WAS FLIRTING
DEAR BIANCA,
MERRY HOLIDAYS
I'm here with a few reviews!
I notice Tom doesn't want people reading his diary. Either it's already a Horcrux or he's been writing about his crush on someone unattainable and drawing broken hearts and writing emo poetry and he's too embarrassed to let his friends see. Obviously my money is on the latter.
This curse that Tom is looking for sounds like only bad news. I'm sure he doesn't really need to include that in his essay. He's finished with his essay, after all.
I like Radbourne. At least he has a backbone and isn't cool with just being a bystander. Can't say the same for Finn. I love that Radbourne wants to be a Healer as well. How did he get mixed up with this bunch?
“Radbourne,” Tom continued, “get a copy of Moste Potente Potions and bring it to me.” -- Where does one get a copye of Moste Potente Potionse? At Ye Olde Towne Shoppe.
Ah, no, the librarye.
[Sidenote: I sincerely apologize for this review already. It's a late night review and those have a tendencye to be weirde. I am so not a night owl.]
Hahaha, now Finn, do I detect a hint of jealousy? He does seem unreasonably irritated at seeing Brindley kissing Patrick Avery.
FINN YOU SMUG JERK. HE IS THE WORST. I don't know how Brindley didn't see it coming. Because of course he would do something like that, making an executive decision about the Ministry that favors him and totally disregarding what she wants.
I love your description of the Ministry in those days and how you used the smallest canon details, like in the books Arthur mentioned that they used to have owls delivering the memos, and here they are - and Bob Ogden is working there. Sidenote, it would be so nerve-wracking to be in an elevator while there are birds flying above you and you can't get out of their way. I feel like I'd need to have an umbrella at all times. Anyway, this has gotten off topic but what I wanted to say is I like your attention to detail.
“Well, since I’m here, might as well enjoy it,” she whispered back. -- I love her
The small medium at large XD I love that joke
Ouch! Double ouch. That's a difficult way for Finn to learn about Brindley's parents. Who does she live with? Aunt? Uncle? Also, I love how cute Finn was being with the joke about the troll cave and it kind of breaks my heart how she responded. Ugh. I am very sad. The fact that Brindley is so upbeat and positive even when she's got so much to deal with - she's a pretty amazing person. ALSO, there was some almost flirting there in that scene. And I noticed at the end that Finn used her first name! I saw it!
Excellent chapter! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Here I am... signed sealed delivered, I'm yours. I mean, here I am with your requested review. :P
Wait, Finn wants to do homework?! :O Where is the real Finn and what happened to him? DANGER, WILL ROBINSON.
Why does he not own a copy of the textbook? How is he going to become this new responsible person who studies and wants to do his homework, if he doesn't even have the required class materials? I know he's rich enough to afford it, so he can't even use that as an excuse. *shakes head*
After hours library pass? It's like they're asking for trouble. I guess I can see why these passes no longer existed by the time Harry went to Hogwarts. :P
He stood in front of her desk. She didn’t look up. “I need that book,” he said bluntly. -- Um. In case I doubted that Finn is the most entitled, selfish snob ever. Literally he thinks she's going to give him the book she's using just because he needs it. This is how toddlers think about toys. Come on, Finn, you can be better than this.
Her hair added a sweeter scent to the library; like cinnamon -- *makes mental note just in case you have a chapter on Amortentia coming up*
Um. All the coughing fits and she's even coughing up blood into a handkerchief. I remember when this happened in Moulin Rouge and it didn't turn out well. Aah! I'm seriously worried about Brindley. What is going on with her? It seems like a wizard illness, but one Finn isn't familiar with either. One thing I did catch however: Finn is concerned. He'd deny it I know, but he was worried there.
Aw, Brindley covers for him so he doesn't get kicked out of the library. She has literally NO reason to be nice to him after how he's treated her. But she's just nice. That's who she is. AND. Finn is jealous of Brindley's date?? And I notice him glancing at her a lot. A long glance. *Raises more flags on the RMS Finndley* (wait I just remembered Finn's full name is Finlay isn't it? Finlay and Brindley. They RHYME. Hehehe. Did you do that on purpose? XD )
the hard and unfeeling outside he let the world see might be inhuman, but it was a hell of a lot more civilized than what he hid inside. -- I mean I do feel bad for Finn but he literally sounds like the music I used to listen to in 8th grade. ANGST
Brindley really didn't have to apologize for saying that. Finn needed to be taken down a peg or ten.
Slughorn chortled. “Indeed! I also heard tell of your skills as a duelist.” -- Random fact but I accidentally read duelist as 'dentist' at first
When you mention Henry Potter's familiar face - particularly the turned up nose... Long shot here but I feel like you mentioned Brindley's nose as turned up. Maybe. Once. I think? Maybe I made it up. Anyway now I'm really wondering. Of course, it's probably someone from Hogwarts, but my money is on Brindley.
Aw, Finn's mum kind of breaks my heart. She may not know the particulars of what's going on but she's definitely aware something is going on and that Finn is confused about it.
So the pineapple Tom got for Slughorn was actually bought by Finn. Haha, for all the way Tom weasels his way in with other people, he literally does no work to do so. He's like a puppeteer just moving the strings of everyone around him. And it's so believable.
I have no comment except eye rolling about Finn and Lucretia at the end. When Finn wants to study, he demands a book from someone who's already using it because how could anyone not understand that he wants to study. But when a girl he likes wants to study, he can't understand why she wants to study and seduces her instead because that's what he wants. *headdesk* Finn has a lot of growing up to do, and up to this point he basically only thinks about himself, but I think that's why he's such a dynamic character and interesting to read about. He's an idiot 98% of the time, but that 2% is when he feels shame and guilt about Hero, or concern about Brindley, and you can tell that he has potential to be better. Oh and I guess by 'no comment' at the beginning of this paragraph I meant 'a lot of comments'.
How did this review get so long? I'm about to run out of characters. So um, this was a good chapter. I should probably have some CC, shouldn't I? I guess there was this:
He threw himself into the chair, letting the legs scrape nosily, - That should probably say 'noisily'. Unless the chairs are not minding their own business.
Okay that's all. This was a great chapter! ♥
Author's Response:Best way to open a review, haha! Thank you for pulling out all those lines, I love knowing what people enjoy reading! Aw, so sweet that you can see in that little 2% that he has potential to change! He goes through such a big arc so I'm happy you can see a glimpse of it. And thanks for picking up that typo, haha! Thank you for the review!
Battleship: Hogwarts
BIANCA! ♥ ♥ ♥ I am here with many hugs and also this fact: Did you know that wood frogs, which can live above the Arctic Circle, hibernate by freezing completely solid?
And also I'm here with your requested review.
Why is Finn sitting around listening to Tom Riddle and failing at spells when he could be eating dinner? I thought he had more sense than that. :P
Wow, Tom is definitely becoming a lot more Voldemorty and it's really easy to see how he eventually becomes Voldemort. That line about "not by his side, but I will rule" -- eek! Dun dun dun...
Oh my. Family drama for the Avery's. Ben isn't very good at playing it cool, anyone can see right through the way he just angsted his way out of the dormitory haha.
Finn has such high hopes about how his project of kidnapping and threatening will turn out. Ah, Finn *shakes head*
Yikes, that was an intense dueling club meeting. Finn kind of comes across as pathetic here because he's obviously so desperate for Tom to like him, and still at the end Tom and Malfoy are whispering together and ignore Finn.
Also do you have to keep reminding me about Hero? :( It's sad. But also I think it says so much that Finn still cares and things keep reminding him of her. Things like this make me think that when Finn finds out about Tom's role in her death, he will instantly stop being on Tom's side. In his heart if not officially.
Birds flying low overhead is a big deal. I sympathise, Finn!
Lol, of course his owl is named Adonis. I don't know why I found this so hilarious but it is.
I like that Brindley isn't afraid to be blunt and say that Finn is basically a sheep following Tom around. The one question I had about this section is why Brindley is reading that book in the owlery. Like, she comes up there to find moths, and next Finn looks at her she's reading about Brocken Spectres. Is that just to pass the time until she senses a moth is in the area? While I love that this is how the Knights of Walpurgis discussion came up, I think it could use a tiny bit of clarification ;)
Ooh, and the Knights of Walpurgis make their first appearance. I like that it was Finn's idea, and of course that the original Death Eaters names came from something mentioned by a Hufflepuff who is like the complete opposite of them :P And that it started out as simply the name for their dueling club - you're doing really well at building all of this up.
I especially like that all that dramatic build up happens just before this line: He stepped back to admire his handiwork - and their number of points - pleased to have done something with dignity before he went to hunt bugs. -- hahaha.
Did he find any millipedes?
Bahaha, Finn just can't abide the fact that Brindley doesn't find him attractive. Please tell me that next time he sees her he's going to be like, casually flexing his biceps or something in an attempt to show off and change her mind. XD
oh man I can 100% relate to Finn having issues concentrating and having to work 10x as hard for his grades. That is me. It sucks. Poor Finn!
Oh no :( I think your writing of Tom is PERFECT in this last bit though, everything from his slimy ingratiating himself with the professors in order to sneak information out of the office, to torturing Finn when he failed to get the information. What is it going to take for him to realize he's better off out of Tom's group? Or is he just in too deep now? *bites nails in worrying about Finn*
This was a great chapter! Things are really starting to get intense now and aaah. !!! Excellent work ♥
Author's Response:Hi Kristen! I forgot we used to open reviews to each other with random facts :P So I didn't know (remember) the frog fact but it just makes me think of Avatar now, and sucking on the frogs to cure a cold, haha! I loved getting this live commentary from your reading, you always make the best comments on things. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, and thank you so much for the review!
Battleship: Hogwarts
Gift tag! I couldn't resist coming back to read more.
Finn. Seriously this is what, the second day of school, and he's already given up on the idea of punctuality. Oh well. I can't complain if it sets him up with Brindley.
Legitimate medical reasons...? like... a cold? please say it's nothing worse
"The pretty things are dangerous" -- something Hero found out the hard way, but I think it's fair to say butterflies aren't dangerous. Nor is Brindley, just FYI Finn. Maybe she's dangerous to his current status as Tom's BFF, but that's a good thing :P
Broken hearts were weak. -- *SOBS* I know Finn would not appreciate my sympathy, but I just feel so bad for him here.
WOAH, so Grindelwald is planning to hold Illegitimate Potter Child hostage until his father gives up the Invisibility Cloak? (I'm assuming) Eek.
I really don't like the way Jameson treats his son. It seems to me he's just using him as a piece in a game, so to speak - he cares about him as a son, I'm sure, but equally so, he cares about Finn in terms of what Finn can do for Jameson's cause, without thinking of whether or not Finn even wants to be involved. Ugh.
Also, Finn is SUCH a jerk, blowing smoke at Brindley just to be obnoxious. Hahaha. I still like him as a character though, but for this I kind of want to smack him over the head with a book.
Aww, poor Sebastian! I can't blame him for reacting towards Finn as he did, but that must hurt. I hope Finn starts to open his eyes after this, because his second-year cousin sees more than he does...
And stealing from the Headmaster? Bold move. Of course Tom would have Finn do it instead, but that's got to be a daunting task. I mostly want him to fail, except then Tom will probably make some tragic "accident" befall him. O__O
This was a great chapter though! I love the way the story is shaping up!
Author's Response:Hi Kristen! Yeah, it's all for the good of the story, haha ;) I'm so happy you like Finn, even at this terrible stage he's in! I think if a character isn't likeable they still need to envoke empathy in a way so I'm glad I managed that! I'm so happy you like how the story is going!
Battleship: Hogwarts
*Transferred from HPFF*
GIFT TAG
So um. Somehow this story has been sitting here for months and I haven't read it yet, despite how much I loved Hero. I'm here to remedy that.
Before we even begin I'm so excited to be reading about Finn. Throughout Hero's story there were hints that Finn was kind of having second thoughts at times, and I'm really looking forward to this insight into his mind. Also I know there's a Slytherpuff romance and I have a weakness for those. :D
A spider bite. An allergic reaction. Preventable. But Finn hadn’t been there, hadn’t been able to protect her as a brother should.
Now he wasn’t a brother at all. -- guh this just kills me :'( Also, I wonder how long it will be before Finn finds out the truth about his sister's death. And whether Tom will tell him, or whether Finn will accidentally discover the truth...
“If you’re going to die, can you do it quietly?” -- *narrows eyes at Bianca* THIS BETTER NOT BE FORESHADOWING. After the final chapter of Hero I really don't know what to expect from you. Don't do it. I'm suspicious mainly because of Saffron's reaction. What was she doing?
The resurrection stone appears. The previous owner 'no longer had need of it'... yeah, that's one way to put it.
Hahahaha at Radbourne convincing Benedict to go to the meeting with Slughorn because "There's food". Hilarious because it's so true that this is a sure way to get anyone to go to a meeting!
WAND JOKES. XD Of course, this is a group of teenage boys, I shouldn't have expected otherwise. And Tom doesn't even laugh! He has about as much of a sense of humour as plasterboard.
Ahh and that last section is so sad. Particularly how he admits (to himself) that she was what he wanted to be, and that he knows he is what she was afraid to become. like, he doesn't really think a whole lot about what exactly it is he's doing and how much he personally aligns with it, but he's self-aware enough to realize that he envies Hero in how she's not like him. Cue angsting from Finn in upcoming chapters as he struggles with who he is and figures out Tom's role in Hero's death and/or simply grows tired of Tom's lack of a sense of humour.
This is great so far. I can't wait to read more. :D
Author's Response:Kristen! Hi! I'm so glad you were excited to read about Finn going into this story! He was so naughty in the Hero I couldn't be sure whether people would like this haha. I love that no one knows what to expect from me anymore, haha! Thank you so much for your kind words, and for this review!
Battleship: Hogwarts
Hello Bianca! I am so sorry it's taken me so long to visit your AP *hangs head in shame* I guess I should have started with Hero first, as I realised after reading this first chapter that I'd probably spoiled the suspense of the previous story for myself :/ but as this has been nominated in several FROGS categories, I decided to give it a whirl, and I'm so glad I did.
What a brilliant first chapter! I was so drawn in by the premise and your beautifully-crafted characters. This story is also such a change from the next-generation fics that I usually read; I haven't come across many stories set in Tom Riddle's era at Hogwarts.I loved the first paragraph, detailing the rune references :) A rune-shaped birthmark and the use of runes to replace numerals on a watch face are very cool things for someone who did well on their Runes OWL. Will the runes play a part in the rest of this story?
It's very sad to note that the protagonist is mourning the loss of his sister to an allergic reaction from a spider-bite. I wish he wouldn't blame himself though - what could he have done? Ohhhhh, Tom Riddle was involved? Was it really a spider-bite at all. Dammit, I really must read the previous story now and find out.
Finn's involvement in Tom Riddle's circle gives me the chills. This is sixth year, so the year after the chamber was opened. Wait - the Slytherin boys all know a Basilisk was involved? Do they know it's Tom who unleashed it? Would they still be fraternising with him if they knew? So many questions - I'm so sorry!
Tom certainly seems to have a plan for his followers. I wonder whether their duelling gang will be called the Death Eaters?
This was such an exciting read, from an era I don't usually venture into. I can't wait to find out more and I'm really pleased the FROGS brought me here!
Brax X
Author's Response:Hey Brax! It's fine that you started with this story! And if you ever do read Hero, I hope you still enjoy it. There's still a lot in there that isn't spoiled in this story! There are a lot of rune references in this story, and they do become important later! I'm glad you have lots of questions, haha! They will all be answered, I promise! Thank you so much for this review!
Battleship: Hogwarts
Bianca!! Hello, my love!
I'm back! And still loving it! So McCroy is amazing. I love her whole, not taking any crap attitude. But then you also know she's kind, like when she realized that Finn saw the picture of the spider in the book. :( There's a lot of tension between Finn and her. Is that going to lead to anything? *wink wink, nudge nudge* Or is this poor girl going to die of some random disease, because of the whole coughing thing that doesn't seem right? And ew, bugs. I would refuse to do that project lol. I'll take my T, thanks professor.
So we have the first Potter that's going to be a problem for Tom. And then the whole Ministry thing. I had a feeling when it was mentioned that that would be the prize, someone would tell Finn to make sure that he won it. I wasn't expecting his father to be the one though. I thought it would end up being Tom for whatever reason. And the whole idea of Tom Riddle and Grindelwald working together in any capacity is just terrifying to think about. I'm kinda hoping there's a point when we'll get to see them interact.
Sebastian is going to be the illegitimate kid, isn't he? I have a feeling. And that'll be some major drama. I wonder (if he is) what Finn will do? Like if he'll try to hide it or what will happen. I definitely love how you write young Tom. When he used his charm to ask the librarian if they could have ten more minutes, it was just perfect. I imagine he used his looks to his advantage quite a bit, before he looked like a melting snake candle, after GoF.
This story is so addicting. It's your writing, really. Your characters seem so real, and Finn is an amazing character to follow. I'm torn between wanting to go back and read Hero, or just plow through this since I already started. What do I do, Bianca?! Tell me what to do!
Great work, my love! Can't wait to read more!!
All the love and hugs,
Meg
Author's Response:Hi Meg! *wink wink, nudge nudge* is all I'll say! And I'm with you on the bug thing, hahaha. "The first Potter to be a problem to Tom" - I never thought of it like that! It's great to see your guesses, but you'll have to wait and see whether you're right! Keep reading this one, that's what you should do! ;) Thanks for the review!
Battleship: Hogwarts
Bianca!! We're swapping for realzies this time lol.
So I've only read the first chapter of Hero prior to this, and you were right. Spoilers. But that doesn't make me not want to finish it. I'm like more curious now and feel even more than before like I have to read it. Because I'm sure it had to have been more than just a spider bite. Especially if Tom Riddle was involved.
I cant tell you how intriguing it is to read a story about the early, early days of Voldemort's inner circle from the POV of a student. It's really interesting to see these future Death Eaters just act like normal kids, for the most part. Flirting, fighting, talking about school work and whatnot. It humanizes them. I feel like I have to blast though Hero and then quickly get back to this. I'm loving it.
The wand jokes were way too funny. I was chuckling out loud at that part. XD
I really love how you've written young Tom Riddle. Like, he's in control, but still not totally. Everyone seems like they're more comfortable around him than they are when he's full blown Voldemort. But you can still tell he's the leader of their little group. And it's a tad creepy. Like when he spoke of the ring, which we all know how he acquired it. *chills*
I feel so bad for Finn though. I can imagine losing a twin. My little brothers (I say "little" but they're 28 haha) are twins, and just the thought of one of them not being around any longer is too much to think of. I'm really wondering how that's going to impact him going forward. Like will be change for the better, or will he become dark and hardened?
Your writing is absolutely gorgeous, too. It's so smooth and truly a pleasure to read. You've got buckets of talent, my dear. :)
After the FROGs reading period is over, Hero and this are next on my reading list. I love it!
All the love and tons of hugs,
Meg
Author's Response:Hey Meg! Sorry about the spoilers haha. I hope you still find lots to enjoy in Hero. I'm so glad you like the concept, I'm a huge fan of reading early Tom Riddle days so when I finally got around to writing one it was really fun to explore! And thank you so so much for the writing compliments, I really appreciate them!
Battleship: Hogwarts
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